Friday, October 05, 2012

NFL Week 5 Picks: V You Later...

Ladies and gentlemen, we officially live in a world where Bobby Valentine is no longer the coach of the Boston Red Sox. And doesn't that just make you feel so much better about things? No? Well good, because it shouldn't. Just like in the case of the trade with the Dodgers, the firing of Bobby V is only the first step in a process that this ownership and management team will need to take in order to properly right that ship...

Lest we forget, it's the ownership and their tactics that are still the problem here. It's going to become hard to remember that between the Bobby V fallout, the Ortiz negotiations and the search for a new manager. But it was the firm belief of nearly ALL of Red Sox Nation, just a few months ago, that it was the men upstairs that were the main reasons for the dysfunctional product being put on the field. And I still believe that's the case.  So, until they string together a bunch of what can be viewed as wise and successful moves, I'll continue to watch them with a critical eye. Remember. Just because they got rid of the shitty waiter, doesn't mean the meal is going to be any better. It's still the same chef. And if that chef continues to cook with PinkHats and ceremonial bricks, then we as fans might be eating shit for a pretty long time. Even if the new waiter is more to our liking...

But hey, baseball is over. Right? Or maybe that's just here in Massachusetts. Either way, it's time to get down to the business of the real national past times. Making money, and watching football. So let's do that. Besides, we can talk about the MLB playoffs next week. Which should be right around the time the first quirky stories start to leak out about Bobby V. Likely somethin' about how he used to sacrifice goats in the locker room and dance around naked and covered in their blood. Yeah, should be good times. No city can run a man out of town quite like Boston, and I for one am very much looking forward to the fallout. But again, that's for another day. For today, let's pick some winners...

Week 5 Picks

Denver Broncos (+7) @ New England Patriots

Per usual, I'll start with the Patriots. And the long awaited return to Foxborough of Peyton Manning. Sure, his jersey may have changed. But that doesn't at all take away for the drama and hype surrounding a meeting between the two best quarterbacks of their generation...

The Pats are great at home, and the Broncos have proven to be inconsistent, but I feel the play here is to lay the 7 points. I like the Patriots to win, but there are just too many match ups I feel favor the Broncos for me to feel comfortable taking New England at such a hefty number. Their TEs against our LBs, for one. Manning knows how to utilize his interior receivers, and has always found a way to burn the Patriots with them in the past...

New England should walk away with the victory, but expect something in the 28-24 range. Could be that I'm  predicting that because that type of close game is what I want to see from these two future Hall of Famers, but either way. That's what I see goin' down...

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5) vs Philadelphia Eagles

Seattle Seahawks (+3) @ Carolina Panthers

While the real Bill Simmons was busy churning out the uninteresting and ultimately poorly researched 30 for 30 documentary, Broke, Nazi Bill Simmons was busy picking the Steelers as this week's "lock". And while I swore off Nazi Bill Simmons after he steered me wrong in week 4, I already had the Steelers as my top pick of the week, so I figured I'd toss that in there. What can I say? A chance to rip on Bill Simmons and point out yet another example of lazy and arrogant journalism by ESPN? Yes please...

Oh, and since I'm going against my own advice and siding with "NBS", I figured I'd also go against my traditional judgement and take the Seahawks on the road. Were they "giving" points, I'd never consider it. But playing a banged up Carolina squad whose coach Nazi Bill refers to as "that filthy immigrant Ron Rivera", I'll take my chances with the free field goal...

San Francisco 49ers (-10) vs Buffalo Bills

Double digit point spreads are dangerous, but so are the San Francisco 49ers. Especially now that they're proving how many different ways they can beat you with the run. And if we learned anything, last week. It's that the Buffalo Bills are prone to having the ball run right down their throat. Look for the Niners to get as many as 4 ball carriers involved, much to fantasy chagrin, and run all over the hapless Bills rush defense. That will get them an early lead, allow them to control the clock, and put Ryan Fitzpatrick in the unenviable position of trying to put up points against that vaunted defense. Should be a cake walk. And a delicious cake walk, at that...

Washington Redskins (+3) vs Atlanta Falcons

I'm a believer that the Falcons are one of the best teams in the NFL, I truly am. But I'm also a believer in numbers and trends. Represented in this instance by the fact that the Redskins are great at running the bean, and the Falcons suck at stopping it. That, combined with the fact they're at home was more than enough incentive for me to ride with RG and the free 3. You see what I did there? Yeah, you seen it...

Indianapolis Colts (+7) vs Green Bay Packers

The upset special of the week could very well be in Indianapolis, where the suddenly competent Colts offense gears up for a shoot out with the always dangerous Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. Indy is coming off their bye and should be well enough prepared to go pass for pass with the Packers and keep this one close coming down to the final seconds. Could it be the first signature win in the career of one, Andrew Luck? We'll have to wait and see. But if you're looking for a big dog this week that just might have the chance to pull off the major upset, I'd peg this as your best shot...

I'll be honest. I didn't care for many games this week at all. Which is to say, stay away from pretty much all of them at all costs. Except maybe the Cincy game. They look like a pretty good bet. Then again, it would probably just pain me to know I had money involved in a game determined by Cincinnati and Miami. So yeah, stay away from that one, too. Just don't bet this week. OR just bet the house on the Niners to win. Either way...

Cincinnati Bengals (-3.5) vs Miami Dolphins

Baltimore Ravens (-6) @ Kansas City Chiefs

Cleveland Browns (+10) @ New York Giants

Chicago Bears (-4.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Tennessee Titans (+5.5) @ Minnesota Vikings

New Orleans Saints (-3.5) vs San Diego Chargers

Monday Night

Houston Texans (-8) vs New York Jets

I'm really hoping this will be a hilarious Texans blowout, but in all likelihood it will go down like this...

1) Mark Sanchez dies on the field. Not important how.

2) Tim Tebow comes on the field and brings Mark Sanchez back to life. He then heals Matt Schaub's ear, just as a sign of good faith.

3) Tebow and Sanchez remain in the game together, and proceed to run roughshod over the Texans defense with all sorts of trick plays.

4) In wake of their victory, they announce that their new offense will be called the "SanBow", to mixed racial reviews.

Last Week: 10-6-1

Overall: 40-30-3 (.569)

Twitter Picks: 9-2-0 (.818)

OK, so last week wasn't the best. And this year's record leaves a lot to be desired. But much like the little lady pictured above, I'm expecting big things are headed my way. Hopefully not the same big things that are headed her way, because that would be gross. But I'm sure both will involve large groups of men and a few video cameras. Wait...

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(23) Washington (+24) @ (2) Oregon

(3) Florida St. (-14.5) @ NC State

(10) Florida (+2.5) vs (4) LSU

(6) South Carolina (-2) vs (5) Georgia

(8) West Virginia (+6.5) @ (11) Texas

(9) Notre Dame (-13) vs Miami

(12) Ohio St. (-3.5) vs (21) Nebraska

(14) Oregon St. (-13) vs Washington St.

(17) Oklahoma (-5.5) @ Texas Tech

(18) Stanford (-9) vs Arizona

Kentucky (+10) vs (20) Mississippi St.

(22) Rutgers (-7.5) vs UCONN

(24) Northwestern (+3) @ Penn St.

(25) UCLA (-2.5) @ California

Last Week: 3-4-0

Overall: 21-19-0 (.525)

Good luck this weekend, friends. And I'll catch you next time. Hope you enjoyed...

Teddy Williams...



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