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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

From Mad-ness to Mad Men. Baseball & Boobs, Too...


OK, so let's get down to brass tacks. Did I think that was a terrible charging call against Brandon Triche? Yes, yes I did. Do I think that call was a major turning point in that game? Yes, yes I do. Do I think that call is the reason that the Orange didn't get a chance at their second National title? No, no I do not. I'll get into that (even though I basically just did), and talk about one of the greatest championship games I've ever seen, as we say goodbye to basketball and hello to the boys of Summer. It's not the smoothest of transitions, as even a very big fan of both I have to admit. But the gambling element helps smooth it over. As it's been known to do from time to time...

Gratuitous flesh seems to help too, in my experience. Which is why, even though Syracuse lost, I feel compelled to present you with these...

As long as you don't get it stuck in your head that those
are two alien babies dry humping under a tarp, then this is hot.
BLAAAHHHHOW!!!

Figured that was only appropriate after my promise of boobs coincided with the long awaited premiere of the 6th season of Mad Men. OK, so now we can move on...


I'll start with the title game, which as I've already said was one of the more enjoyable that I can ever remember. Sure, Duke/Butler had that great finish, but this was a better overall game. And what was most remarkable about it, is that despite Spike Albrecht's best attempt at transforming into Gerry McNaMichigan, Louisville never lost touch and was able to keep the game close. That allowed them to withstand the storm, and eventually pull out the win. You just kept watching Michigan hit shot after shot and rain 30 footer after 30 footer, only to then notice that Louisville was only down 5 or 7. You knew the Wolverines couldn't keep that hot shooting up all game, and when they finally began to falter, the Cardinals were there to step on their throats...

And honestly, I couldn't have asked for much more. Two of the best teams all season went at it for 40 minutes, and the team that probably should have won, ended up walking away with the title. Pretty fitting ending to a very entertaining season, if you ask me. And you did, which is why I provided that answer...

My one beef would actually be with Final Four Most Outstanding Player, Luke Hancock. I mean, that's a nice enough beard and all. And I love me some set shooting white guys. But the way he draws fouls is straight up embarrassing. And to have him then be rewarded for such shady tactics isn't really my idea of a fitting end to an amazing run. It's minor, I know. But whatever. It's still beat, and he deserves to be called out for it. Would have much rather seen the MOP award go to that Methed out ferret we lovingly refer to as "Russ-diculous". I don't care if he had a great Final Four, or not (his #s in the final were actually quite terrible). He's the difference maker on that team, and he should have been rewarded properly. Disappointed to hear that he'll be heading to the NBA, if for no other reason than I'll have to find another player to refer to as a Methed out ferret...

As for Rick Pitino, whom the Boston media is suddenly interested in again? Dude's a legend. Hence, ya know. The Hall of Fame nomination. People in Boston don't like him for one reason and one reason only. He didn't win here. Boo freakin' hoo. He's 50 times the coach Glen Rivers MD is, it's just that he's 50 times a bigger prick, to boot. And you can't be a prick and coach an NBA team. At least not anymore. Coaches need players that will listen. You wanna call it "brainwashing" or whatever, fine. But college players listen, and professional players do not. Plain and simple. Not giving Rick anything resembling a pass, but the sport of basketball is a much better place with him in it. Especially if he's coaching in college, which I feel safe in saying will be the only thing we'll ever see him do...

So, yeah. The best team one, they did so in entertaining fashion. And it's even possible that had you taken my advice, you could even be swimming in some bracket loots, right now. Lord knows I am! OK, so I really only broke even. But that's better than nothing, right? And it's definitely better than refusing to hedge on last night's game, when it meant the difference of collecting a guaranteed $200 or going home penniless. A situation a certain "anonymous" person I know actually found himself in last night, and he refused to take the necessary action. For obvious reason, that Ted will remain nameless. Mostly because I don't want you to know that I actually associate with such a person. But mostly because he's just a huge Cinnatick eating, Slammin' Salmon watchin' Ted...


