Go Shorty...

Twenty-five years ago today, something so groundbreaking and revolutionary occurred. Something so spectacular, so unique, that it shook the sports and entertainment world to it's very core. No, I'm not talking about the opening of the first Hooters. I'm talking about the birth of yours truly. That's right kids, I'm 25 today and feelin' good to be alive! I feel as though I've accomplished something simply by making it this far, and I'm more than pumped to keep on pimpin' for another quarter century. Hell, I figure if Keith Richards is still alive, then I got at least another 60 years to look forward to, right? Anyway. As much as I'd love to sit here and talk about how cool I am, or how important my birthday is, I'm gonna have to take advice from Dave Chappelle instead. He's on my shoulder right now, in a little angel/devil type scenario, and according to his plan I just have one thing left to do. I told you it's my birthday. And in hope of reaching the all important "hip hop" demographic, I have to tell you that "I don't give a fuck that it's my birthday." It's a celebration, bitches!! And I hope you enjoy your weekend as thoroughly as I will be enjoying mine. Now, it's time for the show...

Well Championship Week is in full swing, and with seemingly more teams than ever on the NCAA tourney bubble, it's gonna be a great 2 weeks of ball leading up to Selection Sunday on March 16th. Naturally, I got some things to say about the current state of the game, and I'll finish it up with my last top 10 of the '07-'08 season...

-Theres still no greater rivalry in the world of college hoops than the one between Duke and North Carolina. Those two squads will meet at Cameron Indoor Stadium on Saturday, where the Heels will look to avenge a home loss earlier this year to the Dukies. A game in which Roy Williams saw his boys give up an astonishing 13 3-pointers while suffering an 11 point defeat. Not only will Carolina be out for revenge, but they'll also be looking to lock up the ACC regular seasons crown and gain the inside track to a #1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. Make no mistake about it, one of these teams is going to have a #1 seed, and this game will play a big part in determining who gets it. The big difference in this meeting, aside from the trust-fund freaks lining the court known as the "Cameron Crazies," will be the return of UNC point guard, Ty Lawson. He was noticeably absent from the first meeting with an injury, and the way he controls the tempo will make this match up vastly different than the first. A lot like Paulus for Duke, Lawson is this team's MVP, the glue guy. He's the one that makes his team go, and will be the one that determines ultimately how far North Carolina will go this season. I like him to be a big factor in this game, and I like UNC to come out on top. Make no mistake, there's no tougher place to play in all of sports than Cameron Indoor Stadium. But that advantage can only help you so much, and with a healthy squad, I just think Hansbrough and crew will have too much firepower for the Dukies to slow them down...

-Another game this Saturday that's gonna go a long way towards shaping a conference is the Louisville/Georgetown game. The two squads sit tied atop the Big East with identical 14-3 records, and like in the game above, the winner will also be in great position come NCAA Selection Sunday. Louisville is in a similar situation to Duke. They already beat Georgetown this year, and a second win would make it extremely tough for the Hoyas to gain a higher NCAA seed, no matter what happens in the Big East tourney. I expect this game to be just as good as Duke/UNC, just minus the bells and whistles. Big East basketball is a lot like Big 10 football. Defense. Defense. Defense. Smart offensive possessions. Of course there will be scoring, but more in the half court set than in the transition game. Georgetown is gonna look to slow the game down and run their offense through Roy Hibbert and DaJuan Summers, but I think that might feed right into the Cardinals' strength. Center David Padgett is finally healthy, and is probably the most well rounded big man in division 1 hoops. He's not the most talented, but he's good enough so that combined with his amazing decision making and efficiency, he's the perfect guy to throw a wrench into G'Town's plans on both ends of the court. He tallied 18 points and 4 rebounds in their 8 point win on February 9th, and I expect his play to be what propels Louisville to their 10th straight win, and most importantly, the 2008 Big East regular season championship...

