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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I Got a Proposition For Ya...

Well, folks, it's almost here. We're finally less than a week from the start of the Super Bowl, but seeing as I'm not quite ready to make my pick yet, I'm choosing to attempt to stimulate your minds with a bunch of other shit that's been goin' on in the lead up to the big game...

Super Bowl XLII


First thing that comes to mind, obviously, is the gambling aspect of Super Bowl 42. I could talk about Brady's health status, the soaring price of tickets (up to $4,300 on average at last check) or pre game strategy, but if you really wanna take a look at this stuff right now, you'd be better off gonig here http://www.patriots.com/ or http://www.scoreamfm.com/ . At those sites you can get all the press conference coverage you want, and on my station's site, you can follow along with Andy Gresh and Scott Zolak LIVE everyday this week from radio row in Phoenix from 2-7. That stuff is very interesting, don't get me wrong, but too much of it can be nauseating, and you know you can get all the important "quotes" when they trickle into the normal media cycle. I'll get that stuff to you later in the week if any of it proves to be relevant, but until then, let's chew on this...

It seems most people's favorite part of the Super Bowl, especially if "their team" isn't in the big game, is the gambling. Whether it's a straight up bet with a friend, those office pools with the squares, or a prop bet online or in Vegas, everyone wants to have some sort of action down on the big game. And let me tell you, with this game, the trouble isn't finding the action, it's finding the good bets to put the smart money on, and the insanely crazy bet to throw a little on, in hopes of winning the lotto. The following is a list of possible wagering opportunities, both crazy and normal, that you should consider droppin' some cakes on, should it happen to strike your fancy...

9 to 1
Wes Welker gets between 111-120 yards receiving

-It could turn out that Randy Moss again becomes the focus of the offense here in the Super Bowl, but should the G-Men decide to take him out like a lot of teams here late in the season, then it could turn into another big game, for little Wes. Think Deion Branch against the Panthers...

-300 money line
Kevin Faulk does not score a touchdown in Super Bowl XLII

-Hey, I love Faulk as much as the next guy, but the fact is he doesn't score nearly enough TD's to warrant this low money line. Sounds like tasty action to me...

+500 money line
Patriots to win the EA Sports Madden simulation before the game

-This is an easy one. The Pats dominate on paper, and that's all this thing is based on. Steep line, I know, but when it's a sure thing, you just have to choke down the lousy odds, grow a few stones, and slap down the scazole...

Over 5
How many times Joe Buck will mention Peyton Manning's name during the broadcast

-Do I even need to give a reason?? Slam-a-lama...ding dong! I just had to double check and make sure this line wasn't just for the 1st quarter...

+800 money line
Victoria's Secret will have the highest rated TV commercial

-In all honesty, this is a rather unlikely occurrence with all the power guys like Bud, Pepsi, Coke and various other fly-by-night Intraweb companies can bring, but anytime I get odds like this when dealing with hot babes in lingerie, I'm takin' 'em, and not asking any freakin' questions! Budweiser is the favorite in this category, taking bets at -200...

over 1 minute 42 seconds
How long it will take Jordyn Sparks to sing the National Anthem

-I love taking the anthem bet, and seeing as I think all these "entertainers" are grand-standing, egomaniacs, I figure they always go over. Hey, I know I'd be hammin' it up and grabbin' as much of the spotlight as I possibly could. I just wanna know when one of them gets smart enough to throw a ton of loot on this thing, and rakes in a ton of loots! I know all bookies put a small cap on a lot of prop bets, but still! It's not that hard to make it happen, people!

+140 money line
Tom Petty will sing "Runnin' Down a Dream" to end his halftime show performance

-It fits with the theme of the Pats run to perfection, and it's a rockin' jam. I see him startin' it up with maybe "American Girl", workin' in a few remixes with maybe a special guest or two, and then closin it out with this. "Free Falling" is the favorite at -150, with "Learnin' to fly" the longshot at +1200...

Peyton Manning -2
Eli's # of completions vs the 25 Peyton had in last year's Super Bowl

-So, Eli needs 23 completions, huh? I won't say this is any sort of lock, but there's no way I see Eli lighting it up, so I'll take this low number and hope for the best...

10 to 1
Brandon Jacobs to win Super Bowl XLII MVP

-I figure, if the Giants win, Jacobs is gonna be a major reason why, at least on the offensive end. More or less, I didn't like any of the odds for the guys I wanted to take ( Brady: 1 to 2, Moss: 4 to 1, Welker: 5 to 1), so pretty much I sided with the bet with the best "odds vs talent" guy available. Granted, my MVP should be on the winning team, but should the unthinkable happen, I like to at least have a possible silver lining to fall back on, if not only monetarily...

4 to 1
Plaxico Burress will have the longest pass reception of the game

-Randy Moss is the best deep threat playing in the game on Sunday, but Plax get's more targets, and therefore gets my pick. Eli likes going up top to Plax, so at least this bet can keep me in the game even til the final seconds...


So there you have it. Everyone loves to bet on the Super Bowl, everyone loves crazy prop bets and now you can satisfy both those vices by plopping your money down right where I advised to put it. As for my pick on the actual game, never fear. I'll have my special Super Bowl tease locked and loaded on Friday, so make sure to come back and check it out...

Until then, I'll leave you with this surreal video made in support of the Patriots before they got clocked by the Bears in Super Bowl XX. Is it me, or does it look like these guys went straight from a kid touching seminar, and right into the recording booth? OH, and Pats fans can officially stop wondering why people don't like them after they take a look at this disaster...

...on second thought, I'd like to apologize to the alleged petafiles. Apparently, the clothes they're wearing in the video (which gave me reason to call them kid touchers) were perfectly hip in the 1980's. I mean, if it was cool enough for Eddie Murphy and Rick James, then who the Hell am I to argue?! Then again...cocaine was one Hell of a drug...

News and Notes
As most of them will be from this point forward, this weekend in college hoops was very entertaining as well as very educational. In essence, great weekends like this embody exactly what the student athlete experience should be all about, right? You learn shit, you play some hoops, and then you go drink your face off with a bunch of scantily clad co-eds, right? It's a beautiful thing. But when these guys aren't starring in homemade "Girls Gone Wild" clips, and hittin' the books with their favorite tutor/test taker + paper writer, they actually manage to get a few games in there. Here are some notes of what I took away from the games I scoped out this weekend.

-I gave the Indiana Hoosiers the kiss of death on Friday when I said I would be talking about how good they were in my next post. I still believe in the power of freshmen Eric Gordon and senior forward DJ White, but droppin' a home game to a depleted UCONN team didn't exactly do much to enstill confidence. When Jim Calhoun has to suspend two of his top scorers for an alcohol violation, from a team that's not very deep anyway, and you still let them beat you in your own place, it's not a good sign. For now, chalk it up as just a bad game, but should IU continue to slide, we can point to this game as the jumping off point...

-Fresh off beating conference rivals Dayton and UMASS by an average of 24 points this week, the Xavier Musketeers have established themselves as the team to beat in the Atlantic 10. What was once a conference that seemed destined to get 4 or 5 teams into the dance, the A-10 squads have struggled a bit of late as they've begun to beat each other up. Good thing for Xavier, is they're the ones doing the beating. Led by former Oklahoma point guard Drew Lavender, they run an uptempo style game, game defend on the ball, and can streak shoot like no body's business. Sounds like your run of the mill Xavier team, and those teams always screw up brackets come tourney time...

-Don't look now, but the two time defending National champion Florida Gators are back in the rankings at #19, with a white hot bullet. Virtually written off for dead after sending all their talent to the NBA last season, the Gators stormed into the polls this week after trouncing #13 Vandy by 22, and improving their impressive record to 18-3, and 5-1 in the SEC. Funny thing is, is that despite that convincing W, it wasn't enough to push Billy Donovan and the boys head of Vandy in the latest National polls. Gee, and you wonder why I question their validity. To give you the 4-1-1, as the kids say, these new look Gators are led by 6'6" freshman swingman Nick Calathes (16 ppg / 5 rpg / 6 apg) and 6'10" sophomore big man Marreese Speights (above) (14.1 ppg / 7.9 rpg). They may be young, but they're deep and they're hungry, and that's always a dangerous combo...

