Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Brady, Mayweather, and a Cattle Prod

Personally, as a New England Patriots fan, I can't remember a more satisfying victory than the beat down this weekend on the Shattsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh was supposed to be the team to give the Pats a good run, and coming off two close wins, the Pats looked as ripe for the picking as ever. Then, in steps Anthony Smith, his big mouth, and his "guarantee." In hindsight, that moment was where the game went from in doubt, to a sure fire smack down. Still think Brady and the Pats don't use off the field stuff as motivation? Well think again. Smith, who Belichick went out of his way to rip in his post game presser, had a bulls eye on his back all day long and was even victim of perhaps the greatest single play I've ever seen the Pats pull off.

You know the play I'm talkin' about. Brady drops back, laterals to Moss, who drops the ball, picks it up, laterals back to Brady, who rares back and throws the ball 63 yards in the air, over the head of Anthony Smith, and right into the arms of Jabar Gaffney. WOW, what a freaking play. Then, to make it even sweeter, Tom "all business" Brady, made his way down field to purposely shout some expletives in Smith's face, and rub in the fact that Pittsburgh was getting their ass beat. Game. Set. Match. That touchdown made the score 24-13 early in the 3rd quarter, but for all intents and purposes, the game ended right then and there with a swift kick right to the gut. Anthony Smith had been exposed for the 2nd time, New England was now 2 scores ahead, and the game that was supposed to be their "biggest test," turned into yet another speed bump on the romp to legendary perfection.

Now, in case you missed it, there was quite the incident at Gillette stadium while the teams were on the field practicing before the game. Circling above the field, was a small plane, draggin' behind it a banner that read "Bonds -- 765*, Belichick 3 Super Bowl Wins*." Turns out, the plane was owned or rented by a New York businessman, and the only reasoning could be that he/she was looking to embarrass Billy and the Pats before their big show down with the Steelers. Well, nice try and I hope it didn't set you back too many lootros, because the tactic was about as successful as Anthony Smith is a good safety. Jealousy man, it really brings out the worst in people. All the posers out there need to take a note from TI when he says "you can hate if you want to, but you're just wastin' your time." OK, so maybe that was too good of English to be TI, but you got my point. After all, a hater is just a loser with a decent excuse, right?

Next Week vs New York Jets (3-10)

I can't wait to watch Belichick and Brady try to score as many points as humanly possible against Eric "the Rat" Mangini and the New York Jets. The spread opened at 24, and something tells me it's only going up! This is gonna be saawweeeeeeeeeet! Time to meet your maker, you fat, Soprano guest starring, non-genius, round, round rat of man...

News and Notes
*In his freshmen year, he helped lead his team to a National title. In his sophomore year, Florida QB Tim Tebow became the first player ever to throw and run for 20 touchdowns, totalling a mind boggling 59. Now, he can call himself the lone underclassmen to ever win the prestigious Heisman Trophy. A lot of people hate on Tebow because he's basically a glorified running back put in a great position to succeed by the system he's in, but I say if that's the case, then he still deserves the award. It might sound silly now, but I was pissed when Rex Grossman lost out to Eric Crouch as a sophomore in 2001, when it appeared obvious that the only reason he lost was because of his age. At least this time the voters got it right, and gave the Gator the hardware. Now, he has a chance to do what both Jason White and Matt Leinhart failed to do in recent memory, and that's win it a second time, something that only Ohio St.'s Archie Griffin has been able to pull off. You know Archie. He coined the phrase "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog." Oh, and speaking of dog fights....

*In case you have been under a rock (or perhaps smoking one), you've heard by now that notorious dog fighter, Mikey Vick, has been sentenced to a maximum of 23 months in prison. It was less than half the 5 year maximum sentence that could have been levied down, but combined with the suspension that most think is coming from the NFL following his release, this sentence should all but end the professional football career of one of the league's brightest stars. Let this be a lesson to us all. When you feel like the best thing you can do on any given day is gamble on two dogs trying to kill themselves, know that it might be the last thing you do before a guy named Leslie tries to make your "exit" an "entrance" for his "little elephant." See you in a few years Mikey, and make sure you let us know the rules about conjugal visits in Federal "Pound You in the ASS" Prison.

*In "legal" fighting news, I'm glad to say I was fortunate enough to witness the Floyd Mayweather Jr./Ricky Hatton fight this weekend, and let me tell you, it was fan-tastic! I said before the fight that in an ideal world, I would like to see a hard fought battle that ended in a late round with a knock out. Then, a friend of mine who is always wrong, but thinks he's always right (we all know that guy, right?), said that fights in this weight class never end in knockouts. Now, I then mentioned that the two fighters had combined for 55 KO's in only 81 combined fights, but that did little to deter this tard from his great prediction. Well, thankfully for me, the fight did end in a knockout in the 10th round for Mayweather, and it was a great fight to watch. It's not nearly often enough that a great fight occurs, and even less frequently that I get to see one, so I was glad that on a night I was able to actually watch a fight, I got to witness a great show. Too bad it's gonna be way too long till another fight worth watching comes along, but that's boxing for ya....Oh, and the dude who knew so much about boxing, never saw a single second of the fight...all talk, baby...all talk....

