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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Celts Perk Up, Take 3-2 Series Edge

I'm not sure if you heard, but there was a basketball game on last night. I'll get to that and so much more, including some hot dime pieces, and a sport I just can't seem to figure out...



Kendrick Perkins should have known better than to play well early in game 5 of last night's Eastern Conference Finals. No sooner did Perk come through with some big boards a few nice "clean-up" type buckets, than he was replaced by PJ Brown, allowing Maxiell Airlines to make several non-stop thunderous flights to the rack. I understand that guys can't play all the time and that everyone is sweatin' Brown's jock these days, but don't tell me this guy is in there for defense. It's just laughable. Sure he made a few good shots, but I don't buy that PJ Brown is doing anything out there that a more athletic tandem of Powe and Baby couldn't also be giving you. They did an adequate job the first 82 games, didn't they?


And what's the deal with airline food/Sam Cassell? Dude can't get the ball for more than 5 seconds without chuckin' up a brick, or givin' the bean to the other team. And trust me, it IS every 5 seconds, because every time he coughs it up, my buddy Josh sends me text that look like this...


Why is Cassell in? Does Eddie House have AIDS?

You have to be freakin kidding me with Cassell

and

Someone needs to kill that ugly alien bastard...


And it was right at that point that Cassell got his money taken by Rodney Stuckey, that the Celts actually started to play ball. Doc yanked the Alien, brought back Perk, and watched the magic happen. Perkins posted playoff highs in both points in rebounds (18/16), shut down McDyess and Maxiell, and played with an emotion that seemed to spread throughout both his teammates and the fans. Allen finally snapped out of his playoff slump with 29 huge points and was finally able to compliment KG, who had a playoff best 33 point performance. All of a sudden, a six point deficit that only seemed destined to grow, was an 8 point lead that seemed in more than capable hands...


The C's were cruisin'. They had the Pistons on the ropes down 10 in the 4th, and bam! Sheed gets T'd up. Game over right? Wrong.


Can't blame this one on Doc, though, as the mean Green, with no bench support all game long, were just gassed. Billups, Hamilton, Sheed, and a very game Rodney Stuckey came storming back as Boston continued to take quick shot after quick shot, and throw errant pass after errant pass. Then Perk, whose emotion in the beginning was a main catalyst of the game, gets T'd up himself. Combined that with Rondo, who's 13 assists to 1 turnover couldn't be more deceiving, committed a cardinal sin by following Chauncey from down town, and Detroit was right back in this thing.


Now, there's one minute left, and Sugar Ray strokes a long 2 to give the C's the 3 point lead. After a series of scoreless possessions, KG misses a long 2 up against the shot clock, and Detroit gets the ball. Rip Hamilton is obviously hurt on the play, but with no timeouts left, Detroit has no way of stopping the clock. So, in an attempt to prevent the 3 pointer to tie the game, Boston fouls....but with almost 9 seconds left and the ball barely over half court. Maybe a good move, so the fouled wouldn't be committed in the act of shooting, but after Rodney Stuckey makes 2 at the line, Detroit still had a shot to win. Ahhhh. That is until Doc unveiled his master plan, and fouled right away again after Allen pushed the lead back to 3. The strategy worked too a tee, the C's were able to run out the clock, and come away with a 3-2 series lead...


That's right. I'm saying a strategy allegedly perpetrated by Glen Rivers (the boys on ESPN seem to think it was the assistant coach barking the order) was actually a big help in Boston surviving a late charge to again take command of the Eastern Conference Finals. I still think this sucker is gonna go the full 7 games, but I think fans should be encouraged by the way the team, and the coach, buckled down to hold on to what would have been a debilitating game 5 loss. It's been more than 20 years, and now the Celtics are only one game away from playing for banner 17...


...then again. I suppose it wouldn't be all bad if they lost game 6 in Detroit. At least then we'd have a shot at catchin' coach Belicheat court side with his fine, house-wrecking piece of ass. Sweet day in the morning does it ever pay to be grumpy and thorough. (and you know that look is because Bill swear's he just saw the MILF Hunter out of the corner of his eye...)


Red Sox Update
Overall: 32-23, 2nd place AL East by 1.5 games

-One week, people are saying the Sox need to trade Coco Crisp in order to clear room in the outfield for Jacoby Ellsbury. The next, it's people bitchin' about Wakefield clogging the path of Justin Masterson, or Lugo takin' up space that could be used by Jed Lowrie. What everyone tends to forget, (and by everyone I mean most people outside the front office and clubhouse) is that injuries happen. Matter of fact, they happen like clockwork. Now with the Dice man possibly on the shelf for a bit, and JD Drew doing his best JD Drew impression every 2 weeks or so, guys like Crisp are pressed into important roles. I know we all want All Stars at every position, but there really is nothing that helps a team through the long grind more than quality depth. That's why, despite their consistently streaky ways, I think the Sox should still be viewed as the favorites to take down the AL. That is of course, if the injury bug doesn't continue to strike...but isn't that always the case??...



-Let me just tell you this. Tampa or no Tampa, the Yankees have their sights set squarely on the Red Sox right now. With the emergence of pitcher Daryl Rasner (3-0), and the awakening of the Yankee bats, it looks as if this team is actually beginning to come around. Joba Chamberlain is being moved into the rotation, and while many have questioned the change, I for one think Yankee fans should embrace it. Sure it leaves a hole in their bully, but as I've said all along, this bull pen is good enough as long as the starters can get them 6 innings on a regular basis. Rookie Edwar Ramirez, has quietly gone all year in AAA and the bigs without giving up an earned run, and very well could fill in the 8th inning role vacated by Joba. And while there's still no lefty out there to speak of, that's a problem that should be able to be adequately addressed before the trading deadline. What I see, is a rotation of Wang, Pettitte, Mussina, Rasner and Chamberlain that's starting to hit it's stride, and an offense that' scored more than 7 runs a game over their last 7 games, and finally has a healthy Matusi and A-Rod in the middle of it's lineup. Don't kid yourself. it might say they're last in the East right now, but they're still the Yanks. They're the team the Sox are gonna have to beat and believe me, they're gonna be right there with 'em down to the season's final days. You can quote me on it...

-And in a very interesting development, 5 Red Sox players currently lead at their respective positions for the 2008 All-Star voting. A game that just so happens to be being played at Yankee Stadium....and managed by Terry Francona...in the last year of games being played at the "New" Yankee Stadium. Yeah, safe to say that might be an interesting event...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To
-Apparently Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano doesn't like to be booed. So much so, in fact, that Sori complained to Cubs management, and asked them to regulate the trash talking going on in the friendly confines of the left field bleachers. In other words, he wants security to take note of the particularly aggressive fans, and give them the boot accordingly. Much like reading books and eating pizza correctly, it seems people in Chicago don't a grip on another important aspect of life...FREEDOM OF SPEECH. If I paid to get in, and you suck, then you're gonna hear about it. You don't like it, then head on back to whatever 3rd world shit hole you came from and harvest sticks for 10 cents a day. See if any of us even bat an eye. Geez. Complaining about being booed. I suppose he's gonna want a "participant" trophy too when the Cubbies take their normal summer slide all the way out of the play off picture...

