Pages

Friday, February 22, 2008

Memphis, Tennessee...

Greetings again ladies and gents. Hope you all enjoyed my Top Ten List on Tuesday, but now it's back to business with the latest news and offerings from the world of sports and pop culture. Let's get to it...
-I'm starting off the week by continuing to defend the criticism of my conference rankings a few weeks back. In response to me having the SEC has my #1 conference at the time, my friend Ian demanded that I explain myself. He said he could see possibly another conference besides the Big East being #1, but thought that having the SouthEastern Conference being the one to do so seemed a little far fetched. I said that while the rankings mostly reflected my opinion and my "eye test", I felt the SEC was a better conference because it had more balance. More to the point, I said that while the SEC had 4 of it's 12 teams in the RPI top 50, while the Big East only had 7 of 16 teams in that zone. I also added that while Tennessee was #1, the best Big East representation at the time was Georgetown at #8. My claim was, that despite having more teams in the top 50, the Big East also had MORE teams out of the top 50 (9) than did the SEC (8). Semantics, I know, but that's what I said, and I'm right. Ian came back with the percentages, and how a larger percentage of the Big East was in, and I get all that, I just happen not to agree. I don't live and die by the RPI, I live and die by what I see on the court. At the time, I liked the top 6 of Tennessee, Vandy, Florida, Mississippi St., Arkansas and Ole Miss over the Big East's Georgetown, Louisville, Notre Dame, UCONN, Marquette and Pitt. Would my opinion be the same as I sit here today? Probably not, but that's how I felt at the time (now the Pac 10 would be #1). This whole thing is just a beauty in the eye of the beholder situation, and where one man sees gold the other might see garbage. Guess we'll know who the real genius was when these teams start to make their respective NCAA tourney runs...


-The real news in college hoops this week is the battle between #1 Memphis and #2 Tennessee set to go down this Saturday night. It's two great teams, two interstate rivals, and to make it even sweeter, it's a non-conference game just one day before the start of March. Gotta love those, man. In my opinion, the most difficult part of picking the NCAA Tournament games, is that you can really only hold teams up to other teams in their conference when trying to figure out how good they are. Sure, they may have played other squads in their pre-conference slate, but that was months ago. This game in particular, should give us a good idea of who really is the best team in the country. In my eyes, Tennessee wouldn't be a resounding #1 if they were to win, but a loss for Memphis would certainly tell me they were no longer the team to beat. Sounds a little skewed, I know, but follow me. Can I really reward Tennessee for winning a game that teams like Kansas, UCLA and UNC never got a chance to play? Of course not. I can give them credit for winning, but what's to say in watching them win I don't also think that those other teams I mentioned would have also been able to get the job done? Well we can cross (or burn) that bridge when we get to it. As for how I see this shaking down, really only one word comes to mind. Hectic. Memphis can score and run with the best of 'em, and if Bruce Pearl chooses to stick to his guns, the Vols will be running and pressing all game long. That's the thing with Tennessee to keep in mind. They play the same way when they're up 20 as they do when they're down 20. No lead is safe against them, and no lead is too big for them to surrender. One tip I would have for Pearl and his boys would be to put the #1 Tigers at the free throw line as often as possible. Memphis stars Chris Douglas-Roberts (CDR), Derrick Rose and Robert Dozier can light it up from the floor, but as a team Calipari's group is the WORST in the Nation shooting a shade over 58% from the charity stripe. That's a stat that certainly scares me when it comes to the tourney, but if nobody's been able to expose that weakness in their first 24 games, makes you wonder if anyone will from here on out. I like Memphis to hold home court in a tight, well fought, high scoring game. They're a little too big inside, and they're just a little too deep for the Vols to handle. Guess we'll see on Saturday. Make sure you don't miss it...


-And for proof that not every program can be as hard working and as classy as the two above, I bring you the Oregon St. Beavers. Before their home game against the Washington Huskies last week, several Beavers went down to the Huskies practice and taunted them during layup lines. Led by genius Marcel Jones, the (6-19) Oregon State players (who are also 0-13 in the Pac 10), warned the Huskies that this was "their house", and that they "didn't want any of this". As if that wasn't enough, Jones allegedly called the team hotel, and asked the Huskies to come meet him in the parking lot to fight! What is this guy's deal? Well, at least you can't say he wasn't pumped for the game, right? Must have gone out and really backed up his smack, huh? Sure did. Jones dropped a cool 2 beans, and the Beav promptly got blown out at home by 38 points. That's so funny it's just sad...


