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Thursday, December 24, 2015

Week 16 Picks: Poe! Poe! Poe! Merrrrrry Sheedmas!...



Merry merry, my damies! A very Merry Christmas and/or a happy holidays to you and yours. My gift to you? It's that video up there of Rasheed Wallace (and associates) singing Jingle Bells! So, yeah. You're welcome. Oh, and I even threw in a picture of Christmas Poe Dameron! So, yeah. Now you owe me. But we can discuss the ways in which you can repay me in 2016...

Enjoy the festivities, friends! And I'll catch you in the new year!...

Week 16 Picks
New York Jets (+3.5) vs New England Patriots + UNDER 46

Oakland Raiders (-5) vs San Diego Chargers

Washington Tedskins (+3.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Carolina Panthers (-7) @ Atlanta Falcons

Dallas Cowboys (+6) @ Buffalo Bills

Detroit Lions (-7.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

Houston Texans (-3.5) @ Tennessee Titans

Kansas City Chiefs (-11) vs Cleveland Browns

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3) vs Chicago Bears

Indianapolis Colts (+2.5) @ Miami Dolphins

Baltimore Ravens (+10.5) vs Pittsburgh Steelers

New Orleans Saints (-3) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

Arizona Cardinals (-4.5) vs Green Bay Packers

St. Louis Rams (+13.5) @ Seattle Seahawks

Minnesota Vikings (-4) vs New York Giants

Denver Broncos (-3.5) vs Cincinnati Bengals


Last Week: 9-4-2

Overall: 110-97-8 (.530)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, December 18, 2015

Week 15 Picks: Wide Awake...


So I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens, last night. Which is to say, I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens, last night. But the screening was delayed for 35 minutes due to some issue with the film's formatting. Then, to satisfy my alleged inconvenience, I was provided with 3(?!) free passes to a future film. And then I saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens. And you know what? It was pretty damn good...

I won't bother reviewing it here, as the abundance of spoilers/plot twists makes that effort a tad bit futile. That, and it's already been reviewed 6 ways from Sunday. But I will recommend that you go see it. It's true to the franchise, which is great. And for a science fiction/fantasy film especially, it has some stellar acting performances (Oscar Isaac, Daisy Ridley, and John Boyega, mostly. Though the holdovers more than hold their own). It's definitely the most I've ever laughed during a Star Wars movie, too. Which is always a bonus. Especially for a film like Star Wars, where you're gonna get a more active and involved viewing audience than at your typical screening. Something about everyone excitedly laughing in unison. Makes for a good time...

So instead of watching the sloppy, listless, and poorly officiaTed football this weekend, go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. You should bet on those sloppy, listless and poorly officaTEd games before you do, by utilizing the advice below. But if you're going to watch anything, I advise it be Star Wars. OR anything else that's not the game involving your home team, really. But especially Star Wars...or Fargo, if you can't bring yourself to get off the couch. Wow, what a finale. But that's a different story for a different day...

Good luck, my damies. And may the force be with you...and not your bookie. Which rhymes with wookie. Because Star Wars...


Week 15 Picks
New England Patriots (-14) vs Tennessee Titans

New York Jets (-3) @ Dallas Cowboys

Minnesota Vikings (-5.5) vs Chicago Bears

New York Giants (+5) vs Carolina Panthers

Washington Tedskins (+1) vs Buffalo Bills

Jacksonville Jaguars (-3) vs Atlanta Falcons

Kansas City Chiefs (-7) @ Baltimore Ravens

Houston Texans (+2.5) @ Indianapolis Colts

Oakland Raiders (+4.5) vs Green Bay Packers

Seattle Seahawks (-14.5) vs Cleveland Browns

Denver Broncos (+7) @ Pittsburgh Steelers

San Diego Chargers (-1) vs Miami Dolphins

San Francisco 49ers (+7.5) vs Cincinnati Bengals

Arizona Cardinals (-3) @ Philadelphia Eagles

New Orleans Saints (-2.5) vs Detroit Lions


Last Week: 10-6-0

Overall: 101-93-6 (.520)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, December 11, 2015

Week 14 Picks: Lo And Behold...


Greetings, my damies! No scorching hot takes this week, I'm afraid. Just picks...and a picture from the latest Lindsay Lohan photoshoot. Because, no. She's not dead...yet. And neither am I! With this week's picks helpfully serving as proof...

Good luck, Teds. And I'll catch you next time...


Week 14 Picks
New England Patriots (-3.5) @ Houston Texans

Pittsburgh Steelers (+3) @ Cincinnati Bengals

San Francisco 49ers (+1.5) @ Cleveland Browns

Chicago Bears (-3.5) vs Washington Tedskins

Kansas City Chiefs (-10) vs San Diego Chargers

Detroit Lions (-2.5) @ St. Louis Rams

New York Jets (-7) vs Tennessee Titans

Philadelphia Eagles (+1.5) vs Buffalo Bills

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) vs New Orleans Saints

Jacksonville Jaguars (pick) vs Indianapolis Colts

Seattle Seahawks (-9.5) @ Baltimore Ravens

Carolina Panthers (-8.5) vs Atlanta Falcons

Denver Broncos (-7.5) vs Oakland Raiders

Green Bay Packers (-7) vs Dallas Cowboys

Miami Dolphins (+2.5) vs New York Giants


Last Week: 7-10-0

Overall: 91-87-6 (.511)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, December 04, 2015

Week 13 Picks: My Two Daves...


Ladies and gentleman, I have thoughts and comments regarding the Red Sox and their acquisition of David Price. Actually, it's more of a question. And that question is this:

Is it racist for me to want to wish David Price luck by saying "Godspeed, you black emperor!"? Give that a think while you're mulling over this week's picks, and get back to me. OR don't, and I'll just assume it's the jump off and start designing the t-shirts. So don't...

No, but seriously. Congratulations to Dave Dombrowski for outbidding all other suitors by $30 million in order to convince a guy that doesn't want to play in Boston, to play in Boston. I'm sure David Price will adjust masterfully, pitch very well in the postseason, and not at all become the CC Sabathia of the Back Bay. BB Sabathia, if you will. Which you shouldn't...

Yes, Price has a great regular season track record. And yes, it's never a "bad deal" when you didn't have to give up any prospects (it's not my money, guy kid). But you'll have to excuse me for not celebrating the impending arrival of a guy who:

A) has shown at every turn that he probably won't adapt well to this market
B) is ONLY coming here for the money
C) is on the WRONG side of 30 (paging John Henry)
AND
D) is best known for gas-canning it up come playoff time (career ERA of 5.12 over 63 IP. 6.17 ERA in 2015)


I guess it's a good sign that the ownership group is actually letting Dombrowksi do his thing (or at least do this thing). So there's always that. And I like that he aggressively pursued who he wanted. So there's always that, too. I just think that there's every indication that this particular player may not be a perfect fit for this particular situation. And a $30+ mil a year player should fit like a glove. Whereas this has all the earmarks of a square peg being forced into a round hole...