-When you're down on your luck, you're runnin' low on cash, and you've been kicked down so low the porn stars can barely see you, there's only one place to turn. Celebrity boxing. That's where Jose Canseco finds himself after posting an online ad requesting a partner in this diabolical dance for cash. The equally money starved tard that took him up on this offer? None other than former NFL return specialist, Vai Sikehema. Come on Jose, it's getting tougher and tougher to tell people that Juiced was actually a ground breaking book, man. First the Surreal Life, then a bunch of other F-List shit, and now this? It's lookin' like a money-grab, Jose. And I'm for loots, don't get me wrong, just don't expect me or anyone else to take anything you say seriously ever again. Wearing lingerie on TV is one thing, but to embarass the sport of boxing is another. So I say good day to you sir. Good day...


-Speaking of which. Sammy Sosa announced this week that he will retire from baseball after the 2009 World Baseball Classic. OK. First off, I had completely forgotten about the sketchy Pros-that-love-their-country display that is the World Baseball Classic. And two, how can you retire from something that you're not currently doing? Listen, Sambo. I know baseball was bery bery good to you, but the gig is up. You're out of baseball because you're deflated, and viewed as a black mark on the game. Hell, screw the second part, dude just flat out can't play anymore. Anb the general public had you retiring the day you sat next to Big Mac in Congress and forgot how to speak English. We told you to go away, so to now tell us that you're the one stepping away, just confirms to all your haters just how dumb and naive you truly are. Now go take two hops to whatever island you played yourself off of, and have a nice life...

-The countdown is on in Flushing, Queens this week as Mets skipper Willie Randolph clings to his job like George Bush to the idea that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. The Mets have been a below .500 team since May last season, and their collapse alone to end '07 would have been enough cause for me. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, and he doesn't seem like a bad manager. But between the conflict in his clubhouse between Los Mets and The Metropolitans is like a scene out of the Outsiders and needs to be stopped. And seeing as you can't just revamp your roster, the logical solution is to at least give it another go with somebody different calling the shots from the bench. I'm sayin', I don't think Willie "deserves" to be fired so much as the Mets need to make a change at head coach. It's a little convoluted, I know, I just think this team needs to change whatever it is they have goin' on right now, and I say firing Willie is as good an option as any other...


-And the biggest surprise by far of this year's baseball season is the fact that both Tampa Bay and Florida currently sit atop their respective divisions. Not that their fans have noticed. In a Sunday doubleheader sweep this weekend, the Marlins drew a combined 14,000 fans, or about the same number of people that get denied seats to your average Red Sox or Yankees game. And that's for 2 freaking games! I get the fact that there's more to do in Florida for most of the baseball season than there is to do in most of the other smallish markets, but that's downright embarrassing. I understand the Rays, who still sit in the heart of Yankee/Red Sox country down there, but the Marlin fan(s) should be embarrassed of themselves. We've seen you fools pack the stadium in the playoffs when the Fish were winnin' rings, yet even when they're doing well in the regular season you all seem apathetic to the cause. Maybe Major League Baseball just doesn't fly down there, I don't know. But it seems to me, in an area so ripe with young baseball talent, that people should be more excited about what these young teams are doing...

News and Notes
-ESPN.com made a point this week of debating whether or not Robert Horry should ever be elected to the Hall of Fame, and I think the argument is hysterical. In my experience, Hall of Fame voters have been notorious for keeping guys out, or at least delaying their acceptance, due to lack of post season success, but in this case it seems they want to do just the opposite. Horry's made countless big shots on his alleged gravy train to 7 total Championship rings, but only managed to average a shade over 7 points a game for the rest of his 16+ year career. So which is more important? OR, does it even matter? You hear time and time again that the REAL games are in the playoffs, and that the REAL big time players step up in those big games, right? So if this guy was one of the all time best when the games were at their most important, then why couldn't, and more importantly, shouldn't be a Hall of Famer? He would certainly get my vote, but by no means do I think he's a first ballot slam dunk. Much like players I mentioned that struggle to get in due to lack of championship success, I think Horry too should be forced to wait to gain acceptance, but I don't think that makes him any less worthy. So the guy played with Hakeem, Clyde, Shaw, Kobe, Duncan and Robinson...so what? He may not have carried those teams to where they ultimately went, but I think without his clutch play and numerous contributions, a lot of those guys wouldn't be home right now polishing their post season hardware. (You tellin' me Charles Barkely couldn't have used a guy like Big Shot Rob?) It's a tough debate, but my stance is let the guy in. He might not be what you want to picture when you think of a Hall of Famer, but maybe that's because the common perception, and the voter's definition, needs to be re-written...

-Freakin' lacrosse is like an enigma to me. Like the Triple Crown, I only tune in when the title is on the line, but I must say every year I watch I find myself thoroughly entertained. This year was no different, as 3 exciting games saw Syracuse win a double OT semifinal thriller against Virginia, and then top Johns Hopkins to bring home an NCAA record 10th lacrosse National Championship.

Now, I cruise around Attleboro and I see kids just now starting to play lacrosse and wonder...Would I have been down? A lot of me wants to say yes, but when I think long and hard about it, the answer must be a resounding NO. After all, I actually went to Syracuse, and didn't attend a single lacrosse game. The sport has action, physicality, and a very simple concept of getting a ball in the back of the net. Seemingly everything you would need to make an entertaining sport, right? So why doesn't it catch on? I wish I had an answer, but the truth is I don't. All I know, is that watching that game made me feel good, even made me feel like playing lacrosse. But a week from now, I will have forgotten all about it. It's a real head scratcher, I must admit, but it's just one that I've come to accept. Maybe some day I'll come around, but I figure if I haven't by now, and the rest of the country could give two shits, then I'm prolly just gonna stay away for good...


-So former Florida Gator turned NBA outcast Joakim Noah got busted for pot, and his froo-froo dad the former tennis star doesn't want people talkin' about it. Well, maybe if you didn't name him Joakim, give him a privileged life, and allowed him to grow his hair like Bob Marley, then he wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. What I'm left wondering is, how did a kid like this manage to slip out of Syracuse' grab? From what I've seem, he fits their M-O to a freakin' T! But seriously, with all the pot arrests in the NBA in the last 10 years or so, don't we all just assume all these guys are gettin' ripped? What, I'm supposed to believe that pot leaf tat has some familial significance? Please. And Noah worst of all. The only guys that grow their hair out in a fro like that, are Jews or pot-heads....and in the case of some people I know, both!

-The new Maxim 100 came out recently, and #1 hottie Marisa Miller reigns supreme. You may remember this smokin' hot dime piece from her barely there bikini on the cover of this year's SI Swimsuit issue, while I may remember her from the dreams I've had every night since laying eyes on it. Those in the biz are calling Miller a cross between Pam Anderson and Cindy Crawford, and the next great pure bred American super model. Personally, I could care less which country she's from...hey, ass is ass...but I do have to admit that this Cindy/Pam thing has got me goin'. Any mention of vintage Pam still gets me goin' these days. Sure it might be like throwin a Lincoln log in Atlantic Ocean at this point, and she might be ripe with countless STDs but I think it's just the fact that she was IT when I was growing up that still has me hooked. And I have to agree, this Marisa Miller chick is definitely of that caliber. I mean look at her, she's a 10 wit ha capital TEN! Obviously I could do without the Kings jersey, but I think we can file that under the heading of beggors V chosers. If you haven't checked the list out yet, knock yourself out. Just don't be alramed by the Asian Internet whore on the first page there alarm you. I sware there's hot chicks on the list...

MAXIM HOT 100:
http://www.maxim.com/Girls/2008Hot100/slideshow/2463.aspx

For the rest of you, I'm outta here. It's been real, but as always it's time for us to say our goodbyes. Either I'll see you or I won't. and in either case, I'm sure I'll be fine with it...

