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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Penn St. Falls, The Dark Knight Rises & Ostrich Racing...Apparently Exists


In the past week, I've seen the Dark Knight Rise, Penn St. fall, and the Red Sox waffle around like...well, like the waffles they should have been eating with that fried chicken and beer. So, yeah. I'll tell you what was wrong with the punishment at PSU, what was right about the final installment of the latest Batman franchise, and provide further proof that the folks on Yawkee Way are just spinning their tires. Yep, it's a regular Goldilocks type situation over here. One hot, one cold, and one in the middle. I'll also touch on Ernie Els' unlikely victory at the British Open, and seeing as he looks a touch like the South African version of the "Golden Bear" Jack Nicklaus, he should fit right in...

And yes, apparently Ostrich Racing is a thing. An utterly hilarious thing. And I'll get to that as well...

Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Lyin' King...


Ahhh yes. The death penalty. One of the few phrases that instantly elicits opinions that tend to be as passionate as they can be polarizing. Ya know, like "rape jokes". Though we won't get into that controversy here. Nope, I won't discuss how Daniel Tosh may have gone too far and ruined his career, but I will give my take on what should be the obvious steps to be taken if there's any hope of restoring order and normalcy in what once was a very Happy Valley. Yup, I used that pun. Deal with it...

It's not all bad, though, because since I'll be dampening the mood by discussing kid diddler cover ups, I'll make sure to finish up with a video clip of a certain buxom bikini model doing what she does best. And in between, I'll tackle the eventful week for the Sox, and how Bryce Harper could have easily played the bad guy in Stand By Me...

So, yeah. I'm all over the map. But it's cool, because I close it out with Kate Upton shaking what it is she must have inherited from her presumably fine ass mother. Damn, I gave away the big finish. Oh well. Read on anyway, friends. She's still there at the end, and I'm sure you'll find the middle at least a half a step up from whatever photos of food and feet your friends may currently be posting on Facebook...

Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Ray Ray, My My...


Well, my friends. It appears that Boston is officially burning. At least that's what the masses would lead you to believe. They're ready to take a torch to the BoSox and nail Judas Shuttlesworth to the nearest available piece of wood. Question is, are they justified in their scorn and pessimism? Well, per usual. The answer you get from me is going to be both YES and NO. I'll tackle that stuff, make sure I get a few jabs in at Lance Fraudstorng, and even pop up with a much delayed movie review. Hey, it's not cheap to see a movie anymore, and as is far too often the case, this was yet another much hyped production that I'm glad I waited to see til it hit the small screen...

So, yeah. Read on, pimps. If for no other reason than the fact that the movie I reviewed contained a lot of gratuitous sex scenes with a woman that I feel you'd all find attractive. And no, it's not Kate Upton. I know, but it's still worth checkin' out...

Enjoy...

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

AMERICA


Well, since most of you patriotic degenerates are taking the week off, then so am I. Not from me real job. Then I'd just get fired. But I will be exercising my well protected right to choose by not taking the time to craft together this week's regular post. I will be back next week with all the red hot sports take that you've come to know and love, but until then, enjoy your extended weekend, friends. And try not not blow off any of your digits. If you do, make sure you at least keep the middle one in tact. Because you're not a true American if you don't have a middle finger and know how to use it...


Teddy Williams...
100...


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