Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving Picks

Goggle gobble, my damies. No time for small talk, on this most sacred of days. But I still have more picks than you'll need antacid. Which is the acid ants take when they go to Ant Bonaroo. OR maybe it isn't. Either way, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. And good luck!

Thanksgiving Picks
Chicago Bears (+7) @ Detroit Lions + UNDER 58

Dallas Cowboys (-3) vs Philadelphia Eagles + OVER 56

San Francisco 49ers (-1) vs Seattle Seahawks + UNDER 40

Week 13 Picks

New England Patriots (+3) @ Green Bay Packers + UNDER 58.5

Buffalo Bills (-2.5) vs Cleveland Browns

Indianapolis Colts (-9.5) vs Washington Tedskins

Oakland Raiders (+7.5) @ St. Louis Rams + OVER 44

Minnesota Vikings (-2.5) vs Carolina Panthers

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5) vs New Orleans Saints + OVER 54

Cincinnati Bengals (-4) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers + UNDER 45

Jacksonville Jaguars (+3) vs New York Giants

Houston Texans (-6.5) vs Tennessee Titans

Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) @ Atlanta Falcons + OVER 45.5

Kansas City Chiefs (+1.5) vs Denver Broncos

Miami Dolphins (-6) @ New York Jets

Last Week: 6-9-1

Overall: 94-100-1

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(1) Alabama (-9.5) vs (14) Auburn

(3) Florida St. (-7.5) vs Florida

(4) Mississippi St. (-2) @ (8) Mississippi

(6) Ohio St. (-20.5) vs Michigan

Texas Tech (+24.5) vs (7) Baylor

(9) UCLA (-4.5) vs Stanford

(18) Georgia Tech (+13) @ (10) Georgia

(12) Arizona (-2.5) vs (13) Arizona St.

(19) USC (-7) vs Notre Dame

Air Force (+7) vs (21) Colorado St.

South Carolina (+4.5) @ (22) Clemson

(24) Minnesota (+13.5) @ (16) Wisconsin

(24) Louisville (-12.5) vs Kentucky

Utah St. (+9) @ (25) Boise St.

Last Week: 9-2-0

Overall: 64-49-3 (.565)


Friday, November 21, 2014

Week 12 Picks: Orange You Glad There's Still Football?

Soooo my Orange looked terrible last night in getting beat down by Cal in their National TV debut. It happens. And it'll actually make their deep tourney run all that much better, because we'll have all of this growth to fondly reflect upon! At least that's what I've been telling myself since they went into halftime down by 12. And I'm gonna stick with it. This team has talent. I mean, they're no Kentucky. But they've got enough to get the job done...eventually. Just not right now. Unless they blow out Iowa this afternoon. In which case maybe. But probably not...

Yeah, the start of the college basketball season can make for some confusing times. Which is why it's great that we still have football to fall back on for some normalcy. Because as we all know, picking football games is easy and stress free...

And if you believe that, then I've got a Roger Goodell bobblehead that I'd love to show ya. Which is my attempt at a bad joke, because there's no way Goodell would ever be caught dead bobbing his head up and down in approval of ANYTHING!...


Friday, November 14, 2014

Week 11 Picks: FIX THE INTERNET!

So, Kim Kardashian attempted to "break the Internet" with her unique brand of "prosti-tainment". And Al Gore invented the Internet. Presumably through a series of acid flashbacks and a pile of old Atari parts. Knowing these things, I contacTed my good friend, Kevin Tomasso, and asked him if he could use his considerable skills to see if he could work up some photoshop magic with Al's head on Kim's body. And here are. And it's a glorious place to be, really. At the crossroads of creativity, friendship, and the porn collection of a transexual centaur. I just hope your brought a map. You know, so you can get the fuck out of here post haste the second that thing decides to show a global warming presentation on some sort of ass projector system. And that's projected on the ass, for those picturing some sort of raygun like "ass projector"...

So, yeah. That picture is great. My picks have been (relatively) great lately too! So let's get to those before a singing and dancing box of Milk Duds disappears between the cheeks of our friend up there in an attempt to suggest we grab a pre film snack. Because that would just be flat out weird...


Friday, November 07, 2014

Week 10 Picks: ReBUTTle?

So, the Patriots aren't playing this week. And I don't really have any particular topic on which I wish to rant and rail. SO, without further dudes, let's see if I can keep last week's momentum going, and string together my second straight week of wallet filling wisdom. Oh, and they'll be a buttfumble gif in honor of the return of Mark Sanchez. You know, because that needs to be recognized and celebraTed to the fullest extent of the Interweb. And I am here to do my part...