Tuesday, January 28, 2014

College Hoops Top 25 (1/28)

So, have you been watching Rick and Morty? The new animated comedy on Adult Swim? No? Well, it's like Back to the Future on Meth, so you should totally give it a look. New episodes Monday night at 1030 and available all over the place on various Interweb viewers and digital recording boxes. And no, I don't work for this show or have a personal financial stake in it's existence. I just want people to watch so it doesn't get cancelled like Unsupervised, another animated show I thought was the best thing since sliced Ted...

So watch it, Morty. It'll cure what ails ya. And to get you in the mood, I'll even sprinkle in a reference or two throughout this week's Top 25. So there's that. Oh, and make sure to check back on Friday, because I'll have all sorts of Super Bowl prop bet goodness for ya. And you're gonna wanna check all that out, Morty. It's gonna be good...

Now enjoy, Morty. And feel confident in knowing that if you follow my advice, you'll soon realize why I'm saying 'Morty' so much, Morty...

College Hoops Top 25

1. Michigan St. (18-2) 1

"I'm Mr. Meseeks, look at me!"

See that blue guy, up there? He's a Meseeks. You press the button, he appears, performs the simple task of which you command, and then disappears, ceasing to exist. I'd ask my Mr. Meseeks to bring Adreian Payne back to the Michigan St. Spartans. Because with Payne in the game, they're still the best in the nation. And seeing as I do expect him to return at some point, I'll continue to play the devil's advocate and keep what I believe is the nation's most talented team, and most importantly, the one best equipped for making a deep run, in my top spot...

2. Syracuse (19-0) 2

It would have been easy for me to slide my Orange into the top spot after Michigan clipped MSU in East Lansing. But easy isn't fun. That, and I still wouldn't take Syracuse over a healthy Michigan St. in a neutral setting. I'd take them over Arizona, because I think they're defense can stifle teams that really mostly on athleticism. But I still think Sparty has the best mix of talent and experience of any squad in the country. And it'll take a major road win for me to start thinking that my Orange can really take their crown...

Oh, and #BEATDUKE. Because that shit is on, now. Like Kong Donkman. And you know this...MAN!!!

3. Arizona (20-0) 3

4. Kansas (15-4) 4

5. Florida (17-2) 8

6. Duke (17-4) 13

7. Pittsburgh (18-3) 5

"You simulated my gradson's genitalia?! You diabolical sons of bitches!"

OK, that Rick and Morty quote really has nothing to do with anything. But I figured I had to get that theme back on track. That's a line Rick says to an alien scam artist voiced by David Cross, by the way...

As for Duke and Pittsburgh, the Devils beating Pitt at the Zoo was one of the more impressive wins I've seen all season. Not only did the Devils get scoring from other than Parker and Hood (freaking Dre Dawkins), but they out rebounded a notoriously physical Panther interior 36 to 32. If Duke can consistently rebound and get scoring from more than their big 2, then they're gonna be dangerous. Final Four dangerous. We'll see how that consistency plays this weekend in the Carrier Dome, though. They play close there, then it should be apparent they've turned a corner. If not, it may be back to the drawing board for a team that's 5-0 since Coach K said "Judge us from here on..."...

8. Wisconsin (17-3) 6

9. Wichita St. (21-0) 7

10. St. Louis (18-2) 11

11. Kentucky (15-4) 14

12. Louisville (17-3) 16

13. Creighton (17-3) 25

In "Rick Potion #9", Rick gives Morty a gel that will immediately make someone love you forever if you rub it on them. Naturally, shit hits the fan and the entire universe falls into some sort of praying mantis zombie apocalypse. But that's neither here nor there. The reference point here, is that the entire Blue Jay team seems to have been dipped in some sort of elixir that makes you unconsciously wet from downtown. Actually, from everywhere. As a team. And again, keep that in mind. This is a team, not one dude. As a team, Creighton shoots 49% from 2, 43% from 3 and 76% from the line. That's just ridiculous, right there. And while it would be easy to blame a magical potion, it probably has more to do with the fact that they're averaging an NCAA best 18.6 assists per game. That's ball movement, and that's finding the open man...who usually happens to be a tall white guy, 4 feet behind the 3 point line...

They're hot as Hell right now, there's no denying it. And they should only struggle with teams that have enough length and speed to slow down and disrupt their efficient offense. AKA Syracuse. Probably in the Elite 8. OH! Yeah, that's right. I went January...

14. Michigan (15-4) 21

That was a huge win for Michigan over Michigan St., whether Payne was in the lineup or not. Nik Stauskas has really turned it on in B1G10 play, too. I've never been a huge fan of his, and I still don't think he's a good enough featured player to really lead a team anywhere, but there's no denying the way he's been able to efficiently score against some of the nation's tougher defenses...

15. Iowa (16-4) 10

16. San Diego St. (18-1) 9

"Great adventure, Morty. Now we're going to Giant Prison. When someone drops the soap in the shower, it's going to snap our spines. It'll be real easy to rape us then, Morty."

The more I see of SDSU, the more I feel that this is how they're season is eventually going to end. Not getting lifelessly raped by a Giant inmate. But you see what I'm saying. They just can't score enough for my liking. And let's face it. Their conference's tourney track record of late isn't exactly helping their cause...

17. Oklahoma St. (16-4) 12

18. Oklahoma (17-4) NR

Does it make me racist that my first thought when I saw Ryan Spangler was that he should somehow be playing for West Virginia? No? OK, good. Because it's mostly the arm tat. Just givin' off that Pittsnogle vibe, Morty. Meh, just had to cram that in there. Seeing as this was my last blurb in the Top 25. Spangler's good, though. One of the few players in the country averaging double digit rebounds (10.8), and when he gets to scoring like he did last night, the Sooners are tough to beat. At least in their own building. Where high energy guys like Spangler seem to thrive, Morty...

19. Villanova (17-2) 17

20. Memphis (15-4) 15

21. UMASS (17-2) 20

22. Gonzaga (18-3) 19

23. Iowa St. (15-3) 24

24. Ohio St. (16-4) 23  

25. Cincinnati (19-2) NR

just missed: UCONN; UCLA; Texas; Harvard; New Mexico; Purdue; George Washington

dropped: (18) Kansas St.; (22) Minnesota

What To Watch This Week
Michigan St. @ Iowa
West Virginia @ Baylor
Virginia @ Notre Dame

Arizona @ Stanford
Iowa St. @ Kansas
Richmond @ St. Louis
Miami @ Maryland
Arizona St. @ Cal

Cincinnati @ Louisville
Florida @ Mississippi St.
Purdue @ Michigan
UCLA @ Oregon

Manhattan @ Iona

Duke @ Syracuse
Ohio St. @ Wisconsin
Baylor @ Oklahoma St.
Oklahoma @ Iowa St.
Michigan St. @ Georgetown
Arizona @ Cal
Clemson @ Florida St.
St. Mary's @ BYU

Virginia @ Pitt
Michigan @ Indiana
UCLA @ Oregon St.

Notre Dame @ Syracuse
Xavier @ Villanova
Iowa St. @ Oklahoma St.

OK, so there ya go. Now go watch Rick and Morty, and I'll catch you Friday for some Super Bowl goodness. Until then, Teds. Be good...



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