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Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Grilled Cheese & Whatnot: The Charles Ramsey Story...Kind Of...OK, Not At All...


I had two potential jumping off points for this week's post. It was either gonna be A) My All Time baseball team. An exercise where I put together a roster of my All Time favorite players and than attempt to explain to you why I picked them and why you should care. But I assembled the team in about 5 minutes, and had about as much fun making the list as I do picking gum off of my shoe. So I scrapped it. Ken Caminiti AND Raul Mondesi were in my starting lineup, though. If that does anything for ya. Unfortunately, Otis Nixon was not. Which, sadly enough, wasn't the worst piece of news he received this week...

Option B), was phrasing a potential debate on what is/are the defining characteristics that separate a "grilled cheese" from just a normal sandwich that just so happens to have cheese on it. But, once I realized that I was simply going to disagree and want to punch in the face every Ted simply claiming that any "grilled" sandwich with "cheese in it" fits the definition. So I scrapped that delicious option, as well. Right. Because Quizno's is Italian for "Grilled Cheese Emporium"...

So, here we are. No Raul Mondesi, and no grilled cheese. Thankfully, we do have Charles Ramsey. A man who, based on his actions, should from now on have his likeness appear in every dictionary next to the definition of the word, "American". That's not necessarily a compliment, mind you. But there are worse things a nation could be labeled than a bunch of barely literate fast food guzzlers. What? This is America. If you don't like "ribs and whatnot", then you can get the Hell out! Go enjoy your "lamb and tuna fish" in whatever country it is where they don't BBQ and dance to salsa music with their friendly neighborhood child abductor...

Now, obviously the kidnapping portion of this entire story isn't funny at all. But you gotta laugh where you can. And you have to laugh at Charles Ramsey. And not so much in a "point and laugh" sorta way. Though there's plenty of that going on. Nope, I'm laughing at and appreciating the fact that we live in a place where a criminal "mastermind" is just as likely to be busted by a couple of guys just funnelin' in some Mickey D's as they are by a SWAT team that's taken over your city and put it under marshal law. Not commenting as to whether or not one is more effective than the other. But it is interesting the mysterious ways in which this f'd up world of ours tends to work...

The man said, "May you live in interesting times". And thanks to characters like Charles Ramsey, it's pretty obvious that is indeed where we find ourselves. In interesting times. So, I'm going to take advantage of that fact and step away from the computer for a bit...

OK, I lied. I'm probably just going to go check my various fantasy teams. Either way, I'm done writing...and whatnot...

Enjoy the rest of your week, friends. And I'll catch you on the flipman. We'll dance to some salsa music. It'll be good times...


Teddy Williams...
100...

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