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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bow's 'N The Hood...


The most polarizing player in the NFL was just picked up by arguably the league's most polarizing coach/GM, and the backlash from the Boston Bruins' bandwagon has been harsh and swift. Yep, you read that right. Now let's go...


From the second it hit Twitter (where news breaks, by the way) that Tim Tebow was signing with the New England Patriots, the reaction from Pats fans has been overwhelmingly negative. Which would be fine, if I could actually understand the reasoning being tossed about as to why Bill B Hoodsworth and crew should have left him to languish on the off season scrap heap. Reasons like...

1. He's not a good QB

Fantastic. That's why he's 3rd on the depth chart. You show me the 3rd string QB that doesn't suck, and I'll buy you a Coke. Or some coke, even. Either way, I'm only spending $1.29. So either prepare your thirst to be quenched, or your get your nose ready to shovel in some crushed Ritalin and Ajax...

Oh, and why on earth everyone is focusing on Tebow being the short yardage QB is beyond me. Especially when their argument is "BRADY IS THE BEST AT SNEAKIN' GUY GUY KID GUY!!!" Yeah, no shit. And you think Belichick doesn't know that? OR that he wants to remove Tom from those situations where he's been highly successful? OR that he even wants to take Tom off the field at all?! Of course he doesn't. At least, he's never been tempted to in the past. And this is a guy that's had a converted QB (Edelman) on his roster for years now...

So, forget whatever reports you're currently hearing. If he makes the team, he won't be taking playing time from Tom Brady. Not on 4th and 1, not on 1st and 10. So get those thoughts out of your head.. I'm not saying he's gonna be some God-sent-do-it-all-player, either. I just know he won't be taking any playing time away from Tom Terrific. Which for whatever reason seems to be one of the leading topics of discussion...


2. He'll create a media circus

Oh, you mean just like Ochocinco did? Right. Yeah, that never happened with Chad, and it won't happen with Tim. It's easy to forget now, after his fall from grace, but Ochocinco was the biggest circus in town, and that all came to a screeching halt once he came to New England. I'll submit that Tim's circus is even bigger, but I still think it would take a major altering in "The Patriot Way" for him to even be allowed to become any sort of legitimate distraction. Needless to say, I don't see that happening...

Also, just a little free tip. If you stop watching SportsCenter, Tebow-mania stops being an issue. And take it from someone who likes sports more than those people in your Facebook feed love their dogs & kids. You don't need to watch a second of the show I've deemed "Highlights for Housewives" to remain in the know. The Interweb, that's all you need. Twitter, more specifically. But you already knew that...

3. He's taking up a roster spot

Yeah, he's taking up spot 85 thru 90, or somethin'. Which would make this the first time you, or anyone else not being paid by Robert Kraft, ever worried about someone that deep on the roster. Even if he makes the final cut (something I by no means assuming will happen), he'd be one of the last picks (since they can only keep 2 QBs like last year if they so choose). Again making it the first time you've ever worried about someone that deep on the roster. So, that argument just doesn't hold much weight with me. Even if you can use it to point to a more obvious position of need like wide receiver...

Oh, and I'd be saying the same thing if you could show me a receiver offering the same type of risk/reward ratio. That's the key, here. And I can't stress that enough. There's no real risk, and the reward could be great. That combination will get you a shot at playing for my team any day of the week and twice on Sunday. As long as it doesn't interfere with churhc services, of course...

This better work...
But, forget all that. You and I know what this is really about, and it's the fact that people don't want to swallow their pride. A lot of people in this town relentlessly piled on Tebow and his inadequacies, and now they have to justify the fact that Belichick, the man they've hailed as a genius, has brought this perceived joker into New England's cherished inner circle...

It's like what that Owen Wilson lookin' John Henry said to Billy Beane at the end of Moneyball. Tebow coming here is threatening the way people think. And in the case of all the talking heads in this town that almost all unanimously went out of their ways to hate on Tebow, it's threatening their livelihoods. Then again, they've all effectively flip flopped on hockey without anyone apparently noticing, and that's an entire sport. So I'm sure doing so on just one player probably shouldn't prove too difficult. And, no. I'm not under the delusion that anyone in the Boston sports media is going to get fired for previously hating on Tebow. Though I'm also not short on reasons as to why many of them should be shown the door...

Now, everything I've written to this point probably has you thinking that I'm some sort of big Tim Tebow fan. Something that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm Agnostic, so I don't like that he pushes his religious beliefs. And I prefer pocket passers, so I don't like his style of play. What I do like, is that Bill Belichick seems to like him. More to the point, I like him because Bill seems to like him for the same reasons I do. Ya know, reasons based on reality and results rather than rants by Skip Bayless and Mike Francesa...

And honestly, what I might like even more, is that the signing was just the latest in a string of F-U's that Belichick has given to someone allegedly reporting on his though process. "I hate Tebow, huh? Nope, I hate Teds that report shit that flat out isn't true or was shared in confidence. You rat bastard...". Freakin' Bill. You really have to love him. OR hate him. But either way, that salty man evokes some passionate reactions and opinions. Something i don't think professional sports has nearly enough of, these days...


As for Tim Tebow the player. I think we all know what he can't do. And that's be a starter in any offense that's not built around him. And while that's not exactly am encouraging trait, I don't think it's reason enough to write him off as a possible contributor. I think that's why Bill brought him in, too. To possibly contribute. If he can't? Well, then he can't. But at this point of the off season, and for such little money, I really don't view the move as much of a gamble. Whether you think he's a completely inept football player, or not...

I mean, seriously. What's the worst case scenario, here? That he comes in and gets cut? OR that runs a few failed plays and then gets cut during the season? Do you really think he's occupying a roster spot that could go to a guy that's really going to help this team? That's where I'm at. There really is no downside, here. Especially when you rightly assume that Bill Belichick is going to negate the media circus. Meanwhile, the upside is that you could be adding a player that could potentially allow you flexibility at multiple positions, OR at the very least, allow you to run some plays that you previously couldn't run...

And let's be real, here. Tebow is going to show up, work hard, say all the right things, and be completely embraced by the same now toothless media base that's been ripping him for all these years. Except for maybe Michael Felger, who will continue to hate on him because that's what he does...

Tebow is here, kids. And I say embrace him. Not simply because you've chosen to blindly believe in the power of THE HOOD, but because the reward of signing Tebow to your team far outweighs any perceived risk. A decision that, we in the real world like to refer to as, a "no brainer". And if that's not enough for you, then take solace in the fact that this move has made the rest of the NFL's fans hate the Patriots even more than was ever thought possible. And let's be honest, from the die hard to the Pink Hat, we here in the New England sport scene love nothing more than to be despised because of our crafty excellence. So at the very least we've got that goin' for us, which is nice...

Gunga la gunga, friends. And I'll catch you next week...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

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