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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Box of Docs...


Have the Los Angeles Clippers actually done something right? Meh, it's probably still far too early to start giving them credit. But I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway. Ya know, because it will help me make my undoubtedly controversial, yet familiar point....

So, I'll do that. Along with the usual smattering of whatnot that I tend to enjoying hurling in your general direction. Hahaha Hurl. What a great word...

OK, enjoy...


Say, in some fantastic universe, either Lindsay Lohan or Kate Upton happen to accept my seed in an unthinkable act of mutual love. Then, let's say that act translates into the birth of a child. OK, the Kate Upton and Lindsay Lohan parts are insignificant. Just wanted to put you through having to at the very least fight off the image of me and one of them in the throws of passion...

OK, so let's say I had a kid. And let's say this kid sucked at math. It would make sense to go out and get him a math tutor, right? Sure it would. Now, let's say right after I hire this math tutor, it becomes obvious to me that this guy isn't as good as his resume led me to believe. However, right as he arrives to help boost the math, my kid's English scores start to go through the roof! And the next thing you know, my miracle Upton/Lohan spawn gets college offers from all over based on the excellent scores and inherent ability...
I'm no 'child bearing hips' expert...
Great news, right? Not only was I able to bed two buxom beauties, but now I've got this super kid that's getting a free ride. Seems like a good deal for those involved. Except the math tutor, who really didn't do shit...

Stupid analogy? Perhaps. But it more or less sums up my feelings on Doc Rivers, and why I think it's asinine for the Clippers, or any other team, to not just trade for Doc, but trade for any NBA coach in general. Doc was brought in to Boston being hailed as a molder of young men, someone who would do wonders with the young roster and instill some fundamentals. The result? The team was so bad under Doc's watch (102-144) that they eventually had to purposely lose in order to have a better shot at drafting that final young piece to the puzzle. Either Greg Oden, or Kevin Durant...

Then, as is their wont, the ping pong balls bounced a funny way, and neither player would be their for the taking. To his credit, Danny Ainge made all the right moves, assembled a team of talented veterans, and the rest is history. Great news, right? Yeah, sure. Until all of a sudden the guy brought in to tutor the math was getting credit for all of the success with the English...

And this isn't just me not liking Doc Rivers. Obviously, I don't think much of him as a coach (having a .460 career winning % before Ray Allen & KG will do that to a fella). But it's more a commentary on the NBA in general, and how by and large the head coach has become useless. It's ALL about the players, in that league. And anyone denying that need only ask Phil Jackson. One of the most decorated coaches in the history of organized sports, he'd be the first to tell you that the overriding key to success in the NBA is the talent of your players. And this isn't exactly a guy that's known to be short on ego. Hence, why he only dips in and out of the league at his leisure, and only seems interested when presented with a roster already on the cusp. He knows that he needs great players to win. And I have trouble believing that anyone watching today's NBA can possibly think any different. Really? A coach is going to turn a team around? Hell, Larry Brown was the master of that shit, and where did it get him? I'll tell you where it got him. It got him fired every 3-4 years. Yeah, because turnarounds that aren't aided by a massive influx of talent are destined to stall. Just like the one in Boston had already done before the arrival of Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett...

Even Big Chief Triangle knows a coach can only do so much...

That's why trading for a coach in this day in age just doesn't make any sense. Even if you somehow think he's the final piece. Because guess what? He's not. I know it's a nearly impossible point to prove; that a team would have won or lost with a different coach. But I don't think it's too big a leap to make in regards to the NBA when you just look at how it's always the team with the most talented players that are left standing. Yeah, I realize that's the way it is with nearly every sport. But while I tend not to give much credit to any coach or manger outside of the NFL, I just happen to be of the opinion that in the NBA they're marginalized even more. Hence, why I think the Clippers would be wise to continue to distance themselves from Glenn Rivers MD, and simply pick their new coach from the oft used former coach scrap heap (or take the Nets route and hire a "players coach" AKA softy, like Jason Kidd). After all, isn't that where the Celtics found Doc in the first place? Exactly. And after he'd been fired from a 1-10 Orlando Magic team, no less...

I'm all about giving credit where I believe credit is due. And in the NBA, virtually all the credit should be given to the players and the GM. You want to watch great coaches do their thing? Watch college basketball, where the argument there is if their coaches have too much power and influence. The polar opposite of the NBA. AKA One of the reasons why I remain a huge fan of that sport. But if you really think that coaching in the NBA is all that important. Well, that's your prerogative. But the next time a team wins mainly on the strength of their coach will be the first time. At least in this era. And the man they call "Doc" most definitely won't be the one responsible...

Now, moving on to the aforementioned smattering...


A few Teds on Atlanta sports talk thought it was a good idea to joke about former NFLer Steve Gleason and his ALS. They were promptly fired, but as has already been pointed out, the fact the skit was even allowed to air just serves as another example of the poor business model many sports media outlets are currently employing. You know, the same business model that caused Howie Schwab and others to get the ax at ESPN? It's officially become "throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what sticks", and there's no room left for facts or integrity...

