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Friday, December 05, 2014

Week 14 Picks: To Chappelle and Back...


Christmas aside, we've reached a magical time of year. The baseball hot stove is boiling over, college basketball is beginning to percolate, and the Boston sports talk yakkers are trying to remember what it was they'd been using to fill all of this early winter time the past few years (It's the B's and C's, guy kid!! The B's and C's!!!)...

And seeing that for me, baseball = Red Sox and college basketball = Syracuse, I've got a quick thought on both before I delve into my picks. And they are as follows...

The Red Sox: This offseason is proving once and for all that this ownership has no real plan, other than making sure their product makes them money. They're in the business of using duct tape to fix their money machine, rather than even attempting to make reasonable repairs that could right the ship for years to come. I know, I sound like some rich Ted complaining about a scuff on his Bentley. But here we are...

AND

Syracuse: Chris McCullough and Rakeem Christmas have been great. And they're going to make the Orange tough to handle on the interior. But without improved guard play (namely from Kaleb Joseph and Mike Pinner J), especially at the end of games, it's going to be tough for Syracuse to win many games against any legitimate competition. AKA The ACC...

So there we have all of that. And yep, I'm basically a spoiled child. Now, it's onto the picks! Complete with two WHOLE Dave Chappelle references in order to justify the random title I decided to use. They're good ones, though. So there's always that...

Enjoy...


Week 14 Picks

New England Patriots (-3.5) @ San Diego Chargers

Could the world beating Patriots possibly lose two games in a row? No, no they couldn't. And they won't, so bet the farm. OR in failing that, bet the manger. Because, you know. Christmas imagery and whatnot. Just don't bet the magical baby. Decent chance you're gonna need that somewhere down the road...


Baltimore Ravens (+3) @ Miami Dolphins

The Ravens were set to be one of my top picks this week...then Haloti Ngata got dinged for Adderall, and Justin Forsett and Torrey Smith just flat out got dinged. I still fancy their chances of running all over a Miami defense that even the Jets ran all over, though. So I'll take the points, and run the risk of having to rip Flaccid in the wake of a disconcerting loss. Ooof, then again maybe not. Not if I'm going to have to say "ripping Flaccid" again. That just sounds painful, right there...


Pittsburgh Steelers (+3.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals

The Steelers aren't exactly the picture of health, either. With Big Ben having nailed his hand on a helmet during last week's loss to the Saints. But this should be a late season divisional rock fight, and I'd be happy taking either of these teams if they were being spotted 3+ points. Hence, my pick of the Steelers. I also expect AJ Green to shred the Pittsburgh secondary. SO there's that, too...


Indianapolis Colts (-3.5) @ Cleveland Browns

One person I don't expect to be shredding any suspect secondaries, is Brian Hoyer. Matter of fact, I was set to pick the underdog Browns as one of my top picks if they had actually decided to start...wait for it...JOHN MANZIEL! Yep. Not sure what that says about me, OR what it says about the Browns. But it's certainly somethin'. And I think that without the aforementioned John Football the FIRST, the Browns will prove as little more than a speedbump on the Colts' road to the playoffs...


Kansas City Chiefs (+1.5) @ Arizona Cardinals

QUICK! Who can collapse first?!?

My money is on the team with the dinged up offense. Though if we're talking about which head coach will collapse first, then I'll take Andy Reid. Because, you know. The Diabeetus...


Philadelphia Eagles (-1) vs Seattle Seahawks

And on Sunday night, I'm grabbing the Eagles. Mostly because their offense is just playing that well. But mostly because it's a prime time game. And their usually suspect defense tends to play way over their heads during prime time games. They're like the Rajon Rondo of this. Maddeningly inconsistent, and frustrating to home fans. Yet casual fans don't ever understand the beef, because every time they see them, they're kicking anes and taking names. Which almost rhymes. And you KNOW that almost rhymes...

You've also probably realized that I've made a mistake, and confused the fact that the Patriots are actually playing on Sunday night. Probably because I listed them first, when I normally list the SNF game last. Meh, whatever. SAMSON SIMPSON, I STICK TO MY STORY! Or something like that...



As for the rest of the Sunday slate, here is my even more half assed advice for your perusing pleasure. Including my prediction that JJ Watt will outscore the Jaguars all by himself. Either that, or the underrated Jaguars D will keep the game much closer than I anticipaTed. But, whatever. Watt is still a monster. And I'd currently make him my pick for MVP. Narrowly over Aaron Rodgers, with DeMarco Murray a distant third...


Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+10) @ Detroit Lions

New York Giants (+1.5) @ Tennessee Titans

Minnesota Vikings (-6) vs New York Jets

New Orleans Saints (-10) vs Carolina Panthers

St. Louis Rams (-2.5) @ Washington Tedskins

Houston Texans (-5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Denver Broncos (-10) vs Buffalo Bills

San Francisco 49ers (-8) @ Oakland Raiders


Monday Night

Green Bay Packers (-11.5) vs Atlanta Falcons

And on Monday night, when this game is actually being played, I like the Packers to continue to roll. Mostly because they do what it do, especially at home. But mostly because the Falcons can't defend. And that's never a good trait to have (or lack) when heading outside to face the hottest passer in the game. Unless you're Florida St. Because that seems like it would make for a good opportunity to shave a few points...


Last Week: 13-11-0

Overall: 107-111-1 (.491)


And speaking of those point shaving Seminoles, I'll like them to continue that trend this week as I close out yet another winning season picking the NCAA top 25. Wait. Oh, OK. Just wanted to make sure I couldn't lose all of these games and somehow finish below .500. And I can't! Weeeeeee!...

Should be an entertaining weekend, though. You know, at least until the Cunnulingus Rice and the selection committee make it all for naught just a few days later. CHING CHONG CHANG! WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! At least we wish we couldn't...


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(14) Missouri (+14.5) vs (1) Alabama

(12) Georgia Tech (+4) vs (2) Florida St.

(8) Arizona (+14.5) @ (3) Oregon

Iowa St. (+34) @ (4) TCU

(9) Kansas St. (+7.5) @ (5) Baylor

(6) Ohio St. (+4) vs (11) Wisconsin

Oklahoma St. (+20) @ (18) Oklahoma

Fresno St. (+21.5) @ (21) Boise St.



Last Week: 7-7-0

Overall: 71-56-3 (.558)


And there you have it, friends. Hope you enjoyed huffing on my contribution to the ether, and I'll catch you Teds next time...

Be good...


#BAGSMUNMAN

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