RoochCrest....OUT!.......<-----gay

Thursday, May 22, 2008

What's Brown Gots For You?

So I guess since the Celtics cruised to a game 1 win I'm supposed to start eating my words, and begging for forgiveness, right? Wrong. There have been a lot of misconceptions on my feelings about that Boston Celtics lately, and I'm here to set the record straight...well, kinda...


It was an impressive win for the C's on Tuesday night, as they took a 1 point halftime lead, grabbed momentum, and virtually breezed to a 9 point win over the Detroit Pistons. If you're the average Celts fan (which means you just realized in the last 18 months the Charlotte has a team again, and they're called the "Bobcats" now...you bandwagon trash), you're now thumpin' your chest and sayin' the same thing you did after the playoff's first two game 1's. "It's ovvaaaaah! This teams wicked beat and we're winnin' in 5 tops, dude". Arrogant? Yes, although that's what makes a good fan. Ignoring the facts? Of course, this is a Boston fan we're talking about, isn't it? But wrong? Ehhhh yes and no.


Before the series, I called this one for Detroit in 6 or 7, but that was before I saw Chauncey Billups limpin' around the garden like he'd been shot by a sniper. He's a big part of what that team does, and if he's not at 100%, yea....I wouldn't be shocked if the C's grabbed a road game and ended this thing in 5. It would pain me to see my man Sheed go home without another shot at a loud and obnoxious NBA ring, but like any good team, they can't win at this point of the season if they're not clicking on all cylinders with all their key players. It is after all, all about the players. Which brings me to this...


A lot of you out there have misunderstood my hatred of Glen "Doc" Rivers. I said when the season opened, that while this team had the talent to get to the Eastern Finals, they didn't have the coach to take them those final two steps to the title. He's never proven in my eyes to be any good at consistently changing his game plan to change momentum, playing the right guys the right minutes, or drawing up any sort of last second plays to win games. Plainly put, while he might be a nice guy that knows how to talk to players, I just don't think he can manage a game worth a lick. That being said, that description I gave for Doc would probably be one of the nicer things you would read from a Detroit fan about their head coach, Flip Saunders. I'm not saying Doc is lucky because the other coach is a tard too, I'm just saying in a situation where the coaches are basically a wash, it's gonna come down to talent, which with Billups out gives the C's the decisive edge...


So to answer a question I've been asked a lot recently, No. I won't get off Doc's back if he makes it to the NBA Finals. This team is so talented, a methed out lizard could coach it to the NBA Finals. And if he wins the title, No. That won't change my thoughts on him either. Naturally, if there are some key moves he makes to get either of these titles, then yes, I might have some sort of epiphany, but I don't see that comin'. Either he runs into a Laker/Spur team with a major injury, or he'll probably get flat out smoked by Phil or Popovic. Granted they're Hall of Famers, but that's only going to make it that much more obvious. Until this guy makes adjustments that to me even begin to resemble a good decision, no ring, and no championship parade will convince me he's a good coach. Are Rondo, Powe, Glen Davis and rest any better because of the coaching by Doc? No. These guys are better because of the presence of Kevin Garnett. If he's not here, Doc's long gone, and Danny & the MD are in the unemployment line trying to pick up the TNT scraps left behind by the analysts leaving for actual management posts...

I can point to PJ Brown and Eddie House in the last 2 games as positive plays by Doc, but for me that's more of a "uhhh what were you waiting for", as much as it was some sort of suave play. Also, those moves both came in home wins. Show me somethin' on the road when you're fighting momentum!! As unnecessary and cruel as it may sound, I think whatever this team achieves, it will be in spite of Glen Rivers, and not because of anything his crayon drawin' ass did on the bench. Maybe KG and the Truth knew all this ahead of time, and played that much harder to get home court. Damn! They knew Doc couldn't get them a road win this whole time!!...


I'm all for the Celtics winning, but until I saw the extent of Billups' injury I didn't like their chances. (that, and I like being the one guy not rooting for the Celts) I still don't think anything is remotely close to in the bag, but if Chauncey limps out there for game 2 for another beatdown, then I think Detroit has squandered their best chance of winning a road game (after their long rest). They'll be in for a steep, uphill battle against a loaded veteran team hungry for their first ring, and with a chip on their shoulder looking for that first road playoff win. Game 2 tonite will tell the story, and I for one know I'll be checkin' it out...Ya know, as long as there aren't too many Family Guy reruns on to distract me...

Now if you don't mind, I'd like to discuss a Boston team I actually like that's doing their fair share of winning these days as well...


Red Sox Update
Overall: 30-19, 1st in AL East by 2 games


-I don't know what's more impressive. Jon Lester's no hitter, or the fact it was the 4th no-no (to go along with at least 4 one-hitters) that Jason Varitek had called as a catcher. OK, I do know who/what is more impressive, and it's Tek. Consider the guys that threw the no-hitters (Nomo, Lowe, Lester, and Buchholz) , and you can see that these were pitchers that were being put in amazing situations by an over-prepared catcher. And Lester, to his credit, has no-hitter stuff. But until he actually puts together two quality starts in a row, he'll still fall into the category of guys that need to be led, as opposed to a guy out there with a definite plan of his own. It's an amazing accomplishment for both of these guys, but like I said, I gotta give the nod to Varitek. Just remember this when he's hitting .147 in July, because he'll be just as vital to the club then as he is now hitting .286. Nobody handles a staff like this guy, and the Lester no-hitter is just another in a long line of notches in his belt...


-It's great to know that young righty Justin Masterson is knockin' around in our farm system, but let's make sure he stays there for at least another month or two. Red Sox scouting shows that the kid struggles in this 3rd time through a lineup (which he has yet to see in the bigs), and that he needs to work on a change up to compliment the rest of his arsenal. I like the approach. Let the kid work out some kinks in the minors, while Bartolo Colon et. al hold down the fort till the All Star break. Then Masterson will be able to ease into a role in the middle-back of the bullpen (a la '05 Papelbon), and could be available at the back end of the rotation if injuries or other issues arise. You know, like if Clay Buchholz's trip to Pawtucket turns into an extended vacation. Man, could you think of a worse place to spend your summer than the 'Bucket?...


-In general, the Sox are on another one of their streaks. For the 4th time this year they've won 4 in a row, to go along with losing 3 or more in a row 3 times. It's tough for me to imagine this kind of streaky play continuing for the whole season, but I do think their ability to string together this various winning streaks is a good sign for the long summer grind to come...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To
-Mike Piazza officially retired this week after 16 seasons in Major League Baseball. Due to the constant media questioning of his sexuality, and the way his career sort of faded out in the AL, a lot of people quickly forgot just how good this guy was. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer that, while not being the best defensive catcher, set the new standard for a backstop that could annually provide you with 30 homers and 100 RBI. Not bad for a guy taken by Tommy Lasorda in the 62nd round of the '88 draft as a personal favor to Mike's father. Sixteen years, 427 home runs, and 12 All-Star appearances later, and it goes to show that some good deeds do go unpunished. I watched Piazza mature, from his Rookie of the Year in '93, and he served as an insipiration to me as I worked hard to become a catcher myself. Granted I was all-D and no bat, but thats beside the point. The point is, baseball lost a great guy when Mike decided to hang up the spikes. And while I'm sure he'll be back as an analyst or color guy for one of the million networks out there, it just won't be the same...