Now, as for the Syracuse/Michigan game on Saturday. I don't really have much more to say. The better team won, all be it in a shady official-assisted way. And the thing i harped on all season as being the reason I didn't think Syracuse would succeed, their shaky offense, is what eventually did them in. Both literally, in the end, with that poor shot selection. And just overall, as they weren't nearly as effective offensively against Michigan as they had been against Indiana and Marquette...

If Kim K gets it, Lord
knows you Teds should...
But this isn't about me being right (for once). Largely, because I was more or less wrong. I undersold this team, and never saw this run coming. Shame on me? Nah. Nobody that watched this team should have reasonably seen this coming. But who cares? It was as improbable as it was enjoyable. And I'll forever be a better Syracuse fan for the experience. Probably won't stop me from telling you to target them as a prime upset victim in the early stages of next year's tournament. But that's because I'm a pessimistic bastard...

Eh, who am I kidding? I've already been reading scouting reports on recruits and looking ahead to the possible tournament runs to come. That's one of the great things about college basketball. In the pros, turnover is viewed as a negative thing. In college? It's just part of the process. Probably why it's so easy for me to let such a great season go so easily, and why I'm already eagerly looking forward to the possibility that 2014 will be even better...

Well, here's to hopin'. It'll be a tough act to follow, but I can't wait to see them try. And that goes for the whole sport, not just my Syracuse Orange. It truly was one of the best seasons in the sports' history, and it'll take a lot of cookouts and bikinis this Summer to keep me thoroughly distracted from the fact that the next version is still many months away. Baseball and horse racing will probably help, too. But let's not underestimate the power of some delicious breasts and thighs. On the grill, of course. Get your mind out of the gutter. Everyone knows it's tits 'n ass that fills a bikini...
 
Goldencents. Remember that name. OR don't, and let me be
the one to reap the sweet pone rewards...

Twitter Picks: 150-103-12 (.589)

Kind of limped home in terms of my Twitter picks, but that should only serve as another reminder as to why you shouldn't bet on sports. Unless of course you're betting against me because I suggesTed it OR if you;re in a win/win situation like the anonymous Ted mentioned above...

I'll be back to my wannabe degenerate ways come the Kentucky Derby and whatnot. But aside from that, it will be mostly quite on the Twitter betting front until the beginning of the football season. Because if betting on sports is stupid, then betting on baseball is criminally insane. Just save your money to bet on Pitino's horse come Derby time. Much safer investment. Especially if he can actually convince Bob Costas to take the reigns. That tiny, horse loving bastard...


As for baseball. And, more importantly, my Boston Red Sox. I'm looking forward to what should be a very enjoyable season. And no, I'm not just saying that because the Bean-Towners are off to a better than expecTed start. I've been a firm believer that if this team can pitch (mostly Lester & Buchholz), they can contend for one of the 14 playoff spots in the American League (because apparently this is the NHL). And so far, in a very limited sample size, that appears to be the case. But, this is a long season, as we all know. And as my friend John Sterling likes to say, "Baseball isn't like any of the other sports. It's different." Ahh, yes. Well put, John. Although I think you forgot to properly attribute that line to professor Timothy McCarver MDuhhhhhh...

As for the rest of the league, I'll say this. I like the inter-league play every day, and I bet a team from the NL East is going to win the World Series. And no, it's not the Marlins. Because it's obviously it's the Mets. And if you believe that one, I've got a Syracuse 2013 National Champions t-shirt I'd like to sell ya. No, seriously. Between all the 2003-2013 embroidery I had done, it was really quite pricey for something that I can now never wear. Oh, and you'll need to be cool with the the phrase "HOW'S OUR SHOCKER TASTE?!" stitched into the hood. Yeah, thought they were gonna beat Louisville. What? I was all messed on on vodka Red Bulls with a 5 Hour Energy sidecar.I call it a "Fuzzy Meth Ferret", but that's mostly because I just love using that term...



In closing, I leave you again with Miss Christina Hendricks and her beautiful sweater cows. This time, in green. To honor the upcoming Masters gold tournament. I tried to find a photo of hooker that Tiger let wear his jacket. But no dice. So you get this. Which isn't so bad, you have to admit...

Enjoy Spring, friends. Because it's here. And I'll catch you next week...
 

Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

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