-There's always a player that shines in the first few rounds of the NCAA tourney and is able to carry his "below average" team on his back to the Sweet 16. Two years ago I gave you the heads up on Bradley's sophomore center Patrick O'Bryant, who led the Indians to the Sweet 16, and himself to pile of NBA Draft Lottery loots. This year, that guy very well could be Oklahoma freshmen big man, Blake Griffin. He might be a little dinged up, and the Sooners may still be very much on the bubble, but if they get to dancin', he's gonna be a bad match up for virtually every possible opponent. Head coach, and former Dukie, Jeff Capel landed a beauty in the 6'10" frosh, who's averaging a little over 15 points and 9 rebounds a game. I know the Sooners aren't that great of a team, but I really like Griffin's chances to do some serious work if he can get back to near 100% before the Big Dance. Maybe it's just the journalist in me that likes to look for story lines instead of letting them happen, but I've seen it happen so many times I can't help myself and try to predict "who's next?". A lot like Wall Szcerbiak, Dwayne Wade and Patrick O'Bryant before him, I expect Blake Griffin to be the player where after the tourney everyone is sayin' "How'd we miss this guy all year long?". Just keep yer eye out for him, and remember who gave you the heads up...

-And speaking of predictions, I came to a realization this week in regards to the NCAA selection process that I'd like to share. So often around this time of year, you see what the analysts like to call a "blind test." You know, they take two teams, remove their names, and just show you their raw numbers like record, conference record, RPI and strength of schedule. Basically, it's a way to remove any bias in regards to traditional powers, and let the teams speak on their merits instead of their perception in the national media. It's not a bad tool to use, but the more I've thought about it, the more I think it's taking the cheap and easy way out. You need to know the name of the team's you're comparing, because in order to make an accurate selection, you need to have seen them play! Computer numbers are a useful tool, but if all these blind simulations I see on TV are representative of how the field is picked, then I'd have to say I have some serious beef. Believe me, I don't want Kentucky or Syracuse getting in based on namesake, but I don't want some scrub team getting in mostly based on their computer profile. My three biggest factors when it comes to picking a bubble team are 1) how they've played in their last 12 games 2) who they played in those 12 games and 3) the strength of their overall schedule for the entire season. Those numbers will tell me which teams are dangerous and ready to make a run, as opposed to those teams that might be backing into an NCAA berth. The computer numbers will relfect some of that stuff, but those important factors can often get dilluded when you add in fillers like RPI, conference strength, and "key wins." Too often we're shocked when teams with good computer numbers get left out of the field, but I think as long as the "hot" teams get rewarded, then it's all good. The teams that have the best chance to advance, and the best chance to make their game entertaining, are the teams playing their best ball right now, and that's not information you can get by reading a computer print out...

-Oh and another thing to look out for is losses on "Senior Night." If you like a team, don't get discouraged if they lose on the road when it's the oppositions last home game of the season. Emotions run high in those games for both the players and the crowd, and the team usually plays at the highest level it's played all season long. It's intimidating for a visiting team, and by no way is representative of how those teams would fare should they meet on a neutral court. Give a nod to those teams that are able to fight through and win on an opponents Senior Night, and a minus to those who can't hold their own home court. But when it comes to road games, it's usually OK to give the visiting team a pass on even the most lopsided of losses...

-Here's the final top 10 of the season boys and girls. That's right. The next time I bring the funk, I'll be breaking down the magical field of 64, giving you all the heads up on ways to beat your bracket, and walk away with the casheesh. Unless of course I'm the one trying to win your casheesh...but I'll get to that later...

College Hoops Top 10

1. UCLA (28-2) 1

2. North Carolina (28-2) 2

3. Tennessee (27-3) 3

4. Kansas (27-3) 7

5. Memphis (29-1) 5

6. Texas (25-5) 4

7. Xavier (25-5) 6

8. Louisville (24-6) 8

9. Duke (26-3) 9

10. Wisconsin (25-4) NR

just missed: Stanford, Vanderbilt, Georgetown, Notre Dame, Gonzaga, Marquette, Indiana

dropped: (10) Vanderbilt

-There's just under two weeks to go until the field of 64 begins to devour itself, so pretty much every game from here on out is vital. If you still need help, here's a list of some of the conference tournaments gearin' up this week, as well as those that will be handing out their automatic bids (*). Check 'em out...

