Monday, April 13, 2009

Very Interesting...?

A wise man once said "May you live in interesting times". Rather vague, if you ask me, but also rather appropriate for what's gone down over the past 72 hours or so. After all, in life, as in sports, beauty, or in this case "interest", is most certainly in the eye of the beholder. What have I found interesting? Why it's funny you should ask...

Here's a quick rundown. Enjoy...

Let's start with the Masters. What most people are Monday Morning QB'ing as a choke job by Kenny Perry and a "nice" win for Argentina's butt huffing version of Rocco Mediate, I'm viewing as an epic opportunity lost. With that fat Ted, Phil Mickelson charging out of the gate, and Tiger mounting a rally of his own at the turn, it looked as if those two could blow past all the Joe Country Club's ahead of them, and finish in their own playoff, more than an hour before the leaders hit the 18th green. They had a chance to go really low, but the heat on, and they didn't deliver. They had a chance to go shot for shot down the stretch for the green jacket, but instead got swallowed up in Amen Corner, and go quietly into the soft, slave-owning Georgia night.

You say Kenny Perry choked and Angel Cabrera got a much deserved win, I say we missed out on what could have been a battle for the ages. The showdown we've all been waiting for. It truly would have made this year's Masters, a tradition unlike any other...

P.S. - If you're gonna feel bad for anyone or anything in this whole mess, feel bad for the gum in Angel Cabrera's mouth. Apparently someone told him that his epic chain smoking display during the US Open didn't go over too well with the viewing public. He was goin' at that gum so hard I half expected to see his caddy open the bad, and like 5 pouches of Big League Chew to fall out. I'll be the first to admit that smoking isn't a good example to set for the kiddies out there, but something has to be said for having character and letting people be themselves as well. And hey, maybe they don't allow smoking at Augusta. I mean, they've been known to throw people out for less. Like say, I don't know. The color of their skin or their religion? Somebody just give that man a butt already before jitters his way out of the green jacket with some sort of Muhammad Ali scorecard signing disaster...

"So we understand the rules then. No Jews, and No blacks!" - Angus Griffin, creator of golf and ancestor to Petter Griffin. I personally don't see the resemblance...

P.P.S - Phil Mickelson is a fat bastard that needs to buy some shirts that fit him properly. Phil, we get it, you lost some weight. But just because you've lost 20 pounds doesn't mean you can wear the shirts that you bought for when you've lost 50 pounds! So take off the man girdle, throw on a loose polo, and stop showing the Western world that you have nipples comparable to dancer at the Crazy Horse. Get off my TV, and get back to dry humping the cardboard cutout you have of Jared from Subway. You fat Ted...

Now onto the Sox, who themselves provided a tense moment that can be reasonably looked at from both sides of the coin. I'm talking of course about what's rapidly being coined the Beckett/Abreu incident. Josh Beckett was getting ready to throw, Abreu was granted a time out late in the process, and when Beckett released, the ball sailed eerily close to Abreu's head. Benches cleared, Mike Scioscia And Torii Hunter went nuts, Beckett didn't seem to care at all, and after order was finally restored, everyone was left asking one question. What was Josh Beckett's intent?..

My take is that he didn't throw at Abreu, but he wasn't unhappy with where the ball ended up. No pitcher likes it when a batter calls a late timeout, but at the same time, it's very difficult for a pitcher to adjust mid windup as to where he's gonna throw the ball. I think Beckett was looking to throw it away completely as to not strain his arm, and it didn't go as high as he would have liked. Again, I think he was pleasantly surprised with the result, but the intent wasn't there. Like umpire Joe West said after the game, the situation didn't require Beckett to be tossed or warned, because not only was intent not evident, it just didn't make sense. Sure Beckett was probably pissed that Abreu called a late time, but does throwing at his head in the early innings and risking ejection really make sense there? Nah, no way. Maybe in September or October, but not on the 12th of April...

As for Boston's actual play on the field, I'll have more on that, along with my *uncompromised World Series and award predictions next wek, I promise...

*made my picks a week before the season even started, so don't think I'm gonna be swayed by some early results...

Speaking of early returns in baseball, my fantasy baseball team stumbled out the gate this week to the tune of 2-14-0. But never fear, friends, for I feel the news is good. While the scoreboard, the only thing that counts mind you, looks rather dreadful, the actual statistical results do not. Without my 1st 3 offensive draft picks (Ichiro, BJ Upton, Geovony Soto) sidelined due to minor injuries, I still managed to stay close in every offensive category. That's gotta be a good sign, right? And I already feel, even without those guys, that I've managed to favorably work the waiver wire in the early going and may have obtained a few steals in the likes of Jack Cust, John Baker, and Freddy Sanchez. Combine them with the 3 named above and draft steals Joey Votto, Ryan Ludwick and Travis Hafner, and I think I could have quite the formidable offense when all is said and done...

My pitching? Not so hot, but everyone knows that pitchers take longer to get in their groove. And seeing as I have aces coming out by backside (Halladay, Lee, Volquez, Santana), I think I'll be alright. I'll need some more speed on the bases and some help in the bully if I'm going to make a serious run, but other than that it was about the best 2-14 start I could have asked for. So stay tuned for my updates all summer long. It should be a great ride, and naturally I know you're all very intrigued, especially as to why I have that picture above this section about fantasy baseball...
Then again, I heard somewhere that beauty is actually in the eye of the beholder, and not necessarily in the eye of the nerd that decided to put his point of view on the Intraweb for all to see...

Another interesting event took place this weekend when Boston University pulled their goalie with more than 3 minutes to go down 3-1 in the title game, and were actually able to pull out the win in overtime against Miami of Ohio. Interesting if you like hockey, which I don't. If you do, read about the finish here...

Then go seek help, because you're an embarrassment to sports fans everywhere and more than likely your parents aren't that fond of you either...

Hockey sucks, and I hope the Bruins lose in 4 games in the first round. There, I said it...

And finally, the last bit of interesting news to come forth this week is that the station I work for, 790 AM in Providence, is going through yet another format change. This time to a talk format focused on financial and business news. I know we all loved the Oldies music, but I for one feel this change is for the better. It will have me working more, which is always a good thing. And we will actually be putting out a product that is entertaining and can help people out in these tough financial times. More money for me, better radio for you. Everybody wins!..

What's even more, is that you'll be able to hear my skills on full display on daily basis as I will be producing a live show called "Making Money", every weekday starting at 530 and leading up until New York Yankee Baseball. Only time will tell if yours truly will be involved in the occasional or possibly frequent back and forths with the hosts, but that my friends is why you're gonna have to tune in. I'm really looking forward to this opportunity, and it should be an adventure and a great learning experience at the very least...

So I know I came up a bit short this week, but with all the goings on at work with the launch of the new station, I hope you all understand. Ahhhh, of course you do...

And fear not. Just because I will be working more doesn't mean I'll turn a blind eye to you, my doting and adoring group of loyal readers. I know you love me. I know you need me. And you know that I know that I need you too. Yeah, something like that...

So continue to keep an eye out for me, and keep your ears open as well when your in or around Providence, or just searching for some mindless ish to do the the Internet. I'm building an empire, one building block at a time, and every emperor needs followers to believe his BS and do his dirty work. You are my people, and I'd be nowhere without you. And that's something that the eye of this beholder can find a lot of beauty in...

Stay fresh, and keep an eye out for those short shorts and halter tops. We're just a few notches on the thermometer away!..

And keep an eye out for Chelsea Handler too. She's still a fat, humorless skank that's getting paid millions of dollars that should be going to me. What? I don't have an axe to grind...

I'm out...



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