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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Finding Significance In the Sound & the Fury...

Newest Patriot, Albert Haynesworth: He wants your cocktail...FRUIT!
It's funny.  Here we are, in the midst of what will probably go down as the most active 2 weeks in the history of professional sports transactions (NFL free agency & MLB trade deadline), and I find myself in some sort of holding pattern.  Maybe it's the fact that my brain is still having trouble adjusting after working the morning news the past 3 days, I don't know.  Or maybe it's just that there's so much going on, that I'd rather wait for things to settle before I bust out the ole analysis stick.  Most likely it's a combination of the two, but that doesn't even really matter.  What matters, is that I've decided that instead of doing my usual thing this week, I'm going to take a week off, and let all the dominoes come to rest before I start sifting through the rubble.  Sounds like a cop out, I know, or at the very least, a poor mishmash of a few metaphors, but it's just more that I've got myself in sort of a tough position, time wise, and I've decided it's more prudent to wait things out than to jump right in.  Which is more my style, anyway, as a lot of you probably already know...

So, you wanna know who I think "won" in the aftermath of the NFL lockout?  What I think of what the Red Sox and Patriots did or didn't do during this unprecedented period of player movement?  Well, I'll have it all for ya.  Just not this week.  I know it probably breaks your heart, but that's just the way it has to be...

And that's that.  So get out there, kids, and enjoy.  Not just this great time in two of the sports most of us love  , but the final week of the greatest month that Summer, and arguably the year, has to offer, too.  It's just a great time to be a sports fan, right now, and the last thing I'd wanna do is ruin that with some half-assed analysis based on stuff that's frantically flying across the news wire.  Consider it a two part gift.  This time around, I free you up to go live you some life.  And next week, I hit you with the real truth, with a wide array of facts and perspective at mys disposal.  Pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.  And judging by the fact that you found your way to my site, I'm pretty sure you just did...

OK, friends.  Soak it all up, and we'll convene here again next week.  It's guaranteed to be a scene, man.  And while I'm not 100% sure yet, you may want to remember to bring something that protects you're eyes.  Just sayin'.  Consider yourselves having been given a "heads up"...

Catch you on the flipman...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>  

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Smokin' Ells & The Sports Talk Shuffle...


Hmmm, let's see.  The Sox are in 1st place and streaking towards the deadline, there's a full on sports radio war going on in Boston, and the world's biggest poker tournament has finally whittled it's way down to the final nine.  Oh, and a sport called "football" appears to be back in the picture.  Yeah, I'd say that's enough fuel for this fire.  And if it's not, I'm sure I'll think of somethin'.  Maybe I'll just rip The Social Network again.  That was fun.  Or maybe I'll take another shot at the guy who, 3 months ago, said the city of Boston might not see another Championship for quite some time, and is now saying Sox fans were wrong last year when they criticized Jacoby Ellsbury.  Yeah, that's more relevant. I'll probably end up going with that.  Could also en up going with the story of the guys who called the cops on themselves because they were doing too much Meth, too, though.  So I guess you'll have to hang around to find out...

Get your read on, pimps.  And enjoy...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

MLB All Star Break: Baseball & The Book...


What if I told you there was a movie coming out about the '07-'08 Patriots, that ends with them going undefeated and winning the Super Bowl?  And how about if I said there is a country out there where "licensed" fans are given designated areas where they're allowed to argue sports with each other to their hearts content?  Well, get ready, because that's exactly what I'm about to tell you.  That, and a few baseball notes, including what I would have done with Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit...

So get your read on, pimps.  And quickly, before baseball starts up again...

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Red Sox Update: These Are the Breaks...


OK, so maybe the NFL didn't end their lockout this past weekend.  Hmmmm.  So much for my "inside source", huh?  Or should I say,  former "inside source", and current "Ted of the Week".  But that's neither here nor there.  Especially since a wise man once told me that all you really need to establish and maintain at least the illusion of credibility, is for just one out of every 3 things you say to be true (which shadily enough, has proven to be eerily accurate advice that can be very dangerous in the wrong hands).  And seeing as I nailed the fact last week that John Lackey was still a mess despite an encouraging outing against the Phillies, I figure I've built up enough good will that I may just throw a few unnecessary predictions out there this week, more or less just because I can.  I mean,  John Lackey still sucks, right?  Exactly.  So there's my one thing that's true.  The rest?  Well, that's for you to decide.  Although you know what?  That's how it usually is, anyway...

But that's how I've always liked to operate.  I know I'm fiercely opinionated, but I like to think while half of this is just getting my opinion out there, the other half is providing a fairly unique and valuable service.  Half whistle blower, half gate keeper, and half PinkHat assassin.  That's the service I provide.  More or less, I just try to keep peeps accountable, and if I can make you laugh a little along the way with a few jokes about the brothers Penus Williams or the finer points of Pootie Tang, well then that works, too...

So why bring this up?  Well I figured you can never throw your mission statement out there too many times, and what better time to trot that ole sucker out there then right around the All Star Break.  I figure, Major League Baseball is goin' on a little vacation, I'm going on a little vacation (stress "little"), so why not use this landmark-type occasion to give any new readers the heads up, and remind all the loyal readers why exactly it is that they just can't get enough?  And that's what I've done.  So now with all that house keeping out of the way, it's time to get down to business...
Certified SKANK...allegedly

This week, I've got the obligatory notes on the M*A*S*H unit that is the Boston Red Sox, a look at Roger Clemens' latest trip to court, and a few other juicy items that may or may not have to do with baseball. OK, they do, but I promise there's another NFL prediction in there, too, and if you're lucky, maybe even a pretty lady or a snappy little video (probably not, sorry).  Nothing about Casey Anthony, though.  Although, if you're looking for silver lining in that situation, it's gotta be that it's good to see that poor people have just as good a chance of getting off as rich people do, right?  That's an encouraging sign, I think?  Ya know, equality and whatnot.  Then again, it also makes me wonder if this is all just a result what happens because all of us smarties are too clever to get trapped into even serving on a jury.  Hmmmm.  I'll have to get back to you kids on that one...

And while I think that over, why don't you avoid the jury duty that is your job, your life, or whatever it is you're doing now, and take a look at this week's post.  It's gotta be better than stressin' over a child killing skank.  Sorry, an alleged child killing skank.  Wanna make sure I'm politically correct here...

OK, let's do this thing...