Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Make Room On the Bandwagon!

Dan's Dan's Revolution!
Trust me, nothing gives me more pleasure than ripping Danny Ainge and the Boston Celtics, but when it comes to this Kevin Garnett situation, I can offer nothing but praise for the usually bumbling Mormon. Before I get to the break down of the trade, here are the brass tacks...

Boston Gets
F Kevin Garnett

Minnesota Gets
F Ryan Gomes
F Al Jefferson
G Sebastian Telfair
G Gerald Green
F Theo Ratliff
2 future 1st round picks

Sure seems like the C's are giving up a lot in this deal, but they are getting a franchise player back in return, so it should all even out in the end. Theo Ratliff and Sebastian Telfair are both bums, and while there are two first round picks involved, those should be in the back end of the first round if this team plays up to it's potential. Basically, it's just Gomes, Jefferson and Green for Garnett, and if you don't think that's at least an even deal, then plainly put, "you be smokin' that shit". Sure everyone loves the potential that Jefferson and Green have to be future stars, and people love Gomes, the local boy who will probably make a solid pro for another decade, but acquiring Garnett makes the C's instant contenders in the Eastern Conference, which gives them a legit shot at a title in the next few years. Hell, if it all works out, they could be competing for and winning multiple titles, knock on wood. So, with Garnett the new centerpiece to the offense, here's how the lineup looks as of today if the trade actually does go through (everyone is reporting it as 99% done)...

F Kevin Garnett
F Kendrick Perkins
F Paul Pierce
G Ray Allen
G Rajon Rondo

F Glen Davis
F Tony Allen
F Leon Powe
G Gabe Pruitt
F Brian Scalabrine
F Brandon Wallace

I don't care how thin the bench looks, that starting lineup instantly puts this team atop the Eastern Conference with the likes of Detroit and Cleveland, and in my opinion, makes them better than both of those squads. Who has a big 3 in the East that can even touch the combination of KG, Allen and the Truth? Nobody. The question now becomes, does Danny have the balls to fire Doc? We've been told this whole time that Doc was here to help the young guys mature. And while I don't think he did that either, you certainly can't count on this guy to guide a group of veterans on a playoff run. He can't coach "in game" to save his life, and with him at the helm, this ship will only get so far. Fire Doc, Danny, and make this the best summer of your life!

Red Sox Update
Overall: 64-41, 1st place in AL East by 8 games
Status: Well, it looks like Theo Epstein is prepared to take the first steps in admitting he was wrong in signing JD Drew to a monster contract this off season by bringing in Jermaine Dye (for Wily Mo Pena and Manny Delcarmen) to help provide some offensive pop in the outfield. Problem there, is that while Dye has better power numbers than Drew this season, he too has been struggling to the tune of .235, 19 homers and 52 RBI (Drew: .248, 6 homers, 40 RBI). Now, if Theo wants to play Dye everyday, then I think his low average is OK due to the sluggers around him, but if Theo expects to platoon Dye, I can't see him getting all that much out of him. Then, not only would the Sox be paying Drew $15 mil to suck this year, but they would be paying a combined $18.5 mil (Dye makes $7 mil and the Sox would be on the hook for half of it) for right fielders that hit about .250 this year. Too bad we didn't have a guy here that could have hit .250 for say, I don't know, $3 mil a season (Trot Nixon makes $3 mil and is hitting .253 with 3 homers). But in the grand scheme of things, this issue is pretty minor when it comes to whether or not the Sox are capable of winning the World Series.

And in other Sox trade deadline action, Joel Pineiro is out the door for a St. Louis Cardinal prospect, and Theo is still hot on the trail of Texas closer, Eric Gagne. I'm not sure why Gagne would want to come here and not close, but hey I'm all for stockpiling arms! Go get 'em Teddy Epstein!

Diamonds Are Forever
*Two of the games most polarizing figures continue their quest towards their respective record home runs this week, and for once, both on them were fully bathed in the radiant light that is, steroid accusations. Of course we know that Barroid is always being accused of juicin' up (gee I wonder why), but now it's legendary steroid whistle blower, Jose Canseco, that's suggesting he may have proof that Alex Rodriguez was also a steroid user. Jose didn't come out and say as much, but when asked about it, Jose simply told reporters to wait and see what comes out in his new book, and that they will be surprised. I guess in this day and age, nobody is above suspicion, but how is Jose Canseco really the authority on steroids in baseball? I understand he knows a great deal about steroids in the game, and his book Juiced opened a lot of people's eyes, but when it comes to Rodriguez in particular, you have to scratch your head. We all know Canseco is a media whore, and with his last book now in the discount bin, and his run on the Surreal Life long over, he's hungering for the spot light yet again. So what better way to pedal books than accuse the game's greatest player, and the soon to be holder of the All-Time homerun record, of roiding out? Come on now, Jose, enough is enough. It was one thing when it was believe able that you had first hand knowledge of peeps using roids, but you can't convince me you and A-Rod talked about it. On the other hand, I think Jose is hysterical, and since I don't really care for A-Rod as a person, I might actually like where this is all headed. Full speed ahead Jose! Don't stop until you've gotten Ozzie Smith and Otis Nixon banned from the game for using HGH and other muscle enhancers. Now those guys were huge, right?

