Friday, October 20, 2017

2017 Week 7 Picks

Do you like baseball? Are you a fan of The Simpsons? Do you like documentaries? How about mockumentaries? Well, my fellow nerd. If you answered yes to at least 2 out of 4 of those questions, then boy do I have a treat for you! This Sunday, after the 1 o'clock football games, FOX is airing a mockumentary special based on the iconically magnificent Simpsons' episode, 'Homer at the Bat'...

So set your DVR. That way, you can watch football all day long, and then cap your day off with a little bit of sports relaTed humor. OR, you can just record it, and then stare at it in your saved shows folder for a few months until you forget what it was and delete it. Pretty sure that actually counts as having 'watched it' these days, anyway...

Either way, you'll be good to go. So long as you remember to TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS!


Week 7 Picks

New England Patriots (-3) vs Atlanta Falcons

Carolina Panthers (-3) @ Chicago Bears

Tennessee Titans (-5.5) @ Cleveland Browns

Green Bay Packers (+4) vs New Orleans Saints

Indianapolis Colts (+3) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

Baltimore Ravens (+5.5) @ Minnesota Vikings

 Buffalo Bills (-3) vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Arizona Cardinals (+3.5) @ LA Rams

Miami Dolphins (-3) vs New York Jets

San Francisco 49ers (+6) vs Dallas Cowboys

Pittsburgh Steelers (-4.5) vs Cincinnati Bengals

LA Chargers (+1.5) vs Denver Broncos

New York Giants (+4.5) vs Seattle Seahawks

Philadelphia Eagles (-4.5) vs Washington Tedskins

Last Week: 5-8-0

Overall: 38-46-3 (.454)

ALL TIME: 1579-1170-96 (.570)

Top 25 Picks

(2) Penn St. (-9.5) vs (19) Michigan

(4) TCU (-38.5) vs Kansas

(5) Wisconsin (-24.5) vs Maryland

Syracuse (+17) @ (8) Miami

Kansas St. (+14) vs (9) Oklahoma

Texas (+7) vs (10) Oklahoma St.

(13) Notre Dame (-3) vs (11) USC

(15) Washington St. (-10) vs Colorado

(18) Michigan St. (-6.5) vs Indiana

Navy (+7.5) vs (20) UCF

Baylor (+9.5) vs (23) West Virginia

Mississippi (+7) vs (24) LSU

Last Week: 8-5-0

Overall: 32-29-2 (.524)

ALL TIME: 850-609-34 (.581)

Friday, October 13, 2017

2017 Week 6 Picks

Proof that, even while sitting, you can still show respect
for both flag and country. (via US Air Force vet @alysia_magen)
Week 6 Picks

New York Jets (+9.5) vs New England Patriots

Atlanta Falcons (-12.5) vs Miami Dolphins

Baltimore Ravens (-5) vs Chicago Bears

Houston Texans (-7.5) vs Cleveland Browns

San Francisco 49ers (+11) @ Washington Tedskins

Green Bay Packers (-3) @ Minnesota Vikings

Detroit Lions (+5.5) @ New Orleans Saints

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1.5) @ Arizona Cardinals

Jacksonville Jaguars (-1) vs LA Rams

Pittsburgh Steelers (+4.5) @ Kansas City Chiefs

LA Chargers (+4) @ Oakland Raiders

Denver Broncos (-11.5) vs New York Giants

Indianapolis Colts (+7.5) @ Tennessee Titans

Last Week: 6-7-0

Overall: 33-37-3 (.473)

ALL TIME: 1574-1162-96 (.573)

Top 25 Picks

Syracuse (+23.5) vs (2) Clemson

(6) TCU (-6.5) @ Kansas St.

(7) Wisconsin (-17) vs Purdue

Nebraska (+24.5) vs (9) Ohio St.

LSU (+7) vs (10) Auburn

Georgia Tech (+6.5) @ (11) Miami

Texas (+9) vs (12) Oklahoma (Dallas)

(13) USC (-12) vs Utah

(17) Michigan (-7.5) @ Indiana

(18) South Florida (-23.5) vs Cincinnati

(19) San Diego St. (-6.5) vs Boise St.

(23) Stanford (-10) vs Oregon

Memphis (-2.5) vs (25) Navy

Last Week: 6-5-1

Overall: 24-24-2 (.500)

ALL TIME: 842-604-34 (.580)


Friday, October 06, 2017

2017 Week 5 Picks

Is it me? Or does David Andrews, wandering around last night without his helmet, bear a striking resemblance to a drunken Mike Napoli, wandering the streets of Boston after the Red Sox won the 2013 World Series? Because that's what comes to mind for me. Well, that. And the fact that a large, confused, and disheveled man seems to appropriately embody my picks so far thru four weeks of the season...

