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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Picks: No Yammy, No Yammy, No Yammy. STOP!!



It's Thanksgiving, kids, and I'm giving thanks, by giving you a gift. That gift? Well it's access to my brain, of course. And while it might not go well with gravy, and you can't eat it the next day between 2 pieces of bread, the delicious treat I'm passing along may very well be the best part of your sure to be busy Thursday...

So enjoy, my friends. Both my picks and your Thanksgiving. I know you don't like your relatives, but pretend like you do for just one day, and I promise everything will be just fine. OK, maybe not. But between the football and the football, I'm sure you'll be able to distract yourself enough to still have a good time...

Get your eat on, pimps. It's turkey time, and it's time to chase that money...

Gobble, Gobble...

Thanksgiving Day Picks



Green Bay Packers (-11) @ Detroit Lions

It's Thanksgiving, it's the Beard, and it's the Lions...

Nuff said.

You might be wise to take the OVER 47.5 too, seeing as Rodgers and the Pack could easily hang 35 on the "L as in Lions", OR this could turn into another sketchy shootout i.e last week's scrubfest with the Browns...

Me? I happen to think the entire Packer team is rounding into form, so I'll hold off on the 47.5 and just take the Pack at the -11...

Rodgers, Jennings, Grant and Driver split the TurDucken, and everyone drives home safely. Or actually scratch that. The poeple in Detroit can't even afford cars anymore. So I guess walk home safely. And keep an eye out for the trash can fires and the bums with knives. They want stuffing, too, and some of them are off their meds, which could result in a dicey situation...

On second thought, I'd just watch this one from home, Lion fans. That is if you haven't had to sell your TV or burn it for warmth. Ahhhh, bad economy jokes. Will they ever get old? This blogger says No f'n way...




Oakland Raiders (+13.5) @ Dallas Cowboys

I thought the Raiders would be better than advertised this year, and I thought the Cowboys would implode. Two birds, one stone, and all while I'm inhaling delicious desserts...

I believe that's what they call "having your cake, eating it too, and watching too crappy teams with two hideous coaches, do their best not to embarrass themselves on National TV"

But hey, if you believe in karma at all, you might wanna take the Cowboys in a blowout. I mean, I figure Wade Phillips has a gullet, right? And who better to thrive on a day when Turkey's are king than a big fat guy with more chins than...well you can go ahead and finish that Chinese slur on your own time...

On second though, if Phillips comes out with his billowing man-gullet painted red like a turkey, I'm making my parents refinance their house, selling my car, all my clothes, and putting every cent on the Cowboys. And if he has a pilgrim hat on, I'm gonna come rob all of you and put your money on that sucker, too. What? It's a funny hat, right? And isn't he essentially Terd Ferguson?...

Gobble, gobble, you fat, multi-chinned Ted...




New York Giants @ Denver Broncos OVER 41.5

Shady late night Turkey Day shootout? You bet your candy yams it is! But that begs the question, who's eating yams anyway. And what actually is a yam? It sounds like "ham" that comes from a Yak, but I know that's not true. For now, I'll just imagine that it's some sort of vegetable that poor people used to eat out of necessity, rich people now eat on special occasions, and I wouldn't eat if you spotted me set of false teeth and some mouth wash...

It is fun to say though. Say it with me. Yam. And you even do a "Press Your Luck" type deal with it, if you're really anti Yam like me. No Yammy, No Yammy, No Yammy, No Yammy. STOP! (cue that dude that appears to be the grandfather of the Little Caesar's Pizza mascot, doing a dance that resembles the one that Ashley Simpson did on SNL)




Still hungry? Well between turkey sandos and plate upon plate of leftover pie, dine on these college rivalry games for a little added snack. ME? I'll be bust helping Attleboro defend their '08 Turkey Bowl title against the prepsters from Bishop Feehan. It's like West Side story, only we don't have knives...or do we?

Get some...

NCAA Picks
Auburn (+10) vs (2) Alabama

(5) Cincinnati (-21) vs Illinois

(6) Boise St. vs Nevada OVER 70.5

West Virginia (+1) vs (8) Pittsburgh


One more time, Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble, Gobble...
100...


And one more thing. Since I'm really in the giving mood today, here's an awesome picture of Sheed. It's Sheedtastic!


So for real, I'm out. But not before I wish you and yours a truly Sheedtastic Thanksgiving. Nothin' like gettin' "T'd up" on "T-day"..

100...

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