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Friday, November 30, 2012

Week 13 Picks: Wait a Beard Second...


After last night's win, the Falcons are 11-1. Yet you probably couldn't find anyone north of Myrtle Beach that considers them a top 3 contender for the Super Bowl. Probably because they were out gained by 150 yards on offense at home, yet still managed a win against the league's worst defense. But no matter. They'll make the playoffs, take a dive in their first game after the bye, and then we'll all forget about them again until they're 7-1 next year. That being the case, let's get on to talking about some legitimate teams that we actually think can take this thing down. Oh, and the Jaguars. I'm gonna talk about the Jaguars for a second, too. And literally "a second". So don't let that dissuade you from venturing on..

So venture, my friends. And let's see if we can't get those pockets a little fuller for your Christmas shopping needs. And by "Chirstmas shopping", I obviously mean betting on other football games. Because there's no better gift than whatever you can find at Walgreen's because you blew all of your money betting on football. Scoff, if you must. But who doesn't like a thing of mixed nuts and a Burt's Bee's chapstick? BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!

Enjoy...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

It's Lame, Everything's Lame...


There's no doubt about it. It's a great time of year to be a sports fan. College hoops, MLB hot stove, and of course all the football we can handle. However, within that plentiful cornucopia of sports goodness comes a problem. And no, I'm not talking about the 8 weeks of Notre Dame talk we're about to hear across every even remotely sports related medium in existence. Nope, the problem with this full plate of sports goodness is that between all the watching, beer drinking and spirited conversing don't really leave time for much blogging. OK, maybe that's not entirely true, but it's a busy time of year. You've gotta give me that. Even if this is like the longest gap from Thanksgiving to Christmas in the history of the universe...

But it's cool. I've got what every sports fan on the go needs to help get them through. At least through the next few days. OK, that's not entirely true, either. But I do have the results from my uber successful weekend of picking football games and a list of college basketball games coming up in the next few days. That's something, right? I've also got that super creepy photo at the top of the page that I found while searching Google Images for "Notre Lame". Yeah, that's not so cool. But I'll make up for it right now...


Yup, it's the one and only Kate Upton in all her curvaceous glory. And it appears as though her horse broke down...and she needed to use her pants and shirt to kill it? Whatever, at least she brought a blanket...and apparently some extra mascara...    

NFL Picks

Last Week: 12-4-1

Overall: 112-83-9 (.571)

Twitter Picks: 25-10-2 (.703)


NCAA Picks

Last Week: 7-5-0

Overall: 84-53-3 (.611)

NCAA Hoops

11/28
Ohio St. @ Duke
Michigan St. @ Miami
Virginia @ Wisconsin

11/29
Marquette @ Florida
Kentucky @ Notre Dame

11/30
Syracuse @ Arkansas
Tennessee @ Georgetown

12/1
Michigan @ Bradley
Baylor @ Kentucky
Illinois St. @ Louisville
Oklahoma St. @ Virginia Tech
Alabama @ Cincinnati
San Diego St. @ UCLA


Catch you Friday, kids. For all the football picking that's fit to print. And maybe another picture of Kate Upton. I'm sure I can find a way to squeeze that in...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Week 12 Picks: Food Coma Addition...


Call it a multi-day food coma, call it holiday time apathy. Either one works in describing the reason for this weekend's abbreviated picks. I'm sure you can relate, with the busy Thanksgiving weekend and whatnot. And I hope you've been enjoying yours just as I've been enjoying mine. I know my Thursday night was particularly enjoyable. I laughed (at the Jets), I cried (due to laughing so hard at the Jets, and I laughed again (ya know, because the Jets were still trying to compete). I also managed to drink a few beers in between the tears. And that rhymes, so you know it was a good time. And that almost rhymed, but no time for that...

There is a little bit of time to get your picks in order, though. And I'm here to help. Even tossed in a few OVER/UNDERS to help make up for my lack of witty comments and digs at Lance Armstrong. Think of them as my Thanksgiving gift to you. Unless they don't hit, in which case screw you. Thanksgiving isn't for gifts anyway, you greedy bastards...

Enjoy. And for one last time. GOBBLE GOBBLE!


