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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Manny Ramirez OR President Charley?

Greetings boys and girls. I've returned from my trip to the 5 Boroughs, and I've come back with a few pieces of key information. First and foremost, I was glad to hear that the tentacles of Rooch Nation are spreading far and wide, and my lethal verbiage is finishing a close second only to foldable slices as an NYC favorite. Secondly, and just as pertinent, is that with the MLB trade deadline virtually here, Manny being Manny, and all the Brett Favre talk heating up, the rest of the summer in the Big Apple is sure to be hotter than the DVD's on Canal St. Lucky for my city friends, my all encompassing style won't leave any stone unturned, or any pun left unused. Read on pimps, read on...


Red Sox Update
Overall:
61-48, 3 games back in AL East

-The first order of business, whether in Red Sox Nation or not, is the 3 ring circus that is one, Manny Ramirez. Seems like only yesterday, but it was almost 3 years ago that I sat here and said goodbye to Manny and his offensive prowess. Well, a few placements on irrevocable waivers, a botched deal for A-Rod, and a near deal for Aubrey Huff later, and ManRam is still wreaking havoc in the Bean. Whether it's on the field, in the clubhouse, or while attempting to sell a grill on eBay, Manny's been just as productive as he's been controversial during his time in the Bay State. So it only stands to reason, that as his monstrous contract draws to an end, and seemingly all his leverage is lost, that the immature and selfish Ramirez has reared it's ugly head. He made it abundantly clear this weekend that he's had enough of the Sox front office, and that they've had enough of him. So it stands to reason that if he can't be traded by the deadline (virtually impossible to get fair value in return....but we've been over that before), that there's no way Theo and friends pick up his $20 million option at the end of the year, right? Well, at the risk of being contrarian simply to be unique, I have to go ahead and say that any scenario in which Manny isn't in Boston next year seems highly unlikely. Even though he's getting older, and his production has slightly declined, I don't see any way Boston can attempt to replace him without taking a significant step back. I concede that simply picking up his option will only make '09 similar to '08 in terms of his disruptions, but I also think that his antics are more just fodder for the media than they are a disruption in the clubhouse. I know he says he's unhappy, and that he's willing to be sent to Iraq or traded for Favre, but we've heard all this before too. MY feeling is, like any kids tantrum, this too will pass. As long as the guy rakes, he's welcome on my team and he'll be welcome on the Sox. Now all we have to do, is survive the next few hours before the trading deadline, and hopefully things will get back to normal. Well, at least as normal as things ever were to begin with...


-As for the 4-6 stretch the squad is on, and the way they were just anally violated by the Angels? Well that's a whole other can of worms my friends, and I'll worry about that next week. That is, if it doesn't just work itself out between now and then. Which I'm sure it won't...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To
-The Yankees pulled of a pretty good looking trade this week when they acquired left handed reliever Damaso Marte and right handed slugger Xavier Nady, but I hardly think it was as big a deal as most. Nady is a solid bat, that the Yankees didn't necessarily need. And while Marte is a great addition to the bullpen, I hardly think he's going to be the difference between the Yankees winning the World Series, and them missing the playoffs altogether. In my eyes, this is just another move by Steinbrenner and Cashman in which they decided to sacrifice their young prospects for a few vets that could bring them to the promise land. Simply put, this Yankee team is going to do now what it was going to do before this trade went down...



...and about that Farnsworth for Pudge trade? I understand the Yanks need catching help with Posada having had surgery yesterday, but is this really the cost they were willing to pay? Their bull pen has been the backbone of the team these past few months, with Farnsie one of the main contributors. Granted Pudge is Pudge, and he can throw out runners for ya, but the de-roided slugger is hardly the upgrade over Jose Molina that he once was. I mean I understand the move from an injury protection stand point, but that's about it. To me it looks like New York wanted to make a splash and bring in a big name, so that's what they did...


-And oh yea. Remember how I said the Angels might become unbeatable if and when they landed Atlanta 1B Mark Teixeira? Well they got him. And that should officially make the World Series theirs to lose. They have the starting pitching, they have the bull pen, and now they have the power bat they sorely needed to compliment Vlad, Garret Anderson and Torrii Hunter. The only way they don't at least make it to the doorstep of the World Series will be due to a major injury, another major earthquake, or if by chance Los Angeles becomes a city state of Mexico between now and then, and the entire team becomes stricken with Montezuma's revenge. Yeah, nothing like vicious, anus scorching diarrhea to derail a pennant race...


News and Notes
-So ESPN searched far and wide to determine which US city would claim the moniker of "Titletown". The result? No, not Boston, which has captured 3 Super Bowls, 2 World Series, 1 NBA Title, and a few notable NCAA titles in the past decade. Not New York or LA, which have long reigned supreme as the countries sports capitals. Not Detroit. Not Chicago. Not even Gainsville. Nope, they had "SportsNation" vote for what seems like years, and the answer they came up with? Valdosta, Georgia. Well, that was worth it, wasn't it? I mean I understand the whole concept was super-gay to begin with, but I didn't think the ballot box was gonna be stuffed like a junior prom election. I hope ESPN gets the message, and stops doin' this dumb, infotainment shit. But all it really means, is they're gonna send Mike Greenberg down to Valdosta, and have him tell the world which backwoods hut in Valdosta makes the best home made hair gel and full body wax. Get off my TV!!!...


