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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gobble, Gobble...



Well Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. I hope the first of the holiday season's finds you all in both good health and good spirits. And I hope the slate of games scheduled to come your way while you're tossin' back delicious eats will be equally entertaining, as they are profitable...


Again, Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope to see you all real soon. Just make sure you don't skimp on the dark meat. After all. Dark meat needs love too...


Thanksgiving Picks

Tennessee Titans (-11) @ Detroit Lions

Lions going for their 12th loss, and the Titans need a 12 point win to cover....

Man I love it when karma's on my side. And seeing as it's never on Detroit's side, I like my chances even more...




Dallas Cowboys (-13) vs Seattle Seahawks

These Boys, are certainly back in town. And a big game for Tony Romo and he'll be getting a leg from John Madden, and a much needed side of stuffing from Jessica Simpson. God I hope she likes sazeech!...


Philadelphia Eagles vs Arizona Cardinals OVER 47

The way I see it, there's two schools of thought here...

ONE, is that after McNabb's tearful benching at halftime in week 12, and his post game "tie" slip up, the Eagles have lost their identity, and therefore any sort of motivation to finish out the season. At 5-5-1, and in the NFC East cellar, they needed a QB and coaching controversy about as much Bill Gates needs a co-signer...

Therefore, Philly would come out in the Thanksgiving nightcap, get blown out, and the "passionate as they are idiotic" Philadelphia fan base would have cart blanche to tear that franchise apart, limb by ever feathery limb...


The second school of thought, and the one I'm choosing to ride with in this one, is that this game could serve as a final shot across the bow for both Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb. With both of their jobs soon headed to a Monster and Craig's List near you, D-Mac and Big Red are gonna empty the tank in this national TV match up against a playoff bound contender, and give fans all over the NFL Nation reason to pause, and take stock in how good this Philly team might actually be. I'm not saying they'll pull it out, but they'll certainly come out firing...


Last Week:
11-4-1

Overall:
102-67-5 (.601)

Top Picks: 53-32-3 (.619)


That's it kids. Now get out and enjoy the holiday, before I have to stick Eric Devendorf on your ass...

Gobble, Gobble...

Monday, November 24, 2008

2008 NCAA Men's Basketball Pre Season All Americans

2008 NCAA Men's Basketball Pre Season All Americans

1st Team
F Tyler Hansbrough North Carolina

F Patrick Patterson Kentucky

F Blake Griffin Oklahoma

G Stephon Curry Davidson

G James Harden Arizona St.

Player of the Year: F Blake Griffin Oklahoma


2nd Team
F Luke Harangody Notre Dame

F Damion James Texas

F Demar Derozan USC

G Ty Lawson UNC

G Jonny Flynn Syracuse


3rd Team
F Robbie Hummel Purdue

G Darren Collison UCLA

F Josh Hyvfeldt Gonzaga

F DaJuan Blair Pittsburgh

G Dominic James Marquette

Friday, November 21, 2008

NFL Week 12 Picks

So I got to reflecting this week, which can sometime be a bad thing, and I realized it's been a few weeks since I laid any non-football knowledge on ya. Well fear not, my friends. Before I get to this week's picks, here are a few tidbits from the sports world that have kept my brain churnin over the last 2 weeks...

Enjoy, and don't worry. I still picked the games, I'm still sick at doing it, and after last week's brilliance, you'd be a fool at this point to even consider betting against me. At least that's this one man's opinion...

Read on...



*Dustin Pedroia was named 2008 MVP this week, but as usual, the announcement didn't come without controversy...


First, there was Dallas Morning News and Texas Rangers beat writer, Evan Grant (that's him below with Don King...ha!), who didn't even put Pedroia on his ballot. A ballot, mind you, that requires the voter to select their top 10 choices. Naturally, people in the media, especially in Boston, wanted to talk to Grant, and at the very least, get a handle on his train of thought. So Grant came on WEEI's "Big Show", attempted to explain himself, but came off more as a disgruntled old coot who had better things to do than worry about who he was gonna vote for. OK, so he's just an idiot. Not like that's news from a group that gave Rafael Palmeriod a Gold Glove after a season where he was primarily a designated hitter, but still it's always disenchanting to hear it...


And it gets better. After Grant and his thought process were ripped to shreds by Glen Ordway and his cast of merry men, a little research discovered that not only was the guy a huge Ted, but that he was defending an argument that even he didn't believe. Low and behold, Grant's column from September 20th was dug up, a column in which he laid out one by one, his top 10 choices for American League MVP. #1? Kevin Youkilis, who Grant had #1 on the actual ballot he submitted. But #4? Why it was none other than Dustin Pedroia! And over the next two weeks, from September 20th to when his ballot was due, all Dustin did was bat .455 with a homerun and 9 RBI. Translation? Grant flat out forgot about Pedroia when filling out his final ballot, and is now scrambling to find legit reasons as to why the winner, and recipient of 16 1st place votes, went from 4th, to at least 11th on his ballot, in a span of less than 15 days.


The other school of thought about Petey's MVP comes from respective ESPN baseball man, Rob Neyer...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=3710934&name=Neyer_Rob


Cliff Notes: Chase Utley was just as good if not better than Pedroia, and he finished 14th in the NL MVP race. / Pedroia got a lot of pub and hype because he's so damn small...