If I sound bitter, it's because I am. Not because obvious hacks like the ones in Atlanta continuously get gigs I want, but because the state of the industry continues to deteriorate faster than the meteoric level at which it rose. And while I get that these are businesses meant to be run for profit, they're also business that used to make that money by catering to their audience rather than attempting to intentionally shove a substandard product down their throats. I wish I could say "Like a piece of 'Cold Pizza'", there. But I actually like cold pizza. The food, not that show where Sceramin' A and Skip Bayless try to deny the fact that they're about to open mouth hate kiss at any second. That shit is still terrible...

I've often said that the sports media industry has become too bloated with people that have been "given fish" rather than those that actually know how to catch it. And as long as that remains the preferred method of business, things like this will continue to happen. But that's OK, because the ratings are still good. Something I happen to think is a great testament to the viewing public. And of course by that, I mean get a clue people. And start holding your media members accountable before they go and start making jokes about a charitable man with a deadly disease...


I've said all year that the Red Sox will more or less go as far as their front line starting pitching will take them, and this week it's more of the same. More to the point, the key remains the performance of Jon Lester (and of course the health of Clay Buchholz). He continues to be up in the zone, and it's causing him to get lit up on a regular basis. Needless to say, that's no good. And while this team has been very fun to watch, and I'll continue to enjoy their aggressive style of play. I won't allow my hopes to get up there until I see Jon Lester start to pitch like the Cy Young candidate we all know he's capable to being...

And seeing Clay Buchholz go a month without tweaking something wouldn't hurt, either...

A few thoughts from the entertainment world:



I've been eagerly awaiting the trailer for Marty and Leo's latest (not to mention Terry Winter of Sopranos & Boardwalk Empire fame), The Wolf of Wall Street. And unlike The Great Gatsby, it didn't disappoint. I'll let you watch it and judge for yourself, but as predicted this is shaping up to be a must see. Which is great, because I'd actually like to go to the theater again. And while I briefly thought I'd heading there for This Is The End, I've been told that while it's funny, I'm better off conserving my funds. Except for the person who told me it might be the funniest movie they've ever seen. A proclamation I can't help but think they'd retract when faced with the likes of Caddyshack or What About Bob?...

This looks really good, though. And that's a relief. Only so many times I can re-watch what's on my DVR. Although The Dark Knight Rises has made a rather nice addition after it's debut this past weekend. Bane just gets better every time. Such a sav...

This chick, joyfully getting it on, in a church. Seen it...
HBO's summer documentary series is up and running, and the early returns have been less than encouraging...

"Pussy Riot" was well done, in terms of style and substance. But I just couldn't really connect with the group's cause. As one of their detractors pointed out, they may have a good message, but they just aren't very effective protesters. That being said, you do get to see the hottest member of Pussy Riot completely nude and being mounted doggystyle in some sort of sketchy sex protest. So there's always that...


The second film in the series was "Love, Mariyln". A Mariyln Monroe retrospective with about 50 different celebrities, ranging from Lindsay Lohan to F. Murray Abraham, voicing and analyzing some of Mariyln's lost letters and correspondences in an attempt to piece together her mental state during the roller coaster ride that was her improbable career. And that's the problem with this one. Too many voices. It does do a great job to expose the lesser known facts surrounding how hard Mariyln worked to be an actress. But other than that, it's just far too busy trying to give everyone a turn at the mic to keep the average viewers attention for more than a few minutes. That being said, you do get to see Marilyn completely nude more than a few times in the film. So there's always that...

HBO: When in doubt, get 'em naked. AKA HBO: Putting the "Box" in Box Office since whenever the Hell it was founded...

I must say Mariyln's beauty continues to stand the test of time, though. That is, if you like buxom blondes that look like they actually eat steak from time to time. Which I obviously do. In fact, you might even say I have a soft spot for them...

...and by soft, I...OK, that's enough of that...

Teds need love, too...
Rounding things out with Mad Men. Pete Campbell might not have been shot in a hunting accident, as I'd predicted/hoped. But Kenny Cosgrove getting a face full of buckshot serves as a decent alternative. Otherwise, this came off as a blatant "calm before the storm" type episode, with not much going on other than Don's continued slide into depression. I'm also beginning to tire of the Ted/Peggy story line. Either bang already, or move on. I mean, if this were HBO, Peggy would be required to get naked OR be killed in next week's season finale. I'd obviously prefer the former, but I'd take the rather if it meant the end of what's a a rather uninteresting affair of the mind...

Must say I do enjoy Pete Campbell's recognition that he's got 'Dick Whitman Jr.' on his hands in the form of the ever creepy Bob Benson, though. His attempts to manipulate Bob while steering clear of his sexual advances will likely fail miserably because. Well, because he's still Pete Campbell. But it should be fun to watch him make a go of it while he and Bobby are on extended stay up in the notoriously romantic city of Detroit...


Hope you enjoyed, friends. I decided not to touch on Aaron Hernandez and his potential involvement in a local murder. But if there's any news surrounding that next week, you best believe you'll get my two cents. Thought as a betting man, I tend to believe there won't be. But, if there is. I'll be here. Eloquently mixing in my thoughts on the matter with photos of Kate Upton and my hatred for all things NHL and NBA. Hey, it's what I do. And I'm glad so many of you enjoy it so much that I'm still compelled to do it...

Now go enjoy your week. And I'll catch you next time...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

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