-Another guy that might want to learn to keep his yap shut, is Coach K of the Duke Blue Devils. Fresh off a week of trading barbs with UNC's Roy Williams, K and his Dukies promptly go out and lose to both Wake Forest and the Miami Hurricanes. Looks like you need to stick to makin' cheezy commercials, and keep convincing those scrappy whities you recruit to take more charges than PacMan Jones' credit card at "Uncle Willy's Breasts, Wings and Thighs: Where the only thing greasier than the chicken, is the bitches on stage"...complete with a complimentary "white T"...


-On top of all that, make sure to keep these insightful nuggets in mind while you're browsing my top 10, and passing judgment on how good these teams are...


*Duke has no depth, and therefore can't be trusted...


*With the Kelvin Sampson situation in Indiana; anyone that can tell you how that team is going to react to that, is lying. Either that, or they may be some sort of gypsy, and you should look into having them hung in the town square...


*Make sure to look up when you walk out of the house, because there's a chance you might get smacked in the grill piece by Roy Hibbert's plummeting NBA Draft stock. I thought this guy had a good chance to get better, but it turns out he's just getting uglier. Never a good sign for the future...

*Bracket Buster Sunday (where all the Mid-Majors cross over to play each other and help their tourney resumes) is closely behind the end of the year conference tourney's when it comes to entertainment, so make sure to catch as many of these gems as you can....


*Xavier is still much better than most of you think, and are peaking at the right time, winning their last nine straight. Oklahoma transfer Drew Lavender is a dynamic playmaker and makes this team a serious force to be reckoned with...



*Come Sunday morning, either Drake or Butler will be officially tagged as the Nation's top Mid Major. OK, Xavier is #1, but I was just tryin' to be nice to those Atlantic 10 fans out there. Go Duquesne? Anyway. Whoever comes out on top in this one will definitely have the edge when it comes tourney seeding time, as both have similar resumes, and are expected to have similar performances in their respective conference tournaments...


All right, I'm out of juice. Just check my top 10 out...


College Hoops Top 10
1. Memphis (26-0) 1
2. Tennessee (24-2) 2
3. UCLA (24-2) 3
4. Kansas (24-2) 4
5. Xavier (23-4) 7
6. North Carolina (25-2) 6
7. Texas (22-4) 9
8. UCONN (21-5) 10
9. Duke (22-3) 4
10. Washington St. (21-5) NR

just missed: Purdue, Vandy, Butler, Louisville, Indiana, Wisconsin, Marquette

dropped: (8) Purdue


If you've gotten this far and still aren't convinced I have no idea what I'm yappin' aabout, then read up on what games you're gonna need to watch this weekend to keep pace with my madness...

Friday
Davidson @ Winthrop


Saturday
Tennessee @ Memphis
UCONN @ Villanova
Arkansas @ Kentucky
Oregon @ UCLA
Oklahoma @ Texas
Kansas @ Oklahoma St.
Kansas St. @ Baylor
Arizona @ Washington St.


Saturday Bracket Buster Games
Drake @ Butler
Kent St. @ St. Mary's
Nevada @ Southern Illinois
Virginia Commonwealth @ Akron
Creighton @ Oral Roberts
George Mason @ Ohio
Siena @ Boise St.


Sunday
Louisville @ Pittsburgh
Wake Forest @ UNC
Syracuse @ Notre Dame
Wisconsin @ Ohio St.
Xavier @ Dayton
St. Joseph's @ Rhode Island
California @ Stanford


Monday
Texas @ Kansas St.
Marquette @ Villanova
San Diego @ St. Mary's


It's gonna be a great weekend for college hoops, but I'm pretty much gonna be sayin' that about every weekend from here on out...


Red Sox Update
It's the season debut of the Red Sox Update, so let's just get right down to bidness...



-Manny Ramirez showed up to camp on time for the first time in what seems like forever, and it appears obvious to me the reason why. At season's end, he loses control. The Sox have $20 million option deals for '09 and 2010, but as far as Manny's concerned, he's about to lose control. Sooooo. Maybe that's why we saw a usually camera shy Ramirez on the front page of the Globe and Herald a few weeks back going through a strenuous workout with other top pros at a training facility in Arizona, huh? Then at a press conference on Thursday, he went as far as to say he now wanted to stay in Boston, but that it was no longer up to him. Play the sympathy card with the fans much? Geez. Fact is, the way the market has changed since he originally signed his deal, $20 mil a year isn't lookin' so bad right now. But good looks by the Sox on waiting to pick those suckers up. If ManRam doesn't bounce back from his 20 homers and 88 RBI from a year ago to his normal 30/120 range this year, it just might finally be the prudent thing for Theo Epstein and the Sox front office to let him walk away...


