Friday, January 19, 2007

Pats Set to Invade Peyton's Place

The time for fun and games has come to an end my friends, and it's time to get down to business. Good thing the Patriots are in the business of kicking Peyton Manning's hick ASS. And boy let me tell ya.....Business Is Good! This is it for Manning. No more excuses about the weather, or not having the more talented team, or having a "liquored up idiot kicker". If he can't beat Bill and Tom in this one, it just ain't gonna happen...

New England Patriots (+3) @ Indianapolis Colts
*Wooooo Eeeeeee. Excuse me if I'm salivating, but there could NOT be a better match up for this year's AFC title game. And, while it may seem like a no brainer that I pick my boys this week, I have been saying the last few weeks that the Colts were prime to win the Super Bowl this year. Yeah, you caught me. The analyst in me was pretty sure the Pats were going to lose to the Chargers. So sue me! Fact is, I picked the Pats, and they won! So I'm picking them again! Screw the fact that I still think this is the Colts best shot at getting Peyton his ring. I also don't care that Indy is 9-0 at home this year. I mean isn't Tom Brady still playing for the Patriots? And isn't Bill Belichick still dancing around in Peyton Manning's dome? That's what I thought. And is Colts DB Nick Harper insane? Why on earth would he give New England bulletin board material by saying the Colts D thinks they may be in Brady's head? What an idiot. The only thing in Brady's head is how a 4th ring will look on his finger, and probably nude images of his new chick, supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Seriously though, the game within a game that will be fun to watch will be the battle of the Sanders'. If safety Bob Sanders cant step up like he did in the meeting earlier in the season, then the Colts have a great shot. He's been the spark plug for this defensive unit, more so helping to stop the run than the pass, and since he's been back they've only allowed a total of 127 rush yards in their two playoff games. For the Pats, if James "Colonel" Sanders and Artrell Hawkins can step up, then I really like their chances (it also wouldn't hurt if Rodney Harrison manages to make it back for this one, even though he remains doubtful). They have looked really slow at times this year, and this is the wrong receiving corps to be taking bad angles on. Either way, you know this thing is coming down to a game winning field goal. The question is, who is going to be taking it? Well here you go. (Note: If you don't want to know exactly what's going to happen at the end of the game, don't read any further) While it's usually the Pats driving down the field for a game winner, this one's going to unfold a little differently. Let me set the stage. After scoring to take a 24-23 lead, the Pats leave about 90 seconds on the clock for Peyton and crew to work their way for a winning score. Instead of choking, Peyton actually manages to remember that he plays football better than he acts (wait is that even true?) and leads his boys into field goal range despite having only one timeout to work with. Then, in comes the savior, Adam Vinatieri (who has yet to miss a kick in the dome this year), to attempt a 42 yard game-winner that would send Indy to their long awaited Super Bowl. But this one ends the same way so many Vinatieri games have ended in the past....Pats Win!...Pats Win!...
Prediction: New England Patriots 24 Indianapolis Colts 23

New Orleans Saints (+3) @ Chicago Bears
*Don't get it twisted. I'm not picking the Saints because their home is under water, because they have Reggie Bush or because they have the reigning coach of the year in Sean Payton. I'm picking them because they are getting points, and because the other team happens to have a QB that goes by the name of Rex Grossman. That's what it all comes down to for me in this one. The Saints are the better team, but the Bears are at home, hence the 3 point spread. That's Las Vegas's way of saying that if this game were played on a neutral site, it would be a tie. And I can't say I disagree. Any way you slice it, this game will be won by whichever team shows up and makes the most big plays. Unlike the AFC title tilt, where it should be a tight battle throughout, this one will be based completely on the big play. If the Bears D and punt return master Devin Hester make the plays, the Bears will win. If it's Reggie Bush, Marques Colston or the Saints D/Rex making the big plays, the Saints will move on. It's really that simple. Speaking of simple. Let's just break the game down this way. The Bears have the NFL's #1 ranked defense and the Saints have the #1 ranked offense. Last time I checked, defense wins championships right? And isn't this a championship game? Right?...Right? I have this one being a one-point game also, but look for it to play more like a "come from ahead" game for the Bears as opposed to the back and forth battle in the AFC.
Prediction: Chicago Bears 27 New Orleans Saints 26

2006-2007 Picks
Last Week: 2-2-0

Playoffs: 5-3-0 (.625)

'06-'07 Season: 52-36-7 (.584)

*My 2-2 record last week is really misleading. I predicted all 4 winners correctly (7-1 picking winners in the postseason, better than everyone at ESPN not named Merril Hoge), and I basically nailed how all of the games would play out with exception of the Bears/Seahawks. Straight cash homie. Only 3 games left to pick this year, and hopefully the Pats will be in 2 of them. So' now I've beat Vegas 2 years in a row. Dare I start actually putting money down on these babies next year?