But this week? This week, I'm going to FIND. MY. HELMET! Or get my beard knocked off tryin...


Week 5 Picks

Cincinnati Bengals (-3) vs Buffalo Bills

Cleveland Browns (+1.5) vs New York Jets

Detroit Lions (-2.5) vs Carolina Panthers

Indianapolis Colts (-1.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

New York Giants (-3) vs LA Chargers

Miami Dolphins (-1) vs Tennessee Titans

Arizona Cardinals (+6.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Pittsburgh Steelers (-7.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

LA Rams (pick) vs Seattle Seahawks

Baltimore Ravens (+3) @ Oakland Raiders

Green Bay Packers (+3) @ Dallas Cowboys

Houston Texans (+2) vs Kansas City Chiefs

Chicago Bears (+3.5) vs Minnesota Vikings

Last Week: 7-8-0

Overall: 27-30-3 (.475)

ALL TIME: 1568-1155-96 (.573)

Image result for tom petty
RIP Tom Petty. Another Traveling Wilbury who was taken too soon.
Top 25 Picks

Texas A&M (+26.5) vs (1) Alabama

(2) Clemson (-21.5) vs Wake Forest

Northwestern (+13.5) vs (4) Penn St.

(5) Georgia (-17.5) @ Vanderbilt

(7) Michigan (-10.5) vs Michigan St.

Nebraska (+11.5) vs (9) Wisconsin

(11) Washington St. (-2.5) @ Oregon

(12) Auburn (-21) vs Mississippi

Florida St. (+3) vs (13) Miami

(19) San Diego St. (-9.5) @ UNLV

(20) Utah (+4) vs Stanford

(21) Florida (+1.5) vs LSU

Last Week: 6-4-0

Overall: 18-19-1 (.487)

ALL TIME: 836-599-33 (.581)

Friday, September 29, 2017

2017 Week 4 Picks

So, last week I mocked Tom Brady and took a shot at Kylie Jenner. The result? I had my worst week picking games in years, if not in my history (including an 0-7(!) mark for my picks on The Gresh Show). AND news broke that Kylie was probably knocked up. Coincidence?! Absolutely! But just in case it wasn't a coincidence, allow me to attempt to balance out the cosmic karma that did me dirty. So here:

Tom Brady is great. The science behind his book is solid. And if you follow Tom's advice, you too can live forever and marry a Brazilian supermodel. As for Kylie? She definitely isn't having a baby in the hopes of garnering more likes on the various social networks. And she definitely won't leverage the opportunity into a customized line of designer diapers and baby fashion accessories. OR use her situation as a way to orchestrate a meteoric rise to power within the influential MILF community. She's normal, like you and me. And she should be treated as such.

OK, there. Now I should be good to go. And go I shall!


Week 4 Picks

New England Patriots (-8.5) vs Carolina Panthers

New Orleans Saints (-3) vs Miami Dolphins (London)

Atlanta Falcons (-8) vs Buffalo Bills

Baltimore Ravens (+3) vs Pittsburgh Steelers

 Cincinnati Bengals (-3) @ Cleveland Browns

Dallas Cowboys (-6) vs LA Rams

Houston Texans (+2) vs Tennessee Titans

Minnesota Vikings (-1.5) vs Detroit Lions

New York Jets (+3.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

San Francisco 49ers (+6.5) @ Arizona Cardinals

LA Chargers (-1.5) vs Philadelphia Eagles

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3) vs New York Giants

Denver Broncos (-2.5) vs Oakland Raiders

Indianapolis Colts (+13) @ Seattle Seahawks

Washington Tedskins (+7.5) @ Kansas City Chiefs

Last Week: 6-9-0

Overall: 20-22-3 (.478)

ALL TIME: 1561-1147-96 (.574)

Top 25 Picks

(1) Alabama (-27) vs Mississippi

(12) Virginia Tech (+7.5) vs (2) Clemson

(4) Penn St. (-18) vs Indiana

Tennessee (+8.5) vs (7) Georgia

(10) Wisconsin (-14.5) vs Northwestern

(13) Auburn (-9) vs (24) Mississippi St.

Texas Tech (+10.5) vs (15) Oklahoma St.

(19) San Diego St. (-10) vs Northern Illinois

(21) Florida (-9) vs Vanderbilt

Troy (+20.5) vs (25) LSU

Last Week: 4-7-1

Overall: 12-15-1 (.446)

ALL TIME: 830-595-33 (.581)