-Disgraced former NBA ref and degenerate gambler, Tim Donaghy was given a 15 month sentence this week for his role in an NBA betting scandal. For many, it signals the end of the NBA's gambling issues. For me, some of the things I learned throughout this incident tell me the league is far from clean, and will have to deal with this shit again in the not too distant future. Think about this. If the gambler that Donaghy was tipping off said he won on 37 of the 47 games he was told to bet on, then how hard could it possibly be to fix these things? And if that's the case, what does that tell you about the so called "importance" of coaching, scouting, and conditioning programs? One little punk can make a few calls and alter the outcome of the game? Something still doesn't sound right in all of this, which makes me think theirs no way it's over...


-Brett Favre is still a tool, but he has now officially applied for reinstatement from the NFL. All that means is you can now start the countdown. Not til when he takes the field, and not til when he's traded. I'm talking about the countdown to when he decides that he doesn't wanna play anymore, and actually decides to hang 'em up for good. I mean, that's gotta be what's comin' next, right?...



-And in a related story, two University of Virginia football players were arrested this weekend when they were caught stealing beer from a cooler at a well known Charlottesville gay bar. Having been mistakenly led into a gay bar by a friend myself this weekend, I guess I can kind of see where these guys are comin' from. Granted the bar I was in for all of 5 minutes (we did go back just to make sure) didn't have a cooler to steal beers from, but based on the reaction most of us had while inside, I'd say that would have been the least offensive criminal act we were prepared to commit had we been there any longer. And yes, it is true that they were tracked down by a pink Vespa ridden by officer Lance Bass as he wailed "woooo! wooooooo! pull ova!...hey...woooo! woooo! come onnnn pull OH-VA! honey!"

...on second thought. After looking at the pics, I think these guys weren't so much stealing, as they just forgot to pay. They got their beers, but upon realizing they didn't have cups, proceeded to the bathroom to get the good head they were looking for...


-And not to be outdone, the Cavaliers Western neighbors in Morgantown are also in the news this week. Heisman contending QB, Pat White, called the school's baseball coach a racist, while another one of his teammates currently sits in a Morgantown jail cell on some sort of shady murder charge. Come on. Whatever happened to burnin' coaches and swillin' moonshine fellas?...

Patriots Update
Well Foxboro is buzzing as camp is now in full swing. The "Humble Pie" t-shirts are in full force, and the "we're focused on this year" lines can already be heard raining down at every press conference. Here again are a few thoughts on what's been going on in Foxboro as the NFL season inches ever closer...



-The Patriots picked up former Oakland and Jet running back, LaMont Jordan, this weekend in an effort to bolster what already seems to be a more than adequate backfield. While I can't argue with adding depth just for the sake of depth, I must admit I'm very interested to see how much, if at all, Jordan will play during the '08 campaign. He's just as good a receiver as he is a runner, but with Maroney, Morris and Faulk already accounting for most the RB touches, it's tough to imagine exactly when he's going to play. Then again, injuries happen, which is why this seems to be just another in a long line of shrewd moves by the Patriots personnel department. I knew there was a reason I trusted this team...

Jordan's career #'s: http://www.pro-football-reference.com/players/J/JordLa00.htm



-My moles @ Gillette tell me that the most impressive rookie in camp so far has been the new #22 in the defensive backfield, rookie Terrence Wheatley. Not only has he been a quick study and quick on his feet, but apparently has been excelling at Belichick's new edict of pushing WR's out of bounds. Hey, the league created the new "push out" rule, so leave it to the Hoodie to expose it more than Janet Jackson's nipple. Now we just have to wait for Colts GM Bill Polian to complain, and everything will have come full circle...




-Oh and as if you need any more reasons to watch the Pats this year, I give you 18 year old New England cheerleader, Becca Lewis, in all her barely-legal glory. Sure I hijacked this shit from deadspin.com, but they jacked it from some other dude, so it's all good. Now the only question is, how long until she's named as the latest reason that Manny Ramirez's marriage has gone in the shitter. Hey, I figure that guy gets blamed for everything else, so why the Hell not? But again, I knew there was a reason I trusted this team. Ay carumba!...

(you can find the rest of her pics @ bustedcoverage.com if you're interested)

-Finally, I have to thank my main mens Rob and Seante for passin' this little piece of viral video on to me while I was hangin' in the city. Make sure you have the volume pumped up, and your eyes ready to read some hilarious captions. Enjoy, and I'll catch you next week...



SALAD!...I'm out...

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