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Monday, March 09, 2009

College Hoops Top 25 (3/9): Come Hither, Hoops Fans...


I can feel it, can you?

It's a mix between the feeling you got right before Christmas when you were a little kid, and the feeling you get now when it's 3 AM, your 8 beers deep, and that cutie in the corner just went upstairs while giving you that "come hither" finger waggle...

It's the NCAA Tournament, boys and girls, and with Championship week already in full swing, it can't be all that far away. Matter of fact, in just 10 days from today we'll already have seen the first 2 sessions of games played out, and as many as 8 teams could already have bid a swift farewell to their '09 title hopes. Granted most teams don't actually have realistic title aspirations, but that's why you've come here. To figure out who's actually in it to win it, and who's just there taking up space on the dance floor like that creepy 45 year old at the local college dive bar. Sure you could call the cops on his jail bait huntin' ass, but you're better off letting him buy all the girls drinks before he limps home all alone...

That, my friends, is when you get the "come hither" finger waggle. And from there, you'd have to be a complete tard not to be able to close the deal...

No tards here, though as I unveil the final Rooch Nation Top 25 for the 2008-2009 season. Next time we speak, we'll be talkin' tourney...

Get some, kids...

Rooch Nation College Hoops Top 25



1. North Carolina (27-3) 1

As is often the case, I was one week ahead of the pollsters when I made the Heels my team to beat in last week's rankings. Needless to say, 2 wins later, and I still have them at the top. I know, I'm shocked at how logical that sounds too...


2. Pittsburgh (28-3) 2

Much like the Arizona St./UCLA match up discussed here last week, don't take too much credence in the fact that Pitt swept the season series with the UCON Huskies. It's just a bad match up for UCONN, and there is little to no chance the two will ever meet in the NCAA Tournament...

If they do meet, I'll most likely take Pittsburgh. As for UCONN, I still like their chances against anyone not named Pitt, UNC, or...


3. Michigan St. (25-5) 4

Winners of 5 straight and 8 of their last nine, Tom Izzo's Spartans are already a lock in my mind to be the chic pick by the analysts to take down the '09 title...

They have all the makings. They weren't in the ACC or the Big East. They're on fire. They have a ton of great guards. And most of all, they have Tom Izzo. He's the only coach I know where people will pick his team simply because he's the guy on the bench. Not Pitino, not Calhoun, not Boeheim, and not Calipari. Peeps love Izzo. And while it's a deserved admiration, it just makes it even easier for me to predict the fact that MSU will end up in a lot of the "experts" Final Four's....

Will they make mine? Well you'll just to have to check back next week and see....

That my friends, is what we call a tease. Kinda like if that "come hither" waggle turned into a case of blue balls. Expect this one won't hurt any area of your groin...

4. UCONN (27-3) 3

5. Louisville (25-5) 7


6. UCLA (24-7) 6

I don't care what the standings say. With Ben Howland on the bench and Darren Collison still runnin' the show, I'll take my chances with the Bruins long before I'd put my money on the Washington Huskies...

7. Oklahoma (27-4) 5

8. Washington (24-7) 10

...but I'd still bet on the Huskies. Washington OR UCONN...


9. Memphis (28-3) 9

They may be a tad overrated nationally, but Cal's Pal's, as I have dubbed them, still can lay claim to being the best team outside of a major BCS conference. And it's not that they aren't good in comparison to the boys in the big conferences, it's just that a season's worth of weak opponents always has me a little concerned...

Then again, they played the same lousy Conference USA teams a year ago, and that didn't seem to hurt them much now did it?

10. Duke (25-6) 8

11. Villanova (25-6) 11

12. Kansas (25-6) 12

13. Gonzaga (25-5) 16

14. Wake Forest (24-5) 19

After going 3-3 during a stretch in January, Wake Forest is back to playing like the team they appeared to be when they started the season 16-0...

Much of the reason for their improved play during their recent 4 game winning streak has been the improved play of sophomore forward, James Johnson. He's tallied 21 or more 4 times over the last 6 games, during which time he's averaged more than 19 points, 5 more than his season average...

