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Friday, October 28, 2011

Week 8 Picks: Frees-E Does It...


So, was that the best World Series game ever last night?  You bet your ass it was.  I know basically nobody saw it, as has been the case with most of this series (they nearly lost the ratings war to the Saints/Colts blowout on Sunday night), but in becoming the first team in baseball history to score in the 8th, 9th, 10th, AND 11th innings of a playoff game, the St. Louis Cardinals made sure that the 2011 World Series will inevitably go down as one of the all time greats...

Carter, Puckett, Fisk and...Freese?
Even in the 1st, an inning I caught on my radio, when St. Louis starter, Jaime Garcia, had to wiggle out of a tough jam just to hold the deficit at 1?  You just knew it was gonna be a good game.  I mean, duh, it was game 6 of the World Series, but you just got the feeling it was gonna be a great game.  In all honesty, I completely lost that feeling around the time Beltre and Cruz homered in the 3 run 7th, but that probably only made from the 8th inning on all that much more enjoyable.  A signature game, for an already epic World Series...

And what about freaking David Freese?  A 2 run triple in the 9th to tie it, and then the game winning home run?!  Sick.  Oh and I confidently tell you, off the top of my head, that Freese's game winner was only the 4th in World Series game 6 history, as he joined  Kirby Puckett, Joe Carter & Carlton Fisk.  And how do I know that so readily?  Well, my friends, that's because it was the AFLAC trivia question in about the 4th inning.  Coincidence?  Absolutely, but I'm sure that's not stopping some enthusiastic conspiracy theorists out there.  They're also betting on which is manager is more likely to have a relapse into drug/alcohol abuse if their team loses, though, so I wouldn't take those degenerati (plural for degenerates) too seriously.  But for the record, the smart money's obviously on Wash, but I also get the feeling that win OR lose, there's gonna be another YouTube of a drunken LaRussa, takin' a dump in an Arby's parking lot or something.  SO take that into account if you decide to toss your loots into the ring...

Arby's. 2 AM.  Bring a hose...
Ahhh, yes.  The Fall Classic.  It really is the complete entertainment package.  So get to watchin', before it's gone.  Or don't, and just watch football.  Which is what you're gonna do, anyway, and why you've come to seek my sage advice.  Can't fault you there, I guess, so here we go.  I'ts week 8, and just as it seems we'd only begun, we're halfway through.  My how time flies when you're raking in the cakes...

Enjoy...


Week 8 Picks
Still one of the league's best rivalries...
New England Patriots (-2.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Never a good spot, betting on a road favorite against similar competition, which is why I'm glad this week that isn't the case.  Bam!  Yeah, I think the Steelers are still a good football team, but this year they just aren't healthy enough to compete with the league's best.  IE The Patriots, Saints & of course, the Green Bay Packers.  I'm sure they'll put up a fine showing against the Patriots at home, I just think that in the end New England's offensive firepower will win out...

Oh, and for all the Patriots fans out there that are always bitching (justifiably so) about the lack of pass rush?  Well, this week that will probably work to their advantage.  You want Big Ben in the pocket.  Once he leaves and makes more time for himself, coverage breaks down, and he's able to use his absolute cannon of an arm to make virtually any throw no matter what position his body may be in, and what defenders may be hanging from him.  He'll undoubtedly get at least 1 or 2 of those off in this one, but the key is to limit those opportunities.  I think the Pats can do that, largely because it's their MO, and for that reason they should be able to walk out of Shittsburgh with at least a 3 point win...

Had to get at least one of those jabs in there.  That city freakin sucks.  Just sayin'...    


New York Giants (-9.5) vs Miami Dolphins

You say "Suck for Luck", and I say "Takin' Dives for Drew".  Whatever you call it, it's what the Miami Dolphins are doing right now, as they embarrass themselves with their performance on a weekly basis.  They say it's not true, and TE Anthony Fasano went as far as to call the fans that were cheering that philosophy were "sick", but whether it's intentional or not, it's what's going on, and everyone can see it.  Hell, at this point I'd say I was doing it on purpose, just to sorta save face a little bit.  I bet they even have one of those cardboard cutouts of Luck in the locker room, like in Major League, where they take off one piece at a time after every game they lose.  I mean, I hope it's not him naked on the other side of the pieces they take off, but I think you get what I'm saying.  Maybe they could just have fully nude Lindsay Lohan on the other side of those cardboard cutouts.  After all, she is doing Playboy, and she's probably not averse to being associated with some sucking, either...

