Well, my damies. We'e got a slight change in plans. You see, originally, I was going to provide you with a myriad of potentially profitable Super Bowl prop bets, this week. Along with the latest addition of my College Hoops Top 25...
Instead, I've chosen to provide you only with my straight up pick for the big game, and in lieu of prop bets and bball, I'll be pleasuring you with my ranking of the 16 films of the Coen Brothers. Ya know, because Hail, Caesar! premieres today, everyone else is making these lists, and I did the same thing with Tarantino after viewing The Hateful Eight. So, here ya go. With no further explanations given, here are the 16 films of Joel and Ethan Coen. Ranked: (italics are where the films currently reside on my personal Top 100)
16. Intolerable Cruelty
15. The Hudsucker Proxy
14. A Serious Man
13. The Ladykillers
12. Blood Simple
11. True Grit (the 1969 original is #82)
10. Burn After Reading
9. The Man Who Wasn't There (#88)
8. Barton Fink (#55)
7. Raising Arizona (#13)
6. Fargo (#11)
5. Inside Llewyn Davis (#9)
4. Miller's Crossing (#8)
3. O Brother Where Art Thou (#6)
2. No Country For Old Men (#2)
1. The Big Lebowski (#1)
Like it? Well, then I'm glad you abide. Don't? Well then you can take it on the heel and toe, and get the Hell outta here! I'm kidding, of course. There's no need for a rumpus. But if you do have any hot takes on my list or feel you require more insightful explanations, feel free to hit me in the comments...
As for where Hail, Caesar! will fall on this illustrious list? Well that's anyone's guess. And since I'm anyone, I'll guess and and say that it will fall somewhere between Raising Arizona and Blood Simple. I know that makes it sound like I've already set some hardened expectations, but trust me I haven't. I just know that I tend to favor Joel and Ethan's more serious work (5 of my top 8), and from what I've heard and seen, their latest effort seems more intent on making you laugh than it does on reinventing the cinematic wheel. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just that it'll probably limit how high I'll allow the film to rise within my popcorn pantheon...
Anomalisa. But that's just because I was sitting alone in a very big room while puppets had sex on a 20 foot screen. Yep, just a dude watching some private big screen puppet pounding. GO AWAY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE!...
I did like Anomalisa, though. Even if I did just set myself up to look the perv in admitting as much. But that's a different story for a different day. Probably a day where someone mentions puppets and/or instances where they've found themselves feeling like Jared from Subway. Not that I have it on any particular authority that he's into erotic puppets, per say. But, ya know. Low hanging perv fruit...
Super Bowl 50
Denver Broncos (+5.5) vs Carolina Panthers + OVER 44
As for that other event, this weekend. I'm going contrarian and taking the points. It's entirely possible that Carolina goes Seattle on Denver and blows them out of the water. But that seems to be the prevailing logic of "join my quare pool, guy" guy, along with the rest of the Teddy-come-quicklys. Which should give any and everyone pause, and send you runnin' for the points. And that's the way that I am choosing to run. To the points. Or, more importantly. Away from the Teds...
Oh, and I'm predicting a shadily-epic finish (though I'll be providing no prophetic details of said shadily-epic finish), with a visually awkward final score. So all of that should be pretty fun, too...
Carolina Panthers 25 Denver Broncos 22
2015-2016 season: 135-117-12 (.534)
All Time: 1405 -1016 -83 (.578)
And that's it, friends. Plenty to do, this weekend. So get out and enjoy! Or stay in and enjoy, as the case may be. Enjoyment, though. That's the key. So make sure you get in plenty of that. Even if it only involves you and a few puppets...
Be good, Teds. And I'll catch you next time...