Chicago Bears (pick) vs Minnesota Vikings

Indianapolis Colts (-3) vs Buffalo Bills

San Francisco 49ers (-1) @ New Orleans Saints + OVER 48.5

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+1) vs Atlanta Falcons + OVER 51

New York Giants (-2.5) vs Green Bay Packers + OVER 50.5

San Diego Chargers (+1) vs Baltimore Ravens

Cincinnati Bengals (-8) vs Oakland Raiders

Cleveland Browns (pick) vs Pittsburgh Steelers

Kansas City Chiefs (+10.5) vs Denver Broncos + UNDER 45.5

Seattle Seahawks (-3) @ Miami Dolphins

St. Louis Rams (+2) @ Arizona Cardinals

Jacksonville Jaguars (+3) vs Tennessee Titans

Carolina Panthers (-2.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles


Thanksgiving Picks: 2-1-1

Overall: 100-79-8 (.556)

Twitter Picks: 24-10-2 (.694)


As for my college picks (went 3-0 in Top 25 games on Friday), this weekend. Yes, I'm taking USC. But it has nothing to do with the actual teams playing in the game. It's mostly because Notre Dame ruined the combination of Jaime Edmondson and football. A bra?! Really, Notre Dame?? For a supposedly religious school that's a rather sacrilegious act. I mean, any heathen knows how the amply chested Jaime Edmonson is meant to look when sporting football themed attire. And it's like this...


See? Now there's something to be thankful for. And I'll be rather thankful if I don't have to put up with a month+ of Notre Dame title talk, too... #underboobs

NCAA Top 25 Picks
USC (+6.5) vs (1) Notre Dame

(2) Alabama (-29.5) vs Auburn

(3) Georgia (-13) vs Georgia Tech

(4) Ohio St. (-3.5) vs (20) Michigan

(16) Oregon St. (+9.5) vs (5) Oregon

(6) Florida (+8) @ (10) Florida St.

(22) Oklahoma St. (+7) @ (14) Oklahoma

(11) Stanford (pick) @ (15) UCLA

(12) Clemson (-4) vs (13) South Carolina

UCONN (+11) @ (20) Louisville

(21) Rutgers (+2) @ Pittsburgh

(25) Mississippi St. (+1.5) @ Mississippi


Last Week: 9-7-0 (3-0 on Twitter on 11/23)

Overall: 77-48-3 (.613)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving Picks: #GobbleGobble


Gobble gobble, my damies. Thanksgiving is upon us, once again. A time where we gather together, and perform some of the most cherished pastimes that this great nation of ours has to offer. Like my personal favorite. Pretending to listen to a relative tell a story about their kids while simultaneously eating, watching football, and checking your fantasy team. Ah, yes. Traditions. That's what Thanksgiving is all about. And it's what helps separates us from the Canadians. That, and our extremely high crime rate...which might have something to do with our history being founded on the raping and pillaging of the people that actually helped spawn this great holiday. Oh well. Check it out! Football picks and a half naked pilgrim chick that may or may not be late 90s Pam Anderson!..?

FOOTBALL! FOOD! AMERICA! FAMILIAL INDIFFERENCE! HOOKERS! YEAH!!!

Let's go...

Friday, November 16, 2012

NFL Week 11 Picks: WAR. What Is It Good For?


Purists say that all the newfangled statistics are ruining baseball. And the stat nerds say the newfangled stats are the purest way of analyzing the game. Ahhh yes. The debate rages on. And since the debate has come to the forefront with the latest selection of Miguel Carbrera over Mike Trout as American League MVP, I thought I'd take a second to give you my thoughts on the matter before I get down to making this week's picks. And here they are...

1) The term "MVP" is so ambiguous, that trying to back it up with anything "solid" or legitimate" really becomes a futile enterprise. "Value" is an opinion. There's no iron clad way to "prove" it, so until they change the name of the award, voters can vote almost any which way they please and not have to provide much of an explanation past "that was my opinion"...

2) IF they did change the name of the award to "best" player, and put a statistical system in place to determine said player, that stat would be called "WAR". Or "Wins Above Replacement". IT does a better job of portraying a player's importance than any of the old time metrics, and statistically gets right to the heart of determining a player's actual value...

So, here's the long and short of it. You either make it so there isn't a vote, and that the player with the best WAR every year wins the MVP. OR, you leave it open to a prehistoric vote, where the uneducated use any number of their own metrics to determine the winner. Personally, I leave it open to the vote. But that's mostly because I enjoy watching the tards across the country cast their votes for Hunter Pence, and enjoy even more the hilarious social network fallout that then results...