My take? I would have voted for Youk based on his versatility, but I would have had Dustin #2 over both Mauer and Morneau. In my eyes, seeing as the Rays were so balanced, the MVP had to come from the Red Sox. And while I would have voted for Youk, I think either he or Pedroia were more than deserving. Did Petey get some extra votes because he's small and scrappy? Yeah, probably. But since when is that unfair? Correct me if I'm wrong, but guys like Griffey and A-Rod always got votes because of their freak athleticism, right? And last time I checked, being a freak athlete is no more an advantage to being a baseball player than it is being a tiny bastard with a big heart, and an even bigger swing...

Got work, Dustin. You deserve it, and it always feels good when an award this prestigious makes its way back to Red Sox Nation...


*Mike Mussina is calling it quits according to ESPN.com, and you can be 100% sure that a few years down the road he will NOT be entering the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY. At 39, he tallied just 1 20-win season in his 18 years as a pro (this year), didn't win a single World Series (not 100% his fault, but still) and will be viewed by many Yankee and baseball fans alike as a guy who failed to deliver on his promise after signing a huge free agent contract in the Winter of 2000. Simply put, the Moose was good, just not good enough to get into the Hall. He'll be remembered as a guy that just missed, but even his good nature and consummate professionalism won't be enough to overcome his lack of eye popping stats, and big game performances...


*I heard on the radio the other day that the Bruins are in 1st place, and really looking every bit as good as their early results would indicate. Well after perusing the Pac 10 basketball standings, it turns out they were correct (that is until Michigan beat 'em). Little early for it to matter if you ask me, but I'm just happy that these rabid fans on the East Coast are finally starting to give college hoops it's due. Good for you, you frauds...


*Of that same ilk, a friend of mine made a case the other day that Paul Pierce was the early front runner for the '08-'09 NBA MVP award. Right. And the Patriots were the front runners to win last year's Super Bowl. You're point??...

The Truth is the man, don't get me wrong, but it's when people bump their gums about that, and then in the next breathe complain about pre-season college rankings that makes me wonder how on Earth some people even manage to make it out of bed in the morning without stepping in the shit they ooze from every single orifice...

Oh, and if you really wanna talk NBA, then talk about this. Talk about bangin' it from way downtown!...

*Golfer JP Hayes took his own PGA Tour card away this week after turning himself in for using a non-sanctioned ball on just ONE shot during his qualifying round in PGA Tour Cue School. Now I get that golf and those that play it hold themselves in high regard as the only sport where the players police themselves, but come on, man. Hayes had already penalized himself 2 strokes for using the wrong bean (some sort of Titleist prototype). Why did he have to call up the PGA 2 days later and straight DQ himself? Truly puzzling...

Oh, and if this is just an attempt by Hayes to get himself some free publicity as golf's "good guy", then that's truly pathetic....


*The Boston Red Sox clubhouse is now a Coke Free zone after they traded Mr. Crisp to the Royals this week for some bullpen help. The trade makes sense, and helps sure up a weakness from a year ago, but more importantly signals that Theo and the Trio are ready to start makin' moves, and takin' names. Here are some potential moves to keep an eye out for in the upcoming weeks as the Hot Stove really heats up...

-Salary Swap: Word is Dontrelle Willis and his huge contract could be headed to Boston in exchange for Julio Lugo and his big contract. A crappy left handed pitcher for a crappy short stop? Yeah, that's a deal I make 7 days a week, and twice on Friday. What? Sunday is for football. I don't have time to be making that move twice that day...

-I'm still under the impression that the Sox are just driving up the price for the Yankees on starting pitcher, AJ Burnett. His health, the money he wants, and his track record of streakiness just don't seem to fit the M.O. of Epstein and the Sox front office. Then again, they did take on JD Drew, who by the way is now the highest paid player on the team. What a country...

That's not to say, mind you, that the Sox aren't looking for top end pitching. I know their rotation seems set, but they've been careful in years past to make sure they've had more pitching than they've needed, and I expect that trend to continue not only this season, but as long as this current 4some is running things...

You want more news on the Sox, just check out the Extra Bases blog right here...

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/

As long as you can get past the fact that you know Maz, Cafardo and Kilgore are all trying to remove Amelie Benjamin's sweater with their eyes, then I think you'll enjoy the breaking news and insight that the folks at the Globe have to offer. Hot damn. Just somethin' about a girl in glasses that loves baseball. Gets me all hot and bothered....Now get in the clubhouse and make me some Big League Chew would ya? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh....


*Some things I've been slacking on of late include my College Hoops coverage, and keeping you all updated on my fantasy football progress....

Well my fantasy team is 8-3, 1st in the standings, and poised to take the regular season title and make another run at the Super Bowl. Only problem, is that this week I play one of my good friends. Not only does he sit at 7-4, with a chance himself to move into 1st, but he's that classic fantasy guy that has no freakin' idea what's goin on. Doesn't stop him from winning year after year, but it gets to the point where if the person you're losing to doesn't even know what they're doing, then what's the point? As I said on my league message board, it's like playing Memory against an Alzheimer's patient. But then again, my boy doesn't even know where the message board is...

As for college hoops? My top 10 will be back next week, and I'll even start giving you the heads up again on big games to watch for each and every week. Remember. College hoops is my specialty. And if you think I got shit on lock now with football, then you're gonna think I'm Nostra-freaking-damus when it comes to breaking down the boys on the collegiate hardwood...


*And one last thing. I saw Dana Jacobson wearing a red skirt, and kneeling next to Magic Johnson, and two names quickly came to mind. Monica Lewinsky, and Sal Fasano. Now there's a girl that was picked last in pickup football games for all the right reasons...

OK, enough is enough. It's football season after all. And after last week's brilliance, I can't blame you if you're foaming at the mouth to get this week's latest gems...