News and Notes
*I'm not sure where Mikey Vick gets his buds from, but from the sound of it, they must have more crystals than Diddy's iPod. Vick was stopped at the Miami International Airport on Wednesday at a routine security checkpoint and asked to hand over a bottle of water. He was very reluctant to give it to them, but eventually did. After it was disposed of, authorities wondered why he wouldn't hand it over, so they gave it a second look. That's when they discovered the bottle happened to contain a secret compartment that allegedly contained s black substance that looked and smelled like Mary Jane! You know the type of water bottle I'm talkin' about. It's one of those that you're "supposed" to hide valuables in when you are afraid that someone is going to rob you. They are NOT for the NFL's all-time single season rushing leader at QB to stash buds in! Come on Mikey. They don't let anyone on planes anymore with liquid bro. And even if for some reason you were under a rock and didn't know that, when they ask you to get rid of it, DO IT! You can always buy another one of those bottles man, and you can definitely always buy more weed. At the very least, I'm sure his brother Marcus could sell him a zip or two. But honestly Mike, you need to learn to use slightly better judgment. First you get caught spreadin' herps (no that's not a typo that's how I say and spell it) and using the name Ron Mexico. Then you flip the bird to the home fans. Now this? Dude, you're set to make $130 mil over the next decade. Buy you're own freaking plane! Note: If you own the vehicle, you can hot box it all you want. Keep that in mind. My favorite part of this story though is that local officials in Miami have said it may take a few weeks to determine if they are going to press any charges. Funny, it doesn't seem to take that long when they catch a few high school kids cruisin' around in their sea-foam whips. Not that I'd know anything about that...

*Apparently Marty Schottenheimer's job is safe as head coach of the San Deigo Chargers. While it had been rumored that Marty would be run out of town despite his 14-2 record this year, team owner Dean Spanos made it clear that Marty was here to stay. Spanos even went as far as to offer the coach a one year extension reportedly worth $4.5 mil with a million dollar buyout. And I understand that Marty turned it down because if he does happen to win next year he will be worth much more, but I'd like to go back to what I said last week about Tom Coughlin. Sure the Charger players may love Marty now, but if they start to lose next year at any point, he could lose control of his team. Why respect a guy that's probably not even coming back next season? Other than that, this is a great move by the Chargers, at least from my point of view. Now that he's there at least one more year, it means the most talented team in the AFC will never be able to make it to the Super Bowl. Mmmmm I can smell another ring already.

*Barry Bonds thinks that Pete Rose and Mark McGwire should both be in the baseball Hall of Fame. Nice. What's next? Maurice Clarett is going to come out and say he thinks it should be legal to drive around with vodka and guns? Nate Newton is going to say he thinks Cheech and Chong should oppose Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in 2008? Or better yet, maybe Shawne Merriman will openly petition for Bill Romanowski as the leader of the World Anti Doping Agency. Come on Barroid, be serious here. We all know you're just trying to pave the way for your own scandalous candidacy for the Hall in 6 years. You can't fool us! And by "us" I obviously don't mean Bud Selig. Even if you think those guys should be in the Hall, is it in Barry's best interest to throw support behind two of the most tarnished reputations in the sport? He's not looking good as is, nevermind now that he's openly lobbying for cheaters to get in. God I hope his deal with the Giants falls through and the rest of the league just refuses to sign him. I don't care if it is illegal to do that. Aren't roids illegal too? Justice baby! Justice!