-My main man Josh Hamilton has beaten heroin, and now he's takin' out all his withdrawal rage on American League pitching. "Big H", as I coined him, was the former #1 overall pick, who dropped out of baseball after struggling with drug addiction. He made it to the bigs last year with Cincinnati, but this year in Texas he's the one providing the spike to the Rangers offense. In 47 games, Hamilton leads the AL in extra base hits with 27, RBI with 51, and is hitting .328 with 11 dingers. So, if you're reading this from the gutter, keep in mind that anything's possible...as long as you do enough H...



-I'd like to formally apologize to Cliff Lee was cursing him with my arrogant claims about his untouchable pimpness so far this season. After I lauded the Cleveland lefty for the second week, he promptly went and got spanked around by the NL offensive juggernaut known as the Cincinnati Reds. To make matters worse, Cliffy, the AL ERA leader, was up against Edison Volquez, the NL ERA leader. Geez. That almost seems like one of those "announcer curses". You know, when they talk about how this guy never misses free throws, and then bam he cranks two off the front rim? That's what this game was. It was a set up I tell ya! A Set up! Those things never work out the way you think you should, and it's the very reason I can never seem to make any good money betting on sports. I'm too sensible, and nothing ever goes as you think they should. Like Kenny Mayne said before he was relegated to being Hank Goldberg's sober living partner, "the games aren't played on paper, they're played inside televison sets". Hopefully for you Cliff, you'll get off the paper and starting playing inside TV's again in your next start...

OK enough baseball. It's time for me to rip the NBA a new one...


News and Notes
-In case you can't understand where a lot of my NBA hatred stems from, you need look no further than the off the court news making the rounds this week...


First, you have the Chicago Bulls winning the NBA Draft Lottery on Tuesday night, despite having only a 1.7% chance of doing so. Now, forget how dumb the lottery system is for a minute, and focus on yet another chance for conspiracy fans to point out how an NBA "power" franchise receives seemingly yet another big break from the league at large. OH, and it doesn't help that the #1 slot puts the Bulls in prime position to grab Memphis PG Derrick Rose, who happens to be from?...you guessed it. Chicago! It's all about business, man, and a good team in Chicago, is good for business. A good team in Miami? Not so much. I'm not saying there is any legit fire to go with this smoke, but when you're draft ordering system resembles BINGO night at the old folks home, you're always gonna be opening yourself up to all sorts of legitimate criticism...


Then you have former NBA ref, Tim Donaghy, coming out this week and basically saying players, coaches and refs were all on the take when it came to fixing games. Again, this could just be a guy trying to save his own skin, but it doesn't look good. David Stern came out and called Donaghy (whose name he struggled to pronounce) a felon trying to save himself from jail, which in my eyes just made Stern look ignorant. Then the Commish went on to respond to a question about his officials, by saying the happiest day of his career, was when both the winning and losing teams in a game called to complain about the officiating. What the F?! You're happiest day? I mean is it me, or shouldn't the happiest day be when both teams call to compliment the officials? What an ass backwards approach. Again, it's shit like this that keeps the door of possible impropriety wide open, with a cash trail leading us all through to the other side. Just because you laugh it off by saying "sometimes even Jeff Van Gundy is wrong, or you dismiss Donaghy as a felon, itsn't enough. It all goes back to credibility, and in my eyes, the NBA is in getting pretty skimp in that department. You can keep telling me things are fine, and that it's all a bunch of media hype, but when my eyes are telling me a drastically different story I'm just not gonna buy it. I like how Stern always deflects to the great play on the floor, and the way he packs the stands you have to think he's right. But if this league is going to continue to stay relevant in the eyes of the fans that really do love it, they're going to have to at least show they are taking legit steps to clean it up, and regain it's credibility. Ditching the lottery would be a good start...



-One of the drawbacks to being in a college fraternity, is that sometimes you come back to your room to find someone has screwed with your computer. Whether it's meatspin.com, 2girlsonecup, or any kind of animal-on-hooker site, there's a lot of things you see on your screen that you'd rather remove from your memory using scotch, dope, and maybe a little Windex for good measure. That being said, I've seen horses do a lot of crazy shit on the Internet, but none of it compared to the aboslut horse raping performed by Big Brown in last weekend's Preakness Stakes. Not only did the colt named for UPS crush the field by 7 lengths, but he was held back for about 3/4 of the race by jockey Kent Desormeaux, and appeared to have plenty of juice left while he coasted across the finish line. So much so, that you thought he might head right into the far rail while trying to pull up after getting the W. That's a great sign for the Belmont, which at 1 1/2 miles is the longest test of the Triple Crown, and more than 3/10 of a mile longer than the Preakness (Derby is 1 1/4)...


Now a lot of you might not remember/care, but coming unbeaten into the Belmont is something we've sen quite a few times in recent history. Real Quiet lost the Belmont by a nose in '98, Charismatic broke his leg in '99, while War Emblem ('02), Funny Cide ('03) and Smarty Jones ('04), also lost the Belmont and were never really in contention. I was surprised when Real Quiet, Charismatic and Funny Cide lost, but not nearly as shocked as I'll be if Big Brown somehow manages to pull some sort of epic collapse. Those horses also had convincing wins in the Triple Crown's first two legs, but none nearly as impressive as Big Brown. He's dusted the lackluster fields in the first two races with distance to spare, and with another crop of weak also-rans likely signing up for the Belmont, the only horse that can stop Big Brown should be himself. That begs to question who will even want to race this guy after watching the first two races (there's rumor of some ringer Japanese horse coming in to make it a match race), but that's something I'll leave to the experts like the White Randy Moss.

In my eyes, this horse is unbeatable. I've seen weirder shit happen in the Triple Crown, but I think it's time for a new horse to claim the title. We've gone through the horses dying, breaking their legs, and losing by a nose. Now it's time for this generation of race fans to actually get to see what a Triple Crown winner looks like. It's been a long time coming, and it should be a sweet sight to see...


Alright, well that's it for me this week, kiddos. Got a long weekend comin' up, and my boy Frosco will be back in the states, so it should be a doozy. If I don't see you out, then it means you're not nearly as cool as you think you might me, and you should really get to work on that.

Stay pimpin'...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I Spy Jealousy & Ego

Man oh man, what a sad state the world of sports is in these days. And I'm not just talking about SpyGate either...Check it out...


SPYGATE
-It still might be up for debate whether you think SpyGate is "over" after Matt Walsh met with Roger Goodell this week, but what's clear to me is that the recent developments have defined the winners, and real big losers that have been unearthed thanks the the Patriots illegal taping. I've tried not to view this thing through the Flying Elvis shaded glasses of a hardcore Patriots fan, and this is how I think this thing has broken down...

Winners
Matt Walsh
-So he never had a tape of the Rams walk-through. Shocker. At least the guy got to show what he did have, and get his name out of the papers once and for all. Has to feel good. Also doesn't hurt that it's become painfully obvious that Walsh was not the one who leaked the walk-through claim to the Boston Herald. Has to feel good getting all that out in the open...


Roger Goodell
-The NFL Sheriff was very eloquent and direct when answering questions about Walsh and the tapes, and his decision to take no further action against the Pats seemed well researched and well founded. For more on how direct, thorough and to the point the NFL boss was, check out Mike Reiss' take on it on his blog...

Reiss "Key Points From Goodell":
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/reiss_pieces/2008/05/key_points_from.html

New England Patriots
-In this case, no news really IS good news. I understand that the team was essentially caught cheating, but the fact that no new evidence was uncovered in this latest installment of the ongoing scandal has to have the Pats brass and players feeling rather vindicated. It will still be some time before opposing fans will let this whole thing go, which I understand, but with Walsh now out of the picture, at least the franchise should be able to move on without feeling any sort of embarrassment, or questioning whether or not their achievements have been the least bit tainted...


