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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Turning Japanese? Stubborn Sox Don't Think So...


Did I survive a Thai dating service that encourages you to cheat on your significant other hacking into my site? You bet your ass I did. Freakin' foreigners tryin' to snipe my identity and tarnish my good name. Rat bastards. I showed them the virtual door, though, thanks to some free YouTube help vids. So thanks, nerds, for paying it forward, and continuing to make the Interweb a friendly place to do business. The question becomes now, now that I've survived a brush in with those with bad intentions, can Bobby Valentine do the same? Yep, I just tied in a Thai prostitution virus with the state of affairs with the Boston Red Sox. And if the early returns are any indication, that might be one of the more favorable analogies in regards to the Red Sox clubhouse for the entire season. Even one of the more favorable Asian analogies, at that...



Here's the deal with the Boston Red Sox and Bobby Valentine. I'll make it real simple for ya. This is a modern team, and he is an old school coach. We all love the idea of an "old school" coach coming in and whipping the overpaid, pampered athletes into shape, but that's just not the way things work. Why? Because the players get paid more, and due to long, guaranteed contracts, have much more job security and by default hold much more power within the organization...

So, Bobby V wants to crack the whip and call players out in the media (Youkilis)? That's cool for him, but all it takes is for a few players to not get on board, and the team will struggle. Team struggles, and who gets the ax? Obviously not the players, or they'd be gone and Francona would still be on NESN on a nightly basis tempting biometrics by trying to fit just one more pinch of tobacco into his lip. But he's not there, because the players run the show. And if things continue on their current course, Bobby V won't be around too long, either. What did Dustin Pedroia say? "He'll learn"??? Yeah apparently he will, or it'll be sayonara for the wiley coach with the silver coif... (See? Told you I wasn't done with those Asian analogies.)
I've seen smaller pouches at a FUPA convention. Why
was I at said convention? Well that's just none of your
business. What? Must I share every detail of my life
with you people?!?

It's like getting a drill sergeant to run a (insert name of hipster based organization here) in order to increase productivity. Sure, it works in theory ,but if the employee base is already A) against it AND B) used to doing things and succeeding in a completely different fashion, then it will never work. Especially if, in this example, those hipsters have all the power. You know the saying, "It ain't no fun when the rabbits got the gun"? That's what we're dealing with here. All the rabbits have guns, big ones, and they don't have to, or more importantly want to, listen to anyone. That can make for a very difficult managing environment, especially for someone that's allegedly there to institute an atmosphere of control...

I'm not sitting here screaming that the season is lost; matter of fact I'm still under the impression that winning can cure all these ills, and this team still has enough talent to win; but now that we've actually seen some baseball and heard some press conferences, I'm really questioning the front office logic that put us in this current situation. Did Henry, Werner, Lucchino and Cherington really think bringing in a coach like this would be what this team needed? OR were they just resigned to the fact that is the much better option in compared with trying to deal  their disgruntled players for pennies on the dollar?

Whatever their plan of action, I think it's an understatement to say that it was flawed from the start and ultimately doomed to fail. The question then becomes, does it take down the franchise, or simply spoil a single season? Sounds like doom and gloom, I know, but it's a slippery slope when you start making important decisions for the wrong reasons, with money being the main culprit, and it seems the Red Sox management has found itself on that slope without a pair of brakes in site...

Don and Jerry started reading tweets on air, and the world was
immediately a much better place...
Hopefully the aforementioned "winning" will make all of this strategic front office drama a non-issue, but I'd be naive to think that's the way this is all going to unfold. Should be fun to watch, but I'd rather get my Sox entertainment from Don and Jerry venturing onto Twitter ("Jerry, would you give Don mouth to mouth?"), than I would watching the ownership group give the Three Stooges a run for their money...

Let's go Sox. Seriously, let's freakin' go. It ain't show-friends, it's show-bidness. So put the personal grudges aside, and get the job done. If not for my sake, then for Don and Jerry's. Those tweets are funny, but not funny enough to fill an entire summer's worth of potentially meaningless games. OK, they are that funny, but still...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$> (pay/tweet it forward!)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

#HashtagsRgay
Duuuuuke

Brett Ferruccio said...

I refuse to believe you're not in favor of a word that has "hash" in it. Blasphemy!

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