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Friday, November 07, 2008

NFL Week 10 Picks - Angry Republicans BEWARE


Well, it looks like Kevin Garnett was right after all...

"ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There's a black man in the White House (and the Secret Service hasn't shot him yet), we got decriminalised weed in Massachusetts, and Manny Ramirez is about to cash in for the 2nd time in his career, on the second most lucrative contract that Major League Baseball has ever seen...


Looks like the only thing that wasn't possible, was for me to keep my promise and actually deliver on this week's Tuesday post...

Well never fear, fine citizens. What I lack in honesty and dependability, I'll more than make up for with my ability to make you some money...


Week 10 Picks

New England Patriots (-3.5) vs Buffalo Bills

Sing it with me now...

Dick Jauron, has got it goin' on...

Dick Jauron, has got it goin' on...

(chorus)
Bills fans can't you see? We don't have Mc-Ga-hee,
I know Jim Kelly's gone, but I'm in love with Dick Jauron...


Ahhhh, good times.


But seriously, the Bills are just too dinged up on both sides of the ball for me to pick them in this one. They're missing Donte Witner on defense, Josh Reed on offense, and neither the offensive or defensive line is playing with nearly the effectiveness as they were just a few weeks back...

Look for the Patriots to shut down the Marshawn Lynch and the running attack like they did against Indy, and force a suspect Trent Edwards into making some passes he'd rather not make, to a bunch of guys he'd rather not be throwing too...

I'm not saying blowout, by any means. But what I am looking at, is like a 27-17 game that wasn't nearly as close as the score might indicate...



Carolina Panthers (-9) @ Oakland Raiders

One of the NFL's hottest teams, against a team currently trying to rid itself, mid season, of high paid veteran players. You do the math...



New York Giants (+3) @ Philadelphia Eagles

The Giants are 10-1 in their last 11 regular season home games dating back to last year, and they're getting points?

Well I know a good trend when I see one, and in this game, I'm sticking with the G-Men. No leftover Super Bowl resentment here, kids. It's all about makin' that sweet, sweet cake...


Pittsburgh Steelers (pick) vs Indianapolis Colts

And keeping with the "disrespect" theme, the boys down in Vegas aren't giving much love to the Indianapolis Colts, either. Just one week after pulling out a quality victory against the Pats, going up against the Pittsburgh team without Ben Roethlisberger, and the Colts aren't even being a single point this Sunday when they roll into the Steel City...

Might look strange, but I say for good reason. Let's face it. The Colts still aren't the Colts of years past, and the Steelers still make their name by dominating both sides of the line of scrimmage...


Minnesota Vikings (-2) vs Green Bay Packers

I've been high on the Packers for most of the year, but I don't like their chances this week when they visit division rival Minnesota...

For one, the Packers are coming off a hard fought loss to the undefeated Titan that's no doubt left them battered and bruised on multiple fronts. I treat it like coming off a Monday Night. I don't like teams coming off the short week, and I don't like teams that just got cranked in the mouth to turn around and win another physical game...

The recipe should be a lot of Adrian Peterson, and just enough of Gus Frerotte to keep the Packers on their toes. He's coming off his best game of the year against Houston (11-18, 182 yards, 3 TD/1 INT), and a similar performance should be just what the Dr. ordered. They limit his plays, therefore limiting his chances for mistakes, and also making each pass play that much more unexpected...


And here are the rest of my picks for the week. As usual I had a tough time making my "top" picks, so there are plenty of bet-worthy gems left over for you to take your pick. And if you really want to impress your friends, take the Kansas Shitty Chiefs and the nearly 16 points they are getting against the Chargers. Maybe San Diego suddenly reverted to the team of years past and I missed it, but I'm sorry, I just don't see them kicking anybodies ass these days. Especially anybody in the division...


Tennessee Titans (-3) @ Chicago Bears

Miami Dolphins (-8) vs Seattle Seahawks

New York Jets (-8) vs St. Louis Rams

Baltimore Ravens (-1) @ Houston Texans

Kansas City Chiefs (+15.5) @ San Diego Chargers

Jacksonville Jaguars @ Detroit Lions OVER 44

New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons OVER 46


And just a quick explanation on these over/unders I'm taking this week. I figure I rarely ever pick them, so you deserve a little insight into my reasoning...