Ahhhhhhhhh.....

Week 12 Picks
New England Patriots (+2) @ Miami Dolphins

92.9

Yes, it's a fine Boston area radio station, but it's also a number that should scare the living tar out of any Patriots fan that has hopes of their squad making the playoffs...

Last year that exact # represented Tom Brady's QB rating, the 4th best of all time. This year? Why it's the QB rating, overall, of all the quarterbacks that have lined up against the Patriots D...

Bad news for my home team, for sure. But if you think I'm picking against them in a crucial division game like this, you got another thing comin'. You gotta think Belichick's got the Wildcat figured out this time around. And while the Pats D has been struggling and is missing a few key pieces, the Dolphin offense isn't exactly the juggernaut that it appeared to be a few weeks back either...

Besides. I got some buddies goin' down to Miami this week for the game. So we got that goin' for us, which is always a good thing...

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-8.5) @ Detroit Lions

Starting Jeff Garcia over Brett Favre last week nearly cost me a fantasy victory, but this week the 23rd ranked Lion pass defense should help put my mind at ease...

The Lions and the auto industry. Both in the shitter, and both from Detroit. Coincidence? I think not. Just remind me not to take any stock tips from the Ford family...

New York Jets (+5.5) @ Tennessee Titans

I was tempted to take the under in this game, but the more I thought about it, the more I like the J-E-T-S, Bretts, Bretts, Bretts...

New York played last Thursday, giving them 3 extra days of rest and preparation. Not to mention the fact that in a strength vs strength match up, the Jets have more of the auxiliary pieces to finally topple the league's last unbeaten. The Titans love to set the tone by running the ball, and the Jet resurgence this year can be directly attributed to Kris Jenkins and the d-line's ability to stop the run and force teams to pass...

It may sound like a broken record, but if all goes to plan, we should find out once and for all this week if Kerry Collins is going to be the QB that can lead the Titans to a Super Bowl, or if he's the one aspect of their attack that's holding them back...

Philadelphia Eagles (+1.5) @ Baltimore Ravens

First and foremost, last week's tie is exactly the reason I don't trust Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb further than I can projectile vomit a disgusting Philly cheese steak. I mean, really. Philly is the only place I know that's not a trailer park, a homeless shelter or a frat house where "Cheez Whiz" is considered the secret ingredient that makes a particular meal oh so great...

But I digress. The saying "it's better to keep your moth shut and let people think you're an idiot, than open your mouth and remove all doubt", could not be more appropriate when describing D-Mac's comments following the Eagles' tie against the Bengals. OK, so he didn't know the rules. Not exactly reassuring, but I guess somewhat understandable. But then to say not once, but twice, that not only did you now know, but that you don't think it's a big deal?...

That's how people get run out of town, my friend. And seeing as this isn't the first incident, don't be surprised if this is the off season where the other shoe finally drops...

Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5) vs Buffalo Bills

The Chiefs don't suck anymore, no thanks to Herm Edwards. And the Bills are coming off a tough loss at home on Monday night. Pretty simple math on this one...

New York Giants (-3) @ Arizona Cardinals

Good news for the Giants: They're the defending Super Bowl champs, and most pundits think they, not the Titans, are currently the best team in football...

Bad news for the Giants: At this point last year, the team that won the Super Bowl wasn't even an after thought when it came to picking the league's best squad...

Translation: Kurt Warner loves Jesus, but Jesus loves the Giants

Yeah, I'm ill at translating...

Atlanta Falcons (-1) vs Carolina Panthers OVER 42.5

I was just tellin' a friend of mine that I can never predict what goes on in the NFC South. That's why I'm taking the OVER, and hoping that my bad luck within the division is only confined to picking against the spread. Chances are it's not, but here's to hopin'...

Washington Redskins (-3) @ Seattle Seahawks

Apparently now that Matt Hasselbeck is back at the helm, the boys in Vegas see it fit to give Seattle the homefield respect they've had over the past decade. They did play well in a physical game last week against Arizona, but two weeks in a row for this bunch still might be a little too much to ask...

Cleveland Browns (-3) vs Houston Texans

Could Romeo Crennel actually be on his way to saving his job? Ehhhh. Well at least for one more week...

Dallas Cowboys (-10) vs San Fransisco 49ers

Joe Montana is not walking through that door, fans. Joe Montegna, maybe. And maybe Mike Singletary's bare ass. But not Joe Montana...

Look for the Boys offense to be on full display, and for the "experts" to pull all sorts of muscles in the aftermath, jumping right back on the Cowboy bandwagon...

And let it be known right now that I call 5's on the spot nestled tightly between Jessica Simpsons more than ample Rocky Mountains. Hey, if her dad thinks they're great, who am I to argue?...



Minnesota Vikings (+3) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Two teams headed in opposite directions. At least David Garrard has that Crohn's Disease commercial loot to fall back on...


Chicago Bears (-8) @ St. Louis Rams

I'm not sure what happened to the Chicago defense last week in Green Bay, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess that they won't pull a repeat performance this week in the 'Lou...

Besides, even if the Packers did create a "blueprint" to break down the vaunted Chicago D, I doubt the Rams have the ability to decipher that sucker if you spotted them a spotlight and a magnifying glass...

Denver Broncos (-9.5) vs Oakland Raiders

You think anything would give Mike Shanahan more pleasure than kicking Al Davis in his withered prune pouch, while the aging owner struggles through one of the worst seasons in franchise history? I don't...

That and I just wanted to use the term "withered prune pouch" in regards to Al Davis...