*As much as I'd like to give you some more embarrassing news about former NFL head coach Dennis Green, this next story actually makes him look pretty smart. After spurning attempts by Al Davis and the Raiders for an interview for their vacant head coaching spot, Green is apparently in talks for his own TV show. No, he wouldn't be talking football, nor would he be forced to live in a house with 7 strangers. No, Denny Green would be hosting...wait for it...his own fishing show! That's right kids. Feel free to insert your best "...and we let them off the hook!" joke here.

*Jose Contreras's father is tired of his age being a source of laughter among NBA commentators. And of course by that I mean, Dikembe Mutombo is pissed. Despite being made fun of for the fact that he has looked 50 since he was 18, Dikembe Mutombo and his family have had enough. The 40 year old has even gone as far as to ask commissioner David Stern if there's any way he can ask the boys in Bristol and at TNT to stop mocking the fact that he looks about 80. Sorry Dikembe. When you come from a continent that's birth records are about as reliable as an AIDS vaccine from a Tijuana free clinic, this is the treatment you can expect to get. Hell, Danny Almonte and Julio Franco think that there are issues with your birth certificate. Besides, if I were you I'd be more worried about making a fool out of myself on the court. I'm all for Mutombo doing his patented "finger wag" after he blocks a shot, buy not when the ball is still in play! Whether you're 40 or 60, it doesn't matter to me, you still look like an old fool.

*Oh yeah. Don't think I was going to go all week without commenting on LT and the rest of those sore losers in San Diego. When LaDanian Tomlinson said the Patriots had "no class" after they mocked Shawne Merriman's "lights out" dance on the Charger logo, I cut him some slack. After all, he had just come of an emotional loss, and sometimes after a loss like that even classy guys like LT can let the moment get the best of them. But to continue talking about the Pats lack of class well into the next week? Come on now. If your roided out teammate is going to do a dance every time he sack the QB (or even when he almost does, which happened in that game), then expect other teams to do it right back. After all, isn't it a sign of disrespect when Merriman or anyone else celebrates after a big play? Of course it is. You trying to tell me that when a quarterback is lying on his back and looks up and sees Merriman doing his little dance that resembles a lawn sprinkler they feel good? Hell no, they feel disrespected, or upstaged. If you want to dish it out, you need to be able to take it. And right now, the Chargers are the ones who look classless, not the Patriots that were celebrating on their logo. Sure, I would have rather the players hadn't done that, but there was nothing wrong with it. Grow up LT....oh I just can't resist..."Go Fuck Yourself San Diego" - Ron Burgandy

Nothing says FRAUD like losing by 22 points at home. That's right Clemson. I don't care how many times you beat up on Wofford, Monmouth and Appalachian St. if you cant even hang with the Tar Heels in your own building. I'm not saying they had to win, but coming off a close loss @ #25 Maryland it would have been nice to at least make it a game in front of fans that spent the night before staked outside the arena in anticipation. Expect these fools to drop out of the top 25 just as quickly as they arrived. That being said, two teams that proved this week that they aren't posers were the Oklahoma St. Cowboys and Texas Longhorns. Was that the best game you've seen this year or what? Triple OT game that features one of the best players in the country (Texas F Kevin Durant), one of the coolest names in the country (OK. St. F JamesOn Curry), and the greatest half-court out-of-bounds saving shot this side of Rex Chapman. That victory alone was enough to bump the Boys into my top 10 this week. Other than that there wasn't much movement, but I let my stubbornness get the best of me and bumped the Heels back into my top 10. I'm funny like that. When you beat a ranked team in their building by 20+ I tend to give you some love. No matter how awful that home team may have been...

College Hoops Top 10
1. Kansas (16-2) 1
2. Florida (16-2) 2
3. Wisconsin (18-1) 3
4. UCLA (16-1) 4
5. Pittsburgh (17-2) 5
6. Ohio St. (15-3) 6
7. Nevada (17-1) 8
8. North Carolina (16-2) NR
9. Oklahoma St. (16-2) NR
10. Alabama (14-3) 7

just missed: Oregon, Arizona, Butler, Memphis
dropped: (9) Arizona, (10) Texas A&M

Just like to thank everyone that distracts themselves from work by reading my blog each week. This was my 100th posting, and with any luck, maybe I will get through 100 more before I'm through. Thanks for readin' peeps. You are all true gangsters in my book. And yes, I do have a book where I keep track of those things...


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