Friday, January 25, 2008

The Anticipation is Killing Me!

What's pimpin' homies? I know if you're anything like me (and you should be thanking your lucky stars if that's the case), you're quickly realizing how utterly boring the week before the week before the Super Bowl can actually be. So, in lieu of boring you with a bunch of long, rehashed, stupid stories, I decided to simply shorten those stories, and make them as humorous as I can. Call them "notes" if you'd like, but whatever they are, they're my thoughts on what I've been hearing about the game so far. For lack of a better term, it is what it is, and with two weeks before this freakin' thing, it's gonna take all I got to go postal in anticipation. Gross. And I just puked a little in my mouth thinkin' about how many times the cameras are gonna pan to Peyton and Archie up in the press box during the game. Play this damn thing already, or I'll have to keep diggin' up pointless fluff like this...

-I'm not sayin' Eli Manning is Joe Namath, but seeing as has already eluded to it, and provided a funny photos to compare, I'm gonna run with it. They both play for a team from New York, they both aren't nearly as good as their supporters might have you believe, and they both went into Super Bowls as the biggest underdogs of their time. Oh, and they have both been captured in their dim-witted, drunken hick glory...

-Seems that when San Diego center, Nick Hardwick, called Richard Seymour a "dirty" player, it encouraged the rest of the league to chime in on the Pats and their playing etiquette. Now Osi Umenyiora is saying how if Matt Light thought the Pats might play the Giants again, he may not have pulled some of the cheap shit he did in week 17. My words, not his, but the point was the same. Listen, ladies. Cheap shots and "extra curricular" play is as much a part of the NFL as traveling is to the NBA. It happens...a lot. And while it might be against the "rules," it's just a part of the game you either need to get used to it, or find yourself another occupation. I'm not sayin' Seymour isn't dirty, but I'm sayin' it's part of the game. It might not be very "sportsmanlike," but it's just the way it is, so quit your bitchin.' When he gets fined, I'll listen...

-A lot has been made about how both Bill Belichik and Tom Coughlin were assistants under Bill Parcells, and how both use what the Tuna taught them in different ways. Hey, if trying to find a connection between these two will somehow make this game a little more interesting for ya, then by all means let the hunting begin. Me? I say just because they both worked for Parcells, doesn't mean shit. Sure he taught them some stuff, but both have had long careers since, and blatantly have different coaching styles. I like making comparisons and finding common traits as much as the next guy, but spare me this argument for the next week+ if you could...

-One guy who isn't lookin' so bright right now, is former Giants running back, and current "alleged heterosexual," Tiki Barber. Barber made no bones about the fact that Coughlin was the reason the Giants weren't better, and Coughlin was the reason he was choosing to retire. Good call on that one, man. Looks like your dumbass was the problem. And now that the G-Men are in the big game, I'm glad you have to sit there and analyze it on TV. Suck on those sour grapes you cheesy bastard...

-In the shock of the Super Bowl so far, Bill Belichick refused to address Tom Brady's alleged ankle injury at his Thursday press conference, instead telling the public they will have to wait 'til the injury report comes out on January 30th. This story needs to go away, anyway. Hurt or not, he's gonna play. IF it effects the Pats, it won't be good, but to think it's really all that serious based on what we've seen so far, is total overreaction...

-Oh, and you know who seems to be sliding through the cracks right now, is Randy Moss. With all the attention being heaped on all this other stuff seems to have given Moss the opportunity to lay low, and avoid questions about his little "consensual horseplay" incident. I mean, it's not like it won't be a focus during media week of the Super Bowl, but at least for now it seems the reporters have just let it go...

-OK, here's the final note...for now. Sports Illustrated's, "Dr. Z" is choosing the Giants to win the Super Bowl based on the fact that he regrets not betting on the Jets in Super Bowl III, despite having a strong hunch that they were gonna win. Yeah, great analysis, Doc...or should I just call you "Glen Z"? Now I see how you picked the Dolphins to win the Bowl two seasons ago. I know, I pick with my gut too, but when you're supposed to be representing logic like he claims to, then that justification is just asinine. Sounds like yet another valedictorian from the prestigious Hollywood Upstairs Medical College!