Hey, I hope I'm wrong. I hope Price is great, and doesn't let the media (or David Ortiz) knock him off his game. I hope the front office is able to manage the opt-out after year 3 effectively (no chance in Hell), and it serves as a carrot instead of an anchor. And I hope that this is only the latest in a line of successful Dave Dombrowski deals that I don't like or understand. I don't think that it will, and I'm fairly confident that they won't (paging BB Sabathia). But I've enjoyed being wrong before, and I'm not averse to trying it again...

And I know I sound like a spoiled killjoy (Old Rick!!!!), picking nits with my scorching hot take. But rest assured, I'm not one of those Teds that will root against a guy on my own team just because I didn't like the circumstances from whence he came. I mean, this isn't JD Drew we're talking about. I just don't like the deal, for the reasons I've laid out. And I do like colorfully going on the record. So here we are...

I wish Dombrowksi and Price the best of luck, though. As we enter an era that I'm tentatively calling 'The Dawn of the Daves'. And here's to hoping they won't RUIN MY SUMMAH!!!...    

Now I'll wish you some good luck before bestowing on you this week's prophetic picks. So Ted speed, you (probably) white emperors! And I'll catch you next week...  


Week 13 Picks

New England Patriots (-10) vs Philadelphia Eagles

Houston Texans (+3) @ Buffalo Bills

Chicago Bears (-6.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

Cincinnati Bengals (-7) @ Cleveland Browns

Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5) @ Tennessee Titans

St. Louis Rams (+6.5) vs Arizona Cardinals

Baltimore Ravens (+4.5) @ Miami Dolphins

Minnesota Vikings (pick) vs Seattle Seahawks

New York Giants (+3.5) vs New York Jets

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1) vs Atlanta Falcons

Oakland Raiders (+3.5) vs Kansas City Chiefs

Denver Broncos (-4) vs San Diego Chargers

Carolina Panthers (-7) @ New Orleans Saints

Indianapolis Colts (+10) @ Pittsburgh Steelers + UNDER 49

Washington Tedskins (-4.5) vs Dallas Cowboys + OVER 42


Thanksgiving: 2-4-0

Overall: 84-77-6 (.521)




NCAA Top 25 Picks

(1) Clemson (-5) vs (8) North Carolina

(2) Alabama (-17) vs (18) Florida

(4) Iowa (+3.5) vs (5) Michigan St.

(24) USC (+4.5) vs (7) Stanford

(12) Baylor (-20.5) vs Texas

(17) Houston (-6.5) vs (20) Temple


Overall: 60-60-1 (.500)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Thanksgiving Picks: Happy Tedsgiving!...


Gobble gobble, my damies! I've got a Tedsgiving 6-pack of picks for ya. But before I unleash that Turducken of a beast, just a friendly reminder. In order to ensure that you have as pleasurable a Thanksgiving as humanly possible, refrain from starting and/or engaging in any conversations that involve these topics:
  • Politics
  • Religion
  • The right and wrong ways to raise a child
  • Whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich
  • Politics
  • Religion
  • What is and isn't a catch in the NFL

Steer clear of those napalm laced talking points, and you should be good to go! And if you happen to have a relative that's actually watching and caught up on Fargo? Well then that, my friends, would be you ending up with the large part of the wishbone. Figuratively speaking of course. I'm still of the opinion that ending up with a lesser chunk of bird skeleton should really constitute a win in that situation. But again, not an argument you're trying to get into with the relatives...

Soiled bird corpse aside, I hope you Teds have yourselves a fantastic and restorative Thanksgiving. And in failing that, maybe just a better than average weekend. Ya know. Keep the bar nice and low, so it's easy to grab. Or jump over? What are we doin' with that "bar", anyway? Hitting it? Because that's what I'm about to do. Oh!...

Gobble gobble, my friends. And good luck...


Thanksgiving Picks

Detroit Lions (pick) vs Philadelphia Eagles + UNDER 46

Dallas Cowboys (pick) vs Carolina Panthers + OVER 45

Green Bay Packers  (-8) vs Chicago Bears + OVER 46


Last Week: 7-4-2

Overall: 82-73-6 (.528)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, November 20, 2015

Week 11 Picks: HOT TAKE SEASON HAS RETURNED!...

OK, hot take enthusiasts. I've got ya back in my crosshairs. So here are a few hot takes on some of today's hot topics. And then, of course, I'll present you with this week's prodigious picks. So enjoy...


Daily Fantasy Sports

Daily fantasy sports is gambling. OR is it Daily Fantasy Sports are gambling? Either way, that thing you see all of the commercials for? That's gambling. The government even called it gambling when it allowed it to exist (as they had thoroughly underestimaTed the potential tax windfall had they decided to regulate it from jump street). And it probably should be regulaTed, for the sake and safety of the players more than anything else (see: online poker). It sucks that the UniTed States government have to be the ones doing the regulating. Because they'll probably opt to burn it down and slowly build it back up (see: online poker), effectively killing the industry as we've come to know it. But regulation, in some official and transparent form, is definitely necessary. Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey took a very sane and reasonable stand yesterday that I'd like to hope many other states will emulate. But I don't have much faith that they will. Ya know, because they want their respective cuts...

That all being said, anyone citing the fact that only a small % of players actually win as a reason to shut it down is just as ignorant as they are undoubTedly hungry for power and fame (see: NY attorney general). What separates the "luck" based games (scratch tickets, slot machines, etc) from the "skill" based games (poker, daily fantasy, the stock market) is the competition. In the luck games, you're playing against the "house", and its massive house edge. In the skill games, you're playing against other players, while paying the house a flat fee for the right to do so. If you can garner a win rate that makes you more than the house fee, you profit. And whether you're able to profit will ultimately depend upon your ability to use information and experience to your advantage. The better informed and more experienced players will win. The rest will break even or lose. Luck is involved, of course. But you show me a business venture in which luck doesn't play a role, and I'll show you a sucker that doesn't deserve to be separaTed from their money....

And of course only a small % of people are going to be successful! That's like every industry EVER! But I digress...

So yeah. It's gambling. But no more than any other money making venture. Fact is, the government just wants their slice. And they'll probably get it. AKA Enjoy it while it lasts. Because most good things never do...


Boston Red Sox

I liked when the Red Sox hired Dave Dombrowski to run their baseball operations. I really did. Guy's got a good track record, he likes pitchers who throw hard. OK, good stuff! Let's do this! But when he "chose" to bring back John Farrell as manager, I immediately knew this was a "Meet the old boss..." type of situation. Really? Guy gets the reigns and he decides on his own that the middling manager in place is the first guy he'd choose? Yep, I'm not buyin' it. Dombrowski's just the latest lackey for the ownership group, and the moves he makes or doesn't make will almost definitely continue to reflect that fact. It's disappointing, but I'll be pleasantly shocked if that doesn't turn out to be the case...

