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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

You're Ruinin' My Summmmah!


Well, that's it, kids...

Results be damned, and with still more than 50 games to play, I'm ready to christen the Red Sox 2010 campaign as "The Lost Season". And you read that incredibly convenient introduction right. "Results be damned". But before I dip into the doom and gloom, and into why my intro puts me in danger of getting an anal cavity full of splinters, allow me to get this week's Nation started with a couple of lighter tidbits, also of the baseball variety...


MLB Tidbits/Dan Duquette & The Dirty Water Dogs...

"Avoid the Clap" - Jimmy Dugan

OK, that might not be a relevant piece of baseball news, but that's good advice, dammit. And considering what you're about to hear next, it might not even be the most dangerous illness you'll have to avoid on your next trip to the ballpark...


ESPN's Outside the Lines, where you get older but Bob Ley stays the same age, recently did an expose on food at professional sports stadiums around the country. Needless to say, the results didn't exactly pass the white glove test. For instance, @ Yankee Stadium, the self proclaimed Mecca of baseball but apparently not hygiene, 48% of their vendors were found to be in violation of various health codes, and an unopened bottle of Chivas Regal was found to have fruit flies floating in it. Nice. Were it a few weeks later, this is where I'd crack wise about how maybe it was a Stadium calzone that did Steinbrenner in, but instead I'll just leave that one alone...for now

If you wanna check out the entire list yourself, I've got it for ya right here, but if you really wanna avoid getting the runs at your favorite sporting establishment I advise you follow just one simple rule: Once you're in the park, only buy packaged items and beer. You remember the song, right? "Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks". It doesn't say anything about going to Chase Field and getting salmonella poisoning at TGIFridays, right? I didn't think so. So stick to the song, and you should be fine. OR write a version of the song called "Make Me Puke At the Ballgame", and become an Intraweb sensation on YouTube. Either way...


As the saying goes, "You can't keep a good man down". And as my saying goes, "Ted is what Ted does". Case subject: Former Red Sox General Manager, Dan Duquette...

The man best known for claiming to replace Mo Vaughn with Jose Offerman and coining the loser ballad "More days in 1st place", is at it again. Now, instead of offering excuses, he's offering information, as both a scout and a snitch...

"Scout" as in he's been to monitor the progress of the 13 year old knuckleballer....who happens to be chick. AND "snitch", as in he's been talking to various low level media outlets about how he knows there is more than enough evidence to all but put the smoking syringe in Roger Clemens' hands...

Hey Dan. Nobody cares. I respect the fact that you want to stay in baseball, but if this is what you consider "staying in baseball", then I'm afraid to say you've lost all touch with reality...

I'm mean seriously, Dan, a knuckleballing chick? I'm all for novelty and equality, but please. "Girls are for sleeping with after the game, not for coaching during the game!" (thanks again, Mr. Dugan). And as for the Clemens shit, you had your chance to speak out about steroid use when you were a GM. Then, you had a platform from which to speak. Now? Well now you look like...well, you just come off looking like what you probably are. An attention hungry, media whore. And nobody likes a media whore, Dan. Nobody. Especially not one who wasn't all that good at their job to begin with and/or isn't a hot young socialite. And you, my friend, are neither. So beat it...

Keeping with roids and the Teds who love them...


I've been monitoring ARod's chase for 600 home runs, and the longer it takes him, the more apparent it is that people simply don't care about these milestones anymore. At least not when it comes to the steroid users. It's really a shame, too, because as an ardent fan of the numbers that baseball and it's fans hold in such high esteem, I feel I've almost been robbed of a generation. Robbed of a rite of passage, if you will. I'm sure I'll get most of what I've lost back when I get to ardently argue against the inclusion of these juice heads into the Hall, but that hardly seems like a suitable replacement. It's a number's game, after all, and while there's plenty left to enjoy, it won't be until the perceived fraternity that is 'The Players of the Steroid Era' are all gone and retired that the numbers will again be able to meaningfully take center stage. And as a stats nerd, I long for that day...

And speaking of stats AND roids...


