Friday, October 18, 2013

Week 7 Picks: Here's The Beef...

MOST WICKED EXCITING ALCS EVAHHHHH! It has been great, though. Great pitching, timely hitting. And I'd be saying that whether or not the Sox were taking a 3-2 lead back home, as that's just the type of purist Ted that I am. But thankfully, that's not the case. What is the case, is that I'll likely be missing game 6 and if necessary, a game 7, due to a wedding of a big New York Yankees fan! Freaking sons of bitches. Even when they beat that team they end up coming back to screw me. Whatever. If I know me, and I do, this will all probably be for the best. And by "for the best", I obviously mean that I'll end up with a great story about my own personal misery that's virtually guaranteed to entertain...

Freakin' Yankees. Oh, and I'll be missing the majority of these games I'm about to pick, too. So there's that. Let this serve as a reminder to you all that early October is not the most ideal time to throw a wedding. At last not if you don't want to end up feeling the wrath of a cellar dweller with too much free time on his hands. OR pretty much anyone from the south...or the likes baseball. Yeah, just don't do it. Get married in the Summer. Sure, it's hot as shit, and you'll likely end up sweating through your suit. But, whatever. Small price to pay. You know, for avoiding the wrath, and whatnot...

Bastards. Always ruinin' my well crafTed lifestyle. Well, whatever. Let's pick some games. Enjoy, Teds...

Week 7 Picks

New England Patriots (-4) @ New York Jets

The butt fumble really has nothing to do with the two teams that the rest of you are going to get see play on Sunday, but that doesn't mean it's still not one of the most hilariously appropriate moments in the history of sports. I mean, his head went right into the other guy's butt! That's never not funny...

Oh, and while this game should be close, I'm leaning Patriots with the number because of the alleged RETURN OF THE GRONK! WHERE'S THE BEEF?!?! THERE'S THE BEEF!!! No, but his return should help...

Chicago Bears (pick) @ Washington Tedskins

My Bears still aren't getting any respect. Which makes sense, because they're the Bears and they have a coach from the CFL. Not to mention that mercurial Marlboro Man, up there. Whatever. They're better than Washington. And while the Tedskins may reek of desperation to the point where they should probably win this game, I'm just not buying it. Which is kinda how my explanation sounded for my pick of the Colts over the Chargers last Monday night. So, you know. Grain of salt/you should probably do as I really say, not as I really do...

Carolina Panthers (-6) vs St. Louis Rams

Kansas City Chiefs (-6.5) vs Houston Texans

Just a couple of favorites that are likely to hang big numbers on their undermanned opponents. OK, St. Louis isn't undermanned. They're just not very good. But Case Keenum against the league's best defense? Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and lay those points...

Tennessee Titans (+4) vs San Francisco 49ers

San Diego Chargers (-7.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Did you know that teams are only 4-10-0 against the spread in games before they travel to London? I did, after I read that stat. And it's why I'm picking against the Niners and Jags. I mean, I probably wouldn't have needed much reason to pick against the Jags, anyway (they've only scored FIVE points at home!). But a trend with an extremely small sample size certainly helps boost the ole confidence. OR at the very least it gives me someone or something to blame when this all goes wrong. Much like I'm already blaming the trend-tards for last night's failed cover by the Arizona Cardinals...who almost ALWAYS cover at home against divisional opponents. Freakin' math...

Denver Broncos (-6.5) @ Indianapolis Colts

Jim Irsay is a huge Ted, and Peyton Manning is a pro's pro. And had Irsay not gone out of his way, this week, to say that he was "disappointed" with only one Super Bowl in with Peyton as his QB, I'd probably like his team to cover the points. But he did, so I don't. Because now he's virtually guaranteed that, if given the chance, Peyton and the Broncos will take the opportunity to run up the score. Not saying they're going to blow them out. I don't read that much into pre game smack talk. But I do think that it's just enough to have Peyton and friends want to add that extra, unnecessary score at the end that could very well end up result in them covering the number. And while it would be poetic justice for Manning to snap one last Manning-face up at Irsay after said score padding touchdown toss, I'm pretty sure class will ultimately win out. He is a pro's pro, after all...