*It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, right? And then it's just fun-ny, right? Poor taste, yes, but funny nonetheless. So that begs to question, what is it exactly when someone almost loses an eye? Well, apparently, you can call it the Kansas City Royals locker room. Just a few days ago, outfielder Emil Brown was fooling around with a pellet gun when he "accidentally" shot female reporter Karen Kornacki and hit her right in the face, just missing her eye. Brown and the Royals were quick to say it was an accident and in poor taste, but the damage had already been done. Just another case, of a crappy organization, doin' stupid things. I guess I should thank the Royals for creating such hysterical news, and yea, that's what I'm gonna do. Thanks KC, and thank you Emil. Next time, just try and make sure you take out someone worth shooting, like Jay Mairotti, Dan Shaugnessy, or maybe even Tina "Horse Face" Cervasio. Appreciate it, buddy.

News and Notes
*Nothing says "pinnacle event of your sport" like the leader being tossed 3/4 of the way through for druggin' it up, and the entire field was constantly mired in more drug speculation. Thank you Tour de France, and from me, the thanks is 100% sincere. No, seriously, thank you for increasing the speed of your decline from the general sports conscious, a mere few years after an American of all people, raped your premier event 7 times in a row, after beating cancer. Now, you have an ex champ, Roid Landis, that was stripped of his '06 title after a positive test for blood doping, and you had two of this years top contenders, overall leader Michael Rasmussen and tour de Spain champion Alexandre Vinokourov, booted mid race after positive tests for blood doping. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that your '07 champ, held the title for only one day before he himself was accused of doping by German anti doping officials. Good work. I'll be the first to tell ya that I don't know a damn thing about cycling, but from where I sit, this sport looks about as clean and entertaining as a French hooker. At least now, maybe the only people I see on the streets in tight unitards are the pretty little high schoolers out for a summer job, not the 40 something wannabes with their man junk protruding as they do their best Lance impression while on their lunch break. Go home cycling. You're the kid that nobody wanted at the party, but he brought the tank of nitrous. And yea, sorry dude, but the tank's empty. Peace!

Tackle Box
*Legendary San Fransisco 49ers and Stanford Cardinal head coach, Bill Walsh, passed away on Monday at the age of 75. Walsh is credited with creating the West Coast Offense, in which shorter passes and spreading the ball around made the offense, as opposed to the traditional way of pounding it with the run and throwing the ball deep. Not only did his offense make stars out of players like Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Steve Young, John Taylor and Roger Craig, but the study of that offense and all it's intricacies made stars out of Walsh assistant coaches such as Mike Holmgren, Denny Green, Jim Fassel, Andy Reid, Mike Shanahan, Steve Mariucci and Tony Dungy. The man was one of the greatest minds in all of sports, and he has the 3 Super Bowl rings to prove it. Simply put, and there aren't many guys you can say this about, but the NFL would not be what it is today if not for the passion and innovation of Bill Walsh. Even at age 75, Coach Walsh was taken from this world far too soon, and he will be sorely missed.

*More bad news for the Don King of the Dog Pit, Michael Vick. And yes, that nickname is original, funny, and just flat out gangster, and you know it. One of Vick's co-defendants, Tony Taylor, apparently sang like a canary to Federal prosecutors after accepting a plea deal for his role in the case. According to sources close to the case, Taylor pointed the finger at Vick as the main financier and essentially the president of the Bad Newz Kennels, the business behind the alleged dog fighting ring. Needless to say, this isn't good for Mr. Ron Mexico. Actually, to put it bluntly, he's screwed. I know co-defendant testimony is shady at best, but like I said last week, these dog fighting prosecutors don't lose cases, and they don't fuck around. They know what they're doing, and right now, it seems like what they're doing, is nailing Mikey V to a wall. Good luck in Federal "Pound you in the Ass" prison. And heads up if your cell mate is named Serena or Penus Williams from Compton. Watch yer corn hole good buddy.

*While it may be a moot point due to the makeup of the rest of their squad, the Patriots secondary took another hit this week when Chad Scott went down for the year with an undisclosed knee injury. I say "another hit", because the first one is still the contract dispute between the front office and Asante Samuel. The secondary is really only the weakness I see on this team, and with guys like Rodney Harrison, Eugene Wilson and Randall Gay all still in the mix, I'm getting a little weary. All three of those guys have missed major parts of at least one of the past 3 seasons, and there's little reason to believe they'll all be able to stay on the field for all of the '07 season. So while the Scott injury and the Samuel holdout don't have me, and shouldn't have you, panicking yet, it is a situation worth keeping an eye on as camp unfolds.

Fantasy Update

Last Week: LOSS, 10-11-3 vs Backside Hitters

Overall: 197-175-36 (.527), 3rd place 35 games back

*I'd love to bitch and moan this week about how I lost, but I really don't have any complaints. Sure I would have loved to win, but it's tough to feel like I lost with all the positives I got out of this week's performance. 1) I didn't lose any ground on the 1st place squad, the powerhouse Butt Ticklers 2) my team actually played well, and just lost to a better team this week (team currently in 4th) and 3) I moved up from 4th place into 3rd place...and yes...that means I am right back in prime tiny trophy territory.


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