Here are the big tilts to watch for this week. Hey, picture it as a way to quell your boredom until the weekend starts...

Tuesday
none

Wednesday
Kansas @ Kansas St.
Villanova @ Pittsburgh
Memphis @ Houston
Vanderbilt @ Mississippi
Creighton @ Drake
Texas @ Texas A&M
Syracuse @ DePaul

Thursday
Boston College @ North Carolina
North Carolina St. @ Duke
Arizona St. @ UCLA
Providence College @ Notre Dame

There's the lowdown in the world of college basketball, and in case you forgot, I have my top 10 posted on the right from Friday morning. Watch these games, and get back to me...

Just when we were all setting into a Patriot-like grove with the Boston Celtics, they go and throw a bunch of wrenches right into the finely tuned machine that had been their season. After starting the season at a blistering 29-3 clip, the C's have gone 5-5 over their last 10, a time span that has seen Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett miss time due to injury. The problem here is, you can't possibly overreact when a team finally comes back down to earth, and the truth in the NBA is that injuries do happen. That being said, my main concerns going into the season were depth, age (or being prone to injury), and lack of a good coach. Well, my amigos, after watching the play of this team over the last 3 weeks or so, I can soundly say that all my fears, while not necessarily realized, have definitely risen to the surface. The depth issue has been brought to the forefront mostly with the injury to Rondo. I know you can't really have depth to replace guys like Ray and KG, but having a reliable back up point guard is something that this time is in desparate need of, whether Rondo is healthy or not. I love Eddie House and Tony Allen as much as the next guy, but neither is anything remotely resembling an NBA point guard. As for Ray and KG, while you can't chalk those injuries up to lack of depth, you can attribute them to these being old, and having a ton of minutes under their legs. I'm sure they will come back healthy, and sooner rather than later (as Ray is already back on the court), but it just goes to show that when you're dealing with older guys like this, it can all be a house of cards. Again, I'm not saying Ainge and crew would have been better off holding on to Al Jefferson, it's just that this is the risk you take when you put all your eggs in a basket that's a few years away from an AARP card.

The plus side to this time of flux, is that it will give guys like Glen Davis and Leon Powe time to
actually contribute in crunch time, which should give them valuable experience come playoff time. As for the weak coaching I mentioned earlier? Well, I can never resist a chance to take a shot at my boy Glen "Doc" Rivers, so seeing as the team is in the midst of the worst streak they'll probably have all season long, I figured he has to somehow be blamed. I have no recent evidence to point to this, mind you, but at this point, I'm pretty sure he's already laid out a rather convincing argument that he's a tard of a coach, and is not to be trusted with such a talented squad. I guess only time can prove me right on that one, so good thing we got plenty of it left...

One guy that I can virtually guarantee won't have any injury or chemistry issues this year, is my main man Tiger Woods. It's been a mere minutes since Tiger blitzed the field by 8 shots to take his 4th straight Buick Invitational, but already the talk has begun on how good a chance he has at capturing all 4 Grand Slam titles in 2008. Personally, I think it's "realistic" that Tiger wins the Grand Slam every year, and the fact that he dominated at the Buick for a 4th year in a row does nothing to sway my opinion. He's the best player in the World, and while there are other great players out there, the only person that's going to keep him from winning all 4 major titles this year, is Tiger Woods. In my eyes, that makes it just another year on the PGA Tour. Go Tiger, I'm rootin' for ya buddy!

Speaking of guys that are often in the mix when it comes to racially charged sports commentary, I give you the new blog of one Stephen "A" Smith. As deadspin.com has so poignantly pointed out, the funny thing about this isn't that this blog exists, but that the people commenting on "A's" stories are utterly hysterical. Here's a sampling of a few. Mind you, the commenting apparently got so out of control (racist and just pure hatred for all things Stephen A.) that a filter needed to be put in to stop some of the less resilient lunatics. Still, this shit managed to make it through. I say bravo to you, fine sirs...Bra-Vo...


Remember that time you said the Chargers should kick a field goal on third down because if you miss, you can just kick it again on 4th down? That was awesome. I hope this blog is that awesome too.

To subscribe to the Offline version of this blog do I need to do anything besides unplug my Internet connection?

Loud, does not equal insightful.

As for politics, we shall gladly take your advice and vote for Hillary, Barack and McCain. But we all know the best candidate has not declared candidacy yet. You! And Isiah Thomas for VP!!

Quite frankly, those are some damn funny comments, but unfortunately, they aren't nearly as funny as this...






Now, I won't hate on the guy for having a blog, for obvious reasons, but I will hate on him for using it as a "last resort", while many of us use it as a kind of "stepping stone". It's kind of like Dennis Miller going from Monday Night Football, to some late night show on Versus. Face it, "A". People are sick of hearing you yell at other peeps, sick of hearing you talk about how much everyone sucks, and plainly put, they're just sick of you. You're shtick is old, and you had your 15 minutes. Get your big mouth off my TV, off my radio, and get the Hell off my world wide web!! This is my media entity, bitch! And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit back and let you give an even worse name to something I personally hold in rather high regard!

And ya know, not to get all political on ya, but I have some thoughts on the presidential race as it sits right now. Going into this thing, I thought that former NYC mayor, Rudy Giuliani, had a good chance at winning the Republican nomination. As time's gone on, here, and primaries have been held, Rudy's been getting left in the dust, and it's had me confused. How is a guy, who seems to be loved all over the country, getting his ass kicked so thoroughly be a war veteran, a Mormon, and even a guy from Law & Order?!?! Well, my friends, mystery solved. When you have guys like this speaking on your behalf, it's no wonder you can't get any freakin' votes. At least all the flip-flopping frauds withe lisps will be voting for him...

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4166296&affil=wlne

Pretty weak, Johnny. You were once the representation of the "everyman", and now you're taking time out of your Cristal bath to stump for a Republican? Oh how the mighty have fallen. Learn to speak, you dumbass. Until then, get off my TV, and stop ruining people's chances at winning a race for public office!

Oh, and I heard the NHL All-Star game was played on Sunday, but I'm still checking with my sources. As of right now, I can neither confirm or deny that A) that league still exists or B) that game actually took place. Hey, man. Sometimes that tree falls in the woods, and you're inside rippin' bingers and watchin' TV. Dems da breaks...

That's all I got for today, boys and girls, but there's plenty more where this came from come Friday morning, so make sure to come back. I'll have a final score prediction and a complete breakdown for the Super Bowl, my new college hoops top 10, and tons of other entertaining shit to help get you ready for a fantastic weekend...Ciao...

Friday, January 25, 2008

The Anticipation is Killing Me!



What's pimpin' homies? I know if you're anything like me (and you should be thanking your lucky stars if that's the case), you're quickly realizing how utterly boring the week before the week before the Super Bowl can actually be. So, in lieu of boring you with a bunch of long, rehashed, stupid stories, I decided to simply shorten those stories, and make them as humorous as I can. Call them "notes" if you'd like, but whatever they are, they're my thoughts on what I've been hearing about the game so far. For lack of a better term, it is what it is, and with two weeks before this freakin' thing, it's gonna take all I got to go postal in anticipation. Gross. And I just puked a little in my mouth thinkin' about how many times the cameras are gonna pan to Peyton and Archie up in the press box during the game. Play this damn thing already, or I'll have to keep diggin' up pointless fluff like this...