Here's the rest of the slate. The "trends" also say that the Eagles are terrible ATS at home, and have beatgen teams that this season are only a grand total of 1-1. So, feel free to keep that in mind. Unless you've already found yourself stricken with Foles Fever OR determined that math is only for Teds like me that never like to trust their own instincts...

Atlanta Falcons (-7) vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Detroit Lions (-2.5) vs Cincinnati Bengals

Miami Dolphins (-8) vs Buffalo Bills

Dallas Cowboys (+3) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Green Bay Packers (-10) vs Cleveland Browns + UNDER 48

Pittsburgh Steelers (-1.5) vs Baltimore Ravens

Monday Night

New York Giants (-3) vs Minnesota Vikings

Speaking of Manning Faces, the one above might be the new leader in the clubhouse. Seriously, though. You ever think that Eli Manning is like, Andy Kauffman or something? Like he's really some uber comedic genius that's just doing this all so that he can laugh at us while we laugh at him? Yeah, probably not. But I'd rather think that than continue leaving in a reality where a man that often makes Slingblade faces when faced with any sort of adversity...

Last Week: 9-5-1

Overall: 44-44-5 (.500)

Big doins in Death Valley, this weekend. Naturally, I'll be missing out on it due the aforementioned wedding. But I hear it's supposed to be good times. As for the coed in the Golden Gopher top and the oddly appealing plaid thong? Well, she somehow surfaced in a Google Image search for Florida St. fans. You know, because I was looking for that legendary shot of soon to be Brett Favre victim, Jenn Sterger, and her bevy of buxom beauties. That is a nice lookin' thong, though. Sort of a "sexy Thanksgiving" vibe goin' on. Just replace that apple that's tucked in the corner to create that "naughty schoolroom" atmosphere with a cornucopia, and you're good to go. Gobble gobble? Gobble gobble...

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(3) Clemson (+3) vs (5) Florida St.

Mississippi (+6) vs (6) LSU

(24) Auburn (+14) @ ) Texas A&M

(9) UCLA (+5.5) @ (13) Stanford

Tennessee (+7.5) vs (11) South Carolina

(12) Baylor (-32) vs Iowa St.

(14) Missouri (+3.5) vs (22) Florida

West Virginia (+7) vs (16) Texas Tech

Arizona St. (-3) vs (20) Washington

(21) Oklahoma St. (-7) vs TCU

Illinois (+12.5) vs (25) Wisconsin

Last Week: 4-5-1

Overall: 25-27-3 (.482)

Enjoy games, friends. Because Lord knows I won't be able to. Freakin' Yankees fans...



Jeffer Shen said...

In a lengthy fantasy collection, Pharrell will be reincarnated since Franz Ernest My partner and i, chanel replica the particular Emperor regarding Austria, although Delevingne takes on his / her better half, Empress Elisabeth "Sisi" regarding Austria. Cue a great imperial waltz, chanel replica using a Pharrell-soundtracked perspective. In the stunning counterpoint to be able to his / her politically-charged SS15 present which usually dispatched designs rioting straight down the particular runway, Karl Lagerfeld looked to old-school Austrian brilliance regarding Chanel’s Pre-AW15 Métiers d’Art present. Emerge a great 18th millennium Salzburg development (today any chanel replica high end motel), the particular close salon-style present utilized directly into Austrian folklore, standard outfit as well as the noble natural splendor with the region’s nights regarding empire, together with Reincarnation, any motion picture offering Cara Delevingne and also Pharrell, intended to accentuate the particular assortment. Designs integrated Dazed louis vuitton replica uk protect celebrities Natalie Westling, Binx Walton, Jamie Bochert and also Kendall Jenner, which sealed the particular present provide inside provide together with Delevingne.

Gege Dai said...

ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses outlet
ray ban outlet
kate spade handbags
michael kors
oakley sunglasses outlet
ed hardy clothing outlet
longchamp outlet online
sac louis vuitton
soccer jerseys for sale
cheap snabacks
chanel handbags
oakley sunglasses wholesale
burberry outlet online
toms shoes sale
michael kors uk
louis vuitton borse
chanel online shop
ray ban glasses
replica watches for sale
coach outlet online
air jordan uk
kate spade new york
true religion outlet
michael kors bags
michael kors outlet
retro jordans
hollister kids
michael kors outlet online
louboutin femme
jorda femme pas cher
abercrombie & fitch
longchamp pliage pas cher
abercrombie and fitch
coach factory outlet

Wlp W said...