Friday

Missouri Valley Conference Tourney

MAAC Tourney

West Coast Conference Tourney

Colonial Conference Tourney

Southern Conference Tourney

Saturday

UNC @ Duke

Louisville @ Georgetown

Stanford @ USC

Marquette @ Syracuse

UAB @ Memphis

Atlantic Sun Championship Game*

Ohio Valley Championship Game*

Big South Championship Game*

Sunday

Michigan St. @ Ohio St.

Oklahoma St. @ Texas

Virginia Tech @ Clemson

Kent St. @ Akron

Missouri Valley Championship Game*

Monday

MAAC Championship Game*

West Coast Conference Championship Game*

Colonial Championship Game*

Southern Conference Championship Game*

-I hope Ian was able to locate the Syracuse game this week, as I dressed it up in orange for him. As for the rest of the games, like I said, they're all big from here on out. Try not to get caught up in how some of these crappy conference tournaments play out, but make sure to walk the fine line, and look out for those underdogs that could turn into Cinderella's come the Big Dance. It's key to find that team that will bust everyone else's bracket, but rocket yours to the top. Those teams, usually start their runs right about now, so be on the lookout...

Red Sox Update

-Jonathan Papelbon really makes me laugh. If he's not on the field yelling and pumping his fists, he's dancin' around in celebration with a 30 rack box on his head. Simply put, the guy is an entertainer. But to be honest, a lot of what makes Paps a funny guy, is the fact that he's a down-home hick, with slightly more sense than God gave a Dung Beetle. So forgive me if when I hear him ask for more money despite the fact he's under contract, I chalk it up to a young, dumb kid, not knowing exactly how the game works. It's like this. When the Sox signed Papelbon out of college, they made a deal that gives them the right to pay him whatever they want, for his first 3 full years of major league service. After that, Paps becomes "arbitration eligible," which means he can take the Sox to an arbitrator who will then determine what he should be paid. What's happened, is that many teams chose to renegotiate with their young players before they hit arbitration, or they give them a raise before hand to help grease the wheels for future dealings. The Phillies, for instance, didn't need to pay Ryan Howard a penny over $550,000 this season if they didn't want, but decided to give him a pay bump to $900K in order to keep things running smoothly and show their appreciation. Paps is looking for the same kind of courtesy, and while the Sox to gave him a raise to $775K, he's totally went about it in the wrong way. The fans don't wanna hear him bitch about money, so when he took his complaint to the media, it came off as spoiled and arrogant. My point is, I don't think the dude was smart enough to realize that's what he was doing. Call it "stupid like a fox," if you will, but I just think the guy speaks his mind, and doesn't really know any better. He woke up that morning feeling underpaid, so he told the press he wanted more cakes. Tomorrow, he'll wake up with gas, and he'll probably tell them that too. He's just not that bright. Evidenced by when he let his dog eat the World Series ball. For those that want to view this as Paps being unhappy, and that he might want to bolt Boston in the next few seasons, I'd consider the source...

-In other news: Colon is still fat, Lowell still has a creepy half-stash, Manny hasn't left yet to go tend to an ailing relative, and none of the pitchers arms have fallen off yet. So we're all good...

If you really crave more Sox news, then check out the Boston.com link to the right of the page. They have a great Sox blog there that will keep even the most rampant Boston fan happier than Quagmire at a Miley Cyrus concert...Holy statutory those chicks look hot! Giggity-giggity-gig-a-deeeeeeee.....