-I'm not sayin' Eli Manning is Joe Namath, but seeing as Deadspin.com has already eluded to it, and provided a funny photos to compare, I'm gonna run with it. They both play for a team from New York, they both aren't nearly as good as their supporters might have you believe, and they both went into Super Bowls as the biggest underdogs of their time. Oh, and they have both been captured in their dim-witted, drunken hick glory...

-Seems that when San Diego center, Nick Hardwick, called Richard Seymour a "dirty" player, it encouraged the rest of the league to chime in on the Pats and their playing etiquette. Now Osi Umenyiora is saying how if Matt Light thought the Pats might play the Giants again, he may not have pulled some of the cheap shit he did in week 17. My words, not his, but the point was the same. Listen, ladies. Cheap shots and "extra curricular" play is as much a part of the NFL as traveling is to the NBA. It happens...a lot. And while it might be against the "rules," it's just a part of the game you either need to get used to it, or find yourself another occupation. I'm not sayin' Seymour isn't dirty, but I'm sayin' it's part of the game. It might not be very "sportsmanlike," but it's just the way it is, so quit your bitchin.' When he gets fined, I'll listen...

-A lot has been made about how both Bill Belichik and Tom Coughlin were assistants under Bill Parcells, and how both use what the Tuna taught them in different ways. Hey, if trying to find a connection between these two will somehow make this game a little more interesting for ya, then by all means let the hunting begin. Me? I say just because they both worked for Parcells, doesn't mean shit. Sure he taught them some stuff, but both have had long careers since, and blatantly have different coaching styles. I like making comparisons and finding common traits as much as the next guy, but spare me this argument for the next week+ if you could...


-One guy who isn't lookin' so bright right now, is former Giants running back, and current "alleged heterosexual," Tiki Barber. Barber made no bones about the fact that Coughlin was the reason the Giants weren't better, and Coughlin was the reason he was choosing to retire. Good call on that one, man. Looks like your dumbass was the problem. And now that the G-Men are in the big game, I'm glad you have to sit there and analyze it on TV. Suck on those sour grapes you cheesy bastard...


-In the shock of the Super Bowl so far, Bill Belichick refused to address Tom Brady's alleged ankle injury at his Thursday press conference, instead telling the public they will have to wait 'til the injury report comes out on January 30th. This story needs to go away, anyway. Hurt or not, he's gonna play. IF it effects the Pats, it won't be good, but to think it's really all that serious based on what we've seen so far, is total overreaction...

-Oh, and you know who seems to be sliding through the cracks right now, is Randy Moss. With all the attention being heaped on all this other stuff seems to have given Moss the opportunity to lay low, and avoid questions about his little "consensual horseplay" incident. I mean, it's not like it won't be a focus during media week of the Super Bowl, but at least for now it seems the reporters have just let it go...


-OK, here's the final note...for now. Sports Illustrated's, "Dr. Z" is choosing the Giants to win the Super Bowl based on the fact that he regrets not betting on the Jets in Super Bowl III, despite having a strong hunch that they were gonna win. Yeah, great analysis, Doc...or should I just call you "Glen Z"? Now I see how you picked the Dolphins to win the Bowl two seasons ago. I know, I pick with my gut too, but when you're supposed to be representing logic like he claims to, then that justification is just asinine. Sounds like yet another valedictorian from the prestigious Hollywood Upstairs Medical College!


Now, my friends, it's time to get into a sport that's actually playing games this weekend, and that's NCAA basketball...

Right off the bat, I wanna let you guys know about the new ish I got goin' on with my College Hoops Top 10. Not to worry, it will still be updated once a week, but now it will also be posted all week long on the sidebar of my site, right next to the tunes and other fun stuff I got goin' on over there.


As for the goings on in the actual games lately, I'm stickin' with the "list" theme, and just firin' a few thoughts out there. Lazy? Maybe. Still pimpin'? You know thisss.......man!


-I've been pumpin' Baylor, and I've been pumpin' Drake, for a good chunk of this season already. All I wanna know is, where's the freakin' love, people? I get one shout-out from Frosco because I warned Butler about Cleveland State?! I know my awe inspiring prowess is intimidating, but you have to remember that I'm only as good as you think I am, so start giving me my freaking love already!


-To continue giving myself props, I wanna congratulate the national polls for finally recognizing the Memphis as the best team in the country. Welcome to the party, fellas. There's still some chips, but I done drank the dranks, and pimped out all the womenses.


On a serious note, this Saturday has an ass load of big games (all big games below), and even has the feel of a late season tourney bubble type battle. A lot of teams in the bigger conferences are at crossroads right now where a win means 2-3, and still in the hunt, and a loss means 1-4, and a serious uphill battle. Watching teams play when the chips are down can give you a great feel of how a team will play in the pressure of the NCAA tournament.



Granted, most of what I just said really wasn't "information" at all, but what you'll see next is the straight truth! I'll have more info on Tuesday about teams and players to keep an eye on this year. You never know, maybe I'll say that DJ White (above) and super frosh Eric Gordon could be a magical tandem for Kelvin Sampson and the Hoosiers. You'll just have to wait and see. For now, you can bask in the glow of the REAL top 10. I hope you enjoy...

College Hoops Top 10
1. Memphis (18-0) 1
2. Kansas (19-0) 4
3. UCLA (17-2) 2
4. North Carolina (19-1) 3
5. Indiana (17-1) 7
6. Tennessee (16-2) 5
7. Duke (16-1) 8
8. Washington St. (16-2) 6
9. Georgetown (15-2) 9
10. Butler (18-2) NR

just missed: Mississippi, Pittsburgh, Xavier, Drake, Kansas St.

dropped: (10) Mississippi


Saturday
Gonzaga @ Memphis
Washington St. @ Arizona St.
Georgetown @ West Virginia
Notre Dame @ Villanova
UCONN @ Indiana
Texas A&M @ Oklahoma St.
Oklahoma @ Baylor
Mississippi @ Mississippi St.
Wisconsin @ Purdue
Texas Tech @ Texas
DePaul @ Marquette
Iowa St. @ Kansas St.
Virginia Tech @ Boston College
Creighton @ Southern Illinois

Sunday
Xavier @ UMASS
Clemson @ Miami
Vanderbilt @ Florida
Duke @ Maryland
Providence College @ Syracuse

Monday
Saint Mary's @ San Diego
Oklahoma St. @ Oklahoma
Louisville @ UCONN

So make sure to watch those games...and while your at it, keep an eye out for weird shit like this...

News and Notes
*By now I'm sure some of you have heard this story, but to those that haven't here it is. Seeing as this guy has already explained the gist of it, I'll let him take it away. So go for it, weirdo...





For those of you not cool enough for video or sound, the guy in the video was commenting on ESPN's Dana Jacosbon and her remarks at the Mike & Mike Celebrity Roast in Atlantic City last week. A liquored up Jacobson, with a bottle of Belvedere in hand, was "roasting" Mike Golic when she said didn't give a fuck about Notre Dame. Fuck touchdown Jesus! And Fuck Jesus!...or something very close to those exact words. Hahahaha, WOW. I mean, it's enough that this broad already looks like a linebacker, but to know that she's drinkin' and talkin' like one to boot, makes me think I've been right on the money about her all along. By that I mean she's either a lesbian, which is fine, or a possible fem-dude, which is not cool at all. Either way, I think her rant was hysterical, if only for the fact that she got suspended for a week from First Pizza, and for that matter, for proving that pretty much the only people that like Notre Dame, are the people that went to that loser factory. Good work, "Dan," you're now officially one of the coolest guys I know...

Oh, and even better was the comment posted right below the video on YouTube which read...


"here's the OUTRAGE of the day: people actually believe in a mythical bearded jew with magical powers."




Hahahaha, oh man. Hey, everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs and I'm not tryin' to hate on religion, but I know funny when I see it, and that comment is funnier than...well it's funnier than pretty much anything that's not this...