Little tory burch more coach outlet store online than five levi's jeans minutes true religion after converse shoes the arrival of louboutin outlet the open boat, nike store Cleve Verney set his foot upon calvin klein the rude woolrich sale landing place, as adidas old new balance perhaps nike store as the Priory oakley outlet itself; moncler mens jackets a clumsy little pier, nike roshe run constructed of great iphone cases rocks, mac cosmetics overgrown nike free run with sea-rack, oakley over chanel handbags which cheap true religion slippery new balance platform he strode ugg boots clearance with reckless haste, and up by omega watches that steep nfl jerseys and ralph lauren outlet pretty kate spade little winding yoga pants lane, the trees north face overhanging bcbg dresses which mont blanc pens look centuries old, swarovski stooping burberry outlet and air max mantled in ivy. chanel They may have

chenlina said...

mont blanc pens
nike trainers
cheap oakley sunglasses
hermes uk
insanity workout
pandora bracelets
cheap jordans
ralph lauren
longchamp pas cher
north face uk
ugg boots clearance
north face
toms outlet
adidas originals
hollister uk
pandora charms
jordan shoes
nike air max 90
kate spade uk
nike air huarache
tommy hilfiger outlet
nike sb
coach factory outlet
cheap versace
ed hardy clothing
oakley sunglasses
gucci borse
christian louboutin shoes
rolex replica watches
cheap uggs
nike store uk
tod's shoes
nike free runs
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
ray bans
ghd hair straighteners
christian louboutin outlet
longchamp outlet
mcm handbags

John said...

michael kors outlet online
gucci outlet
nike flyknit racer
cheap nfl jerseys
longchamp bag
cheap jordans
nike air max 90
true religion sale
nike cortez
louis vuitton borse
lebron james shoes 2016
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
nike cortez white
louis vuitton outlet online
nmd adidas
jimmy choo outlet
lacoste shoes
coach outlet online
prada outlet
cheap nike shoes
oakley vault sunglasses
sac longchamp
air max 95
michael kors handbags
adidas shoes uk
micahel kors
coach outlet online
yeezy boost 350
stephen curry shoes
louis vuitton uk
nike huarache
hermes uk
ray ban sunglasses

mmjiaxin said...

nfl jerseys
tiffany and co outlet
tiffany and co uk
tiffany and co jewelry
ralph lauren uk
adidas tubular
cheap air jordan
air jordan shoes
michael kors handbags clearance
nike air huarache
huarache shoes
jordan shoes
huaraches shoes
cheap authentic jordans
fitflop shoes
nike polo shirts
kobe sneakers
yeezy boost 350
michael kors outlet
kobe shoes,kobe zoom,kobe byrant shoes
tiffany jewelry
jordan retro

dong dong23 said...

cheap jordans
ugg boots
louis vuitton outlet
ugg boots sale
kevin durant shoes 8
canada goose coat
toms outlet
burberry outlet
michael kors outlet
uggs on sale
toms shoes outlet
true religion outlet
ugg boots
ugg australia
mont blanc pens
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
ralph lauren uk
gucci outlet
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
hollister outlet
adidas originals
louis vuitton outlet
celine handbags
canada goose jackets
michael kors outlet
nhl jerseys
nike tn pas cher
moncler jackets
coach outlet store online
adidas superstar
canada goose coats
ray ban pas cher
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses

raybanoutlet001 said...

michael kors handbags outlet
fitflops shoes
ed hardy
ralph lauren pas cher
nike huarache
oakley sunglasses
air jordan uk
jordan shoes
louis vuitton pas cher
cheap michael kors handbags

龙大猫 said...

yeezy boost
adidas ultra boost uncaged
nike polo shirts
hogan outlet online
huarache shoes
adidas superstar shoes
yeezy boost 350
michael kors factory outlet
nike dunks

caiyan said...

louis vuitton outlet online
kate spade outlet
longchamp bags
fit flops
yeezy boost 350
swarovski crystals
tommy hilfiger outlet
moncler uk
true religion jeans outlet
michael kors outlet

Post a Comment