Pages

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Ray Ray, My My...


Well, my friends. It appears that Boston is officially burning. At least that's what the masses would lead you to believe. They're ready to take a torch to the BoSox and nail Judas Shuttlesworth to the nearest available piece of wood. Question is, are they justified in their scorn and pessimism? Well, per usual. The answer you get from me is going to be both YES and NO. I'll tackle that stuff, make sure I get a few jabs in at Lance Fraudstorng, and even pop up with a much delayed movie review. Hey, it's not cheap to see a movie anymore, and as is far too often the case, this was yet another much hyped production that I'm glad I waited to see til it hit the small screen...

So, yeah. Read on, pimps. If for no other reason than the fact that the movie I reviewed contained a lot of gratuitous sex scenes with a woman that I feel you'd all find attractive. And no, it's not Kate Upton. I know, but it's still worth checkin' out...

Enjoy...
I didn't think it possible, but this photo gets funnier with each passing day.
I'll start with the Red Sox. A team that seemingly everyone and their brother is ready to shake that proverbial Etch-a-Sketch on, and have them start over. And you know what? I can't say they're wrong. Problem is, if you're going to rebuild something that you feel was built like shit to begin with, it's never a good idea to hire the same architect. And whether or not the Red Sox are even able to trade away all of their "disposable assets", that's the problem that will still remain. They tried to pull the ole wool over the fans eyes, and convince them that it was the manager that was the problem with this team, but after a .500 first half, it seems most have come around to the thinking that the problem lies more upstairs than it does in the dugout...

So, will the front office be bold enough to rebuild, starting with the 2012 trading deadline? My guess is no, and my reason is a frightening accusation for men that are supposed to be captains of industry. Why won't they do it? It's because they don't want to be perceived as "rebuilding". They don't want their fans to hear that word, and they don't want to have to admit to their peers (mostly the Yankees) that they couldn't keep up and were forced to rethink their business strategy. So, yeah. If you wanna get right down to it, I think they won't do what they know they need to do, and it's mostly out of fear. Fear from the front office that they'll damage the integrity of their product, when in reality, they've already done so much damage that only a complete overhaul of the roster, and a new business strategy, will get them back where a team with their payroll should be...

Again, I'm not naming names...
And no, I don't have specific trades they need to make, it's more just a direction that I feel they need to embrace. Trade away all the non essential veterans, restock the farm system, and take their chances over the next few years via free agency with a renewed focus on obtaining players that actually fit the team rather than those that are just the most expensive players available. It's how they got this team to where it won two World Series Titles in 4 years, and they'd be wise to give that tact another chance at success...

Do I think this will happen? No. But I am prepared to be pleasantly surprised. After all, they are my team, and I do want them to return to where a team with their budget should be. At the top of the standings. I'm also prepared for them to just fire Bobby Valentine at the end of the season and cite him as the problem. Which is the more realistic outlook. Right, because he's the reason the starting pitching has one of the worst team ERA's in all of baseball...

So, allow me to start this chant as a call for change. FREE BEN CHERINGTON. Free him to make the moves that we all know need to be made, so we can get back to the business of kicking ass as opposed to just scraping by. Because if they don't, if they insist on going about business as usual, it's only a matter of time before that family friendly amusement park they've got goin' on Yawkee Way begins to have a very Euro-Disney type stink to it. Ya know, family friendliness cloaked in failure? Yeah, and that's a stench that even a few duck boat parades won't be able to get out...


Now on to Ray Allen, whose "betrayal" has become a as hot a topic as the sputtering Sox. A situation that has me thinking I may very well be the victim of a hidden camera show. Yup, I've been sitting there listening to people call him a traitor, and half expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out and kick me in the junk the second I start to overreact...

A traitor? Really!? You'd think the Celtics took a chance on this guy in the draft, or something. He doesn't "owe" Boston anything. He came to Boston as a mercenary, and he'll leave Boston as a mercenary. Not that he's not a good guy, but he's an NBA player, and that's just the nature of the game. Besides, he's going to a better team, and leaving a team that tried to trade him while publicly saying that they weren't! I mean, what am I missing here?! A traitor?! OK, people don't like Miami. I get that. But this is just your standard, "I think I have a better chance of winning somewhere else" move. And while I can see where they're disappointed, I'm at a loss as to how most fans are viewing this as an act of malice. Especially when the same fan base has been watching the football team down the road lure guys like Ray for less money for years and to great success...
Get yours, son. Then help me get this
bracelet off of my ankle. Oh, and I owe this hooker
like tree fiddy if you could help me out...