Indianapolis Colts (+3) @ San Diego Chargers

I'm still a believer that the Colts are for real, and I'm still not sold on Philly Rivers and the inconsistent Charger offense. San Diego may have their backs up against it at 4-7, but that desperation doesn't make up for talent. This is NOT college, and this is NOT homecoming...

Norv Turner, meet Romeo Crennel...


Monday Night
New Orleans Saints (-2.5) vs Green Bay Packers

Reggie Bush could be making his return, but even if he doesn't, I always have to take the Saints at home on Monday night. All it took was one time for Mikey Vick and the Dirty Birds to screw me, and now I'll never make the same mistake again...


Last Week: 10-4-1

Overall: 91-63-4 (.589)

Top Picks: 42-28-2 (.597)

Just for the record, I gave myself a tie in the Pittsburgh/San Diego game that ended 11-10. Just because the refs had money on the game and decided not to call that last game a touchdown, doesn't mean I'm gonna go ahead and count it as a loss. Cheatin' bastards...


Now on to the slate of college games.

There may not be as many, but what they lack in volume, they more than make up for in importance. The Pac 10, Big XII, Big East and the Big 10 all have big games this weekend with BCS implications, but from where I'm sitting, it looks like the standings will more or less be in tact, even after the madness has come and gone...

I know, I know. You wanted some upsets. But what can I tell ya...

Money is good, and that's what I'm tryin' to make ya. So take these picks, shut your mouth, and only open it again the next time you see me. Ya know, to thank me, and possibly send a few extra pieces of green paper in my direction...


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(2) Texas Tech (+7) @ (5) Oklahoma

(3) Florida (pick) vs Citadel

(7) Penn St. (-14.5) vs (17) Michigan St.

(8) Utah (-5.5) vs (16) BYU

Nevada (+8) vs (9) Boise St.

(10) Ohio St. (-20) vs Michigan

(15) TCU (-18) vs Air Force

(18) LSU (-4) vs Mississippi

(19) Cincinnati (-4.5) vs (20) Pittsburgh

(21) Oregon St. (-2.5) @ Arizona

(22) Maryland (-1) vs Florida St.

NC State (+12) @ (25) North Carolina



Last Week: 14-4-0

Overall: 127-78-6 (.616)


OK, kids, that's all for me...

Tune in next week for my Thanksgiving picks...

Gobble, Gobble...1000

Friday, November 14, 2008

NFL Week 11 Picks


Geez, man...

I'm used to late week nights, but one that ends with a big tease and a kick in the junk isn't exactly my idea of a good time...

I mean, damn. I'm used to watchin' epic comebacks, and classic games. Guess it's just been a while since one of my squads has come out on the losing end...

It was so good, so painful, while at the same time, being oh so simple. The Jets killed the Pats on 3rd down (8 for 11), Dustin Keller was a menace, Matt Cassel made himself a boatload of money in his upcoming free agency, and Brett Favre's performance left me scratching my head, and 2nd guessing my fantasy football roster decisions...


Oh, and I gotta answer this question here, as I'm sure I'll be asked it about 15 times over the next 4 days. NO, I don't think the Pats should have gone for 2 after Moss' miraculous TD grab even though they just scored on 4th and Goal from the 16. I get that the 2 pointer would essentially be a 4th and Goal from the 3, and that you're not guaranteed the ball in overtime, but going for the sure 1 will virtually guarantee that you don't lose. It's not playing not to lose, mind you. It's just making the smart play. And I'd rather take my chances with the smart play, and rely on the strength of my team, than try and convert a play that's only good a little better than 1 out of every 3 attempts...


It was a great game. Sure the Pats made a few mistakes that may have cost them. But rival or no rival, no matter how gay their head fireman of a fan may be, sometime you just have to take your licks, tip your cap and move on to the next game. The Jets have proven they can win in Foxboro, and that they're a force to be reckoned with. But proving that you can win in the playoffs, when all the chips are down? Well, as of right now, you'd still have to file that one under "seeing is believing"...

Anyway, as for the rest of this week, forgive me if I'm blunt, but feel me for the reasons. I'm tired, I'm disheartened, and I see my fantasy football destiny slipping from my ever scheming fingers...

Lucky for you, I've chosen to make up for my lack of time and effort, with a pick and a one-liner for each of this weekend's games. They're quick. They're funny (debatable). And they're guaranteed to pad your wallet.......as long as you hold on to your betting slips...Bam!

Enjoy...


Week 11 Picks
Green Bay Packers (+1) vs Chicago Bears

The Packers are at home, and the Bears are coming off a physical, just miss downer against the undefeated Titans....

Indianapolis Colts (-7) vs Houston Texans

The Colts are back, and the Texans are the Texans. They'll want revenge from their week 6 meltdown, but the Colts are clicking, and should roll them like a Mexican dime bag...

Miami Dolphins (-10) vs Oakland Raiders

I don't think anyone would have believed you if you said this week 11 tilt would have a 10 point spread, but that's the beauty of the NFL now, isn't it? Al Davis and Bill Parcells could not have their struggling franchises headed in more opposite directions, and I expect that to be on full display...

Philadelphia Eagles (-8) @ Cincinnati Bengals

It's gonna snow, so 1 of 2 things will happen.

1) Late in a close game, Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid will start chokin' like they always do, and the Campbell's Soup prodigal son will end up flopping around like a dead fish having a seizure...

OR

2) A blitzing Philly defense, in the snow no less, will make Ryan Fitzpatrick wish he was back at Haahhhhvid throwing down and outs to guys with more degrees than Phoenix, Arizona on the 4th of July...