With the Jags and Lions, I figure both teams are playing so bad, that both their offenses and their defenses will probably stumble into enough points to make it happen...

And in Atlanta. I'm a big fan of the fact that two of the league's best passing attacks are going up against two of the league's worst pass defenses...



Done and Done...


Monday Night



Arizona Cardinals (-9.5) vs San Francisco 49ers

Mike Singeltary's already dropped his pants in private, but now it's time for his team to do so in front of a world wide audience. The only difference? (at least I hope) This time, there should be something resonating from rear. Look for San Fran to take a huge dump on National TV, only to have Singeltary make people forget about their performance with another hysterical press conference, instantly destined for YouTube infamy...


Geesh. Where's President Charley when you need him?...



Oh shit, there he is! Wobbly Yullllllllllllllllle!....


Last Week: 8-6-0 (Top Picks: 3-4-0)

Overall: 72-55-3 (.566)

Top Picks: 29-22-1 (.567)


Hold on to that one percentage point advantage, top picks!...(AKA - this is starting to get a tad bit embarrassing)



Now it's on to the college game. And as is always the case when it comes to college pigskin, the later in the year, the bigger the games become...



Last week, the big games on the slate included a #1 stunner from Texas Tech and a Florida beatdown of Georgia @ the World's Most Lopsided Cocktail Party. This week? Well it's the implementation of another hard and fast college football rule. Just when you think we went through the weekend with the biggest games. BAM! Another huge weekend is right around the corner...

OK, that's basically the same rule, but that's how typical HUGE showdowns like the ones this week are...

In Baton Rogue, Louisana, we have the Saban Bowl. Nicky and the Tide roll into town while Les Miles and his LSU Tigers try to play National Championship spoiler by sticking one in their former head coaches money loving heart...

The Big XII does the SEC one better with their top 10 showdown between Oklahoma St. and new National darling, the #2 Texas Tech Red Raiders. We all became believers after seeing Michale Crabtree's tight rope walk to beat Texas, but the Cowboys are out to prove that they too deserve to be on the conference's top tier with the likes of Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, and of course their opponent. I can't say I like head coach Mike Gundy's chances, no matter how much of a "man" he is, but at the very least this should prove to be an entertaining, back and forth shootout...


In Iowa, we have Joe Paterno "not worrying about the BCS....or is it the BSC?", as the Fraud St. Nittany Lions look to move to a perfect 10-0. They should cruise to the W in this one, but it's the fact that another sub-standard Big 10 team is gonna take advantage of a weak conference and sputter into the BCS title game that has me a little on edge. I know it's happened before, and will only create great media fodder. But enough is enough already...

Upsets to watch for this week include Northwestern being spotted 11 @ home against Ohio St., Baylor getting a full 4 touchdowns @ Texas, and the Ramblin' Wreck of Georgia Tech being given 4 points on the road visiting in conference rival North Carolina...

Can't say I like all 3 of those teams chances of winning, but seeing as the boys in Sin City are giving me so much wiggle room, I'm taking those dogs, and I;m taking the points. If they win? Well that'll just make me look even smarter now, won't it?...

Now have at it! And just remember. It's not a real college party until you have to ask yourself "If I didn't put it in her drink, then I shouldn't have to tell her to put her clothes back on, right?"...HA!


NCAA Top 25 Picks
(1) Alabama (-3)
@ (15) LSU

(2) Texas Tech (-3) vs (8) Oklahoma St.

(3) Penn St. (-7.5) @ Iowa

(4) Florida (-24) @ Vanderbilt

Baylor (+28) @ (5) Texas

(6) Oklahoma (-26.5) @ Texas A&M

(7) USC (-20.5) vs (21) California

(9) Boise St. (-33) vs Utah St.

Northwestern (+11) vs (12) Ohio St.

(13) Missouri (-27) vs Kansas St.

(14) Georgia (-10.5) @ Kentucky

(17) BYU (-34.5) vs San Diego St.