What's the deal with all the no hitters? Matt Garza pitched the 5th no hitter of the season last night, making that the most in one season since 7 were tossed in 1991. Hmmmmm. 1991, you say? That's right about the time most players started resembling body builders, wasn't it?..

Ha! Naaahh, I'm actually here to tell you I don't think the new steroid testing policy has anything to do with the influx of no hitters, and is more just a result of the aforementioned numbers game. A quick look at the all time list of no hitters will tell you that in 1956, for instance, there were 4 no hitters tossed, while from 1957-1960, there were only 2. And I don't remember there being any sort of steroid conversation going on back them. Booze and amphetamines, maybe, but not steroids...

It's just the nature of the beast, the nature of variance, and as I told a friend of mine earlier this morning, it'll take another 5-10 years of them being thrown at this clip before we'd be able to draw any sort of conclusion. In 5 years, if there are still being 4+ no hitter's be thrown on a yearly basis, then maybe I'll consider the fact that it's drug related. Until then, I say they were all on steroids, anyway, and 2010 will merely serve as the proverbial statistical anomaly. Like what Colonel Sanders was talkin' about in the 3rd Matrix movie. You know, in that room with all the TVs? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Freakin' diabolical, tasty chicken makin' bastard...

Now, it's onto the Sox, seemingly playing in a matrix all their own without a Colonel in sight...


Red Sox Update
Overall:
56-44 3rd in AL East 8 games back

This Week: @ LAA (7/27-7/28) vs DET (7/30-8/1) vs CLE (8/2-8/5)

Pop Quiz: What's the difference between 58-40 and 56-44?

Answer: 36%

Struggling with the math there, are ya? Well you should be, because that reference was about as tongue in cheek as they come. The 36% obviously has nothing to do with the difference in wins or losses from a year ago as the question suggests, but instead points to the decline in game viewership on NESN over that same 365 day period. Only 2 games difference in record, yet the number of people watching has gone down well over a third. And sure they may have been only 2.5 games out last year while today they sit a full 8 games behind, but such a drastic decline can really only mean one thing...

The Pink Hats don't care about the Red Sox this year.

Hey, I know I have an undeserved reputation as being a holier than thou fan who calls everyone that's not a stats nerd a Pink Hat, but in this case the numbers really speak for themselves. And that's to say nothing of the fact that the Red Sox current home sellout streak, which hit 600 straight this past weekend, hasn't seemed legit since about halfway through May...

People just aren't interested. Especially not after coming down off the playoff highs of both the Celtics and Bruins. And while I'm not holding the fans responsible for the team's current 5 game playoff deficit, the lack of interest does play a large part into why I'm more than ready to dub this "The Lost Season"...

Fans aren't watching, the team has no identity, and there doesn't seem to be any hope on the horizon. That's about as lost as it gets, isn't it? And even with the injured stars making their way back to the lineup, it seems that while it may not be a case of "too late", it's definitely a case of "way too little"...

From day 1 I've said that this team would need another big bat @ the trade deadline to compete, and while Theo Epstein is known for pulling off trades that nobody was even speculating about, this year's roster just doesn't seem to lend itself to that sort of remedy. If anything, this roster looks ripe for a selloff. My heart tells me that's only going to happen if this team happens to lose say 4 of their next 5, but as opposed to year's past, picturing the Sox as sellers as the trade deadline approaches isn't that far fetched of an idea...

You can't add a DH, because of Papi, and you can't add a corner infielder or a catcher because of Youk, Beltre and Victor are the best offensive weapons you have. So that leaves outfield. And for the life of me, I just don't see Theo making a move in that capacity. At best I think he views Ellsbury coming back as that move, and seems more than willing to go the rest of the way with Drew, Cameron, et al, manning down the outfield spots. Not exactly inspiring, right? Yeah, I don't think so either...

Do they have enough pitching? Well starting pitching they have in spades, and if their bullpen were the only problem this would seem at least a more managable fix. But it's not. The problems are with the lineup, and while the numbers will tell you they still remain one of the best run producing clubs in the game, the lack of a consistent lineup has been a problem and looks to continue to be one that will plague them even deeper into the summer...