Oh, and I don't like the Craig Kimbrel trade. Not because of that preceding mini-rant, and not because I love those minor leaguers and/or dislike Kimbrel. Kimbrel is fine, and I don't know those minor leaguers from Adam. I just know that the currency the Red Sox just used for a closer is typically reserved for acquiring a frontline starting pitcher or a big bat for the middle of your lineup. Not for a guy who's only going to throw about 60-70 innings. No matter how impressively efficient hose innings may be. Ya know, because it's common knowledge at this point that, while it looks important on TV and feels good as a fan, it doesn't actually matter when a guy pitches, so much as it matters how often he pitches. And with that being the case, I'd rather use my best assets to acquire a guy who's gonna have a bigger impact (i.e. the potentially disgruntled Jose Fernandez???). But that's just me...

As for Big Papi's impending retirement. I'm gonna miss him. I just hope he doesn't mail it in this year with no contracts left for which to play. Which, yeah. I'm considering a distinct possibility. Not that I could blame him...
   


College Basketball

BASKETBALL SEASON HAS RETURNED!

When 'Hate Me Now' was a popular(?) song, a friend of mine would always replace the word 'Escobar' in the very beginning with the word 'basketball'. He even wanted us to play it as the intro on our high school basketball warm up tape, figuring we would just will everyone into believing that's what was actually being said. A noble thought, but no. Even so. BASKETBALL SEASON HAS RETURNED!

Yep, and it's gonna be glorious, per usual. Well, maybe not for my Syracuse Orange. Who'll likely be going through some growing pains. But it should still be plenty entertaining, per usual. So keep your eyes here for any pertinent updates, and I'll even start rolling out my weekly top 25 right around Christmas time. So you've got that to look forward to. Which is nice...


#slacktivism

The terror attacks this past week in Paris were tragic. Your changing of your social media profile picture to reflect your support, if that's all that you did? It's lazy at best, and pathetic at worst...

Yep. Not sorry, and not mincing words. Because, what? Your friends and family didn't know that you were anti-terrorism? Because those are the only people you're informing with your one-size-fits-all tribute. No, you did it to draw attention to yourself AND/OR to fit in. Plain and simple. And to use such a tragic event to draw attention to yourself is pathetic. Always has been, and always will be. So do something, even if it's just something as simple as adding to the ongoing discussion. Or do nothing. Whatever makes you comfortable. But don't be a slacktivist, and let your pseudo-support bastardize and trivialize the whole situation. This is terrorism. It's not an opportunity to make a Facebook memory. So act accordingly...

OK. Yeah, so sorry for ending with the grumpy GET OFF MY LAWN rant. But here we are. We can be better. So let's be better, Teds. And let's start by being richer Teds! No comma there. Because we'll all be rich Teds. Ya know, after we all take my advice and use it to profit off of this week's football slate. Ya! Rich Teds!

Good luck, friends. And I'll catch you next week...



Week 11 Picks
New England Patriots (-7) vs Buffalo Bills

Indianapolis Colts (+6) @ Atlanta Falcons

Chicago Bears (-1) vs Denver Broncos

Detroit Lions (+2) vs Oakland Raiders + OVER 48.5

Dallas Cowboys (pick) @ Miami Dolphins

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Carolina Panthers (-7) vs Washington Tedskins

Baltimore Ravens (-1.5) vs St. Louis Rams

Kansas City Chiefs (-3) @ San Diego Chargers

Minnesota Vikings (pick) vs Green Bay Packers

San Francisco 49ers (+13) @ Seattle Seahawks

Arizona Cardinals (-3) vs Cincinnati Bengals



Last Week: 7-9-0

Overall: 75-69-4 (.521)



NCAA Top 25 Picks
(9) Michigan St. (+14.5) @ (2) Ohio St.

(4) Oklahoma St. (pick) vs (10) Baylor

Boston College (+15.5) vs (5) Notre Dame

(7) Oklahoma (-10) vs (18) TCU

(12) North Carolina (-3.5) @ Virginia Tech

Penn St. (+4.5) vs (14) Michigan

(15) Stanford (-11) vs California

(25) Mississippi (-4) vs (17) LSU

(18) Utah (-2) vs UCLA

(21) Wisconsin (-10) vs (20) Northwestern

(23) Oregon (-3.5) vs (22) USC


Last Week: 6-7-0

Overall: 55-54-1 (.505)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, November 13, 2015

Week 10 Picks: Fore Score?...


Oof. I really took it on the chin last week, didn't I Teds? Yep, I sure did. And now I find myself hoovering just below profitability (that would be 55%+). But that's OK. I'm not daunTed...

Unfortunately, not being daunTed hasn't been enough to spark any creativity in terms of critical insight or witty commentary (I'll probably have thoughts on daily fantasy and the Red Sox next week). Though it has served as a catalyst for me to buckle down a little more than usual in an attempt to right the ship and churn out a winning week. A strategy that has me picking against my dinged up Patriots, for some reason. Probably because of those aforementioned dings, but yeah...

So either I'm in the forest, and I can't see the trees. In which case this weekend could very well be this season's Waterloo. OR I'm in the trees, but able to chip out into the fairway...and then get a good kick...and some roll. In which case this weekend could very well be my Gettysburg!...

See how I tried to work that golf reference in there (along with conveniently justifying my punny title)? Yeah, that's because I'm golfing again. Yep, turns out I underestimaTed the length of the season. Which'll happen when you take more than a decade off from the game. At least that's what I've been telling myself. I don't know, what do those people who are annually surprised that the seasons change tell themselves? Because that's what I've got goin' on. So I feel your pain, "OMG I can't believe it's not 75 degrees outside in late Octobah!" guy. I feel. Your pain...

I feel the tide starting to turn, too. So let's reap that pain's gain together, my damies. And have ourselves a nice and profitable weekend. Good luck, friends. And I'll catch you next time...

Week 10 Picks
New York Giants (+8) vs New England Patriots

Green Bay Packers (-11.5) vs Detroit Lions

Carolina Panthers (-4.5) @ Tennessee Titans

St. Louis Rams (-7) vs Chicago Bears

Philadelphia Eagles (-6) vs Miami Dolphins

Pittsburgh Steelers (-4.5) vs Cleveland Browns

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1) vs Dallas Cowboys

New Orleans Saints (-1) @ Washington Tedskins + UNDER 50

Oakland Raiders (-3) vs Minnesota Vikings

Baltimore Ravens (-5.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

Kansas City Chiefs (+7) @ Denver Broncos

Arizona Cardinals (+3) @ Seattle Seahawks + UNDER 45

Cincinnati Bengals (-10.5) vs Houston Texans + UNDER 48


Last week: 6-7-0

Overall: 68-60-4 (.530)


NCAA Top 25 Picks
Syracuse (+27.5) vs (1) Clemson

Illinois (+16.5) vs (2) Ohio St.

(20) Mississippi St. (+8) vs (3) Alabama

(4) Baylor (-2.5) vs (12) Oklahoma

(8) Iowa (-9.5) vs Minnesota

(9) LSU (-6.5) vs Arkansas

(10) Utah (-5.5) @ Arizona

(11) Florida (-6.5) @ South Carolina

Indiana (+13.5) vs (15) Michigan

(16) Houston (-4.5) vs (25) Memphis

(17) North Carolina (-12.5) vs Miami

Washington St. (+12.5) @ (18) UCLA

(19) Florida St. (-9.5) vs NC State


Last Week: 3-7-0

Overall: 49-47-1 (.510)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, November 06, 2015

Week 9 Picks: Every Dog Has Its Day...