Losers
The Boston Herald
-When Herald columnist John Tomase (above/creepin' me the F out!) wrote the story of the alleged walk-through tape without any legit sources, he not only made an entire nation of Patriot's fans pissed due to his allegations and timing, but very well may have sealed the professional fate of both himself and the paper he works for. Tomase went out on a limb right before the Super Bowl in an attempt to, I can only assume, further his career, by running with information that the Pats had taped the walk-through prior to the Super Bowl against the Rams. Now, despite the Herald's too little too late apology , both he and the paper have probably alienated Patriot fans from the paper forever. This is why you have multiple sources, my friends. And it's also proof that many times what appears to be too good to be true is exactly that...

apology:http://bostonherald.com/sports/football/patriots/view.bg?articleid=1093898&srvc=home&position=1


ESPN
-Quite frankly, ESPN's coverage of Walsh's meeting with Goodell on Tuesday afternoon was flat out embarrassing. I understand they have 4 channels and a radio network's worth of programming to fill, but ESPN's "expert analysis" about Spygate has been as hysterical as it has been unnecessary. I always knew that Tom Jackson was a Patriot hater, stemming back to when he said the players hated Belichick after the Lawyer Milloy trade, but the comments of both Mark Schlereth and Chris Carter on the day of the Walsh meeting lead me to believe that perhaps one bad apple has spoiled the whole bunch. Despite listening to the entire Goodell press conference, Schlereth still insisted that he found it hard to believe the Patriots weren't using the tapes during the game. OK, so you think Walsh is lying, I can accept that. But then to argue Walsh's point that the Pats usually only edited the tapes of teams they would play again that season by asking why Pittsburgh was on the tapes, just makes it look like you were taking a dump while the Commish was speaking. Belichick said all along, and Goodell has concurred, that he's been taping every game in this manner since he arrived in Foxboro. And further more, despite not being a divisional opponent, is it that unlikely to assume the Pats would think they might get another crack at the Steelers later in the year? Please fellas. Try listening next time...


Bill Belichick
-In so many words, Commissioner Goodell said he didn't believe Bill's explanation that he "misinterpreted" the rule, and that the Pats head coach knew he was cheating the entire time. Hmmm. Yeah, that sounds like the Bill we've come to know and love, doesn't it? I can't blame the guy for trying to get an edge, but once he was caught, he should have come cleaner than he did. That's why I have no problem with the fine assessed to the team in the immediate wake of the scandal. Bill broke the rule, he was punished, and should be viewed as someone who's arrogance led him to believe he could do whatever he damn well pleased...


Sal Paolantonio (ESPN reporter)
-Why can't this guy just come out and say he's an Eagles fan like Specter, and therefore can't be put in a position to report on this story? Before the meeting, Sal, whom I have always respected as a great reporter, had a list of questions that the Commish needed to ask in order for any real information to be gathered. Problem was, his list was bogus. Did Tom Brady have knowledge of these tapes? How is Walsh, the typical "12th man on the deal team", gonna know that, and how is it even the least bit relevant?! Sal. The taping itself wasn't illegal, my man. It was where they did the taping that was the issue this whole time! It's people like Sal that have the public thinking that the fact alone that the Pats were taping was the problem here, when in reality, what's been lost in the shuffle, is that it wasn't the violation at all! I understand having a bias or a passion for a certain topic, but for the love of God at least focus on the actual matter at hand, instead of pushing your agenda, and confusing the Hell out of your average fan...


Arlen Specter (Pennsylvania Senator)
-Another bitter Eagles fan, but this one has been in it for the 15 minutes of fame all along. Why else would he delay his press conference after meeting with Walsh? He only did it to make sure he stepped to the podium during a midday media frenzy, rather than having his words buried on the back page if he had said his piece on Tuesday night. What a media whore. I got your "magic bullet" right here, you old, bitter bastard. Take your idea for an independent inquiry, shove it up your old, shriveled ass, and try worrying about some shit that can actually, I don't know, "help" your constituency? I hear the gas prices are a tad high, try takin' a look at that!


Most Of America
-Hours after the meeting, I read a poll on ESPN.com that said 62% of America thought that further action needed to be taken against the Patriots, and that SpyGate wasn't over by a long shot. Apparently nothing short of Belichick being suspended and the team being fined again is gonna please these people, and even that probably won't be enough. Listen. Just because the Pats were diligent enough to have 2 first round picks this year to soften the blow of their penalty, doesn't mean they weren't severely punished. And also. Just because you're team didn't get caught, and hasn't won 3 Super Bowls, doesn't mean you weren't also doing illegal ish behind the scenes...

All in all, the Pats got what they deserved and will have to live with what they did, but all the drama surrounding Matt Walsh has essentially been for not. The media has made a mess of it, and it's become as much a "well my dad is tougher than your dad" between fans, as it is actually about finding out the truth. That's just the way this shit goes...


OK then. While I try to do my best and put SpyGate in the rear view mirror (impossible), I'm moving on to a topic that's usually a lot more pleasant than my favorite team being accused of cheating. Usually...

Red Sox Update
Overall: 24-19, 2nd place in AL East 1/2 game behind Tampa Bay

-Never has a 4-6 road trip looked so bad. Not only did Boston lose a heart breaker to Detroit, and another to the Twins, but blowing 3 straight 3-0 leads to finish the trip up is just the ultimate kick in the junk. And unlike the 5 game losing streak to end April, this little stretch actually has me a bit concerned. Beckett got shelled after being spotted 3 against the O's and lost, Clay Buchholz is on the DL after splitting a fingernail ,and Jon Lester has been good, but seems to be hitting the wall pretty early in games for such a young arm. Add to that the fact that the Julio Lugo signing is looking more and more like we got a cracked out version of Edgar Renteria, and I can't blame Sox fans for being a little on edge. Good news is, it's only May 15th. Bad news is, it's May 15th, and Tampa is somehow in first place. Weird, shouldn't I be somewhere watching Who's the Boss with Steve Allen?...

-JD Drew getting hurt is about as reliable as the song selection in a Martin Scorese film. Now give the man some shelter, and get him the Hell off this team!

-And seeing as the hot topic in NY these days is the excessive celebration of reliever Joba Chamberlain, I have to say I have some issues with some of the actions of the Nation's favorite Sox. Between Kevin Youkilis getting upset over everything that's not a hit, and David Ortiz being the same way over every called strike he disagrees with, some of the Boston bats are earning well deserved reputations as arrogant crybabies. I'm all for perfection, don't get me wrong, but when Youk slams his helmet after grounding out to go 3 for 4, he's just asking for the next batter to get one right in his ear. Passion is one thing, but showing guys up is quite another. It's a fine line to walk, but it's one I'd like to see You and Papi try to toe a little better as the season drags on...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To

-The Feds revised charges against Barry Lamar Bonds this week, amending their indictment to now include 14 charges of perjury and 1 of obstruction of justice against the games all time home run leader. He really isn't being charged with anything more than he was before, it's just that now the indictment is a little more specific. I say if it makes him look more guilty, and it's furthering the process to get his acne covered, cow-roidin ass into the slammer, then I'm all for it. Time to reap, Barroid. Time to reap...