But there's my catch 22. True I've dubbed this "The Lost Season", and I don't like their chances from here on out, but that doesn't mean the team as constituted still can't make it happen. They have the pitching, as I just said, and if their lineup does gel together there's no reason to think they can't make up the 5 games on the Rays with 52 left to play. But even should they make a run, and perhaps even get into the playoffs, I'll still have to label this as "The Lost Season". Lost, if for no other reason, because it was the season that the Pink Hats made their mass exodus. Or at the very least, the season they finally showed their true colors...

And that would be YELLOW. Freakin' Pink Hats...

So there ya have it, kids. Hope you enjoyed. I'd like to thank all of you for the positive response to my Inception review last week, and remind you to get to your TV each and every Sunday to start watching the small screen masterpiece that is AMC's Mad Men. It's no longer "the best show nobody is watching", but if you're not watching it, you're missing out. And if anything, it will give you a better reference for when I tell you "I'm the Don Draper of this bitch". Because I am, and you best not be forgettin' it. And feel free to get me one of those "action figures". Collect all 4 mistresses! Ha! I love it...

Have a great week, everybody!


Teddy Williams...
Michael Vale...
100...


#$>

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dream On: Taking Exception With Inception...


Every once in a while, a movie comes along that changes things. Changes the way you look at life, or at the very least, alters your perspective. Inception, my friends, is NOT one of those movies. Yep, I saw Inception this weekend, and in lieu of these week's normal material, I've decided to hit you with a review. So if you haven't seen it, be fore warned. Some of what I say may ruin the movie for you. SO...yeah. SPOILER ALERT!...

Now before I get into my actual review, let me get one thing perfectly clear. I liked this movie. I didn't love it, mind you, but as far as cinematic experiences go, it was certainly more than just a decent time. And to give you even further reference, I gave it a 7.7/10 on my now mythical movie judging scale, a scale on which perfect 10.0's belong to films such as The Usual Suspects, No Country For Old Men and The Godfather I & II, with another Leonardo DiCaprio effort, The Departed, receiving a highly respectable 7.5. And keep The Usual Suspects at the front of your mind, because we'll get back to that later on...

As for the movie itself, there are certain aspects of it which I would give a perfect 10. The cinematography being chief among them. If nothing else, the movie is visually stunning and has a great flow to it. The special effects are great, the scenes are framed beautifully, and except for a slight lull about 3/4 of the way through (start of snow scene), the movie moves along at the pace of a Guy Ritchie caper flick minus the cockney accents and overindulgent transitions...

I'd also give high marks to the casting, just not a perfect 10 as I could have done with a different actress playing Leonardo DiCaprio's wife, "Mol". Either get me someone scarier, or me someone better looking. Either way, she just wasn't cuttin' it. And the name "Mol" is just sketch, too; Joesph Gordon Levitt gives an amazing performance ("J-Gord SLAYS in Inception, man!"), serving not only as the story's essential linchpin, but also impressing with his mind bending stunts, which he actually performed himself; And Leo? Well, Leo is just Leo. And while I wouldn't rank this as one of his top 5 acting performances (#1: Gangs of NY), he does more than enough to carry the movie, and per usual comes off as both the coolest and smartest guy in the room. Just vintage Leo, more or less, and that can never be a bad thing; The rest of the All Star cast does a great job, as well, and aside from Michael Caine only being in the film for a touch under 2 minutes, they all do their part to help move the film along. Again, just a great casting job...

The "concept", being able to live and operate in other people's dreams, also gets a good grade in my book. While it's not Matrix-esque in that there was no way I could have ever thought of it myself, it was indeed an original idea and one I was excited to see played out. And through crafty direction by Christopher Nolan, I think they were able to transport the viewers into that world with minimal effort and very little confusion. Essentially, it was a great idea, and it was executed beautifully...

My only beef, and the one that has prompted me to speak out against a movie that nearly everyone is cementing in their Top 10 of all time, is the ending. Or in my opinion, the lack there of. And make no mistake, I'm not holding a grudge based on the cliffhanger way in which the movie ended, I'm just disappointed that what I viewed as such a meaningless and trivial part of the movie is the one thing that everyone is walking away talking about...


