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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Fans Tired of the "Moneyball" In Boston...


So, I was watching Moneyball on cable this weekend, and between reliving that piece of recent history, and witnessing the current turmoil surrounding the Red Sox, I got to thinkin'. If things had happened differently, and Billy Beane had taken the job to be the next Red Sox GM, would he still hold the position? Rather quickly I came to my answer, and it was a resounding NO. Whether the Sox had won multiple championships under his watch OR if the curse of the Bambino had simply continued. Either way, the Moneyball maestro would, like Epstein, already be out the door. Why? The same reason that Theo left. Not to "pursue new challenges" outside of Boston, but to escape an ownership group that's more concerned with selling merchandise and catering to families than they are with actually putting a great product on the field. This is a baseball team, after all, and I think we've arrived at the point where most fans have discovered that ownership no longer views it that way. They view it as a business, and between a series of PR blunders and diminished performance on the field, it appears that fans are finally sick of their brand of "Moneyball". I know I am...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Turning Japanese? Stubborn Sox Don't Think So...


Did I survive a Thai dating service that encourages you to cheat on your significant other hacking into my site? You bet your ass I did. Freakin' foreigners tryin' to snipe my identity and tarnish my good name. Rat bastards. I showed them the virtual door, though, thanks to some free YouTube help vids. So thanks, nerds, for paying it forward, and continuing to make the Interweb a friendly place to do business. The question becomes now, now that I've survived a brush in with those with bad intentions, can Bobby Valentine do the same? Yep, I just tied in a Thai prostitution virus with the state of affairs with the Boston Red Sox. And if the early returns are any indication, that might be one of the more favorable analogies in regards to the Red Sox clubhouse for the entire season. Even one of the more favorable Asian analogies, at that...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Calm Down, It's Just Ozzie...


I knew Ozzie Guillen's mouth was capable of some amazing things (no homo), but his divulging to TIME magazine that he was pro Fidel Castro has really sent things to the next level. Not that his comments surprised me (to be honest, I feel if asked before his controversial comments, I would have assumed he would have said he liked Castro solely on the basis that that's the type of shit that Ozzie says!), but the debates that have been sparked leading up to and in the wake of his five game suspension have really brought to the fore front how little people seem to know about the 1st Amendment, and how easily they're surprised and outraged when stupid people say stupid things. Only Ozzie. Even with his foot lodged in his mouth, he's able to teach, entertain and expose the ignorance of the masses. That's both why he's beautiful, and why we need to stop taking moral cues from our athletes and entertainers. Because that's the real issue here. Not that he said what he said, but that there are enough people out there that are actually listening, and taking guys like Ozzie Guillen seriously...

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

The 2012 Championship Game Was Fred McGriff Approved...


Just a few thoughts on Kentucky's impressive win in last night's NCAA Championship game:

*First and foremost, congratulations to John Calipari. It's one thing to have several Final Four appearances vacated, but you're not a true pimp until you have a National Championship vacated...or until you wear a white suit on the sidelines. Whichever comes first...

The Crime Dog wants YOU to watch the 2012
NCAA Championship game!
*Kentucky was the better team, played better basketball by forcing their opponent to play their style, and actually won the game. Who'd have thought? Yep, for once a game actually unfolded the way that most of us thought it would. The only shocking part of that game last night was how well I thought it was officiated. There were 3-4 times that, under normal circumstances, at least 2-3 fouls could have easily been called had the refs not correctly decided to let them play on. It allowed the players to engage in an acceptably physical style that at never point even approached getting out of control. In short, it was what real basketball should look like, and it was refreshing to see...

As I tweeted, that's the tape they should show every ref on day 1 of referee training and at least once before the start of every season and conference tournament. It should become to basketball officiating what the tom Emanksi tapes are to the fundamentals of baseball. You know, minus Fred McGriff...unless he too agrees to wear a full white suit...and a top hat. Gotta have the top hat...

65% of the time it beats the buzzer 100% of the time...
*Overall, the tournament was great. No buzzer beaters, but plenty of great finishes and performances, and it ended with the crowning of a worthy champion. Aside from the fact that Gus Johnson was nowhere to be seen, I'd say it was without question a resounding success. And think about it. No Gus Johnson, and no buzzer beaters. Coincidence? Yeah, right. Coincidental like a FOX!! RISE AND FIRE! Oh, Gus. You beautiful, beautiful man...

I'd like to use the moonshine line, Regis.
*Reports out of Lexington say there was a fan that was shot while celebrating the team's victory. Only one? In Kentucky? That's not news. Show me someone in Kentucky reading a book that doesn't contain at least 3 pictures and/or a diagram of how to make a liquor still in the woods behind your cabin, and then we'll talk...


It's bittersweet, the ending of the NCAA Basketball season, but it was a fun ride while it lasted. Now, if you don't mind, I need to decompress after a long year of hoopin' it up, and turn my attention to finding a nice wall to bang my head against as I watch a Summer full of Red Sox baseball. Really? It's only April 4th and we're already dealing with "Thumb-gate". Yeah, this should be a fun season. Nice knowing ya, Ben Cherington. Play your cards right, and you could probably  split cab fare with Bailey while you're both leaving town...

Then again, maybe I should let them play a few before I start handing out pink slips. Even if I've only seem more dismal previews from the reality TV abortionists behind the latest National Geographic TV gem, Wicked Tuna. There's a bet for ya. Cherington/Valentine vs Wicked Tuna. Which lasts for more seasons? Might have to place a few duckets down on fisherman. In my experience, people like watching crappy TV about fishing more than they like a losing baseball team. It's just entertainment 101...


Teddy Williams...
100...

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