IF I felt it actually mattered, if I had some sort of dog in this fight. I'd be aggressively lobbying for WAR to become the gold standard. I mean, why let a bunch of crusty old sports writers, who may have seen like 10% of total games played this season, figure it out, when there's an iron clad statistical system in place that can do a much more efficient job? Oh, right. Because of the hilarity that will ensue on the Interweb. How quickly I forget...

Speaking of hilarity on the Interweb and trying to make heads or tails of sketchy numbers, let's see if I can't make some sense of this week's games in the NCAA & NFL. Because we all know the only numbers football fans care about have to do with the spread. And maybe their fantasy team. But here, we're gonna focus on the spread. Personally, I hope your fantasy team sucks to the point where you stop trying to tell me about it...

Which leads me to one more mini rant: Would you ever walk up to a complete stranger and just out of the blue ask them if you should get married to someone that they don't even know? Of course you wouldn't. But that's how you sound when you walk about to someone that's not in your league, doesn't know your league size, doesn't know your roster and doesn't know your scoring system, and ask them about some advice for your fantasy team. Yeah, sure. Get married. This doesn't mean I have to buy you a gift, right?

Just come prepared, peeps. I know you want answers, but it certainly helps in giving one if you at first fully understand the question...

Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Miami Trade Machine...


Can you feel that glow, friends? That's the warmth emanating from the dawn of the Aqib Talib area here in New England. Either that, or it's the exhaust of the jets currently taking all of the Marlins up to their new digs in Canada. Oh, and speaking of "jets". Yeah, they're forcing themselves into the news with their antics again. So I'll get to that, too...

Some news and notes. Check 'em out. And yes, that title is a weak reference to 'The Miami Sound Machine'. What? I couldn't think of anything better. Besides, you know you like Gloria Estefan, and I'm willing to bet the rhythm has "got" you at least once in the last 48 hours. So there...

Friday, November 09, 2012

NFL Week 10 Picks: Prelude To A Dog Day Afternoon...


So, today was supposed to the start of a brand new season for Syracuse basketball. But then it rained. And that's the thing with outdoor basketball games. Sometimes it rains. And since this isn't the WNBA, they had to postpone the game. But it's all good, because now I'll actually be able to watch the game it in it's entirety. And seeing as it's all about me, anyway. I'd say that's a fantastic thing. Not so much for all the people who planned weekends out to San Diego that will now spend their free weekend attempting to trade their tickets for sex and coke. But they're not my problem. They're just my brothers in Orange arms. Just be careful not to lose any of those Orange arms in a shady back alley sex for ticket exchanges. Needless to say, those situations can get rather hairy. Possible puns everywhere...

OK. So now that we've covered the CraigsList scene in San Diego for the next few days, let's go about making some money the honest way. You know. By circumventing the United States' laws against gambling on sports each and every way we know how. I mean, it's what we do. So let's do it to it, Teds...

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Barack And A Hard Place...


Well, the people have spoken. Or at least something like 17% of them have. That's the math, when you break it down. Not like I'm here to bitch about election results. But I do have a major beef with the process.  I mean, from what I saw last night. The guy I voted for didn't even actually run. Which is weird, because I totally saw his name on the ballot right before I cast my vote for him. And that's my issue. You can blame the Republicans or the Democrats if you want, but I but the blame on partisan politics in general. And I wouldn't be so convinced that's the main problem if I didn't see both parties and the TV networks in their back pockets go to great lengths to ignore anyone with an R or a D next to their name. Fix the system, and you'll get better results. That's all I'm saying. And opening up the forum, giving equal time to those that have met the Federal guidelines to be on the ballot, should go a long way towards giving it the overhaul that it's needed for quite some time...

Sorry to get even the least bit political. I know you've been getting bombarded on Facebook with all sorts of extremist bullshit, and I hate to contribute to a river of excrement so vile and disgusting that even Andy Dufresne wouldn't dare shimmy through. But I'm also not one to keep quiet. Not when I feel my views, and the views of many that I know are going unrepresented by what's supposed to be a government run by and for the people...

So there. Now you know my thoughts on the election. I know you were dying for my reaction, so there it is. Next week I'll tell you how to raise you're kids and express my thoughts on what happens after you die...


As for any sports news that's come across my desk, the only tidbit of note was the Red Sox signing of David Ortiz. I wanted them to spend money, and in signing Ortiz to essentially a 2 year $30 million dollar contract, they did exactly that to keep their man. However, the spending needs to continue. I wouldn't put it past this ownership group to overspend for Ortiz only to assure a positive face on what they think will be another disappointing few seasons. If this is step one? It's a great sign. A sign that not only are they looking to spend, but that they're willing to overspend. But if this is the last major card they plan to play, then there won't be any reason to think they team will be any closer to competing than they have been in recent years...