Seeing as it's the Bungles, and Marvin Lewis is awful coming off the bye, I'll go with #2, and take the Eagles with the points...

Just beware of #1. When McNabb starts ralphin' up that can of Sirloin Burger, the Bengals very well could sneak in and cover...

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) vs Minnesota Vikings

The Viking defense is good, but their a little suspect against the pass. Cadillac Williams is back in the mix for the Bucs, and he should help open some lanes for Jeff Garcia and the Tampa Bay receivers...Oh, and did I mention that my fantasy hopes are virtually pinned to Garcia's metrosexual right arm? Yeah...GO BUCS!...


...and no, I have no idea where I found that picture either. Gooooooo Intraweb!!...

Detroit Lions (+14.5) @ Carolina Panthers

The Panthers had trouble covering the 9 against the Raiders, and as odd as it may sound, the win-less Lions are better than Oakland. Might be a stretch to say they'll cover on the road, but a mistake prone Jake Delhomme should keep this one a little closer than it should be...

San Fransisco 49ers (-5.5) vs St. Louis Rams

St. Louis. Tell me how Mike Singletary's bare ass tastes...

Arizona Cardinals (-3) @ Seattle Seahawks

I've said it before, so I'll say it again. Playing it Seattle just ain't the challenge it used to be...

Pittsburgh Steelers (-4) vs San Diego Chargers

Snow's in the forecast, and one of the teams is from California. Done and done...

Tennessee Titans (-2.5) @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Reverse fantasy logic says the Jaguar defense burns me by lighting Kerry Collins up. Real logic sees a struggling Jacksonville offense get shut down, and a methodical Tennessee offense put up more than enough points to move them to 10-0...

Dallas Cowboys (-1) @ Washington Redskins

Tony Romo is back, so getcha popcorn ready. With all the turmoil surrounding Big D, I expect the healthy Boys to come out chuckin' and never look back. Jerry Jones says they're "absolutely" gonna make the playoffs, and a convincing win here would help give the old coot's statement a little validity...


OVER/UNDERS
I went 2-0 with my over/under picks last week, which means I think I'm on a roll of some kind and will continue picking them until realize I was just getting lucky. Buyer beware...

Denver Broncos @ Atlanta Falcons OVER 50.5

Pass...Pass...Pass...Score...Kickoff...Pass...Pass...Pass...Score...Kickoff...Repeat...

Baltimore Ravens @ New York Giants UNDER 44.5

Run...Run...Incomplete Pass...Punt...You get the picture...

New Orleans Saints @ Kansas City Chiefs OVER 49.5

Reggie Bush...Reggie Bush...Reggie Bush...Loves Kim Kardashian's luscious round ass...and scoring touchdowns...Eh screw it. Even without him, these two should have no trouble covering this number...

Larry Johnson is finally back, and although it will be detrimental to my fantasy team (God, what isn't), I think he makes the emerging KC offense all the more dangerous. Now if only Sperm "should have been swallowed" Edwards actually knew what he was doing, those poor fools in Missouri might have a shot at winning...


And for the record. OVER on 4 feet the distance a quarter would bounce off the USDA approved massive honey glazed ham pictured above...again, dare I say...BAM!...

Monday Night
Cleveland Browns (+5) @ Buffalo Bills

Romeo Crennel spent the last week convincing the press his team hasn't quit. This Monday, Brady Quinn and crew will prove their coach, ain't no fool. They're talented enough to keep it close, but for a team that needs wins, that's gonna serve as very little consolation. Sorry, Romeo. But I see a http://www.romeomustdie.com/ website coming to a Cleveland sports radio station near you. I mean you gotta figure the folks for that DMX movie are done usin' it, right?...


Last Week: 9-4-0 (Top Picks: 3-2-0)

Overall: 81-59-3 (.577)

Top Picks: 32-24-1 (.570)


Here, allow me. "If he's so good at picking games, then why are his "top picks" not nearly as good as the rest of the games he picks?"

Answer: I don't know why that is, and I could NOT care any less. I said at the start of the season that picking all the games could turn out to be a mixed blessing, and as it turns out, I was right on the money. So there....


And here are this week's NCAA picks. I hate to be brief, but I hope you like upsets!

Ahhh, of course you do...


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(1) Alabama (-22) vs Mississippi St.

(3) Florida (-21.5) vs (24) South Carolina

(4) Texas (-13) @ Kansas

Stanford (+24.5) vs (6) USC

Indiana (+36) @ (7) Penn St.

(8) Utah (-30) @ San Diego St.

Idaho (+36.5) vs (9) Boise St.

Illinois (+10) vs (10) Ohio St.

Colorado (+17) vs (11) Oklahoma St.

(12) Missouri (-28) @ Iowa St.

Auburn (+9) vs (13) Georgia

(16) BYU (-5) @ Air Force

Maryland (+3) vs (17) North Carolina

(19) LSU (-18) vs Troy

(20) Florida St. (-6.5) vs Boston College

(22) Cincinnati (-3) @ Louisville

(23) Oregon St. (-3) vs California

(25) Tulsa (-4.5) @ Houston



Last Week: 9-7-1

Overall: 113-74-6 (.601)


So there ya go, kids...


Here's to hoping for all our sakes, that good things come in relatively small packages, and what I might be lacking in insight, I more than make up for with ability to see into the future....


Until next time. It's been real. It's been weird. It's been real weird. I'm out...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Pats-Jets: This Time, It's For Tom...

OK, it's not really for Tom. But it's Pats-Jets, and I'm pumped. So let's get after it, shall we?...