*Just when you think the Knicks have proven once and for all that they have the dumbest management in all of sports, they go and reinforce that point even more. No, I'm not talking about their settlement of $11.5 million yesterday with Isiah Thomas accuser, Anuka Brown Sanders, I'm talking about the statement made by owner James Dolan. In a time of turmoil probably never before seen in the Big Apple, Dolan came out and told the media that Isiah Thomas was secure in his position as the team's head coach. See, this is their problem right here. Why even say something like this? Thomas has had little to no success on the court, and has done nothing but create problems off it. I'm not saying you have to fire him on the spot (but most of us would), but why come out and say that his job is safe? You're either setting yourself to look like a liar when you fire him, or you're telling your fans that you're about a good a judge of character as you are an owner. I don't know what it is, but Isiah Thomas just has something about him that makes people like him. There's really nothing else to explain why he still has this job, and why he even got this job in the first place after previous disastrous tours as a coach and GM. Maybe he's got naked pictures of commissioner David Stern with nipple clamps on, or maybe he just is the most charismatic person in the world and just chooses not to act like one when he's on TV. Whatever it is, it boggles my mind how this guy has a job, and it seems like almost a miracle that Dolan has been able to keep this team from simply disappearing in the last few years....

*And just so people don't accuse me of ignoring the Red Sox during baseball's off season, here are a few nibblets for ya'll to chew on....

-Many Red Sox fans are up in arms over the fact that phenom Jacoby Ellsbury, and his new agent Scott Boras, charged $125 for an autograph at a recent signing in North Attleboro. Oh, and you can't bring your own items to be signed, you have to purchase your items at the location, with the cheapest one being listed at $25. Hey, man. If you're gonna go around bragging about the fact that you get this guy for such little money for the next few seasons, don't be surprised if he's gonna do some shit like this...

-Of course Curt Schilling chimed in with his thoughts on sports memorabilia, and of course he had all the right answers. Personally, he mostly does signings where the proceeds go to help support his ALS or SHADE charities. Then again, Curt, you make millions of dollars a year, and have for the last decade. Jacoby needs the loot, man. There's a big difference. I wish we could go back in time and ask the rookie Curt Schilling his thoughts on trying to make as much money as you can when your actual salary is so low. Why don't you just go and support your butt buddy McCain, and leave "not-so" poor Jacoby alone...

-All is relatively quiet on the Johan Santana trade talks, and that's the very reason I expect him to be dealt sooner rather than later. I don't have any real info on the deal, but these big deals always seem to come out of nowhere when it comes to Theo Epstein and the Sox front office.

-And lastly, Red Sox Nation need not worry about Eric Gas-can coming out of the bully next season, because he's officially a Brewer. That's right. For some reason, the Brew Crew thought it would be a good idea to give a guy that had a 6.75 ERA with the Sox last season a one year contract worth in the neighborhood of $10 mil. If you ask me, that neighborhood is way too ritzy for French Canadians who throw meat over a plate, but what do I know? We were glad he arrived, but now we're even happier he's gone. C'est La Vie, you stinky, French bastard, and don't let the World Series trophy you had no part in winning hit you on the way out...

My Picks
Last Week: 3-4-0

Overall: 49-35-4 (.580)

*At this point of the season, there really should be no excuse for a week like this, but I'm gonna make one anyway. It's not my fault the Rams decided to start Brock Berlin and their defense decided to show up against the Bengals. And it's not my fault that Kurt Warner decided to throw 5 picks along with his 3 TDs to help give the Seahawks a big win over the Cardinals. There, I feel a lot better now. I promise next week I'll pick games in which I have more control over the participants...or at least games in which I think that's the case...

Fantasy Update
Last Week: Make It Reign! 89 Sean Mysterio Jr. 74

Next Week: Semifinals vs Team Papes (9-3-1)

*After a long season full of twists and turns, I am one of 4 teams left, and 3 of us will get PAID! Not too pumped about having to face Brady this week when he plays the Jets, but seeing as the team I'm going up against has little else besides Brady, I still don't hate my chances. LT finally burst out of his shell to give me a performance I badly needed, and since TO and Dallas Clark had such quiet games this weekend, I can only hope that they will blow up next week and provide a much needed boost. David Garrard continues to impress as my savior at QB, and if I'm to advance, he and Brian Westbrook are going to need to keep up with the steady performances. It's been a long and exciting season, but it all comes down to the next two weeks. Wish me luck, gangstas! I'm gonna need it!

*As great as both the Pats game and the Mayweather fight were, the best thing I did this weekend was go to see the Coen Brothers new movie, No Country For Old Men. Based on the novel by American author Cormac McCarthy, it stars Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardiem (above) in a tale of a drug deal gone wrong, or more to the root of the movie, a simple study of "fate." Without giving away too much of the film, the characters are amazing, the dialogue mesmerizing, and Bardiem deserves to be recognized as one of the scariest villains in modern movie history. He's cold hearted, funny, and he kills people with a cattle prod. What could be cooler than that? Not to sound all high and mighty, but if you like movies that aren't "easy to like," then go see this one. What I mean is, if you're ready to watch a movie as if you're reading a book, then this is the flick for you. The tension cuts like a knife, and it's dripping with all the regular Coen Brothers nuances and dark humor. A must see that I give a 9 out f 10. For reference, the only movies I've ever given a "10" to that I can remember, are the Godfather II, and The Usual Suspects. Now go see it already!


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