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Thursday, June 25, 2009

1st and Ted...


While rumors continue to circulate that I've A) broken my computer, B) given up on blogging, or C) entered back into a Las Vegas rehab facility, I'm here to calm your nerves and end all suspicions...

To quote Bullet Tooth Tony in Snatch, "Whadya know? Still warm the blood that courses through my veins"...

I'm still here, strong as ever. To the dismay of many, but to the delight of those all important few. A few that's growing everyday, I might add...

But seeing as the summertime's got me swamped with Yankee games and jalapeno farming, I've had little time over the past few weeks to actually sit down and put all my wondrous thoughts down on virtual paper. From Phatty's latest choke job at the Open to Manny's return to the minors, there has been plenty for me to write about, just no time for me to do it...

Fear not. To again borrow a movie quote, this time from Homer Simpson, "I have devised the most eloquent solution"...

I started this blog several years ago to give handicapping tips to a lot of my friends who were degenerate football junkies. In essence, I was answering their questions on a weekly basis. Instead of them all asking me at different times, I figured I could kill all the birds with one stone by putting my "answers" online. Problem was, they would hardly read my picks, end up asking me in person anyway, and then proceed to go against what I said at least 75% of the time. But hey, thanks to them, I found a forum to write about the never ending battle that wages in my head, and whoever their bookie was, was able to pay his way through school. That's what we like to call a "win-lose-win" situation, with yours truly being one of the winners...

So next week, I'm taking it back to the roots. Next week, I'll be answering your questions...

I'll be returning sometime on Monday or Tuesday with a mailbag full of questions that address the latest happenings in the world of sports and pop culture. While the lack of comments my posts receive lead readers to believe that nobody is ever reading, I have precious Intraweb tools that are telling me otherwise. So, since people seem unwilling to pose questions to me in the virtual world, I'm taking it to the streets, and answering the very questions I get asked by friends and colleagues alike, multiple times a day. Maybe it didn't work with football picks back in my college days, but I figure it will have a littler more success this time around...




If you have a question you want answered, feel free to pass it on over the weekend, and I'll give a good think on whether or not to add it to my list. So far, topics include the aforementioned Manny and Phil, along with thoughts on...

*Dice K, Papi and the Sox
*NBA transactions
*LeShaq O'James and the best commercials ever
*Frosco: Life on Death Row
*the World Series of Poker
*Joe Buck's new show
*"That's What We Say"
*soccer & the US of A
*the saga that is my fantasy baseball team
*possible review of Public Enemies (if it rains all weekend, I bet I see it. At this rate, I like my chances)


Oh, and I'll also touch on whether or not Donte Stallworth actually ran down Ed McMahon in a lime green Bentley...





















That's right, kids. It's gonna be a regular 'ole 1st and Ten just like they have on ESPN's Cold Take. Except you won't be able to hear Dan Jacobsen's thighs rubbing together in the background, and you won't be seeing Skip Bayless squinting his eyes, wearing a blazer, and possibly chugging....is that Purel? Yeah. It's gonna be nothing like that at all, actually. Matter of fact, I'm fairly confident that not only will there NOT be any sanitizer chugging or chicks built like NFL linebackers, but there will actually be more than 10 questions...

(side note: are they ever going to pair him with a white person again? I don't watch much anymore, but Jemele Hill, the live Stu's, Scoop Jackson, that other black dude whose name I can't remember? Guess I should just be glad they aren't Woody Paige.)


So make sure you stop by, as I'm sure it's going to be a riotous good time for the whole family. Except kids and old people. They can't drive, they can't properly check themselves out at the grocery store, and to be completely honest, they're just a little slow on the uptick. Simply pit, they need not apply. Please. Only males aged 16-65, and females ages 18-28...

Except my mom and my sister. They can read because they love me. The rest of you will need to submit pictures first, and sports credentials that don't include a picture of you at a DuckBoat parade...

So again, if you have a question, feel free to submit. Either by email @ bferruccio@gmail.com, or even on Twitter where my username is RoochNation (my tweets are also streaming @ http://www.roochnation.com/) OR, as has been the case since I've started this thing, feel free to stop me on the street and bombard with with questions that I've already told you I will address...

Hey, it's what I do, and it's what I love...

Well that, and Reese's peanut butter...

...and that new Cherry Dr Pepper...

...and delicious Nathan's hot dogs...


Have a great weekend, kids...

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