Well thanks to the off season signing of Brett Favre, and the season ending injury to Tom Brady, the Pats and Jets will play in a critical game tonight that will NOT revolve solely around the professional rivalry of Bill "the Hoodie" Belichick and Eric "the Rat" Mangina. Not to say those two won't play an important role, but for the first time in a long game this game is being hyped up more for whats at stake, rather than who's doing the play calling. And that's a good thing...



Matt Cassel made his first start in week 2 against the Jets, coming away with a 19-10 victory. And coming off arguably his best game as a pro last week against the Bills, I have to think he'll be even more poised this time around to lead the Patriots to the much needed season sweep. And that's the key. Poise. Otherwise, how could I consider a game in which he didn't even throw for a score, his best game as a pro? He just finally looked the part of a good NFL QB. Not great. Not Tom Brady. But a QB good enough to lead the rest of this talented team the playoffs, and at least give them a shot of competing for a Super Bowl. No longer is he the guy that's in there "not to screw things up". He's playing with some confidence. He's playing with some skill. And he's playing like a quarterback that won't only give his team a chance to win, but could step up a be a huge reason why they indeed come away with a victory...

So that being said, my take on tonight's game is this...


1) Brett Favre has me in a fantasy quandary. He's been my QB all year, and while not spectacular of late, I had always planned on sticking with him for the long haul. Then, I picked up the Patriots DEFENSE when Jacksonville started giving me headaches. Add into the mix that I have Jericho Cotchery as one of my 3 starting wide receivers, and you can see my problem.

SO, I've decided to keep the Pats D in, to hopefully earn myself a little karma, bench Brett the Jet, keep Cotchery in, and start Jeff Garcia this Sunday at home against the Vikings. Garcia has been good, the Pats D has ben great (both fantasy and real world) and it will protect my from the crater in my gut that will no doubt exist if I have to walk around the next two days knowing that Brett Favre has just put me in a monstrous hole against the #1 team in my league...

2) Even though I said this game isn't about the coaches, doesn't mean that won't play a major role. I like the Patriots chances of exploiting Favre and Mangini on offense, while I think the Jets pressuring Cassel might only lead to the athletic QB picking up crucial yards with his legs. The Jets have been winning games of late with their great pressure up front, but in this game it might not be such a strength. Combine Cassel's mobility with the fact this is best offensive line the Jets have faced all year, and I think what looks like an advantage for New York heading in, could very well end up being the reason for their demise...

3) The return of Ty Law...won't make a single difference at all. Dude's old. Look for the Pats to pick up recently clipped Jet, Justin Miller, though. He was a high draft pick, he knows the Jets/Patriots system well, and he plays in the defensive backfield. Maybe not this year, but keep your eye out...

4) It's gonna be wet. That means peeps are gonna be runnin' the bean. I like the Patriots D-line to stop Thomas Jones, and I like the Patriots O-line to take advantage of suspect Jet LBs and carve out some holes for "Law Firm", AKA Ben Jarvus Green-Ellis. If any back is gonna tare up the Pats, it'll be Leon Washington on a screen pass. Those little Noles can be tough to bring down...

5) It's Troy Brown day @ Gillette. Karma. We got that goin' for us, which is nice.

Troy is the man, and will always be missed, both on the field and in the community. Hey, don't mean to talk about the guy like he's dead. But facts is facts. Thanks a mil, TB. And I hope this is only the beginning to a great new chapter in both your life, and your career...


OK, so maybe that wasn't so much my "take" on the game as it was a list of things I think may or may factor into it, but that's what happen when you just let your brain flow...

I like the Pats to win this one, and even though I think it'll be close, I have to also give the Jets the 1.5 points. Weather and defense should play a role in help keeping the score down, so I'll ultimately take the Patriots to come out on top 23-19, with Favre throwing a pick in the endzone on a last minute 2 point conversion attempt. It'll be a Pats victory, a spot atop the AFC East, and sweet sweet vindication for me not starting Big Bad Brett in this week's fantasy showdown...

And remember, last week I picked the Pats over the Bills by 10, and the Pats beat the Bills....by 10...

Keep that in mind before you dismiss me as an arrogant loudmouth with no idea what he's talking about. Cuz then, you'd only be 2 outta 3...

Go Pats. Go me. And I'll catch you call in the very near future for the rest of my clairvoyant like, week 11 picks...

I'm out like Flynt...

Friday, November 07, 2008

NFL Week 10 Picks - Angry Republicans BEWARE


Well, it looks like Kevin Garnett was right after all...

"ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There's a black man in the White House (and the Secret Service hasn't shot him yet), we got decriminalised weed in Massachusetts, and Manny Ramirez is about to cash in for the 2nd time in his career, on the second most lucrative contract that Major League Baseball has ever seen...


Looks like the only thing that wasn't possible, was for me to keep my promise and actually deliver on this week's Tuesday post...

Well never fear, fine citizens. What I lack in honesty and dependability, I'll more than make up for with my ability to make you some money...


Week 10 Picks

New England Patriots (-3.5) vs Buffalo Bills

Sing it with me now...

Dick Jauron, has got it goin' on...

Dick Jauron, has got it goin' on...

(chorus)
Bills fans can't you see? We don't have Mc-Ga-hee,
I know Jim Kelly's gone, but I'm in love with Dick Jauron...


Ahhhh, good times.


But seriously, the Bills are just too dinged up on both sides of the ball for me to pick them in this one. They're missing Donte Witner on defense, Josh Reed on offense, and neither the offensive or defensive line is playing with nearly the effectiveness as they were just a few weeks back...