With Colston back, Brees & the Saints
are that much more dangerous
New Orleans Saints (-13) @ St. Louis Rams

I mentioned the Saints before in my list of the NFL's elite.  You know who wasn't on that list?  The St. Louis Rams.  They're Takin' Dives for Drew, too, at 0-6, but with Sam Bradford, they'd probably be wise to deal the pick rather than keep it.  Get a nice little bounty for that sucker, right there.  Maybe trade it to the Raiders for a few first round picks...oh, wait...

Fun fact: Carson Palmer threw more picks (3) than he was traded for (2) in his first game for the Raiders.  Not at all related to this game, but still hilarious.  And if Al Davis didn't die mentally 20 years ago, and physically a few months ago, he'd be livid...because he would have traded 3 1st round picks for Palmer, and somehow TO would have also involved.  Oh Al, you freaking legend.  We miss ya, you crazy bastard...


San Francisco 49ers (-8.5) vs Cleveland Browns

The Browns aren't anything special against the run, and I expect the Niners to expose that fact.  When San Fran can run the ball, they can dominate the game, and that's what'll likely happen here.  The less Alex Smith has to do, the more effective he can be, and he shouldn't have to do too much with Frank Gore and the offensive line shouldering most of the offensive load...

Buffalo Bills (-4.5) vs Washington Redskins (Toronto)

Buffalo's coming off their bye, and the Redskins are a mess, having switched QBs and lost two key members of their offense (Tim Hightower, Santana Moss).  That's enough for me.  I know that means Mike Shanahan will probably pluck two guys off the street to replace his multi-million dollar stars, and those guys will probably both have 100+ yards.  That's what he does, but I still don't think it will be enough against a Buffalo team that you've gotta think is focused and motivated after spending their bye week stewing over a 3 point loss to the Giants...


Seattle Seahawks (+3) vs Cincinnati Bengals

I would have figured Petey Carrol to be #1 in line when it came to Suckin' for Luck, but apparently not.  Even with Tavaris Jackson calling the snaps, and Marshawn Lynch being the best known member of the offense.  Now, they're not "good", by any stretch of the imagination, but they're not awful, and they're not laying down.  For some reason, I find that impressive.  I also wouldn't be shocked if Carrol were trying to lose, but somehow managed to be 2-4, though, so I'm not gonna hurt myself jumping up to pat him on the back...

We'll see what they've got in this one, as they're traditionally one of the league's best at home, but will have to face a well rested Cincy team that comes in having won it's last 3 before the bye.  My eyes tell me Cincinnati should win, but my brain's telling me to take Seattle at home with the points, because that almost always works.  SO take that for what it's worth.  I think Cincinnati's better, I think they should win, but I'm taking Seattle.  In other words, don't bet on this game...


Philadelphia Eagles (-3) vs Dallas Cowboys + UNDER 51

This is a statement game for the Eagles.  Hell, it's a statement game for both teams, but for the Eagles, the statement is going to be "FUCK!" if this team drops to 2-5 while losing at home to their division rival.  This was a team that many predicted would contend for the Super Bowl, and while I didn't think that (I had the Falcons...), I do think they're going to start playing better sooner rather than later.  Starting this week coming out of their bye...

It's Vick in Prime Time VS Romo in Prime Time.  One's a showman, and one's a choke artist.  It may turn into a shootout, but in the end I think we all know which QB we'd want in there if this thing turns into a straight up dog fight.  Ya know, like when two planes are shooting at each other?  Yep, just a good old fashioned dog fight.  And who doesn't love a good dog fight, I ask you?  Nobody I know, that's for sure...