Golf is calling me again, my damies. Thank you very much Indian Summer! That's still politically correct to say, right? I mean, I know Daniel Snyder would give it the OK. But would Daniel Day Lewis? I'm not so sure. So let's just call this, 'The Last of Golf-hicans'. Which I'm sure is a phrase that both Daniel's could get behind. Ya know, despite it being exponentially more offensive...potentially...

But I do have thoughts on the latest "is a hot dog a sandwich?" debate that's setting the Interwebs ablaze. And those thoughts are right here, presented mathematically for your viewing pleasure:


A hot dog - the bun = a hot dog

A roast beef sandwich - the bread = roast beef

See? A hot dog is NOT a sandwich. Says math. And me. And that picture of a undoubTedly delicious hot dog sandwich, up there. So yeah. Not a sandwich. Not unless you're referring to the artery clogger pictured above...

Oh, and I've got the latest trailer for Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight for ya, too. Which, needless to say, looks quite promising. But I'll let you be the judge:


Promising, right? I thought you'd think so. And it should serve to tide us over quite nicely until the latest Coen Brothers' offering drops in February...

OK then. I'm off to golf. And you're off to buy hot dogs. Well, first you're going to lose all of your money playing fantasy sports and betting on games (despite having absorbed my virtual wisdom). Then, lacking both money and self esteem (and likely wearing only stained and/or ripped articles of clothing), you'll be buying those hot dogs. And they'll be delicious, no matter what you choose to call them. Ya know, because you don't have to be smart to enjoy a delicious treat. DARWINISM IS DEAD!...

Good luck, Teds. And I'll catch you next time...

Week 9 Picks
New England Patriots (-14) vs Washington Tedskins

Miami Dolphins (+3) @ Buffalo Bills

Minnesota Vikings (-1) vs St. Louis Rams

New Orleans Saints (-7.5) vs Tennessee Titans

Oakland Raiders (+5.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Carolina Panthers (+3) vs Green Bay Packers

Atlanta Falcons (-7) @ San Francisco 49ers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3) vs New York Giants

Denver Broncos (-4.5) @ Indianapolis Colts

Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5) @ Dallas Cowboys + UNDER 45

San Diego Chargers (-4) vs Chicago Bears + UNDER 49


Last Week: 7-6-1

Overall: 61-53-4 (.534)


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(1) Ohio St. (-23) vs Minnesota

(3) Clemson (-10.5) vs (17) Florida St.

(4) LSU (+7) @ (7) Alabama

(12) Oklahoma St. (+5.5) vs (5) TCU

Nebraska (+6.5) vs (6) Michigan St.

Pittsburgh (+8.5) vs (8) Notre Dame

(10) Iowa (-6.5) @ Indiana

(13) Utah (+3) Washington

(15) Memphis (-7.5) vs Navy

(18) Houston (-8) vs Cincinnati


Last Week: 8-3-0

Overall: 46-40-1 (.534)

#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, October 30, 2015

Week 8 Picks: Over 'N Out, I Guess...


Well, my damies. I've got another abbreviated post for ya. And golf's not to blame for this one. Work is. Well, it was the reason. But then this happened, and that happened, and then general apathy and convenience ultimately won out. But I've still got that delicious pick-y goodness that you crave. Along with a reminder that you should be watching the new season of Fargo. Because it's good TV. And good TV is meant to be watched...

I know you're not watching, because ratings and lack of chatter. Which means you're missing out on (among many other things) a top notch supporting performance by Bokeem Woodbine (above). A dramatic turn that would even make Mike Ehrmantraut blush. Ya know, if Mike Ehrmantraut deigned to ever show any emotion. Which he wouldn't do unless there were a boxcutter involved. Because he's a boss. Ehrmantraut doesn't have a fake band, though. And Woodbine's Mike Milligan is already singing lead for prog rock up-and-comers "Mike Milligan & The Kitchen Brothers". So he's got that goin' for him, which is great. I even hear that they're scheduled to tour the sub-continent with The Blue Jean Committee. But that's just a rumor at best, and a poor tangent at worst...

But yeah, you should be watching Fargo. You really should. Like, take a break from tracking Lamar Odom's bowels (by which I mean "in-laws") for an hour or so, and watch a bunch of talented people tell a unique and interesting story. Okay then? Okay then...

Now, here are the picks. Starting with MinnesOHta and Kansas City. Ya know. Because Fargo...

Week 8 Picks
Kansas City Chiefs (-5) vs Detroit Lions

Minnesota Vikings (pick) @ Chicago Bears

Cleveland Browns (+5.5) vs Arizona Cardinals

St. Louis Rams (-7.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+7) @ Atlanta Falcons

New York Giants (+3.5) @ New Orleans Saints

Pittsburgh Steelers (+1.5) vs Cincinnati Bengals

San Diego Chargers (+3) @ Baltimore Ravens

Oakland Raiders (+1.5) vs New York Jets

Seattle Seahawks (-6) @ Dallas Cowboys

Green Bay Packers (-2.5) @ Denver Broncos + UNDER 46

Carolina Panthers (-6) vs Indianapolis Colts + UNDER 48


Last Week: 9-5-0

Overall: 54-47-3 (.534)


Could have gone with the sexy Halloween theme, here. Pretty sure I've done that in the past, and Lord knows it's a proven winner. But I decided instead to stick with the Fargo theme. Which means you get a naughty gopher (though I hear she went to high school in White Bear Lake. Go Bears!) and a petite blonde in a Steve Buscemi dress. That's when you know that you've finally made it, folks. When your creepy face is on a dress, and your eyes are lined up perfectly with the boobs. Imagine Christina Hendricks in that thing? Because that's what I'm doin' right now. You've got a funny lookin' fella on your whatnots there, dontcha know...

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(3) Clemson (-10) @ NC State

(8) Stanford (-12) vs Washington St.

(21) Temple (+9.5) vs (9) Notre Dame

(11) Florida (-2.5) vs Georgia

(12) Oklahoma St. (-3) @ Texas Tech

(13) Utah (-23.5) vs Oregon St.

Minnesota (+14) vs (15) Michigan

(16) Memphis (-30) vs Tulane

(17) Florida St. (-20.5) vs Syracuse

(18) Houston (-11) vs Vanderbilt

Auburn (+8.5) vs (19) Mississippi


Last Week: 4-6-0

Overall: 38-37-1 (.507)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, October 23, 2015

Week 7 Picks: El Fuego de Dumpster...


Greetings, fellow degenerates. It's that time again. That time where I make my picks, and you use my pseudo-knowledge to pad your wallets, and gain supremacy over your Teddish cohorts. And you'll probably want to beat your friends this week more than most, considering that Sunday's slate doesn't seem particularly entertaining. Which is my way of saying that outside of Pats/Jets and Cowboys/Giants, this weekend's match ups are more akin to one of those flaming trash receptacles that you keep hearing so much about (fingers crossed that I just guaranteed a week of close and exciting games). But that's not gonna deter me, and it shouldn't deter you. And I know it won't. Because, ya know. Degeneracy....

