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Thursday, March 24, 2016

The Semi-Sweet Sixteen


Well, my damies. I promised you a reaction to the NCAA Tournament's opening weekend. So here it is:

That was the most mediocre, and least satisfying NCAA Tournament opening weekend that I can ever remember.

So, yeah. I haven't been a fan. At least relatively speaking. Sure, I've enjoyed my Syracuse Orange surprising (see: pissing off) the nation at large with their shady run. But even that hasn't been all that entertaining, as neither opponent even bothered to get off the bus. Combine that with the facts that A) I'm not from Northern Iowa, and B) I picked Michigan State to win it all, and forgive me if I don't exactly have a semi as we head into the regional semifinals...

Thankfully, we still have another weekend for which to make good. OR, in failing that, we still have another weekend with which to piss people off with another Syracuse win or two. Either way, we've got more basketball to watch. So it can't be all bad. Unless it is, in which case you'll hear from me again...

So enjoy the weekend, my damies! By which I mean the actual basketball on TV, and not precarious comings and goings of your various bracket pools. Once you filled that thing out, everyone stopped caring. Seriously. EVERYONE. The people pretending to care? Yeah, they don't. They're just unable to get a word in edgewise and/or spending the time that you're talking staring at their smartphone. Either way, they aren't really listening. So I advise you save your breath (and feel free to apply the same strategy when talking about your children, meals, and pets). Or at least wait for someone to ask. Which they won't, unless they're A) bored out of their respective trees OR B) quickly realizing there may be no other common ground...

Oh, and you should make sure you understand why that picture at the top of my post is fantastically appropriate. Because creative and timely Interweb art is the best, and that is some very creative and timely Interweb art. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna tell ya why. Mostly because you're bracket humping rat bastards. But mostly because I rather enjoy sending people down Interweb rabbit holes...

So hop on off, my damies. And enjoy yourself some weekend basketball. Oh, and it's Easter this weekend! Look at me, workin' in a timely rabbit pun without even realizing it! So, yeah. Enjoy that too! OR don't. I'm really more concerned with you enjoying the basketball. But if you can fit in the time to eat enough chocolate eggs and Peeps to give you diabetes, I'm certainly not going to hold it against you. Personally, I'm more looking forward to the 'Easter GBunny' memes should Syracuse beat Gonzaga (though I'd settle for a good 'Be Like Gmike'). But that's putting the cart before the rabbit. So I'll let Al Gore and associates handle that one, should the appropriate occasions hilariously present themselves..

But until then, I'm gone. Enjoy your weekend, friends. And I'll catch you next time...  

#BAGSMUNMAN

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