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Thursday, August 25, 2011

News and Notes: Sox, Pats & Summitt...


Maybe it's the proverbial, or in this case the literal, "calm before the storm", I'm not sure.  But even with the Sox and Yanks predictably taking things down to the wire, and the NFL just a few weeks away, I find myself in yet another one of those holding patterns.  I'm not disinterested, mind you, it's just that nothing in the news this week has particularly struck my fancy.  At least not to the point where it got me inspired to write.  It's probably because the Sox have all but wrapped up a playoff spot, the early returns on the Patriots have been great, and the whole "booster gate" story doesn't interest me.  But whatever the reasons, that's my current state of mind.  That's why this week's post will have more of a "news and notes" type feel, as opposed to the "meth themed" opuses you've gotten used to finding here, and hopefully come to enjoy...

So get your read on, friends, and enjoy the calm before the storm with this abbreviated version of this week's Rooch Nation.  Well, abbreviated by my standards...


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ever Since I Can Remember, I Always Wanted to be a Booster...



"Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster."

We all know that line.  It's Ray Liotta, playing Henry Hill,after he slams the trunk shut on Philly Leotardo's (or Billy Batts, either way) bulett ridden corpse in the beginning of Goodfellas.  Just some fantastic cinema, right there, and it's iconic scenes like that which have helped fuel the movie going public's infatuation with all things Cosa Nostra.  And with good reason.  That's just some top notch movie makin'...

It's a double edged sword, though, when it comes to dealing with these movies in terms of perception versus reality.  Something I talked about last week.  Sure, those movies are entertaining as Hell, but while we welcome thosae thugs onto our TVs with open arms, none of us would want to get involved with them in our every day life.  We wanna watch the movie, we don't wanna end up being the guy in the trunk.  And we know (at least hopefully) that anyone that gets involved with those people, will most likely ultimately meet their end due to "natural causes".  At least, "Natural to the line of work they were in", to quote Tommy Lee Jones in No Country For Old Men.  Yeah, in case you couldn't tell, I'm in a movie quoting kind of mood...

That's it, though.  We like that this stuff goes on.  We may go out of our way to avoid those people in our ever day lives, but we like that they exist, if only to provide us with such entertaining movies.  Is that selfish?  You're damn straight it is.  But that's also human nature, so excuse me if that gets in the way of your vision of a perfect world...

My head gets run over in the Sopranos finale.
It's pretty awesome...
I say all this, in light of the latest booster scandal that has "rocked" collegiate athletics over the past week.  Reports of payoffs, gifts, hookers and even abortions (I'd imagine in that exact order) have surfaced, and the entire world of collegiate athletics has yet again come under scrutiny from both the fans and, more importantly, the media.  IS there something terribly wrong with the system?  Do much stricter guidelines and penalties need to be installed?  I'll answer those questions, take a shot at a pedophile (No Pedo!) and give my weekly updates on both the Pats and the Sox...

So get your shine box out, friends.  And enjoy...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Changes in Perception: From Big Bill to Little Stevie...


Perception.  It's probably one of the most interesting words and concepts you can think of.  Maybe the term,  Inception, provided a better backdrop for a major motion picture, but that doesn't mean per-ception isn't just as entertaining and even that much more important.  How do you form your perception? How are you perceived, and why?  These are all very interesting and intriguing questions.  Not to mention what usually happens when your longstanding  perception of some one or some thing changes.  That right there, will rock your world.  You immediately get that "through the looking glass", type feeling, and it will usually result in you never again looking at things in the same light...

Well, needless to say after that little intro, my perception has been a changin' over this past week.  And that change in perception has brought me to some interesting, and in some instances, mildly hilarious conclusions.  Like the one that led me to use the Obama/Kennedy perception poster in the lead instead of this other I've slid in here on the right.  I mean, it's hilarious, but using the word "rape" multiple times just isn't really that tasteful.  Tasteful enough to slide in on the side, just not tasteful enough to be throwing it in the headlines.  See?  That's the type of next level thinking I'm talking about here.  Through the looking glass, people.  Even if someone just used that looking glass to smoke a rock of Meth bigger than they trailer they live in...and are about to blow up...

So prepare your looking glass of choice, friends, cuz I'm about to change your perception.  Or at least tell you a few stories in which "change in perception" serves as the common thread.  Either way, I've already given you a glimpse of a questionably sexy ass crack and made a funny joke about Meth.  I'd say it's in your best interest that you continue...  

So get you read on, pimps.  And enjoy...

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Checking for Cheez Teds Under the Hood...


Well then.  Quite the little week we had there, wasn't it?  The sports landscape as we know it was, to a certain degree, reshaped, and now we're headlong into the usual end of Summer sports orgy that just a few weeks ago looked as if it might never come to fruition.  But it has.  The NFL is back, with it's uber-condensed off season burning up the news wire; and Major League Baseball is hitting it's Summer stride,  heading towards another stretch run in which all the teams that really matter should be right there with a shot to win it right up through the first weeks of Fall.  Yeah, sorry Pittsburgh.  That means you're probably out.  Which is just as well, too.  It's bad enough that we have to deal with both of the Ryan brothers and the boisterous "Cheez Teds" in Philly, right now.  Adding a second legit team for the city of Pittsburgh to yap about is just something I don't need...
This kid gets it!
Cheez Teds: The official leftover snack
of the pro sports ghetto

What I do need, is an outlet for all these thoughts and impressions I've been bottling up for the past week and a half.  Or rather, thanks to Al Gore and the millions of Interweb nerds to follow, I already have that outlet, and I just need to get around to utilizing it.  That's "Rooch-eese" for "it's time to get writing".  Had I said it in Cheez Ted-eese, it probably would have just more or less been me unknowingly urinating on myself and drunkenly touting the merits of a fictitious boxer than it would have been me actually talking.  Great if I were sending in an audition tape to Cops, but not exactly how I'm trying to get my weekly column started...

Maybe some day, when I decide to a piece on the finer points of eating dairy out of a can or booing my own players, I'll give that intro a second look.  But not today.  Today, I've got the mind of a hooded genius to dissect, and a few predictions concerning the red hot Red Sox that many of the fans probably aren't going to like.  I'll stop short of comparing them to the '01 Mariners, but trust me, you're probably not gonna be pumped...

I'll let you be the judge, tho.  Getcha read on, pimps...