So take a gander, my damies. And good luck...

Friday, October 16, 2015

Week 6 Picks: Hail, Sports!...


Sports are great, aren't they? Ya know, minus the scandals and the cheating. OK, so those can be great, too. But you get my point. And it's moments like Jose Bautista's home run and bat flip up there (and the batshit crazy 7th inning that built up to it) that should remind us of that. That sports are great. And, perhaps even more importantly. That sports should be fun! Just like movies! Which is why, even though I'm ditching you fine folks again for another last grasp at golf, I'm leaving you with the trailer for the new Coen Brothers film (Hail, Caesar!) in addition to that joyus GIF of Bautista and (of course) my prodigious picks. Oh, and I've even got an extra college coed for ya since the Google Image search for Florida coeds (no so shockingly) yielded a bevy of quality results...

So, yeah. That's my penance for dipping out on you fine folks. And I've paid it. Now go watch this trailer, get your betting affairs in order, and go out there and have some fun this weekend. Starting...now!


Week 6 Picks
New England Patriots (-7.5) @ Indianapolis Colts

Minnesota Vikings (-4) vs Kansas City Chiefs

Cincinnati Bengals (-4) @ Buffalo Bills

Pittsburgh Steelers (+3) vs Arizona Cardinals

Denver Broncos (-4) @ Cleveland Browns

Tennessee Titans (-2.5) vs Miami Dolphins

Chicago Bears (+3) @ Detroit Lions

New York Jets (-6) vs Washington Tedskins

Jacksonville Jaguars (+1.5) vs Houston Texans

Carolina Panthers (+6.5) @ Seattle Seahawks

Green Bay Packers (-10) vs San Diego Chargers

San Francisco 49ers (+2.5) vs Baltimore Ravens

New York Giants (+5.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles


Last Week: 10-4-0

Overall: 39-36-2 (.520)



NCAA Top 25 Picks
Penn St. (+17) @ (1) Ohio St.

(2) Baylor (-21) vs West Virginia

(3) TCU (-20.5) @ Iowa St.

(4) Utah (-6.5) vs Arizona St.

(8) Florida (+9.5) @ (6) LSU

(12) Michigan (-7) vs (7) Michigan St.

(9) Texas A&M (+4.5) vs (10) Alabama

(11) Florida St. (-6.5) vs Louisville

Memphis (+10.5) vs (13) Mississippi

USC (+6.5) @ (14) Notre Dame

(20) Northwestern (+2.5) vs (17) Iowa

Kansas St. (+4.5) vs (19) Oklahoma

Tulane (+19.5) vs (24) Houston


Last Week: 8-6-1

Overall: 28-24-1 (.538)


Good luck, Teds. And I'll catch you next week...

Be good...


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, October 09, 2015

Week 5 Picks: Give 'Em The Bird...


Well, friends. I'm skipping out on ya again to play golf. Ya know, squeezing the last ounces out of the northeast golfing season and whatnot. But I wouldn't deign to leave you empty handed, so here are this week's picks. Complete with the obligatory Rick and Morty (RIP Birdperson #FREERICK etc.) and college coed (annual Red River Rivalry addition) photos. So there ya go, ya rat bastards. That should tide you over til we chat again...

Until then, enjoy your weekend. And I'll catch you Teds next time...

Week 5 Picks
New England Patriots (-8.5) @ Dallas Cowboys

Atlanta Falcons (-7.5) vs Washington Tedskins

Cincinnati Bengals (-2.5) vs Seattle Seahawks

Green Bay Packers (-9) vs St. Louis Rams

Tennessee Titans (+2.5) vs Buffalo Bills

Philadelphia Eagles (-4.5) vs New Orleans Saints

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-2.5) vs Jacksonville Jaguars

Chicago Bears (+10) @ Kansas City Chiefs

Cleveland Browns (+6.5) @ Baltimore Ravens

Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) @ Detroit Lions

Oakland Raiders (+5) vs Denver Broncos

New York Giants (-7) vs San Francisco 49ers

San Diego Chargers (-3) vs Pittsburgh Steelers


Last Week: 6-8-0

Overall: 29-32-2 (.476)


NCAA Top 25 Picks
Maryland (+33.5) @ (1) Ohio St.

(2) TCU (-9) @ Kansas St.

Rutgers (+16.5) vs (4) Michigan St.

(5) Utah (-4.5) vs (23) California

(6) Clemson (-7.5) vs Georgia Tech

South Carolina (+13.5) vs (7) LSU

(8) Alabama (-13) vs Arkansas

(10) Oklahoma (-17) vs Texas

Missouri (+5.5) vs (11) Florida

(12) Florida St. (-9.5) vs Miami

Navy (+14.5) @ (15) Notre Dame

(18) Michigan (-7.5) vs (13) Northwestern

Tennessee (+2.5) vs (19) Georgia

(21) Oklahoma St. (+7) @ West Virginia

Illinois (+10.5) @ (22) Iowa


Last Week: 8-4-0

Overall: 20-18-0 (.526)


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, October 02, 2015

Week 4 Picks: Who's Your Taddy?


See that guy, up there? Yeah? Well, that's Rick &Morty insta-legend and all around good-guy-for-hire, Taddy Mason. Yep. That's who that is. So, now that I've justified the punny title of my post. Let's pick some winners. See if I can't claw my way above 5 hundy for ya. Ya know, because I'm a nice guy like that. I mean, I'm no Taddy Mason. But you probably already knew that. Unless you still have no idea who Taddy Mason is. In which case you're more than likely Teddy Mason. And nobody likes Teddy Mason. Obviously...

Enjoy...

Friday, September 25, 2015

Week 3 Picks: Limited Mass Appeal...


OK, so I saw Black Mass. And it was good, but by no means great. Here's what holds it back:

*Johnny Depp is a great actor. Fact. But he's just too big a star for this role. You're very aware that you're watching Johnny Depp playing Whitey Bulger, and that just shouldn't be. Personally, I would have liked to have seen Jonathan Banks in that role. But I have a cinematic man crush on that talented bald bastard, so naturally my opinion is skewed. Probably didn't help that Banks' Breaking Bad cohort, Jesse Plemons, is the first person you see when the movie boots up, either. Depp does a fine job. But, yeah. Jonathan Banks (or just a lesser known actor) would have been better. There, I said it. Twice...

*The female characters were fairly useless. Harsh, I know. But there it is. The performances themselves were fine. But the women in Black Mass just weren't very important characters, and seemed to be have their stories forced into the script merely as an attempt to prevent the audience from thinking that South Boston was/is a complete sausage fest. Which, to that end. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!


*The music didn't deliver, either. Maybe I'm spoiled by Scorsese, but I expect my gangster films to be accompanied by no fewer than 3 songs composed and performed by The Rolling Stones. One of which HAS to be Gimmie Shelter. House of the Rising Sun should probably be played, too. And something from Clapton. But none of that happened. Which was disappointing...

and finally...

