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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Hitting the G Spot With Another Summertime Smattering...


So, yeah. About that 8-2 stretch the Red Sox were coming off of last we talked. Yeah, turns out I was actually right about their penchant for consistent inconsistency. Who'd of thunk? But, thankfully there's plenty of other whatnot for me to delve into during this week's edition of my "Summer Smattering Series". Yep, it's a series now. Founded out of laziness, and fueled by the Red Sox mediocre play...

So, yeah. Enjoy this week's latest installment. Which includes a glance at the Sox as they approach the trading deadline, how Greg Maddux might be the most "me" player of my lifetime, and how ESPN has officially become the bane of my sport loving existence. Yep, that's right. Again...

OK, enjoy...

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Welcome To The Dungle...


OK, so yeah. I didn't go and see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. But it wasn't out of laziness. OK, it was partly out of laziness. But instead I'd rather blame the following things, in no particular oder. The British Open Championship Golf Tournament, the fact that I came into possession of FREE Showtime AND Cinemax (watched Django a second time, it was great), and the fact that I noticed Philip Seymour Hoffman's final film (A Most Wanted Man) is debuting this weekend. Those all played a major role, with the latter serving as icing on the cake. Mostly because I tend to be extremely frugal when it comes to going to the theater (AKA I only have 1 free pas left)...

I did watch some great stuff on Showtime and Cinemax, though. No, not Ray Donovan. At least not yet. But I did catch a decent "documentary" on The Eagles (kinda light on actual info, but still a decent watch), and the aforementioned Django Unchained. So it wasn't all for naught. I do apologize, though. Not just for not going to see Planet of the Apes, but mostly because I'm probably not going to see the PSH flick, either. Yeah. I'm all talk. Which works out well, because I have about 50 movie channels, and I really enjoy to talk. So there's always that...

And there's always sports, too. Which is why I've got another Summer smattering for ya, this week. It'll mostly be Red Sox talk, and me laughing at Tony Dungy. But I'm sure I'll find some time and/or room to finagle in another tidbit or two. Mmmmmm. tidbits...

Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

BREAK YO SELF!


Well, my damies. It's the All-Star break. And as is my wont, I'm going to take advantage of this nominal happening, and give myself the break by taking a week from having to come up with hot sports takes AND/OR jokes about the annus' (pronounced annus-ees, obviously) of female tennis players or celebrity sluts...

I'll still contribute to this week's Interwebbing, though. By linking you to stories written by other hot takers who don't seem to be lacking in motivation and/or caught up in the fantastic idea of an All Star siesta. Probably because they're actually "fairly compensated" for their particular hot takes, but that's not where I'm trying to go with this. I'm not working class warrior, it's something else. And that was a quote I took from High Fidelity and mangled to fit my own point. Jack Black crushes in that. But I'm sure you already knew that. OR didn't, because you watched Nacho Libre instead. Which is why I despise your kind, and secretly hope that every movie like Tammy is really a government sting operation with the goal of torturing then deporting anyone dumb enough to fork over American currency to watch that thing. Preferably to one of those countries where they'll kill you for being American, too. Not one where you can take the rest of your American dollars and immediately become their dictator. Pretty sure that would just make things worse...


But, alas. Here we are. And if you haven't been sufficiently offended with my broad statements (pun intended...you know, because Melissa McCarthy is fat), here are those aforementioned links and whatnot. Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

So You Think You Can Lance?: Why David Ortiz Just Needs to Stop Talking Steroids...


So, I watched The Armstrong Lie over the past week. The "documentary" released last year, in which Lance Armstrong mixes non-apologies with excuses and innuendo in his best attempt to come off as some sort of victim. And while the film was horribly slanted (the filmmaker admittedly started making the film as a fan in an attempt to chronicle Lance's comeback in 2009), and the only real reaction I got was laughing at all the clips of Lance attacking (and in many cases successfully suing) his plethora of critics. I do think Lance's case is a good one to examine when it comes to the recent media aided dust up involving Nelson Cruz and David Ortiz. And since the Red Sox have been dreadful of late, and their offense seems to have gone reverse Benjamin Button overnight, that's what I've decided to talk about. So enjoy...

Oh, and I saw Blue Jasmine recently, too. But you don't need to see that. Freakin' Woody Allen, always trickin' me into watchin' his slow moving nonsense with his star studded casts. He's like the Wes Anderson of this. Except, you know. With a penchant for pedophilia...allegedly.../he cheated on his wife with their adopted daughter. So, yeah...

...although I still do want to see Grand Budapest Hotel. So there's that...

And now there's this! Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 02, 2014

I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WANE!!!


OK, so I don't like soccer. Not a hater, per say. Just not a fan. A fact that will probably lead you to dismissing my opinions on the future of soccer's popularity in the United States. AKA The topic du jour. That, and the fact that I'm writing this the day after the US apparently lost in rather excruciating fashion. Either way, I still have a (scorching hot!) take on the subject. And by God, if you've already made it this far, then you're gonna hear it! Because I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL READ! I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL READ! I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL READ!

Yeah. Dumbest chant in all of sports. Oh yeah? You believe your'e gonna win!? What a novel concept!! And to take that one step further, it's really the chant of the "trophies and ribbons for everyone!!!" generation. I know that, because that's more or less my generation. Or at least that generation was in charge during my youth. Probably another reason why I don't like soccer. Trying to make me feel unnecessarily shameful, and whatnot. Due to my Teddish peers, their Teddish parents, and their myriad of Teddish tendencies. Not to mention their penchant for "participation"....

Yeah. And BOOM goes any sort of neutrality I may have just convinced you I had. Meh, whatever. Freakin' soccer...