-I'm telling you right now to look out for the Yanks. Hank Steinbrenner called them out this week telling them to "earn their money", seemingly taking a page out of the old man's handbook. George used to do it to serve his own ego, but it always seemed to do more to rally the team around their manager, Joe Torre. Now with Girardi at the helm, I can only assume he'll take a page from his predecessors playbook and do exactly the same thing. Hank probably isn't clever or smart enough to actually start this series of dominoes going, but I think his latest childish outburst might actually have it's desired effect. It's like some sort of rich brat, whiny reverse psychology, and in years past, it's been just what slumping Yankee squads have needed. No reason to think it won't work this time as well...

-Just an update from last week on Indians lefty Cliff Lee. After 9 shutout innings in a no decision against the Blue Jays, Lee sits at 6-0 with an 0.67 ERA and 44 K's. Ya know, just in case you were wondering...

-And If you're really trying to get ahead on your future Cy Young research ,check out this article about the kid they're calling the next Dice K...

here: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=darvish


Now that baseball is out of the way, it's on to what's passing as news these days...and possibly a few notes...


News and Notes
-Allow me to officially crown the Detroit Pistons as the 2008 Eastern Conference Champions. They win a road game against the Magic, and Doc and the boys can't even beat the Hawks or Cavs on the road, period. And don't give me the "oh well home teams are 18-1 this in the second round". That one team was Detroit, and they did it in an elimination-type game without arguably their best player. This is the Pistons 6th straight trip to the Eastern Conference Finals, and by the look of the play in the Celtics/Cavs series, they'll have a shot at the best in the West for the 2008 NBA Title. What, you saying I'm a Pistons fans? Well if that's how you want to put it, then fine. Prediciton: I will cheer for my main man Sheed and the Pistons to beat Boston in the Eastern Finals (assuming the Green make it), and when they win, I will C-walk all over the Celtics grave. I'm not saying Boston should be ashamed by losing in the East Finals, mind you, I'm just saying that whatever has happened to them during their playoff run (Doc sucks, Doc sucks, Doc sucks) is gonna prevent them from even sniffing this year's NBA Finals. Just tell me, Glen Rivers PHD. Why are PJ Brown and Sam Cassell all of a sudden playing so much ,while my main man Ed House remains buried on the bench? Oh, that's right, because you are about as good a coach as I am a Mexican. Like I said when the Celts signed these guys. The only thing those additions were going to do, was mess up the great rotations Doc had going, give him too many options, and be the demise of the team that had an epic and awe inspiring regular season. I understand that the playoffs is a different "style" of ball with more intense defense. But Ed House and crew were the same guys playing when everyone said the C's were winning playoff-esque games like the road trip through Texas, and the games against Detroit. Basically, if his D wasn't hurting you that much then, what's to say it's gonna be the death of you now? Just sayin. And oh yea, the record speaks for itself...

Hey, I'm not a hater. I just call 'em like I see 'em. And right now, I see an experienced Detroit team clicking with a nice mix of veterans and youth, and an inexperienced Boston team playing like...well...playing like they've never been there before. Sheed and friends are gonna take it home, and the newly cround NBA exec of the year, Danny Ainge, is gonna have a long off season faced with the task of finding a new head coach...

Celts move on, but Detroit takes it in 6. Just remember, you heard it here first. Someone has to bring the truth, and it doesn't hurt that I get to root for Sheed while I'm doing it...


-Apparently I'm the only man on the planet to have seen "He Got Game" and "Blue Chips". Otherwise, how can I explain the public reaction to the latest USC scandal involving OJ Mayo? The kid had been associating with agents and luminaries ever since high school. Even then he was probably being paid. How else do you explain the fact that he played for 3 different high school squads in just 4 years when his family was allegedly dirt poor? Come on, we know how the system works. The agents find loopholes, give money to the amateur athletes, the school looks the other way while the player helps their squad, and everybody wins, right? Again, I understand ESPN has programming to fill, and an ex Mayo confidant as an apparent axe to grind, but to even blink when hearing this news would make you extremely naive. Hell, I didn't even see all the shit OJ was allegedly flashing around (car, plane tickets, plasma TV), and I just assumed that was what was going down. Kids like Mayo come with strings attached and every program that goes after them knows exactly what they're getting themselves into. Whether it's "boosters" slappin' them a hundy here and there (paging Rhett Bomar), or a "friend of the program" slippin' a few bennies in your mom's pocket, it's a common practice that's always gonna go on. You really wanna stop it, then you have to either pay the athletes, or watch over every program like the FBI. Personally, I wouldn't say I'm "pro", this kind of behavior, but I would have to say I think the system, however corrupt, is part of what makes college basketball so entertaining. It's what made the movies I mentioned so good (He Got Game is the ill), and it's part of what gives college hoops so much character. Punish USC to save face, but then go back to your successful strategy of turning the ever present blind eye...


-The Preakness is this weekend, and while I wish I had some hot tips for ya, anything I told you would basically be an outright lie. I didn't make dollar one in the Derby, and after Big Brown's impressive performance, I can't believe there's much money to be made in the 2nd leg of the Triple Crown anyway. He's going off at 1 to 2, and the only horse returning from the Derby to challenge the colt is Gayego, who goes off at 8 to 1. OK, maybe I fibbed a little. I actually do have a few tips for ya. I like Racecar Rhapsody breaking from the 6 pole at 30 to 1, and Icabad Crane, who'll break from slot 3 also at 30 to 1. Again, they're just the names I like, but since when has horse racing ever been about actual knowledge anyway? Keeping with tradition, I won't have nearly as many bets on the Preakness as I did in the Derby, but I'll still be looking to cash in. Here are two bets that I'm sure to make...

Trifecta
Win: Big Brown (1 to 2)
Place: Yankee Bravo (15 to 1)
Show: Behindatthebar (10 to 1)

Trifecta Box (the 3 horses need to finish 1-2-3 in any order)
Big Brown ( 1 to 2)
Racecar Rhapsody (30 to 1)
Icabad Crane (30 to 1)

Oh, and if I were to pick I horse that I think might die in this race, I'd have to go with Giant Moon. Again, no logic involved, it's just a name I can imagine in a post-race headline like "Another Giant Tragedy". Yeah, yeah I'm sick and twisted. Believe me, it's something I long ago came to terms with, and I suggest you do the same...

-Speaking of horses. If you still need proof that Hillary Cinton shouldn't be President? Well you shouldn't. Not after a resounding 73% of the registered Democratic voters in Meth Virginia chose her. Any state that has a voting system that consists of two jugs and a wad of chewing tobacco can't be trusted. Espcially when the other 27% of the voters voted for either Kevin Pittsnogle, the white Jason Williams, or Taylor Hicks (why do I know that name?). Pass the moonshine...

-I know I still might be the only person I know that watches poker on TV, but there's some news surrounding the 2008 World Series of Poker that might actually change that. This year's series, which will kick up at the end of the month, will now feature a Main Event final table that occurs in November, well after ESPN viewers have seen who the participants are, and will be aired live. This gives the network, and the players ample time to promote both themselves and the event, which in my eyes, will only make it that much more exciting.

-My last bit this week is a cool thing CNN.com has started doing. Go to the site and you'll see a new feature with some of it's more illicit headlines that allows you to immediately purchase that headline on a black or white t-shirt. Needless to say, my new hobby is checking in on CNN.com waiting for them to slip up, or waiting for a truly t-shirt worthy headline. Just think of the possibilities. A t-shirt that says "Bush: "Mission Accomplished". Or the one I saw today: "McCain Says Iraq War Won by 2013". Ha!. This is gonna be sweeeet...