I know, it would be cooler if it were the actual show footage, but it's still pretty damn funny. It's damn random, too, but i always mention the episode to people, and they never remember it, so I think this is a win-win solution for us all! Two birds. One stone. And now, two dead birds...



*In the shock of the year (sarcasm), notorious whitey-basher and Syracuse graduate, Jim Brown, is upset at how Tiger Woods has reacted in the wake of this whole "lynching" situation. "He should have come out right away. Instead, he waited until it was politically correct [to comment]," said Brown, who in my eyes is to athletics what Al Sharpton is to politics. The guy likes comin' out of the woodwork, and givin' interviews with his little beanie on, every time he thinks his race has been done an injustice. Dude, give it a rest already. I know there is still a ton of racism and prejudice in the world today, but you're gonna need to pick better battles than this! The use of the word "lynch" by the Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman, was not some blatant example of racism, it was a careless mistake, that she should have been and was punished for. Not to be confused, Jim, with the return of slavery, and the ripping up of the equal rights amendment! Tiger recognized that she misspoke, and anyone who actually heard the comments as they were, knows that she was trying to improvise, and just used the wrong phrase. Plain and simple. The reason Tiger didn't react, was because he understood the situation, took into account all the factors involved, and made a rational decision. Guys like Jim Brown, and many members of the media, have treated this like a game of telephone. You know, you start sayin' one thing, but it comes out somethin' else? Well, if all those people did their due diligence, and actually watched the "lynching" audio clip, and took the comments as they were, then this whole topic would be as dead as...


*Yea, poor taste I know, but I really did want to comment on the death of Heath Ledger before it was no longer news, and that was the most creative way I could think of doing it. OK, that really wasn't cool at all, and I apologize! I don't want to make light of death, believe me, but again, it's that thing about knowing funny when I see it. And that segway was funny, dammit! Anyway, I actually like Heath Ledger, and I think it's a shame that he passed away this week. Mostly it's because he banged Michelle Williams (see: supple rack above), who I always wanted to do when she was that trashy chick on Dawson's Creek, but I still think he was a good actor. Another star, who went well before his time. (notice I didn't assume he OD'd on drugs? makes up for the shit I said about him earlier...boom! ...even steven!)



*And in an attempt to go out on a much brighter, yet just as juvenile note, I am asking that the people at ESPN to PLEASE stop running that Brady Bunch thing they came up with in 2001. It was barely amusing at the time because it was such an obvious gag, and now it's just encouraging people to try and kill Tom Brady, the cast of the Brady Bunch, and the sick bastards that chose to produce this thing and run it nonstop for like the last week. Next time you tools at ESPN think about airing this thing, or putting a similar video package, heed my advice instead. Get a hobby. If that hobby happens to be drinking bleach or bathing with toasters, well then that'll be chill by me too...


Hope some of you got to hear me this week on Gresh and Zo, 9 to noon, on Sports Radio 99.7 & 790 The Score as I was pimpin' on my local SportsCenter updates. If you didn't, don't worry. I plan on dominating the industry someday, so you'll have plenty of other chances in the months, years and dare I say decades to come....Stay up...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

"I'm Like a Phoenix, Rising From Arizona!"


Damn, I'm smart! Was I on the money about all Conference Championship games being blowouts, or what? Well, know this. Even if I was wrong, I'm sure I can think of great reasons why, and maybe even convince you that I was really right all along! Don't think I can? Well, there's only one way to find out, now, isn't there?...

To kick things off, I'm obviously going to talk about Brett Favre and the Packers. Oh, wait, you mean that pill poppin' loser threw his like, 1 millionth pick and blew the game? Alright. Well, in that case, I guess I'll start with the now 18-0 New England Patriots.

To be honest, the game didn't go anything like I thought it would, but I'm still happy with the win nonetheless. Brady played very un-Brady like with his 3 picks, but thanks to great performances by the much maligned defense, and emerging weapon Laurence Maroney, fans were spared the ultimate letdown, and New England will test their perfection at their 4th Super Bowl appearance in the last 7 seasons. While it was surprising to see Brady struggle, especially in the red zone, it was a true testament to this team that they could basically overcome all that and win "without" the league's Most Valuable Player. Maroney was able to tote the rock for an impressive 122 yards on 26 carries, and Kevin Faulk and Wes Welker kept the chains moving in the passing game despite the fact that Brady struggled to connect with both Randy Moss and Ben Watson. Perhaps if the Chargers weren't as dinged up, they might have been able to pull this one out, but between Rivers valiantly hobbling around on his surgically repaired leg, and LT sitting on the sidelines in a cape (still not sure why he took himself out of the game), it was just too much for them to overcome. Now, it's on to Arizona for Brady and the Pats, where they will take on sudden phenom Eli Manning and the New York Giants.

As for all the smack I figured the Chargers would talk on the field, it took almost a full 24 hours after the game had ended for a San Diegan to get a shot off. In fact, it wasn't Philly Rivers, LT or even Shawne Merriman takin' cracks this time, it was oddly slender center Nick Hardwick. Hardwick called out Richard Seymour in an expletive filled tirade, saying the All-Pro was a dirty player, and the Pats defense was actually better when Jarvis Green was on the field. Now I have to admit, I did see Seymour take a few cheap shots during the game, but for Hardwick to open his mouth the way he did, just proves that he's a whiny baby, and a sore loser. You lost the game, man. If you want revenge, get it on the field. Otherwise, shut your hole and enjoy your golf...

Oh, and as for Brady being spotted in a walking boot on Monday while visiting Giselle in New York, I'm not gonna let myself worry about that for at least another week, and I recommend you all take the same approach. Let the New York media do what they must to hype up this game, because it's only gonna end up hurting their own squad. Like those vulchers even care who wins...



Also, who the Hell kept calling Dan Marino on his cell phone during the CBS halftime show? For that matter, why did he have his phone on?! I get mad when people call me when I know I told them I'm workin', but I think if you're on TV, and your boys are still dialin' ya up, then they're prolly about as smart as Isiah Thomas, and you should really consider removing all sharp objects from their reach. Dan, shut off your phone. Dan's idiot friends, lay off the blow and stop calling Dan. When he's done with work, he'll come bail you out of prison. Until then, you're just gonna have to sit there in that cell, and let that big guy in the corner stare you down while he licks his lips and makes threatening pelvic thrusts in your general direction. Give me your cocktail......FRUIT! Wait. I bet it was Finkle on the phone...or was it Einhorn? I always get those two mixed up anyway...somethin' about the world's largest hemorrhoid...

OK. So obviously I'm gonna talk about the great game that went down between the Giants and Packers, but first and foremost, I demand to know what in the name of sweet baby Jesus happened to Tom Coughlin's face over the course of that game?! I mean, I know it was cold, but why was it that he was the only tard that looked like he'd tried that hand burning experiment from Fight Club on his entire face? Dude, wear a mask, wear a head wrap, or coat your entire mug with Vaseline, I don't care. Just don't stand there, with your face basically falling off, and scare the living shit out of all of us watching the game in High Def!

Good, so that's out of my system. As for the actual game, Brett Favre blew it, and Eli Manning continued his recent trend of "not" blowing it. I'm still not really on the Eli bandwagon, so while I won't say that he won the game for the surprising Giants, I feel perfectly comfortable saying Brett Favre was the main reason Green Bay won't be playing in Arizona in two weeks. Favre looked like the one that wasn't used to the weather, or the pressure, going only 19 for 35, and throwing a gross, game clinching interception in overtime. And if it wasn't Favre blowing the game for the Packers, then it was definitely head coach Mike McCarthy. I understand that he feels Al Harris and Charles Woodson can cover any WR in the league 1-on-1, but when it becomes obvious that's not true, you need to make an adjustment! Letting Plaxico Burress treat Al Harris as his whipping boy, simply so you have a better shot at stopping the run, obviously wasn't working! Time after time, Plax bitch slapped Harris, tugged on his dreds, and hauled in another chain moving catch. It just didn't make sense that they never made a change! I stand by this statement. Green Bay didn't LOSE the NFC Championship, but the Giants didn't WIN that thing either. The Giants let a bunch of opportunities pass them by, not the least of which were Lawrence Tynes two missed game winning field goals, and the Packers flat out played like ass. The result, thankfully, was a close game that was at least fun to watch, but if you think that either of those teams deserved to win that game, then you're probably also picking the G-Men to take down the Pats in the Super Bowl. Simply put, you're delusional.