(18) Michigan St. (-9.5) vs Purdue

(22) Georgia Tech (+4) @ (19) North Carolina

(20) West Virginia (-7) vs Cincinnati

(24) Florida St. (-4.5) vs Clemson

(25) Pittsburgh (-6) vs Louisville



Last Week: 11-5-1

Overall: 104-67-5 (.605)


And that'll do it for this Friday's edition, kids. I hope your enjoying the new presidency, or least enjoying bitching about it. And I'll be back to discuss all that and more with you early next week. I promise not to puss out this time AND I promise that I won't forget to bring you up to speed on MLB's hot stove, my NCAA All Americans, and any other tasty tidbits that happen to come across my desk (bed) between now and then...


Oh, and just a little note to all those who have felt that it was their duty this week to tell every Obama supporter how dumb they are...


IF WE WANTED YOUR ADVICE WHEN WE WENT TO THE POLLS, WE WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU FOR IT. AND THE REASON MOST PEOPLE VOTED FOR HIM, IS BECAUSE THE PEOPLE/PARTY YOU SUPPORT SPENT THE LAST 8 YEARS FUCKING THIS COUNTRY UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION...

WE AREN'T IN LOVE WITH BARACK, IT'S THAT WE'RE SICK OF THE OTHER GUYS! IF IT DOESN'T WORK? WELL AT LEAST WE GAVE IT A SHOT, RIGHT? INSTEAD OF CHOOSING AT LEAST 4 MORE YEARS OF A STRATEGY, AND A FRAME OF MIND, THAT WE ALREADY KNOW JUST ISN'T GETTING THE JOB DONE. I MEAN THE ECONOMY IS IN THE SHITTER AND WE'RE STILL FIGHTING THE COUNTRY'S MOST UNPOPULAR WAR, RIGHT? SO WHAT COULD BE THE HARM IN A LITTLE CHANGE?...

DON'T TRY TO CENSOR PEOPLE'S VOTING RITES JUST BECAUSE YOUr CANDIDATE LOST, AND AT LEAST GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE BEFORE YOU RUN HIM OUT OF TOWN. DISMISSING HIM BEFORE HE EVEN SPENDS ONE DAY ON THE JOB JUST MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER RACIST, AND SOMEONE WHO IS SO NAIVE, THAT YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT IF YOU ELECTED MCCAIN, HE WAS GONNA KEEP ALL HIS CAMPAIGN PROMISES...

I KNOW IT'S YOUR COUNTRY TOO, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'ER TAKING PRIDE IN IT'S LEADERSHIP, BUT ATTACKING ANOTHER PERSON'S CONSTITUTIONAL RITE TO PICK THEIR PRESIDENT, JUST MAKES YOU LOOK DUMB. SORRY YOU'RE OLD GUY LOST, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME WHEN YOU RUN THAT LIBRARIAN OUT THERE FOR ANOTHER SHOT AT IT...

AND WHO KNOWS. MAYBE BY THEN I'LL WELCOME THE CHANGE, AND REGRET THE WAY THIS ELECTION WENT DOWN. BUT THE THING IS, I'LL STILL APPLAUD THE COUNTRY FOR TAKING THIS CHANCE. MAYBE NOT A CHANCE FOR THE DRASTIC CHANGE THAT MANY OBAMA SUPPORTERS BELIVE OR MCCAIN SUPPORTERS DREAD. BUT A CHANCE TO CHANGE DIRECTION. A CHANCE TO CHANGE A LOT OF THINGS THAT A LOT OF US HAVE GROWN TO DISLIKE ABOUT OUR GREAT NATION. JUST A CHANCE FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. A CHANCE TO TAKE A CHANCE. AND AS SPORTS FANS, WE SHOULD ALL BE GAME FOR TAKING THOSE CHANCES, CROSSING OUR FINGERS, AND HOPING FOR THE BEST...

IT'S A LOT TO ASK WHEN YOU'RE GAMBLING ON YOUR COUNTRY, BUT IT'S ALSO ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT YOU'D RISK IT ALL TO TRY AND FIX. HERE'S TO RISKING IT ALL, HAVING A LITTLE FAITH, AND RESPECTING THE RITES AND OPINIONS OF YOUR FELLOW MAN...

NADER/THAT MEXICAN '12...


I'm outta here...

1 comments:

sean said...

This Means War!

I'mma kill the sun!





Salad!

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