And with that...I'm out like Flynt...

Thursday, May 08, 2008

You Can't Spell King Without K-G...

What it is, pimps? It's been a long week in the life of your favorite President, so instead of attempting to say something witty to kick things off, I'm just gonna dive right in. And what better place to start, than the Boston Celtics and their outright confusing run through the Eastern Conference playoffs...


News and Notes


-So a week ago I was talking about the C's being pushed to the brink by the upstart Hawks. And despite the fact that KG and friends currently hold a 1-0 series lead against King James and the Cavs, if I were a Celtics fan, I'd be more concerned than ever that my team was headed in the wrong direction. Not only could they not win a single road game against Atlanta, a team with the worst home-court advantage in the playoffs, but in their opening game against Cleveland, it took an heroic effort by Kevin Garnett to keep the Green from forking over the home court they worked so hard for 82 games to obtain. I know you can blame LeBron's poor performance on the stingy Celtic defense, which is a positive sign, but what do you make of the close outcome? They've yet to prove they can win in the playoffs on the road, and seeing as all their home wins against the Hawks were blowouts, the 4 point game 1 win just doesn't inspire confidence. It's obvious that Doc is having trouble with his rotation, and though I don't see the struggles of Paul Pierce and Ray Allen continuing (4 combined points in game 1), this team just seem to have the consistency to be able to make it to the next round, let alone the NBA Finals. With Sam Cassell playing so well in game 1, it's only bound to confuse Glen Rivers and force him into playing Sam I Am An Alien even more, and keep Rajon Rondo on the bench. Anyone that's watched this team this year knows they need Rondo in all aspects of the game, and while Sam did come up big, his lack of defense and rebounding was probably just as big a reason as to why the game was so close to begin with. I don't know, maybe all the teams are good now and I'm reading too much into this, but even with KG playing out of his tree, the Celtics can't expect to continue to win if they keep putting together lackluster efforts like we've seen so far. After all, this ain't the regular season anymore. And last time I checked, James Posey is the only man on the roster that's actually helped bring a ring home in the last decade. Time to step up...



-On the other coast, it seems to be nothing but good news for the Lakers, who saw Kobe Bryant bring home his first MVP award this week after completing his 12th season as a pro. Now I've never been a fan of Kobe Bryant the man, but even I know when to give credit when and where credit is due. And here it is. Congrats on your long overdue MVP, you alleged rapist! After all the people you've alienated/sexed up along the way, you really deserve it. You egomaniacle duechebag...

-And just to prove that I haven't gotten all soft when it comes to how I view the NBA, I have to react to that Chauncey Billups "3 pointer" during game 2 of Detroit's home game with the Orlando Magic. For those that missed it, at the end of the 3rd quarter, Detroit took the ball in and went the length of the court for a desperation 3 by Billups. Problem was, the clock "malfunctioned", and upon further review by all the media at court side (and anyone with 2 eyes and a brain), it was blatantly obvious that Billups didn't get the shot off in the time allotted. So there we were. The millions watching on TV and the thousands sitting court side, all of us knowing that the shot shouldn't have counted. But thanks to archaic NBA rules, even though the technology was readily available to them, the refs were UNABLE to review the play. To me, that's just embarrassing. If the NCAA has rules in place where they could review a play like that, then why doesn't the NBA?! And the league wonders why everyone thinks these games are fixed...

-Oh yea. Carmelo Anthony was cited for going 60 in a 45 just a week or two after being cited for DUI. Gooooooo Cuse! Hey, at least he wasn't goin' a buck-44 like DMX. Apparently those dogs don't stop. Not even for the po-neez...


Now that I've gotten the mandatory NBA ball-licking out of the way, it's time to take a look at some ish goin' down in sports I actually care about...

-First, let's talk about what went down during the 134th running of the Kentucky Derby. Not only did all my picks tank, but if it weren't for Eight Belles taking a mortal dive after the race had finished, the race itself would have been completely void of any drama, suspense or entertainment whatsoever. Fine, call me sadistic and cruel, but if that horse doesn't get killed right there on the track, then this latest installment of the Run for the Roses would have been as captivating as an episode of American Idol. In short, that race sucked, and if that horse didn't eat it, then I probably would be sitting here telling you how now I'm not even gonna bet on the Preakness. Now, I'm on the Web looking for lines involving the likelihood of another horse meeting it's maker on the track. Haven't found any yet, but trust me, if they're out there, I'll have some money on it...Oh, and I'll also have money on how many drinks Hank Goldberg will have before he and Kenny Mayne hit the air. Was that guy tanked or what?? I know that thing is a big party, but when you're gonna be on TV you should really heed a little more caution. Haven't Joe Namath and Rick Sutcliffe taught us anything??...

-While the fate of Eight Belles isn't something anyone in their right mind would wish on their worst enemy, I'm sure NFL sheriff, Roger Goodell was half thinking that he had such powers of euthanasia when it comes to some his players. Between Cedric Benson getting boozed up and tasered on his boat, the ongoing Adam Pacman saga, and ex-Cincy thug Chris Henry attempting to peddle his services to anyone that'll listen, Goodell has to wishing he had a magic needle that he could stick in those fools to send them to the great glue factory in the sky. Hey, I figure if he has the patience to wait all these guys out, chances are the league will be better for it, and so will penal league football teams all across the nation. I hear they have plenty of wide receivers in there.... huh?... huh?????...sorry...

-Former Patriots cameraman, Matt Walsh, has reportedly turned over 8 tapes to the NFL, none of which include the Pats taping the Rams during their pre Super Bowl walk through in 2002. According to several sources, the tapes include the Pats taping signals from various regular season games, and the '02 AFC Title game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. So, to reiterate. Walsh did not provide any new information, and even has his lawyer now saying that it wasn't even Walsh that leaked the "walk through" story to the Boston Herald when the news first broke. Hmmm. Then I wonder why a mole of mine inside the Pats said that Walsh was giddy when claiming he helped win the Super Bowl in a post game after party? Maybe Walsh is just a big tool, or maybe the Pats somehow found a way to cover all this up. I'd believe either or both, but right now it looks like Belichick and the Pats are going to escape without any further sanctions. I know Goodell said he would leave open the option of more penalties, but for what? Haven't' they already been punished for illegally taping signals? Or was that $750,00 fine and the loss of a first round pick simply the penalty for taping that one game against Mangina and the Jets? Guess we'll have to wait and see, but in my eyes, it looks like the Pats are gonna escape this possible debacle with just a few slaps on the wrist...

-And while my Players Championship edition Sports Illustrated arrived at my house, I refuse to believe there is a single golf tournament of note going on this weekend. Not only is the Players NOT golf's 5th major, but a tourney without Tiger Woods is like a tree falling in the woods without a Chinaman around to wonder if it made a freaking sound. Tiger Woods is golf, plain and simple. If you catch yourself watching the Players Championship this weekend, know this. You are a golf fan. And that is rather pathetic. I, on the other hand, am a Tiger Woods fan. Which is not only cool, but a solid sign that I know pimp when I see one. Without T-Money, watching the Players is like a vote for Hillary Clinton. A flat out waste of your time ,and a pretty good sign you might be gay...


Now, it's on to baseball. It's that time of year where managers start coming under fire and fan bases start to get restless. Summer must be right around the corner...

Red Sox Update
Overall: 22-14, 1st in AL East by 3.5 games

-Well another week, and another streak for the Sox. Hopefully this win 5/lose 5 tendency won't follow the team through the entire season, but I guess if they can do it at a 61% winning clip, then I won't have much of a reason to be disappointed...