For those that have seen the movie, (2nd SPOILER ALERT!) you know that I'm obviously talking about the spinning top that wobbled as the movie came to a close. While the scene itself was yet another well shot and well framed piece of film, the reaction to it has got me a little puzzled. For one, as my compadre, Frosco, so succinctly put it; If you hadn't already considered the fact that this whole movie could have been a dream, than I'm not sure you were completely paying attention. Hey, maybe it's an "ignorance is bliss" type of situation, but I for one had that thought in the back of my mind almost from the time I sat down and put my white shoes on the undoubtedly cola stained floor. For the "WOW" moment in a film about complex dreams to be that the whole movie could have been a complex dream? Yeah, sorry. That's not really shocking to me...

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, it really doesn't matter if he's dreaming or not! Think about it. If he's dreaming, and everything we saw was really only level 2 and deeper (in dream-speak), then how does that really change anything? Simply put, it doesn't. Either he was dreaming the whole time, or he wasn't. It doesn't change any other aspect of the film. I told you to remember Usual Suspects, and here's why. In the ending of that movie, you're hit with a realization that actually does change what went on during the previous two hours. Granted the filmmaker helps you come to that realization with the aide of flashbacks, but it's still a moment that changes what you thought about the rest of the movie and it's characters. With Inception, that's just not the case. At best that cliffhanger style ending leads you to think, "Wow, maybe that whole thing was just Leo dreaming?". Big deal. I liken it to if the last scene of The Matrix were just Neo being jolted awake in his own bed. Was he dreaming? Was it real? Well in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter, does it? Either the world you were shown was real or it wasn't, and with no more movie left to view, the answer to that question becomes rather inconsequential. And to be even more frank, as alluded to as recently as the "Stewie Kills Lois" episode on Family Guy, ending a film by questioning the reality you were just proposed is one of the cheapest tricks a filmmaker can play on an audience. No matter how sleekly it's produced. I guess what I'm saying is, is that I view the ending scene as clever from a cinematic standpoint, but counterproductive to how one should be judging the movie upon it's completion. More or less, it was just unnecessary...

But at the risk of droning on and being accused of not liking Inception, I'll stop my analysis right there and again let it be known that this is a film I would recommend anyone go see. And while I won't be seeing it in the theater again or installing it in my Top 10 (probably in the 30-50 range), I'll be eagerly awaiting it's TV debut so I can get a second look. After all, it was a very good movie, with many great performances and dozens of great scenes. IT's just that the final scene wasn't one of them. And for those that choose to dwell on it, well, well I think you're really missing most of what actually made that movie good...

Dream on, pimps, and I'll catch you next week with a more typical slate of Rooch Nation standards. You know, sports and the whatnot. But until then, stay cool and stay out of my dreams...and my car, for that matter...


How Billy Ocean missed out on the Inception soundtrack, I will never know...

And like that...(puff)...I'm gone...


Teddy Williams...
100...

#$>

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

LeDecision and LeFallout...



Well, my friends, the decision is in. And now that I've had a week to digest and dissect the clubhouse leader for "Decision of the Century", I'm finally ready to unveil my oh so anticipated analysis upon the masses...

Over the past several years, I've made it a point to go against the now standard one hour media cycle and actually try and think about major events like this before I offer my full opinion, at least in print. For the King's announcement, I made no exception. Now after a solid few days of thought, I feel I finally got my mind wrapped around this one. I've looked at it from all angles, sought all sorts of opinions, compared it to similar events in history and now, I've properly condensed all that information into a succinct little blog post. And better yet, I've got it even more narrowly compiled into a little something that I like to call a thesis statement. Yes, my friends, a thesis statement...

Lebron James free agent signing, with the Miami Heat in July 2010, forever changed the way business was done in the NBA.

And to keep with the succinctness. Here are the 3 main reasons why:

1) Taking less than market value on the eve of a negotiations for a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, James and his wingmen have damaged the Player's Union and the ability of it's member's to get fair market deals. If the other side can always answer with "Well not even LeBron makes the maximum...", well, that's just not exactly a position of strength when it comes to negotiations...