Look for the Patriots to shut down the Marshawn Lynch and the running attack like they did against Indy, and force a suspect Trent Edwards into making some passes he'd rather not make, to a bunch of guys he'd rather not be throwing too...

I'm not saying blowout, by any means. But what I am looking at, is like a 27-17 game that wasn't nearly as close as the score might indicate...



Carolina Panthers (-9) @ Oakland Raiders

One of the NFL's hottest teams, against a team currently trying to rid itself, mid season, of high paid veteran players. You do the math...



New York Giants (+3) @ Philadelphia Eagles

The Giants are 10-1 in their last 11 regular season home games dating back to last year, and they're getting points?

Well I know a good trend when I see one, and in this game, I'm sticking with the G-Men. No leftover Super Bowl resentment here, kids. It's all about makin' that sweet, sweet cake...


Pittsburgh Steelers (pick) vs Indianapolis Colts

And keeping with the "disrespect" theme, the boys down in Vegas aren't giving much love to the Indianapolis Colts, either. Just one week after pulling out a quality victory against the Pats, going up against the Pittsburgh team without Ben Roethlisberger, and the Colts aren't even being a single point this Sunday when they roll into the Steel City...

Might look strange, but I say for good reason. Let's face it. The Colts still aren't the Colts of years past, and the Steelers still make their name by dominating both sides of the line of scrimmage...


Minnesota Vikings (-2) vs Green Bay Packers

I've been high on the Packers for most of the year, but I don't like their chances this week when they visit division rival Minnesota...

For one, the Packers are coming off a hard fought loss to the undefeated Titan that's no doubt left them battered and bruised on multiple fronts. I treat it like coming off a Monday Night. I don't like teams coming off the short week, and I don't like teams that just got cranked in the mouth to turn around and win another physical game...

The recipe should be a lot of Adrian Peterson, and just enough of Gus Frerotte to keep the Packers on their toes. He's coming off his best game of the year against Houston (11-18, 182 yards, 3 TD/1 INT), and a similar performance should be just what the Dr. ordered. They limit his plays, therefore limiting his chances for mistakes, and also making each pass play that much more unexpected...


And here are the rest of my picks for the week. As usual I had a tough time making my "top" picks, so there are plenty of bet-worthy gems left over for you to take your pick. And if you really want to impress your friends, take the Kansas Shitty Chiefs and the nearly 16 points they are getting against the Chargers. Maybe San Diego suddenly reverted to the team of years past and I missed it, but I'm sorry, I just don't see them kicking anybodies ass these days. Especially anybody in the division...


Tennessee Titans (-3) @ Chicago Bears

Miami Dolphins (-8) vs Seattle Seahawks

New York Jets (-8) vs St. Louis Rams

Baltimore Ravens (-1) @ Houston Texans

Kansas City Chiefs (+15.5) @ San Diego Chargers

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Detroit Lions OVER 44

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons OVER 46


And just a quick explanation on these over/unders I'm taking this week. I figure I rarely ever pick them, so you deserve a little insight into my reasoning...



With the Jags and Lions, I figure both teams are playing so bad, that both their offenses and their defenses will probably stumble into enough points to make it happen...

And in Atlanta. I'm a big fan of the fact that two of the league's best passing attacks are going up against two of the league's worst pass defenses...



Done and Done...


Monday Night



Arizona Cardinals (-9.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

Mike Singeltary's already dropped his pants in private, but now it's time for his team to do so in front of a world wide audience. The only difference? (at least I hope) This time, there should be something resonating from rear. Look for San Fran to take a huge dump on National TV, only to have Singeltary make people forget about their performance with another hysterical press conference, instantly destined for YouTube infamy...


Geesh. Where's President Charley when you need him?...



Oh shit, there he is! Wobbly Yullllllllllllllllle!....


Last Week: 8-6-0 (Top Picks: 3-4-0)

Overall: 72-55-3 (.566)

Top Picks: 29-22-1 (.567)


Hold on to that one percentage point advantage, top picks!...(AKA - this is starting to get a tad bit embarrassing)



Now it's on to the college game. And as is always the case when it comes to college pigskin, the later in the year, the bigger the games become...



Last week, the big games on the slate included a #1 stunner from Texas Tech and a Florida beatdown of Georgia @ the World's Most Lopsided Cocktail Party. This week? Well it's the implementation of another hard and fast college football rule. Just when you think we went through the weekend with the biggest games. BAM! Another huge weekend is right around the corner...

OK, that's basically the same rule, but that's how typical HUGE showdowns like the ones this week are...

In Baton Rogue, Louisana, we have the Saban Bowl. Nicky and the Tide roll into town while Les Miles and his LSU Tigers try to play National Championship spoiler by sticking one in their former head coaches money loving heart...

The Big XII does the SEC one better with their top 10 showdown between Oklahoma St. and new National darling, the #2 Texas Tech Red Raiders. We all became believers after seeing Michale Crabtree's tight rope walk to beat Texas, but the Cowboys are out to prove that they too deserve to be on the conference's top tier with the likes of Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, and of course their opponent. I can't say I like head coach Mike Gundy's chances, no matter how much of a "man" he is, but at the very least this should prove to be an entertaining, back and forth shootout...


In Iowa, we have Joe Paterno "not worrying about the BCS....or is it the BSC?", as the Fraud St. Nittany Lions look to move to a perfect 10-0. They should cruise to the W in this one, but it's the fact that another sub-standard Big 10 team is gonna take advantage of a weak conference and sputter into the BCS title game that has me a little on edge. I know it's happened before, and will only create great media fodder. But enough is enough already...

