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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"His momma call him Griffin, I'm a call him Griffin!"


Week 1 in the NFL has come and gone, and before week 2 gets going in just over 24 hours, I've got a few comments and observations on what we all took in over the weekend. Here are said comments in list form for your reading pleasure...


*Are the replacement refs noticeably worse than the regular refs? Yes. Does anyone really care? Nope. And they won't until one of those scab bastards personally costs them a fantasy football game. All refs make mistakes. Granted, these guys make a few more, but all that does is add another reason for fans like us to complain about "unfairness". Speaking for sports fans everywhere, "we love that shit". So carry on. And unlimited timeouts for everyone!...until you screw my team. At which point I will be out for blood...



*Robert Griffin III had the most impressive debut for a rookie QB since Cam Newton...last year. Either way, RG3, whose nickname prompted WEEI in Boston host, Michael Holley, to echo the famous line from Coming To America for which I've named this post, impressively announced his presence with authority and immediately had every analyst worth their mind altering bath salts asking this question: "Was Griffin a better pick than Andrew Luck?" The answer? It's easy. The answer is: Anyone asking those questions after just 1 game are about as smart as they likely are athletic and void of a high cholesterol count. It's one game, people. They're both still young, and they're both probably going to eventually be really good. After all: The children, they are our the future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!


*Coming away with the most impressive performances of the weekend were definitely the Patriots, Broncos, Ravens and 49ers. If I'm picking potential Super Bowl champs, right now. Those would be my first 4 picks. The Jets? Cowboys? Falcons? Texans? Bears? They all looked good, too. But I'll need to see more from them before I deem their week 1 performance anything more than just "one good week". That's something to keep in mind this week when placing your best, as well. Fact is, over the past 5 seasons only 27% of teams that saw their week 2 line increase after a surprising week 1 performance have gone on to cover that new spread. But that's betting. In real life, 4 teams mentioned off the top are the ones that clearly announced their presence as contenders on opening weekend. They'd be teams that, come December, I'd be shocked if we're not watching them battle it out for the top spots in their respective conferences. Especially Denver. I know some were waiting to see just how healthy Peyton Manning was, but I think now that he's had a chance to prove himself, the Broncos have immediately become the biggest threat the Patriots in the AFC and an immediate Super Bowl contender...  


*One thing that was blatant during the NFL's annual return to the airwaves was how much better some broadcast teams are than others. Especially the teams rolled out for prime time. The Chris Berman led crew for ESPN? Jon Gurden sans Ron Jaworski? They sound like bad video games. Yeah, we get it. You guys love everyone and enjoy using the most colorful language you have at your disposal. Fantastic. And I get that some of that is part of the job, but like so much of the sports landscape those guys have just become charicatures of what they're supposed to represent. It's to the point where I feel bad for guys like Mike Tirico. Especially Mike Tirico, actually. A pro's pro if there ever was one...

Eye candy is one thing, but what happened to the
women that know their shit?
The only  prime time team I can seem to stomach after week 1 is the NBC pairing of Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth. They get it. Like their opinions or not, they put on a professional broadcast where at no point do you have a brain fart and think you left your XBox running. Unfortunately for them, NBC's presentation of their broadcast nearly the polar opposite of their professional performances. Between Michelle Beadle being there for apparently no other reason than she's a blonde female, and their analysts looking like they were merely cast to cover every possible demographic, NBC seems more concerned with putting on a "show" where as many people as possible are entertained rather than effectively presenting a professional football game...


I suppose it's just another example of my continual beef with the "PinkHat-ization" of sports. A direct descendant of the "participation trophy". Remember those? Win or lose, you got a trophy or a ribbon just for showing up. That's what NBC and all of these prime time broadcasts are trying to do. They want everyone to feel good. They want to please as many people as possible, so they just water down product in order to put everyone on the same level. It's not what the real fans deserve, and since we all know they can still make advertising dollars hands over fist by simply targeting their main demographic, it just comes off as greedy...

I know I'm basically talking to a wall, as they're making too much money to even think they have to change their product. But I just want them to know that I'm on to their games, and that I won't be prominently presenting the "MNF PARTICIPANT" ribbon that I'm sure as we speak it's finding it's way to my mailbox...


And in closing, since I apologized on Friday for suggesting you draft David Wilson, I'm going to take credit now for suggesting you draft Julio Jones, Stevan Ridley, Alfred Morris and Joe Flacco. It ended up being a successful week across all fantasy platforms, as my draft picks and record below will suggest, and I've already shaken any feelings that this season might be falling under any sort of karmic cloud. That may change when Mike Shannahan decides to bench Morris in favor of some crack head he saw running from the cops on his way through DC, however. Which is why I'm seizing this opportunity, right now. Hopefully, my bragging and told-you-so-ing will become a weekly occurrence. But just in case the phrase "Damn, that dealer reminds me a young Clinton Portis!" is still yet to be uttered, I'll pat myself on the back now while I can...    

NFL Picks: 9-6-1 (.594)

NCAA Top 25 Picks: 7-5-0 (.583)


Check back Friday for my complete list of picks for the weekend, and keep an eye out tomorrow on Twitter (@RoochNation) for my Packers/Bears pick. I'm likely too lazy to do a post just for that game, so I'll have my pick there. Oh, and if you pride yourself on making informed picks and keeping up to snuff on the comings and goings of fantasy but your still NOT on Twitter. Then you really need to stop priding yourself on making informed picks and keeping up to snuff on the comings and goings of fantasy. OR just join Twitter. That way your pride won't take a hit, and you'll have yet another outlet in which you can enjoy my hilarious and informative musings. I know, it sounds to good to be true. But go ahead and sign up. I assure you, it's not...

Enjoy your week, friends...

Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

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