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Friday, January 10, 2014

Divisional Picks: Wicked LeBetahded...


You know what would be hilariously appropriate? If, amid all the various problems this country is having, Congress launched an investigation into the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame voting process. Because that's how ludicrous this whole process has become. I mean, at it's core, it's merely a chance for a voter to create a platform from which to espouse their own particular agenda. An agenda that's controversial by design, and does nothing but weaken the voting process and diminish the meaning of being voted into the Hall. It's a shame, too. Because this should always be about celebrating the players that were voted in, rather than the Teds whose purely selfish motives have tried to keep them out...

You really want to fix the voting process? Then create a committee and have them meet and vote IN PERSON at a yearly meeting. THEN we'll see if those same computer tough guys will actually have the stones to say "Yeah, I'm voting for JT Snow and Jacque Jones" to a room full of their peers. Because they won't. And while maybe all the "right" guys still won't get in, at least the process will have regained some dignity and respect. Because that's what the inductees should be getting. Respect for what they did for the game. And with each writer that decides to use their ballot to create their own straw man argument, a little bit of that shine is taken off the bust...

That goes for Dan LeBeTard, too. I'll admit, I liked the fact that someone gave their vote to Deadspin in an attempt to mock the process. But when that someone had their own platforms (radio/TV shows) from which they could have attempted to take the process to task, but instead just passed the buck? Well, then that I just can't get behind. Either use your power, give it up, or just keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, you're more contributing to the chaos you claim to loathe than you are actually bringing to light what is a very flawed process. And that's one of the major issues. Even guys trying to "fix" this thing, like LeBeTard was, can't do it without doing other outlandish things that destroy their credibility. It's just a clusterfuck, is what it is. And frankly I've already wasTed too much time writing about it...

Props to the the 3 that were voted in, though. Three of the best in my lifetime, and all deserving of being voted in on their first trip. Kind of like Robbie Alomar. Oh, wait. He spit on a guy and had to wait a year. Yeah, the Hall of Fame is a sham. Fix the voting process already, you rat bastards. So we can actually go back to enjoying this thing, again. But you won't, because you're headline seeking rat bastards. And until that philosophy changes, this type of luke warm reaction to what should be an historic event will remain the status quo. And it won't change. So, yeah. Spoiler alert...

Now let's see if I can spoil these playoff games for ya with some spot on predictions. SPOILER ALERT: I wont'. But let's do this, anyway. It'll be fun. SPOILER ALERT: Meh. Maybe...

Divisional Picks

Indianapolis Colts (+7.5) @ New England Patriots + OVER 51

We'll start with the Patriots, because that's where we always start. Coming off their bye, they should be well rested. But that double edged sword means they're playing a team that's coming off of a win. Which is never a comforting thought. Especially when it's a win as emotional and confidence building as the one Indy just nabbed over KC...

That being said, I'm still picking the Patriots to pull this one out. I just can't in good faith lay that many points when the opponent has built their reputation solely on their ability to come back against quality opponents. And if Indy happens to be winning late? Well, then the original captain of the comeback will likely lead his troops to within range of a Stephen Gostokowski field goal and a very Patriot like 3 point win. Either way, this one should be close. At least ultimately. So take the points, and fade towards the OVER in anticipation of a late flurry of points...


New Orleans Saints (+9.5) @ Seattle Seahawks + UNDER 46.5

Three things:

1) EVERYONE is just GIVING this game to Seattle

2) This is the most points a Drew Brees led Saints team have EVER been spotted

AND

3) At least one 8+ point underdog wins on the road outright EVERY YEAR.


Not sure where I heard that last part, but it's true. At least in terms of recent playoff history. At least that's what the person I trusted at the time but can't remember said. So, yeah. Apparently the Saints are going to win. Unless they don't, in which case you won't remember any of this, anyway...


San Francisco 49ers (pick) @ Carolina Panthers + UNDER 41.5

Same thing here. I'm not going against the public by picking the Niners (even though the line has now moved 2.5 points to a pick), but I am going against the grain by thinking that this won't be the weekend's most hotly contested game. The team's pedigree and the betting line suggest it should be, but that consensus doesn't figure to stand up. The Niners are too talented and experienced, even for a vastly improved Panther squad...

And for those that want to point to Carolina's 10-9 @ San Francisco 8 weeks ago? That's cool. But Michael Crabtree didn't play in that game, and Vernon Davis only had one catch for 2 yards. Cite the stingy Panther if you must. And they did a great job holding Kaepernick to just 91 yards on 22 attempts. But if you think that defense is getting even a shadow of the same offense they saw in week 10, then I'd have to argue that you're in for a rude awakening come Sunday. Not saying they'll march into Charlotte and blow Carolina out. But I am saying that Michael Crabtree is worth at least two points. So 10-9 becomes 11-10. OR whatever. Maybe he gets a safety, somehow. But you get it...

Crabernicking. It'll be a thing, soon. Probably involve walking like a crab. OR maybe, if we're lucky, it'll actually end up looking something like this...


San Diego Chargers (+9.5) @ Denver Broncos + OVER 52.5

"Nnnnnnnnn. PEPPERMINT ROLL!!!"

That was the winner in the Deadspin caption contest when this GIF originally came out. Pretty sure it's from the game when the Chargers beat the Broncos, too. But wherever it's from, it's great. And not since buttfumble has a GIF so accurately captured a person so completely...

As for the game. I'm pretty sure that I'll end up being a week late in hopping on the Chargers' bandwagon, but I'm willing to risk it. Mostly because I want to be on the winning side should Peyton Mannning lose. He of the 9-11 playoff record. I don't really think it's going to happen, and would probably avoid this game altogether were I to actually bet. But since I don't, I'm taking the OVER too. Mostly because I'm greedy. But mostly because I figure Peyton might just get 52 himself if he gets on a roll. Whether or not that roll will be of the peppermint variety? Well, we'll have to tune in to see that. Though Peyton strikes me more like a pizza roll type of guy. You know, because of the Papa Johns' connection. Yeah, you knew...

"Nnnnnnnnnnn. PEPPERONI ROLL!!!"


Last Week: 2-4-0

Overall: 145-128-10 (.532)


NCAA Picks

Wrapped up the college picks, last week, by going a perfect 3-0. I give all the credit to Nina Agdal, whose picture I posted along with my picks to honor her being Miss Jnuary in my SI Swimsuit calendar. So, as a thank you to both me and her. Here's that luscious 21 year old Dane sporting only a bikini bottom and a visor. Obviously caught her mid round of topless beach golf. Well. Carry on, Nina. Unless of course you want to borrow one of my woods. Oh!

Yeah, I couldn't resist...

Last Week: 3-0-0

Overall: 73-60-4 (.547)


But that's it for me, friends. I'll have a new College Hoops Top 25, next week. And I'll be back on Friday with my Conference Championship picks. Until then, I'll be on Twitter...aggressively searching for a topless beach golf league to join...

Be good...


#BAGSMUNMAN

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