-Another contract situation to watch is that of manager Terry Francona. He too is in the last year of his deal, and for the life of me I can't totally understand why this thing isn't getting done. Unless there's some sort of organizational philosophy, a-la-Moneyball, that prevents that manager from makin' loots, then just give this guy his 5 years and $25 mil and be done with it. I know Theo has many Moneyball-like aspects to his managerial game, but I would have figured he would have ponied up the loots by now. It's a drop in the bucket money-wise, and it's not like there's anyone you could bring in now that would command the respect that Tito's now 2 World Series rings bring to the table.....Cito Gaston better not be walkin' through that door!!...


-Not feeling the love so much is my former fantasy baseball team namesake, CokeHo Crisp. Covelli came out earlier this week and basically said that he ain't no backup, and if that's what he's gonna be, then he wouldn't mind leaving town. Terry Francona toed the company line of "we want Coco on this team", and to tell you the truth I bet that's exactly how he feels. What he doesn't say there, is that he wants him to take some pressure off Jacoby Ellsbury, and eventually slot himself in to the 4th outfielder/speedy bench guy. Coke wants no part of that, and will prolly find himself Jay Payton'ed sooner rather than later. Sure do hate to see him go, but I wouldn't mind if his exodus resulted in an extra arm or two. It's tough to give up on Coke, but sometimes it's better do to it early, before it ruins your life. I mean "he". And by life I meant team. Ah forget it...


-Last note for the week. Curt Schilling is still a big, fat media-whore, and I for one will be shocked if he pitches a single effective inning the entire season. Adios, fat man. Don't let McCain's dong hitcha on yer way out...


Diamonds...She'll Pretty Much Have To

-I just couldn't resist. It's not like I just saw that Family Guy clip for the first time recently, but the last time I saw it, something in my head just clicked. At first, I thought I might be having a stroke, but then I realized I had just stumbled across the perfect name for my baseball notes section for this upcoming season. It doesn't really apply to the sport as aptly as "Diamonds Are Forever" did. But the fact that it has diamonds in the title, has shadow felatio, and is rather hysterical, are all strong enough selling points for me. Now, on with the show...


-Barry Bonds says he's in great shape and ready to play this year.....Yep, that was a roided out tree falling in the woods, and from what I can tell, not a single GM heard it make a sound. Better luck next time, Bar. See you across the street from the Hall of Fame in a few years trying to sell autographed copies of "The White Man Hates Me" by Barry Bonds and Joe Morgan....


-Oh, and Roger Clemens pulled out of a scheduled event with Disney this weekend because he thought he might be a distraction. Why's that, Rog? Because you didn't use performance enhancing drugs? Or because you didn't want Tinkerbell to accidentally hit up with a swipe of her wand, and give you another abscess on your ass. After all, that's where you're sayin' the first one came from, right?


Meanwhile, his little pal Andy Pettitte addressed the media this week and said that while he was sorry for what he did, he didn't consider himself a cheater. Hmmm. You took a substance that you knew you shouldn't be taking (cheating). You obtained it illegally (cheating). You didn't tell anyone about it (you knew you were cheating). And you didn't come forward until you were caught (lying bastard). I feel the vibe he's sendin' out there, but trying to make yourself look better than other roiders doesn't make you a saint. STOP GIVING GUYS A PASS FOR TELLING THE TRUTH AFTER THEY GET CAUGHT! Yes it makes them better than guys like Rose, Barry, OJ and Rocket, but it still makes them dispicable cheaters. Taking credit for coming clean is about as genuine as "not to be racist, but..."


And finally, I'd like to end on a positive story. OK, maybe it's only positive because it's funny to me, but it's still more uplifting than a bunch of rich, cry-baby cheaters. After getting out of the hot tub at his rental property this week, young Houston Astro outfielder, Hunter Pence, got up and walked straight through a sliding glass door. The door shattered, he bloodied himself up, and he will of course have to miss time in Spring Training while his wounds heal up. Oh, and I'm assuming we are all led to believe that Pence was 100% sober when this happened, and that, like he claimed, someone else had shut the door after he himself had recalled leaving it open. Yeah I can feel that. I'm always gettin' all sobered up and walkin' through huge panes of glass. I'd rather he said he had tried to kill himself, and failed, than have him lie to me and tell me he just didn't see the door. I know Windex is good shit, bro. But it ain't that good....