2) The collusion-like interaction between the 3 premier free agents essentially exposed a loophole in the "free agent" system that, if invoked by other elite players (paging Carmelo Anthony), could lead to a lopsided dispersal of talent. Granted that could lead to a field of fewer but better teams, something I've always said was necessary to restore at least my interest, but in the short term it's more likely to decimate more than a few of the league's less than profitable franchises. And let's be clear, it's not technically collusion because they were all free agents, but believe me when I say their perceived manipulation of the system will not go unnoticed...

AND


3) "The Decision" itself, and the special programming and hype surrounding it, have introduced a form of self promotion that will no doubt be replicated by athletes across all sports in years to come. And unfortunately, probably by all the wrong people (I'm lookin' at you, Darrelle Revis, and not just because you're in a photo with a bunch of my buddies in Las Vegas this past weekend). The 7.3 Nielsen rating ESPN received for the show is only going to go further towards encouraging other athletes to do the exact same thing when their turn at free agency rolls around. No matter what David Stern may have said...


So there it is, kids. That's why I think the LeBron James signing will forever change the way business is done in the NBA. Now, it's on to how I actually feel about it. That was all show "business", and now it's time to deal with the show "friends" aspect of this whole dilemma. AKA. How poorly Lebron handled this...

Of all the parties involved in "The Decision", the only one I really see coming out smelling like the proverbial rose here is the Miami Heat and their fiscal benefactors. They actually get to reap the financial benefits from having the newest "Big 3". Other than that, I really don't see another winner here...

Wade? Bosh? OK, they don't look all that bad in all of this, but they're hands aren't exactly clean in all this. But Lebron? The Cavs? The Player's Union? They all took serious hits here, ones from which I find it hard to believe any of them will be able to recover...


First and foremost, there's Lebron himself. His image. Not since (and not really before, either) Alex Rodriguez, has a player gone from universally revered to 50/50 LOVE/HATE in this sort of instantaneous, overnight fashion. The way he handled the whole process, right up to and including him not calling the Cavs before announcing his decision, justifiably has cast him in a dark light in the eyes of many fans of those very teams that were courting him. Oh, and if you didn't notice, those teams that he spurned (NY, NJ, CHI, LAC, CLE) happen to dominate just a few of the bigger markets the NBA has to offer. Yeah, so it's safe to say there are going to be a few additional hostile environments these 3 can add to their slate over the next few years...

I mean, I get what he was doing with the move, and I can even sort of respect his willingness to take less money to increase his chances of winning, but to handle it the way he did just doesn't make any sense to me. IF he's taking less money for a chance to win rings and thereby strengthen his brand, fine. Go for it. But at least have the decency and respect to inform the teams you've been dealing with of your decision a few minutes before you tell the rest of America...

I mean, did he really not think that was gonna rub people the wrong way?! And I don't wanna hear how it would have leaked and ruined the freakin' TV special, either! That's why you don't have a freakin' TV special, you Teddius Maximus! That's how the system works, dammit! All stories like this get leaked! Why? Because there's always some media whore or entourage member with a secret they can't keep and a bill they can't pay. That's why. Then everyone plays the confirm/deny game for a little while, and then, after a little more fanfare, there's an official announcement. That's how it works, man. That's business, right there. He tells the Cavs thanks, but no thanks, and while sure it might still get leaked, at least there isn't as deep a sense of betrayal. I mean who knows after seeing what Cavs Owner, Dan Gilbert, wrote. But had Lebron acted that way it only would have gone to making Gilbert's remarks look all the more out of line. It's like, there's a right and wrong way to dump a significant other, and the way Lebron treated his suitors was far from what Emily Post would have suggested. Essentially, he dumped the Cavs on FaceBook. And since they've yet to answer the call for the "Dislike button", Gilbert had to take to the newspapers. Not that anyone can blame him for his reaction, even if only half of his allegations are true, just should have known better than to put it on blast. But hey, another millionaire that probably got that way by shooting his mouth off, speaking his mind and going against the norm. So what the Hell do I know?...