With Johnson clicking, and Teague and Aminu being their normal "uber aggressive" selves, playing Wake in the tournament should be alot like inviting the Tazmanian Devil to a sex to party. If you're not careful, you're gonna get screwed from every angle imaginable...

15. Louisiana State University (25-6) 13

16. Illinois (23-8) 17

17. Purdue (22-9) 15

18. Arizona St. (22-8) 14

19. Syracuse (23-8) 24

Call me out as a fanboy if you want, but the fact is the Orange are shooting well. Sure they still can't play any defense, but when you have the talented scorers that they have, in a one and done format, defense might not even matter...

...at least for a round or two...

20. Butler (26-4) 20

21. St. Mary's (25-5) NR

I might be jumpin' the gun here, but the return of Patty Mills has me diggin' the Gaels. Not sure what a "Gael" is exactly, but any team that gets their leading scorer back right before the post season begins, is A-OK with me...

Now the only question is whether or not they can gel in time to take advantage...

22. Xavier (24-6) 18

23. Florida St. (23-8) NR

My main man Kevin "Frosco" Tomasso is actually in his old stomping grounds of Tallahassee this week, so I'll use that as a little Seminole karma. Welcome to the top 25, Florida St. May your stay be as long as the white T's you wear, and your run be as entertaining as the latest Lil Wayne collaboration...that you can undoubtedly purchase from a nearby car trunk...and may or may not have a local DJ screaming in the background of every track...

On the other hand, with this whole cheating scandal going on at FSU, it does concern me that these kids might actually have to study in the coming weeks and that it could distract them from their ultimate goal...

Hahahaha...Yeah, and Bobby Bowden is a young man with absolutely no problems passing viable stool that doesn't end up on the inside lining of his reusable adult diapers...

Gross/appropriate comparison to drive home my sarcasm. What can I say, explicitly is my thing. Especially when it comes to old people, crazy old people, anything to do with meth and of course, the Williams Brothers...

24. Clemson (23-7) NR

25. Tennessee (19-11) 23


just missed: West Virginia, Utah, Michigan, Northern Iowa, Wisconsin, California, Davidson, Missouri, Texas A&M

dropped: (21) Davidson; (25) Creighton


Dancing Shoes?...Check!






These guys have already earned their automatic tourney bid by winning their conference tournament, and actually have a shot at winning a game or two. The champs may come from the bigger conferences, but we all know Cinderella likes herself a small school guy, preferably with a wacky nickname. So does the slipper fit for any of this years early entrants?

Survey says!?.....

Northern Iowa (Missouri Valley Conference)

Always gotta love the Val come tourney time. And while Creighton was the beast of the conference all season long, Northern Iowa shouldn't disappoint as the possible lone representative in the field of 65. They've won 5 straight, rebound well, and play a complete team game that could very easily frustrate any opponent...

Morehead State (Ohio Valley Conference)

Not exactly a power, MSU beat two of the top 3 seeds in the Ohio Valley tourney on their way to earning their automatic bid. That means they are playing well against teams that know their style, which means a team not familiar with their game might be in for a dog fight as well...

Hey, when you're hot, you're hot. Right?

Cornell (Ivy League)

We did this already, didn't we? Wicked smahhht kids that need to hit their 3's to have a shot...


This team, not so much...

Radford (Big South)

The Big South is awful, and I refuse to believe any team from that conference has even the remotest chance of winning a game. Simply put, if it ain't Winthrop, I ain't buyin' it...



There you have it, boys and girls. The next time we speak, the bracket will be out, and I'll be ready to make the bracket my bitch. I'm gonna give that thing a come hither look that would have Hugh Hefner tripping over himself to get at his Viagra...

It's an orgasm waiting to happen, and the man with the magic touch, is Gus Johnson...

See you next week, pimps, and be on the lookout for a Tourney pool invite. It's coming to an email inbox near you, and you don't wanna miss it...

100...

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