News and Notes
Let's get things goin' today with a little SpyGate talk. According to NFL officials, the league is close to a deal with former Pats cameraman Matt Walsh that will provide him with all the protection he needs to start spillin' his guts over his alleged misdoings wile with the organization. Listen. I have no idea what went on here or what didn't go on here. And I don't know who told who to do what or who was taping people's conversations. All I know is I want this guy to tell us what he's got already! Show somebody the tape, or admit that you lied about making it. Either way, let's get this freakin' show on the road! I mean it's not like any body is gonna be surprised by the results of this thing no matter the outcome...







And for the Pats themselves, I'm not sure why they decided not to franchise Randy Moss, but I'll get to the bottom of it. As usual, I'm sure it's part of a plan so smart that it will take everyone not named Belichick and Pioli a few extra weeks to hash it all out. All in due time, kids. All in due time...


As if the recent restructuring of the league's power structure via some dank trades wasn't enough to get me excited about the NBA for the first time in forever, they go and drop this bomb on me. According to David Stern, The NBA will be playing an outdoor exhibition next season in a experiment that could eventually lead outdoor regular season games. Nice! As long as the game comes complete with double rims and rusty backboards, you can count me in. This even opens it up for a legit game one day between the NBA's best street ballers, and the best guys from the AND 1 Bus. Oh wait, those guys are all bums in the D-League. Well I'm still down for playin' the game outside. It's how I grew up playin' the game, and it's a different style of the game that I think both the fans and the players will really enjoy...


Oh, and while I'm talkin' NBA, how funny was that Knick/Sixer game on Wednesday night? Not only did Philly do work in blowing out the Knicks by 40 points, but the fans in attendance went out of their way to show why the City of Brotherly Hate has gained the reputation as where good vibes go to die. As time ran down on what was supposed to be a competitive NBA game, the Philly faithful began the chant of "Fire Isiah". Only in Philly. Their team is like 21-40 or whatever, and the thing they're celebrating is the fact that the opponents coach is a huge tard. Maybe Philly and Zeke just deserve each other. It's still a funny chant, it's just kinda sad at the same time...



If I had any doubt on whether or not I picked the right guy to be #1 on my All Time list this week, Tiger Woods did a great job of squashing it Wednesday afternoon. Down 3 holes through 13 to JB Holmes in the World Match Play Championships, T-Money just started goin' buck-nutty like only he can. Birdie, Birdie, Birdie, Eagle, Ballgame. Dude was sinkin' putts from 20 feet+ like he had a Buick commercial he forgot he had to shoot later that day. And that's the one thing that Tiger hasn't been able to really do in his career. Come back. But I guess someone must have told him that was the case around the 13th tee, because that's when he hit the gas and steamrolled to victory. He's just impressive, what can I say. And just when you think he might be plateauing or you've seen all he's got, he goes and throws in a virtuoso performance like this one. To update his progress, he beat Aaron Olberholser 3 & 2 in his 2nd round match, and will face off with Aaron Baddely in round 3. Needless to say, that fat left handed dude has already lost, and is no doubt in some king sized bed, spooning with Jared from Subway...Eat Phresh?...













So I'm flippin' through the channels the other day and I stumble across the Anna Nicole Smith E! True Hollywood Story. Intrigued by her large cans and her hunger for drugs, I decide to watch it for a while. I don't even get 5 minutes into the thing when who appears on my screen? Rusty freakin' Hardin, Roger Clemens little weasel of a mouthpiece. The whole thing went down when Anna's dead husband's son, who is older than her by like 30 years himself, was suing her to try and get all his dad's loots back...

(Anna starts to cry either because she's sad or high...or sad because she's not high)

Rusty: "You get yer self some actin' lessons with that money did ya?"

Anna (still sobbing): "Go to Hell, Rusty"


What a character that guy is. I mean, I guess it speaks to the fact that he must be pretty good if that rich oil guy hired him, but come on. This ain't the South, Rusty, and your gee shucks law tactics aren't gonna fly up here in the Non-Slave States. I don't know. Maybe I just thought it was oddly appropriate that while watching a story of a dim-witted Southerner kill their career with drug use, Rusty Hardin happened to pop up...


That's all I got for ya this week, kids. Hope everyone has a great weekend, and remember. Just because meth looks cool on TV, doesn't mean you should go out and try it. Unless you plan on taping it and posting it on YouTube, in which case I would appreciate if you passed that link on to me...

0 comments:

Post a Comment