Now, my friends, it's time to get into a sport that's actually playing games this weekend, and that's NCAA basketball...

Right off the bat, I wanna let you guys know about the new ish I got goin' on with my College Hoops Top 10. Not to worry, it will still be updated once a week, but now it will also be posted all week long on the sidebar of my site, right next to the tunes and other fun stuff I got goin' on over there.

As for the goings on in the actual games lately, I'm stickin' with the "list" theme, and just firin' a few thoughts out there. Lazy? Maybe. Still pimpin'? You know!

-I've been pumpin' Baylor, and I've been pumpin' Drake, for a good chunk of this season already. All I wanna know is, where's the freakin' love, people? I get one shout-out from Frosco because I warned Butler about Cleveland State?! I know my awe inspiring prowess is intimidating, but you have to remember that I'm only as good as you think I am, so start giving me my freaking love already!

-To continue giving myself props, I wanna congratulate the national polls for finally recognizing the Memphis as the best team in the country. Welcome to the party, fellas. There's still some chips, but I done drank the dranks, and pimped out all the womenses.

On a serious note, this Saturday has an ass load of big games (all big games below), and even has the feel of a late season tourney bubble type battle. A lot of teams in the bigger conferences are at crossroads right now where a win means 2-3, and still in the hunt, and a loss means 1-4, and a serious uphill battle. Watching teams play when the chips are down can give you a great feel of how a team will play in the pressure of the NCAA tournament.

Granted, most of what I just said really wasn't "information" at all, but what you'll see next is the straight truth! I'll have more info on Tuesday about teams and players to keep an eye on this year. You never know, maybe I'll say that DJ White (above) and super frosh Eric Gordon could be a magical tandem for Kelvin Sampson and the Hoosiers. You'll just have to wait and see. For now, you can bask in the glow of the REAL top 10. I hope you enjoy...

College Hoops Top 10
1. Memphis (18-0) 1
2. Kansas (19-0) 4
3. UCLA (17-2) 2
4. North Carolina (19-1) 3
5. Indiana (17-1) 7
6. Tennessee (16-2) 5
7. Duke (16-1) 8
8. Washington St. (16-2) 6
9. Georgetown (15-2) 9
10. Butler (18-2) NR

just missed: Mississippi, Pittsburgh, Xavier, Drake, Kansas St.

dropped: (10) Mississippi

Gonzaga @ Memphis
Washington St. @ Arizona St.
Georgetown @ West Virginia
Notre Dame @ Villanova
UCONN @ Indiana
Texas A&M @ Oklahoma St.
Oklahoma @ Baylor
Mississippi @ Mississippi St.
Wisconsin @ Purdue
Texas Tech @ Texas
DePaul @ Marquette
Iowa St. @ Kansas St.
Virginia Tech @ Boston College
Creighton @ Southern Illinois

Xavier @ UMASS
Clemson @ Miami
Vanderbilt @ Florida
Duke @ Maryland
Providence College @ Syracuse

Saint Mary's @ San Diego
Oklahoma St. @ Oklahoma
Louisville @ UCONN

So make sure to watch those games...and while your at it, keep an eye out for weird shit like this...

News and Notes
*By now I'm sure some of you have heard this story, but to those that haven't here it is. Seeing as this guy has already explained the gist of it, I'll let him take it away. So go for it, weirdo...