-Practically a mirror image of the Sox season thus far, has been the streaky play of one David "Large Pepsi" Ortiz. After scaring the bejesus out of the notoriously reactionary Boston sports fan with his slow start, Big Papi has rebounded quite nicely over the last 10 days, hitting a robust .440 with 3 homers and 7 RBI. So, to date the slugger is sitting at .226 with 7 dingers and 27 runs batted in. Yes, that means all you fair weather fans that Mike Bibby called out can now exhale, and go back to blaming Terry Francona and Theo Epstein for everything wrong with Red Sox Nation. Me? I find it's easiet to blame JD Drew. I recommend trying it out. Very soothing...

-And arguably the best news to come out of Red Sox Nation in recent weeks has been the addition of the new on field reporter, the totally bonerific, Heidi Watney. In a move akin to the Lowe/Varitek for Heathcliffe Slocumb deal, NESN brought in H-Bomb, the former beauty queen, to replace the Eight Belles of the sports TV circuit, Tina Cervasio. This chick is dope, and the fact that she knows sports, and is replacing a woman that used to look like Mr. Ed, well, that's what I call a win freaking win baby!...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To
-It's always a sad site when you see you can't save someone from themselves ,but even more sad when the criminal justice system can't do the job for them. Case in point is the judge that ruled earlier this week that Roger Clemens can continue to retain the legal services of one, Rusty Hardin. So sad. Roger can't even realize that half is problem is Rusty Hardin. Listen here, Rocket. The only difference between you and Andy Pettitte, is that you and Rusty decided to come out like the Guns of the Navarrone. You're a mushroom cloud layin' mother fucker, mother fucker. Had Rusty told you to fess up and apologize, you'd be pitching right now, just like your buddy Andy, and every reporter with a hard on and a deadline wouldn't be trying to dig up shit about you and some beat early 90's Carrie Underwood. You and Rusty deserve each other, Rog. And it's clearer now than it's ever been. You're both goin' down with this ship. Only difference, is by the time it sinks, Rusty will be the one with all your money...

-Mystery solved as to why Alex Rodriguez was placed on the DL earlier this week. Turns out, it wasn't because of a leg injury ,as the Yankees claimed, but due to a severe case of metro-vaginitis. A-Fraud, who's wife apparently slipped him some Viagara when he was sleeping and somehow managed to get pregnant, actually passed out and hit the deck while his wife was in labor giving birth to the couple's second child. Haha what's the matter, Alex? Was it because it was the first time you'd ever seen snatch? OR was it that your simply a huge puss that can't handle a little ambiotitc fluid and afterbirth? Ewww. OK point taken. But you're still a fingernail painting fruit with purple lips...

-While I was at work producing the Yankee game on Tuesday night, the story dominating the MLB news wire was the no-hitter in progress by the White Sox young gun, Gavin Floyd. The only problem, was that while the no-no was still in progress, Floyd had already given up a freakin' run! Now I don't claim to be a no hitter expert, but what good is giving up zero hits if it doesn't guarantee that your team is gonna even win the game?! Wouldn't you rather have a pitcher giving up 10 hits, and walking the house like Dice K, as long as your team gets the W? I know I would. I guess it's just another classic example of the tradition and the history that goes along with baseball. It's always been more important than the actual play on the field, and apparently it always will be. People tell you it's a numbres game, but at the heart, it's really a game of history, meant to told as a story, as opposed to being read in a box score...

-And if you're looking for an early front runner for the AL Cy Young Award (and aren't we all losing sleep over it?), look no further than Cleveland's Cliff Lee. I had a front row "listen" to Lee last night when he pitched against the Yanks, and it only confirmed what my fantasy stats had been telling me all season long. This kid is flat out dominant this year. Lee came to Cleveland via the Bartolo Colon trade with Montreal (remember them?) in 2002, and outside of his 18-5 season in '05 has been dreadfully inconsistent. He followed that campaign by going 19-19 in just 49 starts over the next two seasons with an ERA over 5.00, and seemed destined to be one of those guys that would just flame out. Well not so fast my friend. To date, Lee is 6-0 with an ERA of 0.81 to go with 39 strikeouts in just over 45 innings. Even better, in a league where road wins are few and far between, Lee has proven invaluable, giving up ZERO earned runs in his road starts in 2008. Not too shabby for a guy that had to fight for his spot in the starting rotation during Spring Training...




Now to end this week's post, I'd like to chat about the recent topic on Bob Costas' HBO program, Costas now. This week, the midget media mogul held a debate about the legitimacy of blogging, and the overall change that the Intraweb and the computer have brought to the sports media business. In one corner, there was Will Leitch, a Godfather of the blogging community, and creator of Deadspin.com (link on the right). In the other corner, cursing and cussing at the mere thought of his son growing up in a world ruled by blogs, is noted author and columnist, H.G "Buzz" Bissinger. Buzz went on the record (and when I say cursing I mean like a sailor stricken with scurvy) as saying that the majority of bloggers with irresponsible hacks that were basically ruining the world of journalism that he holds so near and dear to his heart. Buzz, who's credits include the books "friday Night Lights" and "Gone With the Wind" (not the real one, the one about that other dead race horse), said that Internet writers are known for spreading falsehoods, not being informed, and in some cases flat out lying, simply because they don't have to accountable to anyone.

Now, while the man is certainly entitled to his opinion, he came off like someone that that still rides around in a horse and carriage, and uses words, not numbers, to tell his local operator the number he would like to reach on his rotary phone. Then, while riding to work, I heard WEEI's "The Big Show" with host Glen Ordway, basically agreeing with Buzz, while at the same time disagreeing with him (something the show is shamelessly famous for by the way). They talked about how, while there were good blogs out there, the only good ones were the ones that were written and monitored by big time organizations like ESPN, the Boston Globe, or the Boston Herald. They also said that while the majority of bloggers were just guys looking for their 5 minutes to bash a famous personality, the blogs that were simply people's opinions were the only ones they could barely stomach. Gee, thanks guys. I mean, whatever happened to doing all you could to make it in this business? Doesn't everyone have to start somewhere? God. Sounds to me like there's a group out there that's somewhat concerned about not so much what these bloggers are saying, but the fact that they can get their thoughts out there so easily, where in the past it took years of humpin' it in dead end towns before you made it big. Listen. Fact is, if you wanna be in the sports journalism business, and you're NOT blogging, then you're not doing your due diligence. Sure there are a lot of guys out there giving bloggers a bad name, but to lump them all in one neatly wrapped little package is just flat out ignorant. Especially from a bunch of guys that themselves are basically glorified "fans".

That's all this is, and that's all most entertainment blogs should be. These are my opinions. I pass them on to you because I think you'll find them witty, informative, and more or less, more enjoyable than whatever you were doing before you started reading it. It's here for you to make of it what you will. I'm not passing anything off as fact (other than the stats I use), and I go out of my way to tell you so. And if those in the major media have issues with what guys like me are doing, then you know what. We must be doing something right.

Support your man. I'm one of the good guys. And if you give me enough support, I'll get my chance to prove once and for all that bloggers aren't just tools that live in their mother's basements...Even though that's where I currently live...Eh, that's just a minor technicality...

Stay pimpin, kids. I know Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon tied the knot, and the Olypmic torch reached the top of Mt. Everest, but sometimes even the juiciest news get's left on the cutting room floor. Maybe next week...Catch you on the flip...