News and Notes

-In case you've been stuck under the Madden Cruiser for the past week, you've heard by now that the great Brett Favre has decided to call it a career. Personally, I won't believe he's retired until 2 years have gone by and he hasn't taken a single NFL snap, but as we sit here today it certainly appears that #4 is hanging them up for good. Excuse me if I don't believe him just yet, but even in his teary press conference he said he "could play," but "didn't know" if he wanted to anymore. Doesn't know, huh? I know he said he couldn't handle the game mentally anymore, but he just didn't totally convince me in his press conference that he's givin' this thing up for good. Somethin' about all this just doesn't seem right to me, and I won't start lickin' Favre's junk like ESPN until I'm totally convinced he's done playing. Let's let Bill Parcells take a run at him this summer, and let him sit there and watch while training camps start. Then we'll really see who's retired, and who was just a little grumpy when the Pack didn't go after Randy Moss for the second consecutive time in this off season. That's right, I'm suggesting this is just a knee jerk reaction by a pissed off Favre, and it's gonna take more than a few days and a few tears to convince me otherwise. It's just like Papelbon. One day Favre's tired and doesn't want to play. And the next day, he's all hawked up on pain killers, ready to chuck the bean and start makin' Wrangler jean commercials. Frank Caliendo/John Madden said it best. "Half the grass is fake, and half the grass is real, but Brett Favre is ALL real." There's no doubt his career was All real, but only time will tell if his retirement will hold strong like the FieldTurf, or fall apart at the first sight of a litle rain...

-It's been a busy off season so far for the New England Patriots. Most of the news has been dominated by the exit of Asante Samuel and the resigning of Randy Moss, but there have been some critical moves made in the past few days that have flown under the radar. Seeing as I'm here to make sure all you pimps stay up to speed, here's a little breakdown of some of the comings and goings up at Gillette...

Gone

CB Asante Samuel (Philadelphia)

CB Randall Gay (New Orleans)

DB Eugene Wilson (free agent)

WR Donte Stallworth (Cleveland)

TE Kyle Brady (free agent)

Re-Signed

WR Randy Moss

LS Lonnie Paxton

WR Jabar Gaffney

WR Kelley Washington

LB Tedy Bruschi

LB Larry Izzo

New Additions

FS Tank Williams (Minnesota)

CB Jason Webster (Buffalo)

WR Sam Aiken (Buffalo)

Draft

Despite losing their own first round pick in the wake of SpayGate, the Pats still own picks in every round of this year's draft, including 2 third round picks. I'd also expect them to trade down on the first round from their #7 slot unless Ohio St. DE Vernon Gholston is available...

-Looking at those moves tells me a few things. 1) they've really gone out of their way early to sure up their special teams. Resigning guys like Washington and Izzo, along with bringing it guys like Webster and Aiken also bring strength to an already established unit. 2) the addition of Tank Williams tells me the coaching staff is probably thinking about using last year's #1 pick, Brendan Merriwether, as more of a corner than a safety. Bringing in Tank, an established big hitter, will allow the versatile Merriwether to be more aptly used at corner, a position the Pats always seem willing to trust to a youngster. 3) armed with a first round pick they're unlikely to use based on financials, it looks as if the Pats will make a move and trade for a veteran DB, LB or possibly a veteran running back. They can address these needs in the draft, but based on their complex 3-4 defensive scheme, I would think they'd rather throw a few more veteran defenders into the immediate mix. At RB, they could use a reliable backup to Laurence Maroney. If they don't feel Sammy Morris can bounce back, then I'd think they would want to add another back via free agency rather than the draft. One of the most important jobs for a backup RB in this system, is to block for Tom Brady. And I just think they'd feel better with a veteran in that role, rather than having a rookie learn on the job...

Anyway, those are just a few thoughts I wanted to throw out there, so make of them what you will. I know a lot of you like to be kept up to speed on the latest goings on around the team, so I help I was able to help you out. Again, if you still feel the need for all thing's Pats, check out Mike Reiss's blog (link on the right), where he has all the breaking up to the minute news regarding the Local 22. Just make sure you come back to my site when you're done, or I'll be forced to send spam emails to you, asking if you want to enlarge your penis by 4 or more inches. Think I'm bluffin'? Try me and see, punks!...