Upsets to watch for this week include Northwestern being spotted 11 @ home against Ohio St., Baylor getting a full 4 touchdowns @ Texas, and the Ramblin' Wreck of Georgia Tech being given 4 points on the road visiting in conference rival North Carolina...

Can't say I like all 3 of those teams chances of winning, but seeing as the boys in Sin City are giving me so much wiggle room, I'm taking those dogs, and I;m taking the points. If they win? Well that'll just make me look even smarter now, won't it?...

Now have at it! And just remember. It's not a real college party until you have to ask yourself "If I didn't put it in her drink, then I shouldn't have to tell her to put her clothes back on, right?"...HA!


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(1) Alabama (-3)
@ (15) LSU

(2) Texas Tech (-3) vs (8) Oklahoma St.

(3) Penn St. (-7.5) @ Iowa

(4) Florida (-24) @ Vanderbilt

Baylor (+28) @ (5) Texas

(6) Oklahoma (-26.5) @ Texas A&M

(7) USC (-20.5) vs (21) California

(9) Boise St. (-33) vs Utah St.

Northwestern (+11) vs (12) Ohio St.

(13) Missouri (-27) vs Kansas St.

(14) Georgia (-10.5) @ Kentucky

(17) BYU (-34.5) vs San Diego St.

(18) Michigan St. (-9.5) vs Purdue

(22) Georgia Tech (+4) @ (19) North Carolina

(20) West Virginia (-7) vs Cincinnati

(24) Florida St. (-4.5) vs Clemson

(25) Pittsburgh (-6) vs Louisville



Last Week: 11-5-1

Overall: 104-67-5 (.605)


And that'll do it for this Friday's edition, kids. I hope your enjoying the new presidency, or least enjoying bitching about it. And I'll be back to discuss all that and more with you early next week. I promise not to puss out this time AND I promise that I won't forget to bring you up to speed on MLB's hot stove, my NCAA All Americans, and any other tasty tidbits that happen to come across my desk (bed) between now and then...


Oh, and just a little note to all those who have felt that it was their duty this week to tell every Obama supporter how dumb they are...


IF WE WANTED YOUR ADVICE WHEN WE WENT TO THE POLLS, WE WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU FOR IT. AND THE REASON MOST PEOPLE VOTED FOR HIM, IS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE/PARTY YOU SUPPORT SPENT THE LAST 8 YEARS FUCKING THIS COUNTRY UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION...

WE AREN'T IN LOVE WITH BARACK, IT'S THAT WE'RE SICK OF THE OTHER GUYS! IF IT DOESN'T WORK? WELL AT LEAST WE GAVE IT A SHOT, RIGHT? INSTEAD OF CHOOSING AT LEAST 4 MORE YEARS OF A STRATEGY, AND A FRAME OF MIND, THAT WE ALREADY KNOW JUST ISN'T GETTING THE JOB DONE. I MEAN THE ECONOMY IS IN THE SHITTER AND WE'RE STILL FIGHTING THE COUNTRY'S MOST UNPOPULAR WAR, RIGHT? SO WHAT COULD BE THE HARM IN A LITTLE CHANGE?...

DON'T TRY TO CENSOR PEOPLE'S VOTING RITES JUST BECAUSE YOUr CANDIDATE LOST, AND AT LEAST GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE BEFORE YOU RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN. DISMISSING HIM BEFORE HE EVEN SPENDS ONE DAY ON THE JOB JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER RACIST, AND SOMEONE WHO IS SO NAIVE, THAT YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT IF YOU ELECTED MCCAIN, HE WAS GONNA KEEP ALL HIS CAMPAIGN PROMISES...

I KNOW IT'S YOUR COUNTRY TOO, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'ER TAKING PRIDE IN IT'S LEADERSHIP, BUT ATTACKING ANOTHER PERSON'S CONSTITUTIONAL RITE TO PICK THEIR PRESIDENT, JUST MAKES YOU LOOK DUMB. SORRY YOU'RE OLD GUY LOST, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME WHEN YOU RUN THAT LIBRARIAN OUT THERE FOR ANOTHER SHOT AT IT...

AND WHO KNOWS. MAYBE BY THEN I'LL WELCOME THE CHANGE, AND REGRET THE WAY THIS ELECTION WENT DOWN. BUT THE THING IS, I'LL STILL APPLAUD THE COUNTRY FOR TAKING THIS CHANCE. MAYBE NOT A CHANCE FOR THE DRASTIC CHANGE THAT MANY OBAMA SUPPORTERS BELIVE OR MCCAIN SUPPORTERS DREAD. BUT A CHANCE TO CHANGE DIRECTION. A CHANCE TO CHANGE A LOT OF THINGS THAT A LOT OF US HAVE GROWN TO DISLIKE ABOUT OUR GREAT NATION. JUST A CHANCE FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. A CHANCE TO TAKE A CHANCE. AND AS SPORTS FANS, WE SHOULD ALL BE GAME FOR TAKING THOSE CHANCES, CROSSING OUR FINGERS, AND HOPING FOR THE BEST...

IT'S A LOT TO ASK WHEN YOU'RE GAMBLING ON YOUR COUNTRY, BUT IT'S ALSO ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT YOU'D RISK IT ALL TO TRY AND FIX. HERE'S TO RISKING IT ALL, HAVING A LITTLE FAITH, AND RESPECTING THE RITES AND OPINIONS OF YOUR FELLOW MAN...

NADER/THAT MEXICAN '12...


I'm outta here...