And when it comes to Eli Manning, apparently I'm the only one who hasn't been absolutely blown away by his playoff performances. I mean, I'm all for the giving the guys props for not turning the ball over, but I actually read in a recent ESPN.com poll that better than 50% of the country thinks the guy is the playoff MVP, and all I hear in the media is how great he's been the last 5 weeks or so. Am I missing something, here? He has increased his completion percentage to a respectable 63%, and he does have 4 touchdowns and ZERO interceptions, but I see that as not sucking, as opposed to lighting the world on fire. Based on the reaction, you'd think the guy threw three touchdowns and 400 yards to help the G-Men rally past the Pack, not that he went 21-40 with no scores. Maybe I'm undervaluing Eli, but looking at his numbers I find that highly unlikely. The Giants are a team based on running the ball on offense, and pressuring the QB with their great front 7 on defense. If Eli can go about his business, handing the bean off, and not making mistakes, it will certainly serve the Giants well. But to give him credit for simply "not sucking" doesn't cut it in my book. Has he improved of late? Of course he has. But has the performance over the last month caused me to stand up and take notice to how good a QB he is? Definitely not. If the Giants have any shot, he'll have to play mistake free, but don't think that his play will by any means be a difference maker in Super Bowl XLII, unless the G-Men get blown out, in which case his play will have most likely been the reason...



I'll get to plenty of Super Bowl talk over the course of the next two weeks, but I figure if I don't start off slow, I might burn out faster than the batteries in Rosie O'Donnell's "girlfriend." And we wouldn't want that now, would we?


Last Week: 0-2-0

Overall: 65-47-6 (.577)

New and Notes
Now with two weeks to wait until the Big Game, it leaves plenty of time for me to really sink my teeth into the college basketball scene. Sure I'm psyched for the Super Bowl and the Patriots certain romp to glory, but I can only take so many Tom Brady interviews, and Eli-Peyton comparisons. And if your smart like I am (or as humanly close one can get to my level of intellect), you'll use that down time to get up to speed on the evolving season, and start gettin' your act together for the Big Dance in March.

There was a lot of action this weekend, as media #1 UNC took a dive, and joined the likes of UCLA, Washington St., and Georgetown as top tier teams to recently lose, but I wouldn't consider any of the losses "eye openers." Fact is, teams lose games, and just because a few UNC fans cried when their Heels finally succumb to their first defeat, doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. What those pussies don't realize, is that losses like this can often help a team, and in this case, I feel it was a good wakeup call for North Carolina as they move forward. Now they know they can't take any team for granted, and that they are gonna be getting the best effort their opponent can offer on any given night. Wake up calls like that can often be beneficial for a team, and we'll see soon enough whether this is a sing of things to come for these squads, or just your run of the mill bump in the road...

Being the nice guy I am, not only have I lightened the load by telling you all which games to keep an eye on, but I'm even going out of my way to give you a heads up on some teams so you won't be left scratching your head when they pop up on your office bracket. After all, it's always the teams nobody knows that end up pulling the upsets, right? You know your gonna wanna pick one of these sketchy schools for an upset or two, so I figure you might as well want an actual idea of how the team plays, rather than just telling peeps you picked them to win because they have a funny name, or a mentally unbalanced mascot. Here's the lowdown on a few squads that as of now, look like possible "bubble" teams that could by mysteries to most come tourney time. Granted, these teams have long roads ahead of them before they can slip on their dancin' shoes, but it's never to early to start your research when a possibly payday is on the line. Check 'em out...

DePaul Blue Demons (8-9, 4-2 Big East)
I know it might sound odd for a team that I have as "under the radar" to be from the mighty Big East, but going 4-7 out of conference will tend to throw you on the bubble pretty quick. However, when I take a look at DePaul's schedule, I like their tourney chances if they can hang tough for 10 wins in the Big East. Seven of their nine losses are; @ Creighton, @ Kansas, Vandy, Ole Miss, Clemson, Georgetown and @ Villanova. Granted, it would have been good for them had they actually won any of those games, but it will be hard to count any of those against them if they can keep winning, and actually make a case for themselves come Selection Sunday...

Baylor Bears (15-2, 3-0 Big XII)
Seems like only yesterday that this school was mired in a murder/drugs/not drugs/coaching scandal that left it in ruins, but Baylor seems to have bounced back with authority in '07-'08. They already sport wins over Notre Dame, South Carolina and Nebraska, to go along with close losses to Washington St. and Arkansas. More or less I'm just shocked they haven't fallen off the face of the planet, so that's why they made it near the top of my list as impressive "bubble" teams...

Houston Cougars (13-3, 2-0 Conference USA)
While all the talk out of Conference USA has been about the Memphis Tigers, and rightfully so, the Cougars are also doing their best to make a play for the post season. In what used to be a multi-bid league, CUSA took a major hit when half the league defected to the Big East, and has since had trouble getting a large contingent into the dance. If Houston continues to get solid play from their stellar backcourt, they shouldn't have any trouble holding down the #2 spot in the conference, and a sure fire spot in the tournament. Senior Dion Dowell leads this team as an all around threat, averaging 13 points, 8 boards and 2 blocks a game, all while pouring them in at 43% from the 3 point line. Add him with Rob McKiver, who's good for more than 21 a night, and you've got a tough combination that could be deadly in a "one and done" scenario...

Northern Arizona Lumberjacks (13-6, 5-1 Big Sky)
You always have to be weary of senior led teams that like to run up and down, and that's exactly what these boys bring to the table. They were blown out by Kansas in Lawrence, and lost a road game to Arizona earlier this year, but those games might prove to be just the right type of experience to prepare them for an upset in March. They average better than 74 points a game, and are led by senior forward Kyle Landry, who's good for better than 17 points and 9 rebounds a contest. They run, they play D, and they won't be scared of the big boys. Dangerous combination...

Akron Zips (14-3, 4-0 MAC)
To put it plainly, the MAC always produces teams that nobody wants to play in the post season. This year, the best of the bunch appear to be the Akron Zips. I know we've all seen the ZIPS hat, and have laughed about it possibly being a unit of measure for a certain "narcotic," but behind that hilarious pun, there's an actual team that can ball it up. They don't have any real quality wins as of yet, but close losses to Winthrop and Dayton in pre conference play let me know they can hang with the good ones. They bring a real balanced attack to the table, with 8 guys averaging 13+ minutes a game and 6 guys getting better than 7 points a game. Lots of unselfish seniors often lead to surprising tourney success...

UNC Asheville Bulldogs (14-4, 3-0 Big South)
*Everyone remembers when UNC's Tyler Hansbrough dunked on Asheville's 7'7" center, Kenny George, but what you should have taken away from that game was that this team could actually play some ball. George might be mostly a lumbering freak, I'll give you that, but it's the backcourt play that impresses here. Guards Bryan Smithson and KJ Garland combine for 33 points, 8 rebounds, 3 steals and 11 assists per game, all while shooting better than 39% from downtown. A 7'7" center, no matter for stiff, and a pair of ballers like that? Wouldn't be shocked if they could create some matchup issues. They lost @ UNC by 12, and @ Tennessee by 13, so how shocking would it be for them to hang with lesser squads, on a neutral court..