*There just wasn't enough meat on the proverbial movie bone. Namely, none of the characters had nearly enough depth for my liking (that's usually my #1 beef with any film I don't love). Maybe it's because I was already so familiar with Whitey's life; having read several books, seen several documentaries and having lived my whole life in Massachusetts. I don't know. I mean, it's not as if I was expecting new information. But I guess I would have liked to have seen more of what made the man, and what made him tick. Rather than just a replay of his notorious acts, which have been discussed and dissected ad nauseam for the better part of the last quarter century. Depp plays the Whitey we already know to a tee. And that's good, for what it is. I was just hoping for a little more depth. Maybe an unrealistic expectation on my end. But there it is...


As for the better performances, I have to give the nod to Joel Edgerton as John Connolly and a criminally brief appearance by Peter Sarsgaard as Brian Halloran. Rory Cochrane does some solid work as Steve Flemmi, too. And Earl Brown is good as notorious Winter Hill hit man, John Martorano. None of their performances scream "award" to me. It's just more that those guys are great actors, and were suitably cast. So props there. Ya know, minus not giving the reigns to Whitey Ehrmantraut...

...oh and Adam Scott was a questionable call, too. I'm usually a fan of his brand of comedy. But it seemed like a reach to cast him against type like that in such a serious film. I saw what they were goin, for, I just don't think that they, or he, were able to pull it off...

So, yeah. I'd give it somewhere in the 6-6.5/10 range. A solid film that was cast well and pleasing to the eye cinematically. But nothing revolutionary. And definitely not a film I'd expect to ever crack my Hot Mun-Hundred. So there ya go...

Now, it's onto the picks...

Friday, September 18, 2015

Week 2 Picks: A Quick Batch...

Welcome back for week 2, my damies. As promised, I've got all of the picks that are fit to print. Granted, I didn't do any write ups on any of the games because I'll be spending the time that I'd normally allot for that on the golf course. But I kind of promised that, too. When I told you last week that I'd be easing back into my blogging routine. So, yeah. I'm one of those promise keepers. At least in as much that I am "golfer" and a "capable handicapper" (there's a reason that's basically an oxymoron). So there's that...

Week 2 Picks
New England Patriots (pick) @ Buffalo Bills

Chicago Bears (+2) vs Arizona Cardinals

San Diego Chargers (+3) @ Cincinnati Bengals

Tennessee Titans (-1) @ Cleveland Browns

Detroit Lions (+3) @ Minnesota Vikings

New Orleans Saints (-10) vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

New York Giants (-2) vs Atlanta Falcons

Pittsburgh Steelers (-5.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

St. Louis Rams (-3) @ Washington Tedskins

Carolina Panthers (-3.5) vs Houston Texans

Jacksonville Jaguars (+6) vs Miami Dolphins

Oakland Raiders (+6) vs Baltimore Ravens

Philadelphia Eagles (-5) vs Dallas Cowboys

Green Bay Packers (-3.5) vs Seattle Seahawks

Indianapolis Colts (-7) vs New York Jets


Last Week: 8-7-1

ALL TIME: 1278-907-72 (.582)



And if I'm anything in addition to a promise keeper and a golfer, I'm a cinephile. Which sounds dirty, but it really just means that I like movies more than I like most people...

In keeping with that, I'll be seeing Black Mass this weekend. So you can be on the lookout for my review somewhere in the near future. Whether it be on here, or on Twitter. Either way. I expect to be at least semi positive with something along the lines of "Joel Edgerton is such a boss!". Though there's a good chance I mention Benedict Cumberbatch, too. Mostly because I like saying his name. And by "saying", I obviously mean "singing it to the tune of Nickelback's Photograph". Because that's how it's done. You can actually do that with any word, name or phrase with 6 syllables. I call it "Nickel-batching", though I'm not sure if anyone else does. Seemed like the most appropriate moniker, though. So I'm stickin' with it. And it's fun! You should try it. Like, "Georgia Tech Notre Dame!" See? It's fun! No? Well, I know every time that I do it, it makes me laugh. So I'll always have that goin' for me. Which is nice...

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(15) Ole Miss (+6) @ (2) Alabama

(6) USC (-10) vs Stanford

(14) Georgia Tech (-2.5) @ (8) Notre Dame

Boston College (+7.5) vs (9) Florida St.

(19) BYU (+19.5) @ (10) UCLA

(13) LSU (-6.5) vs (19) Auburn

Fresno St. (+15.5) vs (21) Utah

UCONN (+21.5) @ (22) Missouri

Duke (-3.5) vs (23) Northwestern


Last Week: 3-4-0

ALL TIME: 687-465-29 (.594)


And there ya go. Hope my advice serves you well, Teds, And I'll catch ya next week...

Be good...


#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, September 11, 2015

Week 1 Picks: Takin' the Slow Ramp...


Wubba lubba dub dubbbb!!!

I'm back, my damies! And so is football!! And so is the long awaiTed second season of Rick & Morty!!! All great things. And while I may have taken the summer to tend to my golf game and make a list of my 100 favorite films. I've returned just in time to provide you with just enough of my finely honed brand of "snark and shark" to get you ready for another exciting season of the brain crippling entertainment we so lovingly refer to as "football"...

This week, I'll be easing back into things by taking "the slow ramp". You know, as an homage to Rick and Morty, up there. That'll serve as the bulk of what this week will have to serve as"snark". The "shark", will be played by my career winning percentages (58% NFL, 59% NCAA). Which have almost reached the point in terms of sample size that they'll be nearly impossible to ignore! At least that's what all of those well balanced individuals on the Interweb message boards keep tellin' me. The man with the bouncing cleavage GIF as an avatar was particularly reassuring...

But alas. Until that day comes, and I'm properly immortalized as the legendary degenerate that I've long aspired to be, then I'll be here slaving away for ya. And as a part of said slaving, I'll usually post at least one picture per week of a scantily clad hottie. So, should all else fail, there will always be that. Which is nice. Reliability is nice...

Now, in the spirit of of reliability. It's time for me to do my job. And, yes. That timely pun was intended. Because if there's one thing I know, it's timely puns...and picking football games...and cartoons for adults...

So hop on the slow ramp to football, my friends. And enjoy...

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

My 100 Favorite Films


Getcha popcorn ready, my damies! Because I've spent my down time this summer carefully crafting a list of my 100 favorite films, and it's finally as ready as it'll ever be for it's all important public consumption. I'm calling it, "The Hot Mun-Hundred". Which, for those not so intimately familiar with my work, is a reference (or dare I say an homage) to my finely crafted alter ego, "Bags Munman" (pronounced like "Silverman" NOT like "Spiderman").  BUT FIRST, before you venture through the enigmatic obstacle course that constitutes my cinematic taste, I've provided you with a few disclaimer-type statements to help you get me in your cross-hairs. And they are as follows...