And while many of you will say that winning will save his image, and I'm sure you're right, we're going to have to let him finishing tarnishing it first before he can ever start to rebuild it. It's all but fully out there now that LBJ had made a decision before Bosh signed with the Heat days earlier, but James himself said he was swayed by advice from his mother the morning of his announcement. Hmmmm. Maybe that's why he didn't sound like his usual cool and collected self. Maybe he was trying to slip us a fib. Maybe he thought that would be enough to prevent the burning of any bridges. "Oh, I would have told you, but I just decided while I was drinkin' from that bubbler in the Boys & Girls Club". Right. But hey, he is only 25. Maybe he thought it would work. I know there were a lot of things I thought would work at 25 that didn't. Tedslist.com, for instance. Yeah, I had a waayy better idea for that URL, I'll tell you what...

Which leads me to my conclusion. Those same English teachers that were lauding my for my use of the thesis are now condemning me for "announcing" my conclusion, but I digress...

What I take from Lebron James signing from the Heat is this. It was a potentially very shrewd and ballsy business decision, handled in a very unprofessional and immature manner. Simple as that. Did he and his cohorts manipulate the system? Sure. But it was there to be taken advantage of, and it's their right to do so. Will it work out in the long run? Well in terms of the Heat and his legacy, I would guess NO. Anything short of 2 titles in the 6 year window will be considered a failure, and seeing as I still view the Lakers as the best team in the NBA, and I figure at least 1-2 other Super Teams will be created in that time span to challenge them, I don't really see them bringing home more than 2. As for the NBA? Will everything work out for them? Well as I said before, I think this day will go down in history as the day the first domino fell in changing the way business is done in the NBA. As usual, it will be up to the fans to determine whether that change is for the better or for the worse...

We've dealt with "The Decision", now all that's left to do is sit and await "The Fallout"...

And there you have it, kids. A new RoochNation nickname is born. From hence forth, Lebron James will no longer be known as "LBJ" or "The King". From this day on, he'll be known simply as "Fallout Boy". And not after the gay band, either...


"George Burns was right: Show biz is a horrible bitch goddess." - Bart Simpson

And we just WITNESSED show biz, for all the good and bad it has to offer...

Now, with the newly ordained Fallout Boy in our rearview for the time being, let's take a little peek at the Sox as they hit the halfway mark, along with a few other potent potables to round out the week...


(photo courtesy of BostonDirtDogs)

Red Sox Update
Overall:
51-37, 3rd place 5 games back of NYY in AL East

There are two things that have really surprised me about the Sox through the nominal first half of the season. Nominal, as NYY's radio man, John Sterling, would point out, because while it may be the All Star Break, we've already played past the 81 game mark in the season. But that's just symantics. If I were to stay here all day writing about how John Sterling views the world, well let's just say I'd probably end up 3/4 of the way through a good bottle and 9/10 of the way through all of your patience...

So the two things that have really surprised me about the Sox first half have been the lack of of people watching the games, and the lack of people I can name actually playing in the games. It's a freakin' MASH unit, out there. I've even gone to the lengths of creating a drinking game out of it. If you can't name the guy at the plate before they tell you, then you have to drink. Pretty ingenius, huh? You'll be wrecked by the time they get to Gustavo Molina! Who?! Exactly!..

But fun drinking games and impressive play by no-namers aside, 5 games back at the break is still 5 games back at the break. I'll admit it's been an enjoyable 1st half based on pure entertainment value, but 5 games out in the East, 3 out of the Wild Card, and a laundry list of injuries, isn't exactly a stellar resume when you're more than halfway home. It doesn't mean it's time to pack it in, by any means, it just means that it's pretty obvious that another half like this one just isn't going to get the job done...

If players can come back healthy, that should be enough to carry them into the Wild Card, but I still think they're going to need to add another bat to give them any real chance at making noise in the playoffs. Let's just put it this way. If the Yankees were thinking of adding Cliff Lee and they're 5 games up, then any team 5 games back is going to have to keep their eye toward improving their roster as well if they want to compete. It's just common sense...

So despite the seemingly uphill battle the Sox face in the 2nd half of the season, I'm still upbeat and optimistic. Should this current band of misfits actually hold it together and get the Sox to the playoffs, that would be a story for the ages. But as entertaining as that would be to watch, I'd still rather they do it the traditional way, with their stars making the plays in the biggest and most important moments...

