Q) Why did Roger decide to come back when he did?
A) I gotta say the chances of this one were slim and none...and of course slim just left town. I'm not buying into the fact that Roger still has anger towards the Sox for the way he was treated when he left, because that was a different management group. However, seeing as I don't think this is the last year for Roger, despite turning 45 this season, I wouldn't rule out Roger coming full circle next season and returning to Boston, if he does indeed capture the World Series with New York this year. That's the stipulation. If the Yanks win it all, Roger may yet return to the Fens, but if he doesn't, expect him to hang it up and enter the Hall of Fame as a New York Yankee.
So, there you have it. Roger Clemens is officially back in the battle to save Middle Earth / the Galaxy / the New York Yankees. It's not certain whether the move will spell success, but what is certain, is the move is sure to take some of the lighter fluid from the Yankee pen, and deposit it where it should be, in the greatest rivalry in all of sports.
Red Sox Update
Status: Maybe I don't know nearly as much about the Hispanic culture as I once thought. See, used to be, that no matter what nationality you were, it was considered sketchy as hell to stroke another man's head while embracing him in a hug. On the plus side, you know the Sox are runnin' good when this is the top piece of news in the Nation. On second thought, combine this footage with Don Orsillo's uncontrollable laughter (a classic staple of any NESN game this season thanks to the Rem Dawg), and I think this clip would make the front page if the Sox were 10 games back and Pedro, Schill and Millahhhh were in pin stripes.
Diamonds Are Forever
*As if it weren't enough that the Rocket was landing in the Bronx, the way the Yankees presented Roger to the masses was more a Broadway show than it was baseball game. I mean, I understand the pageantry of the whole thing, and I can even see how having Roger appear and speak from the owners box was meant to lift spirits, but there was one aspect of the entire thing that has me flummoxed. Yankee radio broadcaster, and Newton, MA native, Suzyn Waldman, went absolutely ape-shit when she saw Clemens speaking at the game. Seriously. I can understand being happy and excited over his arrival, but her reaction was redic. I happened to catch clips of the broadcast, and at first I thought I was hearing a recording of Kirsty Ally getting a hot colonic with a Super Soaker. Waldman was so beside herself, that at one point, the only audible sounds coming from her mic were a combination of giggles, panting and possibly some sort of mock orgasm (although it is radio, and you never know where her partner John Sterling's hands were at the time). Now, the last thing I want to do is take a run at someone who survived breast cancer, but even that doesn't hold you from my wrath if you switched allegiance from the Sox to the Yanks. "I climbed on the bandwagon, and I'm not leaving anytime soon." Geesh. I know they sign your paychecks, but come on now. Besides, whether you're a fan or not, you're supposed to have some sort of journalistic integrity aren't you? I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Charlie Steiner in the booth for Yankee games! At least he wasn't shuddering and screaming every time Roger was in his BOX! Ha!
*Each week it becomes more and more evident that there are more tards in this league than at your standard Life Goes On autograph signing. However, I have taken it upon myself to provide motivation in the face of idiocy. NO, it's not money, and NO, it's not pride. I am desperately going to try for a top 3 finish in this league for one reason and one reason only....So I can have a tiny little trophy in the display case in my Yahoo! Fantasy Sports profile. The sad truth is, that since starting my profile in 2004, I have only one first place finish (my first baseball league), and one 3rd place finish (the whackest fantasy football league ever that hanged scoring 3 weeks into it). It's truly pathetic. And, if I'm going to keep doing these things, I might as well win, right? It's one thing when you lose to a league of guys trying to beat you. But, when your competition is a bunch of FRAUDS that haven't given the league much of a second though, then it will be quite loser of me if I don't at least crack the top 3. Give me a tiny little trophy, or give me death!