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Friday, December 21, 2012

Week 16 Picks: For The Restivus...


OK, so now it's really Festivus. But since I used up my grievance allotment with last week's stance against those who will do nearly anything to fit in, I'm just going to use today's space to give you the picks that can hopefully start your holiday weekend on the right note. I'm also going to use it to share some quality Festivus underboob. "Have you seen the pole?" Yeah, they've seen the pole...

Enjoy, my friends. And a Merry Christmas to you all...

Week 16 Picks

Jacksonville Jaguars (+14.5) vs New England Patriots

My Patriots' betting strategy, which I swear is ironclad but I barely ever use, wants me to take the Pats in this spot. And the last time I used it against an AFC South team (Houston), it definitely proved fruitful. But, because I am who I am, I'm not going to use it, this week. Nope, I'm riding the even hotter trend of double digit home underdogs cover the spread. Though Oakland became the first team all year not to cover just a few weeks back, double digit home underdogs are still somethin' like 23-2 in their last 25 against the spread. Obviously I still like the Pats to win, and I could easily envision a blowout. But that's a lot of points and a pretty strong trend. I'll take the math in this one...


Washington Redskins (-5.5) vs Philadelphia Eagles

Robert Griffin III  is back. Enough said, right? Eh, I would like to think so. But probably not. I liked Washington a lot more when they weren't getting any respect from fans or bettors. Now, I feel like I'm betting an inflated # against a divisional opponent. Something that never tends to bode well for the favorite...

That being said, I'm not pickin' the Eagles. They're garbage. And they're a major season my fantasy season is all but over. So screw you, Philly. I hope you lose by 50...and then something bad happens to your town. Nothing brutal or terror like. But if it all of a sudden smelled like female Olympian weight lifter grundle 24/7. That would seem like the beginning of some justice...


Minnesota Vikings (+8) @ Houston Texans

Carolina Panthers (-8) vs Oakland Raiders

Cam Newton and Adrian Peterson have more or less taken over the NFL the last month or so in terms of individual performances. I expect that trend to continue this week. As long as the Vikings don't try to pass the ball...


Arizona Cardinals (+5.5) vs Chicago Bears

When you think Cardinals/Bears, it's tough not to think of Dennis Green. IT's also tough to look at that picture and not think that Dennis Green looks a lot like Cleveland Brown. Which is more than enough for me to pick the Cardinals again. Which is to say that it obviously didn't take much for me to pick against the Bears. They're spiraling. And my money says that this time, Arizona won't "LET THEM OFF THE HOOK!"...



Baltimore Ravens (+2.5) vs New York Giants

Speaking of hooks. Nazi Bill Simmons met his demise, this week, in the weekly Jamboroo. Thanks to Rolf the Nazi shark. But before he went, Nazi Bill gave us one final pick that apparently Rolf tends to agree with. And I do, too. I know the Ravens have been terrible. So terrible, in fact, that they fired their offensive coordinator in the middle of a playoff run. And I know the Giants have a penchant for flipping the proverbial switch this time of year. But I'm now firmly of the opinion that this Giants team does not look like a Giants team that's going to make a run for another Super Bowl. The Ravens are still shady at best, but between being at home, getting points, and having the approval of a Nazi shark. I really don't think I have much of a choice...


Seattle Seahawks (pick) vs San Francisco 49ers

For my final pick of the week, OR at least the last one I'm actually going to write about, I'm riding another typically strong trend by taking the Seahawks to win at home. They're great at home, they're playing a familiar opponent coming off a short week and their biggest game of the season. And they just so happen to be playing some of the best football in the league, right now. San Fran may be the better team with the more realistic Super Bowl aspirations, but the Super Bowl won't be played in Seattle. And this game will be...



As for the rest of the slate, feel free to make of my picks what you will and enjoy this scantily clad Santa. My gift to you. Just don't touch her. Any "gifts" she gives you then are between you and her...and your physician of choice...


Atlanta Falcons (-3.5) @ Detroit Lions (Saturday)

Dallas Cowboys (-2.5) vs New Orleans Saints

Green Bay Packers (-12) vs Tennessee Titans

Indianapolis Colts (-6.5) @ Kansas City Chiefs

Miami Dolphins (-4.5) vs Buffalo Bills

New York Jets (-2) vs San Diego Chargers

Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) vs Cincinnati Bengals

St. Louis Rams (+3) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Denver Broncos (-13) vs Cleveland Browns



Last Week: 8-9-0

Overall: 137-105-9 (.564)

Twitter Picks: 27-11-2 (.700)


Again, a Merry Christmas to you all. And I'll see you in the New Year. OR maybe even before. I'll probably have my first College Hoops Top 25 around then, too. I know. You're excited. But try to contain yourself for now and focus on the holidays...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

1 comments:

Ktomasso said...

Hahaha Cleveland Brown..

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