For those of you not cool enough for video or sound, the guy in the video was commenting on ESPN's Dana Jacosbon and her remarks at the Mike & Mike Celebrity Roast in Atlantic City last week. A liquored up Jacobson, with a bottle of Belvedere in hand, was "roasting" Mike Golic when she said didn't give a fuck about Notre Dame. Fuck touchdown Jesus! And Fuck Jesus!...or something very close to those exact words. Hahahaha, WOW. I mean, it's enough that this broad already looks like a linebacker, but to know that she's drinkin' and talkin' like one to boot, makes me think I've been right on the money about her all along. By that I mean she's either a lesbian, which is fine, or a possible fem-dude, which is not cool at all. Either way, I think her rant was hysterical, if only for the fact that she got suspended for a week from First Pizza, and for that matter, for proving that pretty much the only people that like Notre Dame, are the people that went to that loser factory. Good work, "Dan," you're now officially one of the coolest guys I know...

Oh, and even better was the comment posted right below the video on YouTube which read...

"here's the OUTRAGE of the day: people actually believe in a mythical bearded jew with magical powers."

Hahahaha, oh man. Hey, everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs and I'm not tryin' to hate on religion, but I know funny when I see it, and that comment is funnier than...well it's funnier than pretty much anything that's not this...

I know, it would be cooler if it were the actual show footage, but it's still pretty damn funny. It's damn random, too, but i always mention the episode to people, and they never remember it, so I think this is a win-win solution for us all! Two birds. One stone. And now, two dead birds...

*In the shock of the year (sarcasm), notorious whitey-basher and Syracuse graduate, Jim Brown, is upset at how Tiger Woods has reacted in the wake of this whole "lynching" situation. "He should have come out right away. Instead, he waited until it was politically correct [to comment]," said Brown, who in my eyes is to athletics what Al Sharpton is to politics. The guy likes comin' out of the woodwork, and givin' interviews with his little beanie on, every time he thinks his race has been done an injustice. Dude, give it a rest already. I know there is still a ton of racism and prejudice in the world today, but you're gonna need to pick better battles than this! The use of the word "lynch" by the Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman, was not some blatant example of racism, it was a careless mistake, that she should have been and was punished for. Not to be confused, Jim, with the return of slavery, and the ripping up of the equal rights amendment! Tiger recognized that she misspoke, and anyone who actually heard the comments as they were, knows that she was trying to improvise, and just used the wrong phrase. Plain and simple. The reason Tiger didn't react, was because he understood the situation, took into account all the factors involved, and made a rational decision. Guys like Jim Brown, and many members of the media, have treated this like a game of telephone. You know, you start sayin' one thing, but it comes out somethin' else? Well, if all those people did their due diligence, and actually watched the "lynching" audio clip, and took the comments as they were, then this whole topic would be as dead as...

*Yea, poor taste I know, but I really did want to comment on the death of Heath Ledger before it was no longer news, and that was the most creative way I could think of doing it. OK, that really wasn't cool at all, and I apologize! I don't want to make light of death, believe me, but again, it's that thing about knowing funny when I see it. And that segway was funny, dammit! Anyway, I actually like Heath Ledger, and I think it's a shame that he passed away this week. Mostly it's because he banged Michelle Williams (see: supple rack above), who I always wanted to do when she was that trashy chick on Dawson's Creek, but I still think he was a good actor. Another star, who went well before his time. (notice I didn't assume he OD'd on drugs? makes up for the shit I said about him earlier...boom! ...even steven!)

*And in an attempt to go out on a much brighter, yet just as juvenile note, I am asking that the people at ESPN to PLEASE stop running that Brady Bunch thing they came up with in 2001. It was barely amusing at the time because it was such an obvious gag, and now it's just encouraging people to try and kill Tom Brady, the cast of the Brady Bunch, and the sick bastards that chose to produce this thing and run it nonstop for like the last week. Next time you tools at ESPN think about airing this thing, or putting a similar video package, heed my advice instead. Get a hobby. If that hobby happens to be drinking bleach or bathing with toasters, well then that'll be chill by me too...

Hope some of you got to hear me this week on Gresh and Zo, 9 to noon, on Sports Radio 99.7 & 790 The Score as I was pimpin' on my local SportsCenter updates. If you didn't, don't worry. I plan on dominating the industry someday, so you'll have plenty of other chances in the months, years and dare I say decades to come....Stay up...


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