-Allow me to be the contrarian, and tell you why it's a bad thing that the Celtics signed Sam Cassell. On the surface, it looks like the perfect move. It adds needed depth at point guard, brings in a guy that's known for his play and big games, and someone who's played with success along side both Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. In that sense, it appears as though the move is fortifying one of the team's biggest weaknesses. Not so fast my friend! What his move does, is EXPOSE the Celts biggest weakness, head coach Glen Rivers. While Cassell is a great player, he's also a very different player than Rajon Rondo. There in lies the problem. Now, instead of putting Rondo out there all the time barring foul trouble, Doc has the option of throwing Sam I Am (trying to bang these co-eds) in the game. I can already here the talk radio discussion now for when the Celts get bounced from the Eastern Conference, or possibly even the NBA Finals. "Why did Doc have Rondo in when the Celts needed scoring?" or "Why was Cassell guarding that guy at the end of the game when Rondo was available?". See, up until now, all the decisions for Doc have been pretty easy ones. His only task thus far, has been to sit back and watch the Big 3 do their thing. I give him credit for not screwing that up (so far), but I just think that giving him too many choices to make down the stretch just isn't such a great idea. Let's face it. He's not a smart guy, no matter what his nickname may suggest, and I think the pressure of the playoffs is going to expose him more than Roger Clemens on Moment of Truth...

-As if there were any doubts as to whether or not LeBron James has arrived as a superstar (and I don't think there were that many), they were silenced Wednesday night at Madison Square Garden. It wasn't his 50 points that did it for me, because let's face it, the Knicks suck. What did it, was that he told Spike Lee he was gonna score 50, and then went out and hit it right on the number. Lee, who's famous for his feuds with Reggie Miller and his commercials with Michael Jordan, is as much a part of the NBA culture as strippers and cocaine, and the fact that LeBron now has his very own "Spike Lee moment", means he has officially arrived at the pinnacle of his sport. It's like a rite of passage. You know, like sleeping with Pam Anderson if you're aspiring to be a white trash, drugged up musician of some kind. OR like if you're the new scrawny white kid in prison, and you have to go to the leader of the Arian Nation and...OK well I think you get it. It's just good to see LeBron and Spike goin' at it a little. They're both entertaining guys, and I like how they take advantage of the fact they can mix it up a little during the game. Stuff like that makes the game more interesting to watch, and helps create a sort of aura or atmosphere around the guy. It's a very Jordan-esque qaulity to have, and LeBron's got it. I'm just glad he's started to show it a lot more...

-And seeing as my style perfectly blurs the line between sports and entertainment (and at certain times urinates directly on said line), who better to end my birthday week on than everyones favorite reality TV dad that's not that drunken midget, Hulk Hogan! That's right, brother! Word on the street, is that the recently single Hulkster was in a romantic relationship with a friend of his 19-year-old flirtatious, slam-pig of a daughter, Brooke. OK, so the woman was 33 years old, but I still like the looks of that headline. I always had an inkling when I watched Hogan Knows Best that Hulk wanted to violate Brooke in the most unholy way, so it would have made perfect sense to me for the Hulk to be fornicatin' with a gal his daughter's age. Now that his ex Linda is reportedly out of sight and on the sauce, I figure he'd need a nice piece of pre-college ass to help erase the memories of her sagging jugs and stretched out skin. I figured Brooke had a friend over, and the Hulkster walked in on her changing, and one thing led to another. But, alas, it's not true, and whatever relationship there was is apparently over anyway. Oh well. Sometimes things are just too good to be true, and though the Hogan's might be royally screwed in the head, they haven't gone completely off the deep end. C'mon Hulk, look at your daughter! How long you gonna be able to resist tappin' that dude you so lovingly call your little girl? So gross, but God help me it seems so likely...

OK man, that's it for me. I'm off to enjoy my birthday weekend. Anyone interested in joining my NCAA tourney pool can get in touch with me for details, or go join my pool at http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/9283?b=er (you need a Yahoo account to sign up). You want to join the group named Kelvin Samsung, with ID # 9283, and a password of "glenriversmd". To get all the details and rules, feel free to email me at bferruccio@gmail.com or holla at a playa when you see him in the streets (that would sound a lot more pimp if Stuart Scott hand't already played it out). I know most of you don't have what it takes to tangle with this big boy when it comes to the Big Dance, but having the stones to even try and slay this dragon will totally win you my admiration. Just probably not any of my money...... Muahahahaha...Later pimps. I'll catch you in the next quarter century of the journey I like to call my life. Somethin' tells me it's gonna be baller, so you're gonna wanna be along for the ride...ONE!...