Droppin Bows on 'em???
As for the rest of the slate, I like Indy to bounce back and grab some dignity against a familiar foe, and of course I like Tebow and his disciples to keep it close for another last second shot against the Lions.  Then, after they win and he's done "Tebowing", I fully expect him to run over to Jim Schwartz, toss Holy water on him, and pray for his eternal soul as it begins to melt him to the ground like the Wicked Witch of the West...

What, would that honestly shock you at this point?  I didn't think so...

Indianapolis Colts (+8.5) @ Tennessee Titans

Carolina Panthers (-3) vs Minnesota Vikings

Baltimore Ravens (-12.5) vs Arizona Cardinals

Jacksonville Jaguars (+9.5) @ Houston Texans + UNDER 42

Denver Broncos (+3) vs Detroit Lions


Monday Night
Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5) vs San Diego Chargers

Watching the Chargers inability to finish that game against the Jets last weekend must have really been disconcerting to their fans.  Here they are, an established QB and his longtime coach, and they look completely lost when attempting to run their 2 minute drill.  IT was pretty embarrassing, and it's not a good sign moving forward.  Due in part to that less than confidence inspiring performance, I'll take the subtly resurgent Chiefs, who've gone 3-0 since an 0-3 start despite not doing so it such an impressive fashion.  They'll be able to hang with San Diego at home, though, and should be able to use that extra momentum provided by Monday Night to pull out what will easily be their biggest win of the season.  It's still an embarrassing division unworthy of a playoff spot this year, but at least they'll be leading it!..

Last Week: 7-7-1

Overall: 73-52-4 (.581)


So this week's goal was to pay homage to Andrew Luck, and show some hot chicks from Stanford.  Well, according to Google Images, there's one hot chick at Stanford, and it's backpack boobs up there.  Not bad, and I get the "ooooh I'm naked but you know I'm smart because I have a backpack that's probably got real big books in it" theme they're workin' there, but it just wasn't enough...

Then, I decided I'd give props to Michigan St.  Their game winner against Wisconsin last week was epic, and I figured they deserved some love.  So that's where we get picture #2.  But there weren't a ton of MSU pics, either, so I decided to go back and check to see if maybe Andrew Luck had himself a hot girlfriend.  Maybe post a picture of her.  Well, I'm not sure if he does or not, because when I typed that search term in, that little USC clad cutie was the first image that popped up.  SEARCH OVER!  Almost 100% certain she's NOT Andrew Luck's girlfriend, and like 75% sure that she tells people she's related to the Kardashians, but let's not get caught up in the details.  She's smokin' hot, she's got college shit on, and you know any second she's about to do the "oh, is that my ass?" pose, which is oddly one of most attractive poses there is.  Which is to make not mention of that delicately placed belly button ring which looks so appropriate that you wonder if it just naturally grew out of her stomach because her body just felt that she needed it.  Yeah.  Done and done...   

As for the games this week, I'd get into telling you how and why I came to my conclusions, but instead I'll just point to my record.  Almost at 70%.  Yeah, so if you like winning, I'd follow my advice.  OR don't, and just spend a few more minutes staring at those lovely coeds.  Either way, it should prove to be well worth your time, and my effort...

NCAA Top 25 Picks
(3) Oklahoma St. (-14) vs Baylor

(4) Stanford (-7.5) @ (20) USC

(6) Clemson (-3.5) @ Georgia Tech

Vanderbilt (+10) vs (8) Arkansas

(9) Michigan St. (+4.5) @ (13) Nebraska

(10) Kansas St. (+14) vs (11) Oklahoma

Ohio St. (+7) vs (12) Wisconsin

Tennessee (+4) vs (14) South Carolina

(16) Texas A&M (-11) vs Missouri

Purdue (+13.5) @ (17) Michigan

(21) Penn St. (-5.5) vs Illinois

Florida (+3) vs (22) Georgia (Jacksonville, FL)

Rutgers (+7) vs (25) West Virginia


Last Week: 9-3-0

Overall: 58-26-0 (.690)


Well, there ya have it.  I know there's still a lot going on with the Red Sox, and some sweeping collegiate athletic reforms, but that will all have to wait.  Probably til early next week.  Until then, good luck in all your weekend ventures, and I'll catch you on the flipman...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

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