But hey. The hot stove is just starting to heat up. So there's still plenty of time for the Red Sox to make their intentions clear. I'll give them that time. I'm just not willing to start patting anyone on the back until I'm convinced their actually committed to turning this thing around rather than milking it for every last dollar that it's worth...


Other than that, I've got nothin' for ya. I'm obviously excited that college basketball is only a few days from getting underway. But there'll be plenty of time to talk about that once the season has actually gotten started. Something that, as a Syracuse fan, I was hoping would happen on Friday. Now, thanks to a little rain, I'll have to wait until Sunday afternoon to get my fix. Not an ideal situation, sports viewing wise. But I'll take Syracuse playing on a boat over Dallas/Philly every day and twice on Sunday. Mmmmmm. College hoops Sunday doubleheader on a boat. Now that would be sweet...

Either way. It'll be great to have college hoops back in the fold. Really makes this one of the greatest times of the year to be a sports fan. If only the NBA were locked out right now, too. Now that would make for a perfect world. Oh well. I'll take what I can get...


Decent results last week, but seeing as Vegas had it's worst sports betting weekend in it's history thanks to all the favorites covering, 9-4 isn't really all that great. Oh well. That's the great part about numbers. Three weeks from now it won't matter how easy this week allegedly was. 9-4 is 9-4. And I'll take that any time I can get it. You'd be wise to do the same...

NFL Picks

Last Week: 9-4-0

Overall: 80-68-6 (.539)

Twitter Picks: 15-8-1 (.646)

NCAA Picks

Last Week: 8-5-1

Overall: 59-39-3 (.599)


Catch you Friday, friends. Be good. Oh, and I'd stay away from Facebook for a few more days. Let the Teds get all of this stuff out of their system. They'll forget about it soon enough and go back towards posting pictures of their dogs and babies. Don't worry...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>  

Friday, November 02, 2012

NFL Week 9 Picks: Talib It Or Not...


Chad Johnson, Albert Haynesworth? Meet the next risk taken by Bill Belichick at the expense of the 2013 draft. His name, is Aqib Talib. Former cabbie puncher, Adderall eater, domestic disputer, and of course, defensive back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He's as talented as he is mentally unstable, and he's here to save New England's season by helping to improve what might just be the league's worst secondary...

Now, the question immediately becomes: Is this nut case worth the risk? 4th round picks aren't exactly chump change, and with Talib in the final year of his contract, it's optimistic to think that this is any more than a rental. He plays well? He'll likely get a better deal somewhere else as a free agent. He sucks, or worse yet he further proves that he's an immature malcontent? He'll likely be out of the league faster than you can say Maurice Clarett. Either way, you get the picture. He's not long for this uniform...

So what will deem this trade a "success"? It's simple. Talib will need to play well enough to be the difference in the Patriots advancing past the first round of the playoffs. That's a rather high bar, I know. But what are we talking about here? This is a playoff team, right? Even with their porous secondary, I still think everyone believes they're making it to the playoffs. But they're secondary sucks, and most people believe that in order for them to be any more than just another playoff team, that will need to improve. That's where Talib comes in. He puts them over the top, helps to at least give them a fighting chance in the AFC Championship game? The trade was a success. He does anything less than that? Well let's just say it will make it a lot more obvious come the 2013 draft that the Patriots are a little short when it comes to picks. Granted, Belichick will probably just trade back a bunch of time and the Pats will still end up with the most picks in the league, but you see my point...

It's a risky gambit by Bill Belichick and the Patriots. But I like it. His actions are telling me he thinks this team is close enough to take this type of risk on, and that he feels he can make it up on the back end with his ability to manipulate the draft. That's good enough for me. Sure, these scenarios haven't exactly worked out for Bill in the recent past, but that doesn't mean they're chances that aren't worth taking. 0 for 2 isn't exactly a trend. Talib flames out like OchoStinko and Haynesworth? Then we can start to question if ole Mr. Hoodsworth might be starting to lose is mind...

OK, now that we've covered that, let's get to some picks. You know, before Belichick trades them away for a potential All Pro safety who happens to have been indicted for murder. Oh, and he might have a Meth problem...