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Friday, December 22, 2006

NFL Week 16 Picks...Happy Birthday Jesus!

*Well Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all. Hope everyone has their shopping done, like me. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing most of you fools suffer at the malls this weekend. But anyway, while it might not sound like it, I've decided to dish out a little holiday spirit in my picks this week. I know using a theme (big home favorites) didn't work at all for me last week (1-4-1), but I figure I can't lose using the holiday mojo. In the first game, I'm thinkin' I gotta go with the team that knows winter and snow better than any, the Buffalo Bills. Now I don't even know if snow is on tap for this one, but after spending 4 years in upstate NY I do know that the Bill fans will grip onto this holiday mojo harder than their empty skoal can. Without Christmas up there, it's just a loser hockey town with a bunch of auto workers or somethin' where it's either snowing, hailing or just flat out frozen. So they need this one, for morale if anything else. In Cleveland, as much as I'd like to spread some Christmas cheer to my boy Brand X, I'm choosing instead to send the good vibes over to Tampa QB Tim Rattay. My man got shafted when he was sat down behind Chris(tal) Simms and then Bruce Gradkowski, but now that he's back, he's gonna make Chucky Gruden wish he'd given him the reigns much sooner. I mean hell, he only has a 95.1 QB rating this year with 3 TDs and only 1 pick. In the Chicago and St. Louis games, it's more like I'm sending reverse Christmas Karma. There's no dirtier city in the NFL than Detroit, and there's no bigger FRAUD team in the league than the Washington Redskins. Lions owner Matt Millen is seriously like 16-63 in his 5 years in that dirt hole and has even their loser fans wishing someone would leave a dynamite enema under his tree. As for Washington, owner Daniel Snyder is a whiny baby and you can see in his eyes that Joe Gibbs is thinking about NASCAR more and more each Sunday. Next, I'm obviously sending positive holiday juice to my Pats. The Jags are nasty at home (6-1), but hey we are 5-3 on the road and are probably the better team. Let's just hope good ole Tommy doesn't get all sappy missing his chick around the holidays. It's more likely that Tom, Ty Warren and Asante Samuel will be pissed they didn't find a Pro Bowl invite under their tree this year. Pathetic if you ask me, but hey if it drives Tom to win a different "bowl" this year then I'm totally in favor. On Christmas itself, I'm stepping out of character and going with two teams I can't stand, the Eagles and the Dolphins. Oooooo am I turning a new leaf or going soft? Nah, it's just they both happen to be playing teams I despise more than them. I hate the Jets more than the Phins (and it couldn't hurt sending my boy Imann out some holiday Dolphin love) and I hate the T.O's more than the Eagles. So there you have it kids. Feel free to waste some of your x-mas loots on these games, because after all, isn't that what Christmas money is for? Well that and booze. Delicious booze.*

Week 16 Picks
Buffalo Bills (-4.5) vs Tennessee Titans
Tampa Bay Bucs (+3) @ Cleveland Browns
Chicago Bears (-4.5) @ Detroit Lions
St. Louis Rams (-2) vs Washington Deadskins
New England Patriots (+3) @ Jacksonville Jags

Monday Night
Miami Dolphins (-2) vs New York Jets
Philadelphia Eagles (+7) @ Dallas Cowboys

Last Week: 1-4-1

2006 Season: 44-40-7 (.523)*

*Monday Night 8-8-0

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A RESPECTABLE WEEK!!

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