I get all that info by watching games like the ones below. Well, that and the delicious Internet. But I always say that it's best to trust your eye when it comes to judging a team, so do yourself a favor and check out a few of the games listed below.

Tuesday
Tennessee @ Kentucky
Drake @ Creighton
Wake Forest @ Clemson

Wednesday
UNC @ Miami
UCONN @ Cincinnati
Iowa St. @ Kansas

Thursday
Duke @ Virginia Tech
Washington St. @ Arizona
Dayton @ Xavier
UCLA @ Oregon
Seton Hall @ Providence
Nevada @ New Mexico St.

I'll have all the weekend's big games for ya on Friday morning, to go along with my fresh top 10 poll. I'm feelin' at the top of my game now, so it's sure to be even more correct than usual, if you can believe that. I'm amped baby, and I'm chuck full of opinions on this sport that are just waiting to be spewed! "You tell college hoops I'm comin'....And I'm bringin' HELL with me!!!"


While I'm talkin' hoops, I need to comment on the Knicks/Celtics game I watched yesterday while I took the day off in recognition of Martin Luther King's birthday. OH, and before I get to that, I want to clear one thing up. The holiday is in recognition of the day in which King was born, January 15th, and is held the Monday following the 15th every year. It is NOT the anniversary of his assassination, despite the fact that many media members, and many of you out there, seem to think so. OK, so back to the game. I really don't have anything to offer as far as the play on the court, as much as I have criticism to offer the Knick players, and Boston head coach Glen Rivers. As for the Knicks, I finally get why they suck. It may seem like they have some talented named guys on their squad, but when all those guys look like they've spent the hours leading up to the game throwin' back White Castle "slyders" and milkshakes, it's no wonder they're a freakin' embarrassment. Between Eddie Curry, Jerome James and Quentin Richardson, you got about 1,000 pounds of cheese and deep fried treats, that used to be about 700 lbs of actual basketball talent. I hate to say it, but even Isiah might not deserve this, that tiny little pimp. It does give me a great idea for a reality game show involving the Knickerbockers, though. Each week, someone gets fired until the team is actually good. I call it "The Biggest Loser." Ha!

As for "Doc," I've said all along his poor decision making would be this team's downfall, and he did little yesterday to change my mind. In a pre game interview, Rivers said he wasn't sure how healthy Rajon Rondo was, but he was gonna play him unless he started noticeably limping on the court. OK. First off, duhhhh. You're gonna take a guy out if he's limping. #2, if you're not sure he's healthy, and your team is 32-6, then why the Hell even risk playing him? And #3, why give all this information to the press right before a game? Maybe it's the Belichick in me, but it seems that the less you give the media, the less you give the other team, and they better off your team will be. Keep your mouth shut Doc, and at the very least, stop playing dudes that are injured when your team has already clinched a playoff spot in freaking January...Dumbass...


I happened to catch the Roy Jones Jr/Felix Trinidad fight this weekend on Pay Per View, and I must say I was rather disappointed. Maybe I just expect too much from boxing, but I wanna see knockouts and haymakers, not some strategic chess match of jabs and body shots. Those two traded "decent" shots round after round, and I came to the realization that it's gonna be a long time before I watch two Pay-Per-View fights in the span of a few months, ever again. Wake me up when the heavyweight division doesn't consist of an 8 foot Russian, and a bunch of ex-cons. Then maybe I'll feel like watchin' again. Then again, I might be too busy producing my new Knicks' reality show, so you better make it sooner rather than later...


Also, I thought I'd add this story fresh from the Cam Neely "why don't you just kick my dog while you're here" category. Upon busting a drug dealer in his hotel room, police not only seized the guys goods, but also his winning $1,000 scratch ticket. They say it was bought with proceeds from illegal activity, so it had to go, but I say it was just their way of rubbing it in. Either that, or they got caught trying to cash it in themselves and needed a snappy excuse as to why they had it. You know how cops is, all corrupt and whatnot. Oh, and if you didn't get the Cam Neely reference, then you don't that commercial, and you need to check it out. Ahh ESPN2. It seems like only yesterday you started showing sporting events that only women, and men in the south, seem to enjoy. Too bad I couldn't find the commercial on YouTube. Yeah, I was fairly surprised myself...


Finally, I'd like to share with you the answer to the mystery that has boggled European morons for generations. Why don't American's like soccer? Well, my simple minded Eurotrash friends, when your announcers are getting this excited about a player being "onsiders" and scoring a single goal, we don't get how it is that all of you haven't killed yourselves from boredom by now. Here's what I mean...






I don't know what's worse. Having to listen to that guy doing a soccer game, or listening to Bryant Gumbel do anything besides the Gumbel to Gumbel episodes on Family Guy. "Um...it appears as if the greasy European man has, um-hm, kicked the sphere into the, um-hm, netted scoring box, but they have decided to send it up to the officials for an instant review verification...um-hm...um-hm...um-hm...um-hm....."


It's gonna be a fun two weeks, man, so make sure to keep it tuned here for all those Super updates that are sure to start rollin' down the line...be good pimps...

Friday, January 18, 2008

Lights Out, San Diego!

Well it's just another week in Patriot Nation. Just another game. Nothin' distractin' the team, no opponents talkin' junk and certainly no "extra" incentive to bring this one home...Oh, and if you believe any of that, I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts on "The Rock Osama", and his chances in this upcoming election/Oscar chances/how "running from the Western World" is workin out for him...

Conference Championship Picks

New England Patriots (-13.5) vs San Diego Chargers

Now, I'm not gonna play "hometown Harry" and ignore this whole Randy Moss thing, just let me get the actual game out of the way before I break it down, OK? Nice. Alright, well my pick is essentially a no brainer, as I'm not about to hex the Pats now after taking them to cover all season long, but there are a few things about this matchup with San Diego that do have me slightly wary of this team nobody is giving a chance to win...

-Despite his playoff brilliance, Tom Brady actually suffered his worst post season passer rating of 57.9 last year, against the Chargers. Ah, OK, that's really just a coincidence. No sure if this is though...

-The Patriot run defense, which was able to shut down Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones Drew last week, has struggled this year against shifty runners that can dodge tackles and break big gainers. Even with Tomlinson dinged up, Darren Sproles is a threat in the screen game, and Michale Turner has shown the ability to be a physical force when give the touches...

-In Shawne Merriman and Shaun Phillipps, the Chargers have the most dynamic outside pass rush the Patriots have seen all season, and I see it causing some issues for Brady and the passing game. While he was elected to the Pro Bowl again this year, Matt Light usually struggles with big, fast, outside pass rushers, and much like Dwight Freeney in the past, I expect SD tandem to abuse Light, and show how they collected more than 20 sacks between them in the regular season. Don't get me wrong, the Patriot offensive line as a whole has been fantastic this season in giving Brady time, but the guys on the other side of the ball got their team this far too, and they're exactly the type of players that can really throw a wrench into the dynamic Patriots passing attack...

-and lastly, in regards to the spread. The Patriots are 4-5-1 in their last 10 against the number, while the Chargers have now covered 8 games in a row

Now! All that being said, if all of those little things don't work out in the Chargers favor...and I mean ALL of them, then the Patriots are gonna roll them up like a Dutch, and smoke 'em faster than a Philly. Tom Brady is too good, this team is too good, and the Chargers just aren't a good enough team to take them down and exact revenge for last year, where Tory Brown ripped the game from them after they thought they had the game locked with an interception. Not in Foxboro, not when they're so close to completing a perfect season, not with the Super Bowl berth on the line and for that matter, probably never, period. And I'll tell you somethin' that's not really workin' in San Diego's favor right now, and that's their players yappin', and adding to the already "whiny and conceited" image that fans around here have of them. First, you got Philly Rivers jawin' with some fan at the Colts game. For real, man? If you're gonna taunt, at least flip the bird like Mikey Vick. When you talk back to those liquored up yahoos, all you're doing is goin' on the record, as a classless hick, with thin skin, that probably still cries whenever his team loses, and in failing that, bottles up his rage until his family ends up in the trunk of his car, in the bottom of a lake.