Props to Papi for winning the Home Run Derby last night, and here's to hopin' he doesn't now go through the traditional 2nd half dive most champions tend to take. Oddly enough, I have a feeling it's not going to effect him...

News + Notes

As I was typing this post the news came down of the passing of New York Yankee's legendary owner, George Steinbrenner. The man was a character, a pioneer, an amazing business man, and the perfect villain for an entire generation of Red Sox fans. RIP Big Stein. It's the end of an era, and you will be forever missed. Baseball, and it's fans all over the world, owe you a great debt of gratitude...you crazy, calzone lovin' bastard...


On a less somber note, Mad Men Season 4 finally gets underway later this month, with the premeir slated for Sunday night, July 25th, @ 10 o'clock. So you can stop watching that predictably craptacular abortion of a show known to the masses as Entourage, and head over to what is hands down the best drama to hit to small screen since a gang of Northern Jersey Italians used to frequent the Bada Bing. They're airing all the previous seasons right now on AMC, so you still have time to catch up if you'd like. Me? I'll be using that spare time to polish my sterling silver cigarette case and iron my debonair suits. After all, I'm the Don Draper of this bitch. And you best be rememberin'...


Also on the entertainment front, I've actually pegged my chances at 30% that I go see the new Leonardo Dicaprio movie, Inception, at the movie theater. Which is a damn high %, I might add, seeing as the last time I saw a movie in the theater was American Gangster (2007) and before that it was The Departed (2006). Matter of fact, to get me any higher than 30% would probably take Leo, Denzel and the Coen Brothers, doing a movie about the Red Sox (a jheri curled Denzel as Pedro, pelase?), so to say that Inception is right at that threshold should tell you how good I think it looks...

Hey, could just be a great trailer and a great cast, but the HBO behind the scenes special says otherwise, so hopefully I'll be giving it a look. Maybe even in IMAX. Oooooooo. Hey, might as well go all out in my 3rd movie in 5 years, right?..


And there we have it, friends. Another edition of the Nation come and gone like so many soccer fans over the last week, yet without the annoying hum of their wanton sex horns. I hope you can find a little All Star Break in your life this week, and I hope that should I ever leave Attleboro, that you don't burn my high school basketball jerseys on my way out the door...

Have a great week, peeps! Roll on, Summer. Roll on...


Teddy Williams...
Kaiser Soze...
Rollo Tomasi...
Enrico Palazzo...
100..

I'm out!

#$>

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Don't Hassle Me, I'm Doing Local News...


Summer greetings, everyone...

It's a notoriously vacation laden time right now in radio land, as all the big time jocks take their oft used vacation time, leaving guys like me to pick up the slack. That's why, instead of a full and comprehensive edition of The Nation this week, you'll have to settle for this still witty, yet much abridged version. Hey, it's not my new 5 AM to 2 PM schedule is wreaking havoc with my body clock, but unfortunately, it's something you as my loyal readers are just going to have to accept as fact...

So, while I'd love to talk about the respective incarcerations of my favorite druggie and my favorite male Asian, or discuss how Elin did Eddie Murphy proud by going Mm-Fufu on T-Woods (HALF!), those topics will just have to wait until after my own, not so restful, All Star break has reached it's conclusion. When I return, I'll have the full breakdown on LeBron's ultimate decision, thoughts on of the first half of the baseball season, and of course updates on all things jailhouse ranging from guys that eat meat for a living to chicks that...well...yeah, you can finish that thought yourself with the rather blatant pun that I'm sure you were able to piece together...

Until then, Don't Hassle Me, just sweat me. And you can do that by logging on to http://www.790business.com/ between 6 and 10 am to hear yours truly doing local news updates on Imus in the Morning. It's all the news that's fit to speak, baby...and all the news I can actually fit in the 20 seconds I get each hour that's not taken up by a traffic report or a sponsor...

Until then, good luck to all my fellow East Coasters in beating the heat, and good luck to my girl Lindsay Lo in finding an appropriate crevice in which to smuggle her much needed "medication" into the pen with her...

And don't worry, Linds. I'll wait for you...


Right, like you wouldn't wait for that side boob, too...

Be good, peeps! And stay cool!


Teddy Williams...
100...

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