DISCLAIMER TYPE STATEMENTS:

*This is NOT (necessarily) my take on the "best films of all time". It's simply a list of my favorite films. Yes, I'm quite critical. And yes, I've seen more films than is considered socially acceptable for anyone with even partial use of their legs. But by no means do I consider myself some sort of definitive authority on the cinematic experience who's seen every film ever printed. You should think of me in that way. But I don't. I mean, that would just be totally arrogant and slightly inaccurate...

*I have NOT included documentaries or LIVE concert type films in my list. I love them, but there is a time and a place. And I have decided that this is neither...

*For the most part, I don't do horror, sci-fi/fantasy, OR anything with subtitles. And I'm NOT some critical student of cinema (cough:: Mulholland Drive ::cough). Much respect to those genres, the talented actors and directors that populate them, and their legions of fans. But I like what I like. I mean, I try not to discriminate, but it is what it is. And for whatever reason, those film styles don't tend to pique and/or keep my interest...

AND FINALLY

*Despite my best attempts at due diligence, and my consulting a myriad of respected friends and "best of" lists to help jog my memory, I'm sure I forgot a film or two. Probably even a film or two that I'd have rated highly on my list. So feel free to chime in at any time in the comments section. Whether it be to suggest a film you think I may have omitted, one you think I should watch and possibly include, OR to simply eviscerate my poor taste with your cinematic hot takes ("I don't see The Depahhhhted, guy!"). Whatever your opinion, I'd love to hear it. Besides, I plan on keeping this list around and updating/fine tuning it on a regular basis. So any and all suggestions are more than welcomed...

Oh, and I didn't do any write ups or provide any pictures for any of these movies. Though I have linked each title to its respective IMDB page. So, just assume I like each film because I think it's really good, and then feel free to check out the plot points and major players at your leisure...

Now, without further dudes. It's time to peruse and abuse. So here's my list. Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

COMING SOON!


I'm nearly ready to return, you rat bastards. And before I kick off another season of lining your pockets picks to click and popping off appropriate puns, I've decided to grace you all with MY 100 FAVORITE FILMS OF ALL TIME!!!

Yep. Been working on it all Summer, and I'll be releasing it to the masses before the pigskin hits the fan. So you've got that to look forward to. Which is nice. And then I'll make some picks. And that'll be great, too.

Now, I'll let you get back to your hot DeflateGate takes, guy. And I'll catch you in a few weeks.

Be good.

#BAGSMUNMAN


Saturday, April 18, 2015




I'm on hiatus for the Summer, Teds. Catch you in the Fall. OR not. Either way works for me.


Be good...

#BAGSMUNMAN

Friday, April 03, 2015

OR Not...


DID YOU KNOW?: Not a single person, minus it's illustrious creators, found the above photo either humorous, timely, NOR the least bit creative.

Yep. Upon it's highly anticipaTed release, this parody featuring one of the Final Four's most recognizable players, and one of TV's hottest new shows garnered absolutely NO response from the Interweb community at large. Probably because it isn't a picture of a dog...or a cat...or a baby...or a copy and pasted line from a well known song or film...

But, alas. You can only lead a Ted to water. And if you want that water drunk? Well, then you're gonna need yourself a packet or two of Kool Aid. OR, again. A picture of something small and cute...

But, hey. I can't help it if you all have bad taste. Guess that's just my bad for culminating a social circle full of people who apparently don't have cable, and aren't allowed on any website that isn't Facebook...

Meh, either way. Enjoy the Final Four, you ungrateful bastards. Because they should be some very entertaining contests. And by "enjoy", I mean I hope your bracket goes down in flames. No, better yet. I hope that you think you've won, only to find out that you've actually lost. And had been spending the last month blindly rooting for outcomes that ultimately led to your demise...

Yep, any good will has been beaten down (temporarily, at least). And now I want all of you to lose in the most painful way possible (And no, it's not bracket envy. My brackets are fine). So here's to that, Teds! And I'll catch you next time...


#BAGSMUNMAN

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Wicked Sweet, Guy...


So, friends. How's your bracket looking? Not that I really care, mind you. I'm just taking this opportunity to boast that, were you smart enough to have taken my advice, and read between the lines correctly. Then you're probably sitting in pretty good shape, right now. Which, with about 7 fiddy and a stylish scarf will get you the large coffee necessary to fit in at your local Starbucks...

No, but I've had a nice run so far. With UCLA moving on, Northern Iowa falling short, and the Big XII looking more or less the big mess it was all year. I'd say I'm bordering on prophetic. You know, if not for the fact that my logic behind all of those picks was less logic and more my modest attempts at tournament game theory. But this blind squirrel loves nuts (no homo), and I'm not about to bite the hand of the gift Ted that happened to have dropped said delicious nuts within my finely manicured reach. Which is really just my way of saying that I was prepared, but I got lucky. I don't really get manicures. At least not that you know about...

But you do know that you wanna take a quick gander at my preview of the action yet to come. So let's get to that. Because it should be a great 4 days. Country's best teams mixin' it up and whatnot. And you want to be prepared. You know, so your drunken ramblings that nobody is going to accurately remember will actually make sense...

Enjoy...

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

2015 NCAA Tournament Guide: Headed For a Coin Flip...



It's here, my friends. It's finally here! Well, it's almost here. I mean, it can't officially be here until you've thoroughly prepared yourself with the provided pump up music (skip ahead to :44 if you don't want to see John Dennis), and perused my webspace for some last minute tidbits. And that's what I've got for ya. Some tidbits to help you win a tourney pool. No magic bullets, mind you. But some solid advice on where and when you should take your chances...

Because, let's be honest. You're probably taking Kentucky, and you're probably hedging with Arizona. Which are both smart moves. In fact, that would be my recommended strategy, more or less (And the more tournaments you can enter within your bankroll, the better). It's just that it's gonna be a popular train of thought. Which is why you'll need to win a few coin flips along the way in order to bring those beautiful bracket bucks into your virtual billfold. Taking Wisconsin, Duke, Notre Dame or anyone else? Well, that's easy. Fill out more or less whatever you want until you have those teams in the finals, and you'll make money if you're right. Easy game...

But I'm here to help my fellow the coin flippers, who have confidence that the chalk will hold. Well, at least for the most part. So let's head to the tales, my damies (I think that works). And check out some of these 50/50 type situations that you'll have to donk your way through in order to emerge victorious from the year's ultimate showdown...

Good luck...

Saturday, March 14, 2015

College Hoops Top 25 (3/13)


OK, friends. It's nearly tournament time. But before we get to my final Top 25, I've got a few issues to address. Namely, my quick thoughts on both the Patriots NOT re-signing Darrelle Revis, and my Syracuse Orange being hit with the NCAA ban-hammer. So here they are...

First, we've got Revis. And to me, it appears he was going to New York unless someone blew him away with an extravagant offer. And the Patriots just aren't in the business of blowing people away. At least not off of the field. Now, do I wish that the Pats had gone to the mattresses for the league's best cover corner? I do. He's unique, he's a game changer. Hell, he's the best at what he does! But I also can't argue with their using of similarly unpopular tactics to build their current dynasty. Call in blind, ignorant faith in Belichick if you must. But I call it well informed, and well documented faith. And as unpopular as it may be, I truly believe whatever steps are taken next will result in the Patriots being in their usual position come playoff time...