Rivers' immaturity alone is a big reason I like the Pats to romp in this game, but his teammate, defensive tackle Igor Olshansky, has pulled his best Anthony Smith impression, by giving the Patriots free bulletin board material, when he has to know by now, they use it to straight crucify peeps on the field, while the whole time denying they know anything about it. This fool came out and said he felt all the pressure was on the Patriots, and that would go against them in the game. Right, man, because it's gotten to them so far, right? Listen, if all you tards out there wanna keep seein' your name in the paper for blastin' the Pats, just keep it up, and we'll keep collecting the rings. See, I'm so fired up now that I'm even givin' a final score prediction to this massacre. Final score, Patriots 41 San Diego 20. Have a nice trip home, crybabies, and tell Ron Burgundy we said "what it is, pimp?". In short, Go Fuck yourselves, San Diego...It's LIGHTS OUT!


As for Moss and the restraining order placed against him. THAT, Roger Clemens, is how an innocent man sounds! I'm not even saying Moss IS innocent of these physical abuse charges, but at least he's acting that way! He came out, said he'd been wronged, said he was betrayed by a friend, said he was being extorted, and said it isn't in his character to ever strike a woman in anger. AND, he did so all while sounding as if he'd been wronged, and as if he felt betrayed by the person who had accused him! No double talk, no dodging questions. In fact, Moss even went out of his way by answering questions I'm sure his attorneys told him to avoid, just so he could convince the surrounding reporters, and us as fans, that he was innocent, and was going to do everything he could to clear his name. Like I said, guilty or not, I have not the slightest clue, but to answer all the critics out there who back Roger Clemens and ask "well how should he be reacting?". This is how you should be reacting, you juiced out hick. For the Pats, this won't be a distraction this week, and if anything could bring them closer together. And For Randy...Go get 'em son. Straight Cash, Homie...

Green Bay Packers (-7) vs New York Giants

Here's my problem. Going into a big game like this, I always have the tendency to think the following two things: 1) If these teams were good enough to both get here, then they should both be playing at a high level, making this a close game...but then there's 2) Big games never live up to the hype, and more often than not tend to end in blowouts one way or the other. And yeah, that's the little dance that's going on in my head almost all the time, so imagine how much fun my brain has when I make my weekly picks. It's a trip I kid you now. Anyway, when I use that formula in my head this time around, it's telling me to go with the Green Bay Packers, and in doing so it's also telling me that the Pack are gonna win big.

So, I take that, combine it with the "eye" test of what I've seen from each team thus far, and pretty much, my mind isn't changing. The Pack proved in last week's win over Seattle, that not only do they have a complete offense, but that they have a hard hitting, ball hawking defense to go with it. As for the G-Men, I'd admire what they've done to get here after everyone had written them off for dead in week 5, but I just think they're bound to run out of magic, and run out of gas. Eli has improved, and they're defense makes a lot of big plays, but I just don't think they can pull a remarkable 10th road win out of their ass, and make it to the Super Bowl. Look for Eli to turn the ball over a few times early, for Brett Favre to sling one from between his legs for an 80 yard score, and look for the Pack to roll all the way to a date with the Pats in Phoenix. We'll see if Tooth Strahan and Brett Fav-rah are still buddies after this one...ahhh you know they will be, since they'll prolly also be broadcast partners for another 15 years when they both finally call it quits. A pain killer addict and adrenaline junkie, teamed with a toothless giant. Move over Tiki, I can see the Emmy's rollin' in now...

Don't like my picks? Well then take it up with this guy. I found this video on YouTube the other day, and it seems like there's an optimistic fan in Wisconsin somewhere, who may have had the Super Bowl pegged for the last 2 months. His final prediction may be way off base, but you gotta love his spirit, and somewhat Nostra-Dumbass type abilities. Check it out...



And if you thought that was slightly nerdy, check out what this freak did while taking a 10 minute breather from Dungeons and Dragons. The Skins and the Bungles in the Super Bowl? Tell your cousin to put on her clothes, turn up the techno, and pass the motha fuckin' meth!! Wooooooooo...



Wow, right? If you watched more than 20 seconds of that, then so help me God I apologize. That totally was my intention. But what a loser, right? I never got why people would do that in those Madden and NCAA franchise modes. I'm all for bein' a GM too, but play the freakin' game, man! Hand to God, I once knew a kid who simulated like 50 recruiting classes and seasons at Michigan for football, collecting blue chippers and National Championships along the way. Took him like 12 hours to do it, and the kid like never even stopped for a meal! Dude loved every second of it too! Get a life, people! On second thought, all you tools make me actually looked semi-respectable...so ignore what I just said, and keep up the good work. Even better, put yourself to work on an actually funny video, like this one from a Cowboy fan with a since of humor. This music will getcha every time...


Kind of took it on the chin a little with my picks last weekend, but seeing as these final 3 picks can't really change my record that much, I've more or less just conceded to the fact I've had a "pretty good year", and moved my focus towards constructing a killer bracket come March...


Last Week: 1-2-2

Overall: 65-45-6 (.586)


It was the first "really big week" in conference play so far this year, and I personally came away with a lot of new thoughts courtesy of the action that unfolded. For starters, a few teams I thought might be ready for prime time, like Texas A&M (loss to Texas Tech) and Michigan St. (scored 36 while losing to Iowa), promptly came crashing back to earth this week with disappointing losses, and find themselves outside the top 10 just as quickly as they arrived. Other squads, like UCLA and Tennessee proved their mettle with big time conference wins, and have likewise seen their stock skyrocket.

Then comes the always intriguing question at this time of the season, as to if it's better to win close games like UNC over Georgia Tech, or is it better to stomp out possibly lesser opponents, as Memphis did to Rice? Well, for now, until they show me a chink in their armor, I'd have to say Memphis stomping out opponents, and learning to win as a fairly young, yet experienced team, is showing more than a UNC squad going out and winning a close game, albeit against better competition. Both are great teams, and both should be around well into the post season, but right now, at this part of the season, I'll take as many blow out wins and worry about how they play in the close ones when I see a team that might actually be able to hang with them. The reason the tournament at the end of the season is so good, is because it's tough to predict how so many teams will play, because the teams they played during the season were so different, making it tough to compare. Another good example is Butler, who impressed in pre conference play, but have since dropped off the map into the Horizon League.

For now, Memphis stays atop my poll, and UCLA, aided by their big win over Wazzu, jumps all the way to the #2 spot. Freshmen Kevin Love is a beast inside, but he looks like a Hansbrough type that might be better off stickin' around and milkin' his college career. His coach Ben Howland says I'm wrong, and says Love is the best he's ever seen and is ready to go pro now, but I'm just not sure. He'll be a load to handle for anyone in the nation come tourney time, that's for certain.

Mississippi, or Ole Miss, is the only brand new team to enter the poll this week, thanks to a close loss against Tennessee and a win over Florida. The Rebels sport a solid inside-outside combination with Chris Warren (15.3 ppg / 5.3 apg / 39% 3-pt) and Dwayne Curtis (15.2 ppg . 8.4 rpg), and are going to be a force all season long in a tough SEC. Indiana and Duke also found their way back into the top 10 this week, due partly to their good play, but also in large part to so many other teams around them in the rankings (Marquette, A&M, Butler, Vanderbilt) lost games this week.

Also, while the Atlantic 10 started off strong, with good non conference showings by Rhode Island, Dayton, UMASS and Xavier, there's is a case where a tough, top loaded conference could hurt them in the eyes of the committee. All three did well enough to get ranked, but not so high where a few losses to each other couldn't knock all three out of the top 25. And you gotta know each will drop at least one game it "shouldn't" along the way as well. Just somethin' to keep an eye one, ya know since Xavier just lost to Temple by 19, and Rhody lost to St. Louis a week after they only managed to score 20 points during an entire game!