That's where I'll never understand a lot of fans. They talk "loyalty" when you know that when it comes to our own lives, we'd all do whatever we wanted to put ourselves in the best position to "win". And there are times to be loyal, don't get me wrong. This just isn't one of them. He didn't dishonor his contract, and he left a team that was trying to trade him, anyway. What's the big deal? I say either wish him well, or keep his name out of your mouth. Because when it comes to professional sports, there are few athletes classier than Ray Allen, and if anyone has earned the right to have his career decisions taken on faith, it's him...

So good luck, Ray. I don't watch the NBA anymore, but I sure did enjoy the work you did at UCONN. Maybe I'll see you again this year when they pan to you during one of UCONN's NCAA tournament ga....oh, what? Too soon? Suck on it, Huskies...

Movin' on...


Next, we have my gratuitous shot at the now legally entangled Lance Armstrong. Yeah man, you cheated. Thankfully for you, so did Roger Clemens. And like Roger, the only people that can testify against you are your sleazy co-conspirators and probably the cycling version of Andy Pettitte. You know, a guy that will take back all the things he told investigators once the trial actually starts? So, yeah. You'll go on trial, the public will be showed a lot of evidence that you cheated, but then you will ultimately get off and be free to run topless with any celebrities you choose. That'll probably be the most entertaining part of the trial, too. When Matthew McConaguhey walks up to the stand as a character witness for Lance wearing just mesh shorts and a pair of sunglasses. No shirt, no shoes, yet somehow, no one will say a word. Should be pretty epic. "Ya, bro. I never saw him doping. Ahaha at least not that kind of doping, if you know what I mean! Ya, you know what I mean. Alllll riiiight."

Ah, yes. The American justice system. It's a beautiful thing. And by "beautiful" I obviously mean hilarious to the point where apparently a man named Rusty Hardin is considered an expert in the field...


As for this week's aforementioned movie review, I finally got a look at The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Yep, the good people at Starz were kind enough to roll it out, and I gave it a look. Here's what I thought:

1) This movie tried to be SE7EN (dedicated, religiously possessed, elusive serial killer), but failed miserably. IT was ALL slow build up, and the payoff was completely unsatisfying. In fact, this movie being part of a book series and whatnot, it never really ended. And not in an "open ended" good way. More like a "what the F?" bad way.

2) At 2 1/2 hours, it was easily 45 minutes too long. An amateur such as myself could have edited out those 45 minutes and no one would have been the wiser. Including the story line mentioned below. OK, we get it. Rooney Mara is screwed up. No need for us to watch her go to and from her therapists office like 5 times...
Sooooo, you want to have sex again?

3) Mara gets naked a lot, which is great. But a third of the time she's nude, she's getting raped by said therapist. So, yeah. Grain of salt with that one. See? Remove that part of the story and she doesn't get raped, and we're ll home 45 minutes earlier.

AND 4) Did I mention this thing was 2 and a 1/2 hours long? Again, I'm all for long movies, but if I'm an hour in, and the two main characters have yet to meet? Yeah, I'd consider that a problem. And it's particularly bothersome when you know that eventually they will meet. So you spend the first hour waiting for that inevitable shoe to drop. Which as I'm sure you've all experienced, does not make for enjoyable movie watching.. 

My summary seems a bit harsh, as the movie wasn't all that bad, it was just very disappointing. Not that I had built it up at all, it's just that all of the elements seemed to be there for it to have been a great movie, but they just weren't effectively woven together. Great acting, great cinematography. I don't know, maybe the story wasn't all that great to begin with, and that was problem? I'm not sure. I just know that watching it, I expected great things to eventually happen, and they never did. Except for, like I said. When Rooney Mara continues to get naked...

So at least this movie had that goin' for it, which is nice...


That's it for me this week, friends. Enjoy the rest of your week, and if you're looking for something to cap it off, feel free to swing by McMahon's Countryside Grille this Friday night @ 9 to see the only musical act officially endorsed by RoochNation.com, Neal Donahue. I used to slang ice cream at that place, and this time around, Neal D will be slangin' the tunes. So stop on by. I'd offer you a discount or a free t shirt if you show up and mention my name, but I'm not rich nor do I have an abundance of t-shirts. But you should come down, anyway. It'll be good times, good tunes, and probably at least halfway decent ice cream. As long as they've washed those coolers since the last time I was an employee. Otherwise, I'd have to recommend...yeah, just get a bunch of beers...

Have a good one... 


Teddy Williams...
100...

0 comments:

Post a Comment