As for my Orange, well. This is just a case of getting mud on you while you're playing a dirty game, and not cleaning up well enough so that your mother doesn't catch you. The mother, in this case, being the NCAA. More of a whore than a mother, really. But the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. So there's that...

But I'm not ashamed, and I'm not surprised. It's part of the game, cheating in every conceivable way possible. You're just not supposed to get caught. OR, more importantly. You're not supposed to be so blatant with your cheating that the NCAA is forced to to investigate and make an example of you. And my boys got very, very sloppy. So now they'll serve as the latest sacrificial lamb, proving once and for all to the public that the WELFARE OF THE STUDENT ATHLETES COMES FIRST, GOD DAMMIT! And you know what? They're just as guilty as anyone else, so why the Hell not...

It certainly sucks, having to fork over all of those scholarships. But that's merely the price of doing business at that level. A speeding ticket, if you will. So Syracuse will just buy themselves a radar detector, research the speed traps, and go about their merry way. At least that's what I hope they do. I mean, they didn't take our car, right? OK, maybe they grabbed a cylinder or two. But we still have the whip. Now, it's time to find more efficient ways to speed, and get back to the head of the pack...

As for any Boeheim predictions following this fallout, I have none. He probably won't wanna walk away amidst all of this, but I wouldn't have predicted he throw off his sports jacket in a fit of ref-rage, either. So who knows. I do hold him responsible, though. I mean, he can dance around the words "trusted" and "unaffiliated" all he wants. But he was supposed to be in control, and apparently he wasn't. It's as simple, and as unfortunate as that...

So, in that sense, I'd like him gone because he's lost control. But I also have to think that this will all serve as enough of a wakeup call for him to regain the reigns for the rest of his tenure. I also don't think anyone really has control, over there. I mean, Doc Gross has been a disaster for most of his tenure as AD, and I forget who the chancellor is now. But the fact that their presser addressing these sanctions focused more on the 1918 Black Sox scandal and witchhunt accusations than it did owning up to any transgressions was about as embarrassing as it gets. And it certainly wasn't a glowing endorsement for the school's world renowned public relations and communications programs OR a reassurance that the school understood that there were/are major issues that need to be addressed within it's basketball program. At least in terms of appropriately covering their tracks...

Meh, whatever. Just sucks when you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Which is why you have to be sure and grab as many cookies as you can while you're in there. Muaaahahaha.....

OK, now onto the teams that are actually playing this week and beyond. Yep, my final Top 25 of the season. Don't worry, I'll have a tourney primer ready for you on Wednesday. But this is my final look at the nation's best as Championship Week is unfolding before us. GranTed, a lot of perception shifting events will happen between now and Wednesday. But it's still good to get these things down on virtual paper. You know, so you can see just how well you would have done filling out your bracket if you had just LISTENED TO YOURSELF FROM TWO WEEKS AGO! DAMMIT, ROOCH!...

So, yeah. Grains of salt, and whatnot. Enjoy...

Friday, March 06, 2015

College Hoops Top 25 (3/6)


OK, friends. It's time for this year's penultimate College Hoops Top 25. The tourney is right around the corner, and it's almost time to play for all the Marbs. And I'm here to prepare you to keep your bracket from busting. But before we get to my latest take on the nation's best ballers, a few notes. First, the Patriots' release of Vince Wilfork:

This one's as easy to justify as it is hard to accept. Vince is old and expensive, and though he might still be very productive, that combination makes it advantageous for the Patriots to move on. He'll be greatly missed, both on and off the field. And I'm interested to see how they choose to replace his production. But this is the Patriots in a nutshell. It's all about business, and the best business move, is to release Vince Wilfork. At least that's how they appear to see it, and I'm in no position to question their well established expertise...

Now go give that money to Revis and McCourty. At least to Revis. Thanks...


As for Curt Schilling, and his tweets about his daughter, and his subsequent crusade against Twitter? Well, my views on that aren't nearly as rosy and accepting. Curt's a glory hog and a braggart. We all know this. Hell, it's how he got the nickname "Red Light". Because when the camera's on, he loves to chirp away. No matter how controversial the topic may be. So when he tweeted about his daughter's acceptance of a scholarship, is was far from a surprise. However, when he reacted to several sexuallty explicit tweets as if his daughter had been raped, and tried to take the role of some outraged father and Twitter vigilante, what could have been a productive situation, turned yet again into Curt simply clawing at the spotlight he'd been dragged from kicking and screaming so long ago...

To put my thoughts into better perspective, I'll reference a movie. As is my wont. And Cinema Verite, the HBO movie about America's first family of reality TV, the Loud's, is the film I which to invoke. See, at the end of the film, when the actual Louds are shown doing a post show press tour, matriarch Patricia Loud and TV host Dick Cavett have an interesting back and forth. Loud remarks that she and her family had no idea that the footage shot for their show would be manipulated the way it was, and that the family was totally unprepared for the way they were portrayed to the masses. To which Cavett responded, 'Anyone that works in TV would tell you that you're naive to think that the footage wouldn't be manipulated'. And that's where I'm at with Curt and his Twitter crusade...
Lance, Pat, and Bill Loud on the Dick Cavett Show.

Was it wrong for Teds to send veiled rape threats and derogatory declarations to Curt? Of course it was. But the fact that Curt didn't know any better before he sent that tweet out? The fact that he didn't expect at least some of that shit to happen? Yeah, sorry. I'm just not buying it. Not excusing the Teds, and not saying Curt and his daughter "deserved" any of this (She's a complete innocent. Not her fault that her dad is a huge publicity seeking Ted). But this is the price you often have to pay when, not only you're a celebrity in the public eye, but also if you're someone attempting to share a private moment in a public venue. And the ONLY reason I can think of for someone to want to share a private moment publicly, is if they want to show off. We all do it, I'm not saying I'm above all of this or that all messages like this are inherently selfish. But that's what Curt was doing. Bragging. And the fact that he's outraged that his bragging brought about some negative responses (ie essentially what bragging is supposed to do), just goes to point more towards his ignorance and/or desire to be the center of attention than it does any legitimate fatherly outrage or the massive failings of social media...

You know that's why a lot of people stay OFF of these networks, right Curt? Famous or not. Some people just don't want to expose themselves to the negativity that THEY ALL KNOW IS OUT THERE. Sucks that's the case, but it's true. Because social networks are made of people. And sometimes, people can be dicks. Now, you either need to choose to accept that, and act appropriately. Or get the hell off of my airwaves with your self serving propagandus...

So, yeah. Keep your private moments private, Teds. And you should be good. Unless you're looking to do a talk show tour, in which case tweet away. Oh, and you'll probably want to wish a happy Facebook birthday to someone that doesn't have Facebook, while you're at it. Because, ya know. We were all seriously doubting whether or not you love your grandmother, and were all anxiously awaiting confirmation...

But enough about Teds and their Tedd-ish tendencies, let's talk some hoops! OR at least I'll talk, and you can listen. Yeah, it'll be fun. Trust me...