Now two "sleeper" type teams, that seem to be making their move right now are Boston College in the ACC, and the Drake Bulldogs in the Missouri Valley Conference. Both teams are undefeated in conference play at 6-0 and 3-0 respectively, and while they haven't tangled with the big boys in their respective leagues, they're winning the games they should win early on, and that's always a good sign. If they can keep it up, and pick up a few key in conference wins you can expect them to start climbing through the rankings. If not, their weak out of conference slates could end up keeping them firmly on the bubble come tourney time...

Finally,Georgetown continues to slip virtually outside the top 10, largely based on the "eye test". I watch these guys play, and I see a guard driven team, that really doesn't know how to work with big man Roy Hibbert, nor is Hibbert getting any better as an offensive threat. Maybe one is reflective on the other, I don't know. I do know that scattered scoring and good defense can only get this team so far, and I'm sure it's not nearly as far as coach JT3 and G'Town thought it might be before the season began. They started high in the rankings, so they'll stick around until they drop some Big East games, and then the word could be out. For now, I'm keepin' 'em around simply based on potential. If they can get their act together, they could be a force, but a lot of times potential is just a fancy way of sayin' you're overrated. So we'll have to just wait and see.

Now, without further ado, here's my new top 10, hot off the press. I understand if it's too HOT for you, so if you can't handle it's pimpness, feel free to move right down the page. There's plenty more where this came from...

College Hoops Top 10
1. Memphis (16-0) 1
2. UCLA (16-1) 5
3. North Carolina (18-0) 2
4. Kansas (17-0) 3
5. Tennessee (15-1) 8
6. Washington St. (15-1) 4
7. Indiana (15-1) NR
8. Duke (14-1) NR
9. Georgetown (13-2) 6
10. Mississippi (15-1) NR

just missed: Butler, Marquette, Arizona St., Pittsburgh, Texas A&M

dropped: (7) Michigan St.; (9) Butler; (10) Texas A&M


This is what the lineup looks like for this weekend as far as big games go. The highlighted games are the games of the day, with USC/UCLA or "OJ Mayo vs Kevin Love" as I'm sure some papers are dubbing it, and the Clemson/Duke game being the real "can't miss"showdowns. However, don't sleep on the Big XII with Kansas St. @ Texas A&M, a battle featuring 7-foot DeAndre Jordan and K-St's 6'10" Michael Beasley, arguably the two best freshmen big men in the country, or the Texas @ Oklahoma St. game on Big Monday. I know a lot of the faces have changed (Kevin Durant most notably), but you gotta think emotions are gonna run high after those two teams took it to 3 OTs before settling it in Stillwater just last season. Talent goes up and down from year to year, but it's amazing how a game like that can propel a rivalry years and years down the road, so keep an eye out...

Saturday
Notre Dame @ Georgetown
Villanova @ Syracuse
USC @ UCLA
Ohio St. @ Tennessee
Texas A&M @ Kansas St.
Clemson @ Duke
Kansas @ Missouri
Arizona St. @ Stanford
Baylor @ Nebraska

Sunday
Marquette @ UCONN
Oregon @ Washington St.
Michigan St. @ Minnesota
Florida St. @ Wake Forest

Monday
Syracuse @ Georgetown
Texas @ Oklahoma St.


As usual, check back for my reaction to many of these games, as well as a look forward to upcoming big games, right here on Tuesday...


News and Notes



Baseball was before Congress again this week, and instead of commenting on who won or lost between George Mitchell, Doanld Fehr, and Bud Selig, I'd like to instead focus on how stupid the actual politicians made themselves look during the proceeding. Most notably, I'd like to thank Connectiut Rep, Chris Shays, for the following remarks he had in addressing the use of steroids in baseball...


-he constantly referred to Rafael Palmeir-O, as Mr. Palmeir-eee...

-he also talked about Palmeiri's 300th hit, instead of his momentus "3,000th" hit

-he referred to the use of steroids in baseball as the blackest mark one the game, worse than the 1919 Chicago "Blackhawks" Scandal. Now, if he meant Black-Sox, then I might be with him, but I don't remember any hockey players screwin' with baseball...unless Bo Jackson also played hockey and I forgot about it...I'm sure Bo's New Hip Knows Hockey, right? And how is that dude not on the new American Gladiators show? Really boggles my mind...

-finally, Shays also kept referring to the "post season" as the "post session". I mean, I know Bryant Gumbel, who is live from the 2nd period of the Pats-Giants game is down for what you're sayin', but the rest of us just look at you and wonder "what the hell is goin' on in our government?"


You might think some of my gripes were a little harsh, but this guy came into this hearing as the top dog, an enforcer, and a guy who loved, and knew a lot about the game of baseball and it's history. Instead, he comes off sounding like Corky from Life Goes On doin' an impression of the Micro Machines guy...yea,at's right, I went there. Here's a little bit of what Shays had to say, just to give you an idea of how dumb this a-hole actually is...



And since we're already talkin' about roids, what better time to talk about the alleged hip hop steroid ring that was busted up earlier this week? The Albany District Attorney's Office, which has previously brought you such roid busts as Rick Ankiel and Roidney Harrison, have now released a report in which they have named some of Hip Hp's greatest artists as known steroid users. Named specifically in the report were Wyclef, Timbaland (gee, ya think?), 50 Cent and Mary J. Blige. Mary J. Blige? Whoa. Including Mary J., I can't say any of this really surprises me, what I do want to know is, when are Richard Branson, Russell Simmons and Bono gonna insist Congress run a roid probe into the Hip Hop and Rap industry? It's entertainment, right? And the whole steroid investigation in baseball, or what they want you to believe, was supposedly intended to protect the children who admire, and mimic these professionals. Well, where's Big Brother savin' my future spawn from Timbaland and his fresh, roided out beats? And where the hell is Grandmaster Flash, and what's left of Run DMC to protest that they're songs are really the best, cuz all they were on were Weed, Fluff and Kool Aid?

Fact of the matter is, people who need to look good for a living, and part of looking good for them is looking muscular, are gonna do anything to stay on top, not limited to using roids. I say props to them for playin' the game to the fullest, I just have to give them a "you're bad" on the fact that they got caught. This is why you have cousin's people. To order you're drugs for you on the internet from the global pill cafe, and then take the fall when the Feds catch 'em at the PO Box store. I thought this was all common knowledge?

*I get a speeding ticket, nobody cares. But all of a sudden LeBron James gets caught doin' a hundy+ on his birthday, and it's a big deal? OK, so LeBron is a little more important than I am, but how is this really news? So he was flyin' around in his new toy, and got yanked over by the po-nines. He wasn't tanked, right? So what's the big deal? Let him pay his ticket, which I'm still confused as to why a Cleveland cop would give him one, and let the man go about his business. And for all you tools thinkin' he might miss a road game because the scheduled hearing for his ticket is the same day as a game, you've obviously never heard of lawyers, which means you're obviously, an idiot. They'll move the date around, he'll pay his little fine, and we'll all move on to focusing on how Jim Leyritz could possibly be as tanked as he was and still operating a lighter, let alone a car, when he was cruisin' around and committing vehicular homicide...

To finish up this week, I figured I'd toss in this. People often ask me what exactly it is I do for my job at the radio station. Well, my friends, I can tell you one thing I don't do. And that's this...


God, I love that stuff, poor goofy bastard. Kid needs to do himself a favor and A) try to mack on the slightly hefty chick that's in the opening...I think he could pull somethin' after a few Beast cups...and 2) get out of the sports journalism business, and go right to selling these for a living on eBay...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin

And poof, just like that...I'm gone...well, until Tuesday...